What do you think?

[deleted account] ( 13 moms have responded )

Ind. mother forces son to wear sign reading "I lie, I steal, I sell drugs"



(CBS) FT. WAYNE, Ind. - An Indiana mother forced her son to wear a sign around his neck listing his law-breaking behavior and stand on a Ft. Wayne street corner for two hours earlier this week.





The sign read: "I lie, I steal, I sell drugs, I don't follow the law."



CBS New York reports that Dynesha Lax thought the punishment police had given her son when he broke the law recently wasn't strong enough to get him to stop his behavior, so she took matters into her own hands.



"He broke the law again today and they only gave him a few hours community service. So I decided that we're going to wear a sign," she said. "Since you're looking for attention, we're going to get you attention."



CBS Atlanta reports that some passing drivers evidently thought Lax was breaking the law and called police. But officers said Lax is completely within her rights to make her son stand on the side of the street. It is not illegal.



"I'm hoping that having him out here is going to make it sink in. It wasn't for it to be a joke or anything funny. He just had to stand out here two hours and suddenly it blew up. Then again they've got their way of parenting and I've got mine. My object is to save my son," said Lax.



http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-5...

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Kate CP - posted on 01/20/2012

8,942

36

758

After having the judicial system basically fail at reprimanding the kid, I can see why she resorted to this tactic. I don't blame her. Would I do it? If desperate enough...yea, probably. Would it work? I have no idea. I think it depends on the individual kid.



Edited to add:



I don't think treating him like a broken person will help, either. Some kids just LIKE to get into trouble and it really has nothing to do with poor self esteem or what have you. I'm not saying it's ALWAYS the case, but if THIS particular kid is selling drugs it's not because he has low self esteem: it's because he wants easy money.

Jodi - posted on 01/19/2012

3,562

36

3907

I understand why she has resorted to doing this. As parents, we are often at our wits end on where to turn next. Obviously, the article doesn't elaborate on what else they have tried.



However I do question whether it will be effective. It doesn't address the *why* he is doing these things. Humiliating a child into compliance isn't going to work unless you know why he is doing it. But as I said, I don't know if she may have already tried some counselling to get to the bottom of this question. Personally I think a parenting course, or family counselling could potentially have better long term results.

Kelina - posted on 01/21/2012

2,018

9

235

I think sometimes half of parenting is trying to figure out how to correct our stupid mistakes. Have any of you ever seen the movie 28 days? when they need a little extra help they put signs around their necks. After having the justice system fail her son yet again, I think this woman was desperate and that used correctly this could be a wonderful tool. Standing on the sidewalk alone probably wouldn't do much unless he's really a good kid at heart and hates the humiliation. but possibly, if she sat him down afterwards and started in on the that's the past and this is what we're going to do from now on, with a really positive attitude and began doing some of the things Wendy did, it could be the eye opener he needed. That just because the judge didn't do anything to him that doesn't mean mom won't. I think if I were at my wits end, had tried everything and those things were still happening, I'd resort to that. To me it shows me she cares about her son, and she's not giving up on him.

13 Comments

View replies by

Merry - posted on 01/21/2012

9,274

169

263

Idk, I see her point and I see what she wanted to accomplish but I feel it's public humiliation and really not the best way to deal with it.

It seems very ghetto to me.

Maybe it would work? Maybe he just ends up hating his mom and running away.

Not a choice I'd make but I do see what she was trying to accomplish....

Rosie - posted on 01/21/2012

8,657

30

321

i'm not sure i'm in favor of it, as tempting as it is to me. it's negative, negative, negative. i'm sure every type of punishment this kid has had his whole life has been negative. i'm pretty sure that humiliating the kid isn't going to do much of anything other than make him more pissed off and disrespectful towards his mother, making him not want to listen to a word she says.



of course, if she had used positive reinforcement to begin with i don't believe she would've had this problem in the first place.

Wendy - posted on 01/21/2012

285

29

59

@ Joy It really is a tough question........I don't know all the details to this story none of us do. I understand the mothers frustration i have been frustrated many a time with my 15 year old daughter...Who has Skipped school enough to fail almost all of grade 9 in high school, lied, Smoked cigerates and pot, Been suspended 5 times to date, Stolen from me and older sister, Room is a pig sty, Broken her bedroom door,Broken cell phpne, Temper. I could go on......I have been a constantly involved parent, school on my 5 phone list, first name basis with Principle of school and all teachers including guidence, Supported her always showing her i believe in her ability, shown her compassion, understanding, unconditional love, allowed her to make decissions, shown her respect and expecting it back, laughed with her about her antics and sharing some of mine as a teenager, working with her and school to come up with a plan of action she and the school can bennifit from (co-op) that normaly starts in grade 11 she is now in 10, using natural consaquences for her actions (Summer school) (detentions) ( no cell) that means she can't go far from home.....She also completed a Anger manigement course with great sucess...... I have allowed her some freedom of expression Eg; she earned a navel piercing for 2 credits...If it works to motivate her why the hell not ....lol....long post oops......to wrap it up i only know if i had humiliated her through this process the respect would be out the window and we would not be where we are now with her......passed all her credits, attendance amazing, no suspentions, no stealing, no throwing stuff from anger, amazing school reports from principal and co-op placement, what a change! she still has a few isues but were getting there.........there are resorces out there for parents full of informatation and internet also a great source to help us deal with our teenagers but we have to be willing to go find it and educate ourselfs so we can bennifit our kids with better methods of parenting...

Kylie - posted on 01/20/2012

2,391

81

190

I dont think humiliation teaches anything. The kid probably has self esteem issues and to have his mother label him a liar, cheat and drug dealer like that, i think is mean and ineffective. I'm sure those things hes been labelled are all he thinks he is now and all hes worth. If i was in that situation and i would approach it a lot differently. I'd understand that young people are need satisfying creatures... try and find out what needs are not being met, it is attention, respect or is it peer pressure or bordeom? I'd have him in a good school and work on building up his self worth, make sure he had a great male role model. My punishment would probably be helping him get a part time job. That would keep him busy and let him see how hard people work for their things.

[deleted account]

I think he's 14 Emma.



@ Wendy ~ So, if you were in this mother's shoes and ALL of your efforts had failed, and your child continued breaking the law, what would you do?

Wendy - posted on 01/19/2012

285

29

59

Public humilatation I'm quite sure will only agrivate the problem....We have come alot further than this in schools ;eg Dunce hat, standing in corner, im sure there is a better way than doing this to your kids....If i was that kid i would never forgive her...seriously how could she and why would you resort to humiliating them....Ya thats a motivater.....Not! My 2 cents

[deleted account]

From what I heard on the radio yesterday, the mom has tried counselling and her son is just out of control so she resorted to this action.

Sara - posted on 01/19/2012

9,313

50

586

You do the crime, then you do the time. I say good for her, to be honest.

[deleted account]

I say HELL YEAH! They were talking about this story on the radio at work yesterday and people were calling in, talking about how she humiliated her son and obviously wasn't a good mother because if she was he wouldn't be doing these illegal things. I say BS! Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, your kids will do what they want to do and I think this woman's tactic was genius! I don't think it shamed him or humiliated him.....and if it did, then maybe it will be the kick in the pants he needs to keep his ass outta trouble. There are FAR worse things she could have done to "get her kid in line". She's not abusing him. She's teaching him a lesson and I say more power to her.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms