Wedding Registries, or Alternatively, a Donation.

Jodi - posted on 09/29/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )




I just received the invitation to my brother's wedding in November, and found it interesting that in addition to 2 gift registries, they have also chosen to add the following:

"Alternatively, we would be honoured if you would like to mak a donation to our chosen charity: Save the Children of Australia". Save the Children is the world's leading independint child rights organisation..... (etc)". It goes on to list the website and phone number.

Is this becoming a new trend? I actually thought it was a great idea, because for my brother it is his second marriage, his fiancee's first, but they have been living together for quite some time.

I am curious as to what others think?

After all, people have been doing this for funerals in place of flowers for as long as I remember, why not a wedding?


Mary - posted on 09/29/2010




I did this when my husband and I got married; it was a second marriage for me, and my husband was 41. Between the two of us, we had two households full of stuff. We didn't NEED anything - we needed to get rid of crap! I would have avoided the whole drama of another full wedding, but my husband had never been married before, and it was a really big deal to him and his family.

I absolutely refused any type of shower by his family; it seemed tacky and greedy. I did ask people, in lieu of gifts, to make a donation to my local chapter of the Humane Society, where I was a volunteer. I also did not do favors, and had handmade dog-themed cards on every table at the reception, thanking our guests for participating in our big day, and explaining that in place of favors, we were making a donation to the Humane Society in honor of the friends and family who shared in our wedding celebration.

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There's a difference between wanting gifts for selfish reasons versus an option to be selfless and make a donation. I think it was a nice combination being it was a 1st marriage for one person, and a remarriage for the other.

Jessica - posted on 09/30/2010




I like donating to charity in place of material things. This Christmas I will be donating to the Stroke association on behalf of the Ward that I work on instead of handing out Christmas cards. :D

I think it is much better than wasting money and paper/gifts that are going to be chucked at some point. Instead you can help to better/save lives.

Becky - posted on 09/29/2010




I think it is a wonderful idea. But I also agree with Lindsay that there is nothing wrong with wanting to get gifts either (as long as you don't actually expect it and make a big deal if someone can't/doesn't get you one.) Setting up a household is very expensive, if you're coming to it from living at home or being in school and are starting from zero. So I certainly have no issue with helping out with that a bit. On the other hand, Jeff and I got married at 30 and had both lived on our own for several years, so there wasn't really much that we needed. We basically just upgraded what we had with the gifts. So I do wish we'd thought of giving people the option to donate.
I've thought about doing that for my kids' birthday parties, because they have sooooo many toys and clothes already!

Lindsay - posted on 09/29/2010




I think it's a nice idea especially for a couple that has already established a household. BUT, I don't think there anything wrong with couples creating a registry for things they want or need either. I prefer to shop off a registry because then I know I am getting them something that they can use and there's no guessing to whether they will like it or not. Registries also help the couple in that a lot of places will let the couple purchase things off their registry that they did not recieve for gifts at a discounted price.

[deleted account]

I think it's a great idea! Very unsefish. Now I feel like a schlub though because when Steve and I got married, it was a second marriage for both of us and we had been living together for over 5 years lol But for both of us, it was our first real wedding. We had each just done the courthouse thing the first time around. But great idea and kudos on your brother and his fiance :)

[deleted account]

i think weddings are a big waste of money yes lovely very lovely but you think the amount of money poeple put in their wedding that could go off their house or mayb towards their house.or something totally different. who are you having the day for because really you have to make so many peole happy on your day
i thnk it is a great idea for u to give your guest the choice of what to do gift wise. me and my hubby eloped november last year :)

C. - posted on 09/29/2010




I love that idea. For the couple that feels they have all they need, why not help someone less fortunate? It's very commendable.

Jodi - posted on 09/29/2010




I'm a bit the same Erin, I don't like registries either. One of the reasons I see this as a thoughtful alternative. If they have to know how much I'm spending, then at least it can be a donation on their behalf!!

With my wedding to Rob, I just asked requested no gifts (my second marriage, and he had a household too, so we already had everything we needed). Some people gave gifts anyway, so something like this would have been ideal in that situation.

Ez - posted on 09/29/2010




I think it's a wonderful idea, especially in cases like your brother's where it's a second marriage and they've already been living together.

Registries irk me a little, to be honest. I don't want someone telling me what I can buy for them!! Not to mention the fact that if you buy something from their registry, they automatically know how much you've spent. /:)

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