What do you think about the Time magazine article?

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Anna - posted on 05/14/2012

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Extending breastfeeding. like breastfeeding in general, only makes sense in the context of caring for your child. This child looks like he's being held there against his will, not like he's being cared for at all. That's my problem with it. If it's all about the mom and her agenda then sure, it's exploitation of the child.



It just bugs me thinking about what they were trying to do with this. This woman is making herself a poster mom for extended breastfeeding and she chose that picture for reasons which I cannot imagine. Or actually I can. It sells magazines.



Edited to add: Sorry that reads so harsh. I'm sure she's using attachment parenting because she wants what's best for her children. I'm just mad she (and TIME) chose that image to get her point across. It's counterproductive.

Aleks - posted on 05/11/2012

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I think that this photo alone will set back any support for extended nursing (ie, beyond 6-9 mths of age), that may have been gained in the last few years.

Personally, I don't have issue (ie, yes, I see the obvious problems with it, but it does not offend me, per se) with the pose in the picture, but I know that MOST people will be horrified and disgusted. And to be honest, its there as a shock value to create interest and sell more magazines. Cheap and tacky way of doing it, but it will work (it already has worked... so many comments and posts about this piece all over the net already). So totally western world strategy to sell something! (eyeroll) Its definitively not there to inform and educate, as it were... sadly :-(

Merry - posted on 05/13/2012

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Rachel, children who remember breastfeeding don't think of it as weird sexual or awkward, they remember it as warm snuggles with mom as a little kid.
Lots of kids do things as little ones that they would be embarressed totell their first boyfriend or girlfriend' eating boogers, painting with their poop, kissing dad on the lips, claiming to marry mom etc.
So when they remember breastfeding its just part of their life, not any more uncomfortable then the rest of the things little kids do.
And, usually, kids don't walk and talk while breastfeeding. They sit down in moms lap just as a weaned child might, only difference is they suckle on the breast instead of the thumb or pacifier or blanket.

And lastly, it's only weird until youve been there done that. As is with many parts of life! Until we see it or experience it in a way that affects us we really can't totally understand it. So yes, it seems weird to you as youve never done it. But it's really something that vecomes understood when you've lived it" or seen a trusted person live it.

Isobel - posted on 05/12/2012

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"Moms who are more AP minded aren't all stuck up holier then thou in yoür face types. "



doing my best not to roflmfao.



Not ALL of them are...I have friends who clearly aren't...but anybody who labels their parenting is suspect in my books ;P

Merry - posted on 05/11/2012

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I don't really like it. I'm nursing my three year old still but I feel this is trying to pick a fight, or even trying to use some tactic to 'recommend' ap and full term nursing when in reality they are trying to poke fun at it.
Idk. As a seriously dedicated supporter of breastfeeding til whatever age, I just don't think this will do any good.

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♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 05/15/2012

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@ Casey, Agreed. It's not a natural pose

BTW the trial over the weekend weaning didn't work very well. I forgot my pump when I first got up to camp and when I woke up Saturday morning I had to express manually. It didn't work too well so after breakfast and morning crafts I drove an hour back to my place, nursed and pumped at the same time. By Sunday I was glad to get back and so was Lilli because she tried to nurse from my MIL over the weekend before realising that she wasn't mommy.

I also found out that my inlaws both think it's time I wean. Seriously though what does my FIL know? For one he never breastfed and for two his daily diet consists of beer, tea and cigarettes. I think he eats once a week. My mom hasn't said anything about it.

Casey - posted on 05/14/2012

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the kid in the pic isn't even breast feeding tho, he's just standing there with his mothers nipple in his mouth. awkward.....

Aleks - posted on 05/14/2012

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Well, if our society did not find "extended breastfeeding" (totally wrong terminology anyway, its more like "natural duration"): deviant, wrong, sexual, just for the mother, sick and just plain disgusting, but rather natural, loving, normal and just plain "whatever, who cares", then I am sure that the child (posing with his mother) would have zero reason to be weirded out by the fact that he was breastfed for so long.

:-)

[deleted account]

I guess to each their own, but I saw a woman breastfeeding her older child, I would guess at least 4 years old, if not 5 or 6, and I just found it looked odd for her to be doing it on a bus and I do think that the kid won't think its sexual but when they get older they might be a bit weirded out that they breastfed till they were older.

Casey - posted on 05/14/2012

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In the article she says she breastfeeds him about once a month. Does she have a baby to keep her producing? If she wants to breastfeed her son at that age, although it isn't my cup of tea, fine. HOWEVER the pose on that page is so posed, and thanks for the picture for bullies and tormentors in grade school. really? Its just been provocative for the sake of it. If she were sitting down, or in a normal breastfeeding pose, it may not have looked as weird as it does. ugh I dunno. the thought f having a four year old come to lift up my shirt to suck on my nipple seems cringe worthy to me.

Merry - posted on 05/14/2012

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At my grandma in laws house yesterday she ranted and raved about this picture. She said very strong words like disgusting, horrid, terrible, shameful, gross, etc. she's never liked me anyways and she's unaware tat Eric isn't weaned yet so I just kept quiet.
It's sad, she weaned her three by around 6 weeks as per her drs orders as the milk is only good for that amount and then formula is the best choice. She's so incredibly uneducated and unwilling to learn so I try to just tune her out.
I love it when I see older women pro bf and educated. It's wonderful to see when people keep up with the times and not just hate anything that isn't how it was in their day.

Isobel - posted on 05/14/2012

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What REALLY ticked me off were the negative reactions from the breastfeeding moms. One mother said that she was breastfeeding her three year old but that THIS picture turned breastfeeding into porn. I nearly threw my computer at the wall, the hypocracy was unbelievable IMHO.

Stifler's - posted on 05/14/2012

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I read the comments on the Facebook picture and was disgusted by so many people saying the pic was disgusting or sexual or that they will never read TIME again because of it. Sure it was probably meant to be controversial but REALLY? Extended breastfeeding is not sexual, child abuse or disgusting.

Renee - posted on 05/13/2012

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So glad to see so many replies, and nobody (except one person) saying the picture looks sexual! I have seen so many people say that, and when I ask them WHAT IS SEXUAL ABOUT IT??? they have no explanation! I agree that it is controversial, but I don't think it is that big a deal. What people are ignoring is the fact that in many countries, nursing to 5 years is normal. America isn't the worldwide standard in everything, as much as we like to think we are. Actually, we are pretty behind in some areas, like breastfeeding, and taking care of the family unit. =]
And to whoever said they chose a young pretty model with perky boobs, ummmm...thats a real mom and her son. Genetics have everything to do with it, and I'm sure she works VERY hard to keep her body! Breastfeeding doesn't ruin your boobs, I know plenty of women who never nursed and have saggy boobs, lol.

Aleks - posted on 05/13/2012

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That's a really good way of looking at extended breatfeeding Laura :-) and definitively a great rebuttal to the "it will be damaging to the kid when s/he gets older". Thanks, I shall use this kind of example when having to argue the extended bf point.

Aleks - posted on 05/13/2012

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Here we go again... o_0



start the extended breastfeeding debate...................









NOW!!!!!!

[deleted account]

I think that it is doing what it was intended to do, which is stirring up controvery, but personally am not a fan of extended breastfeeding., I understand it has health benefits to breastfeeding but think that a certain point it gets to be a bit much and you need to start considering the psychological impact it might have when they are a teenager and you tell them they breastfed until they were 4. On a purely superficial level I just think it looks weird to have a walking, talking, preschooler sucking on a breast

Isobel - posted on 05/12/2012

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I disagree...I think 99% of us fit somewhere in the middle and forge our own way through.

Merry - posted on 05/12/2012

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Everyone fits a label. If you don't claim it then you'll just be assigned it silently in the minds of others anyways. And I said they aren't all like that. Not that none are.

Janice - posted on 05/11/2012

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Laura I couldn't agree more. Also Time had other pics to choose from including one where the same pair is in a more traditional position. Time magazine was purposefully try to cause drama. Its so frustrating!

Merry - posted on 05/11/2012

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Mostly I just don't like how the picture portrays full term breastfeeding, the child is not even touching his mom besides mouth to breast, she's not touching him, and neither are looking like they notice eachother really. It's just cold. Not like how most older nurslings appear when nursing. And it's trying to pick fights.
No one is better for bf longer or being more ap or whatever. Moms who are more AP minded aren't all stuck up holier then thou in yoür face types.

Mrs. - posted on 05/11/2012

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You know, I finally connected who this woman is. I've been forwarded a link to her blog awhile back. I found it to be a bit high on pictures of her modelling with her kids and low on insight. She is a model/blogger (I love this new "/" combo, it is the best). I remember thinking at the time that it all seemed a bit fame whorish...but hey, if you want to get yourself out there as a model, you gotta be a bit fame whorey.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 05/11/2012

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Celeste, you're not alone. I only co-sleep because if I didn't no one would get any sleep!

Celeste - posted on 05/11/2012

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Mommy A: But the title is off-putting. Please EB mom's don;t jump down my throat. I am just not that type of parent. We didn't co-sleep unless my little one is sick or I fell asleep nursing and I don't like EB....but that's not to say other's shouldn't. As long as your kids are happy, healthy, and emotionally well individuals....more power to you.


And this is why I don't like the title. I didn't nurse my boys into toddlerhood because I think I'm better than other moms, or that I'm "mom enough". My decision had nothing to do with anyone else but our family..

Mommy - posted on 05/11/2012

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The picture doesn't shock me, and I wasn't bothered by it. I just took it as "Oh, there goes someone doing something I will never do....to each their own." But the title is off-putting. Please EB mom's don;t jump down my throat. I am just not that type of parent. We didn't co-sleep unless my little one is sick or I fell asleep nursing and I don't like EB....but that's not to say other's shouldn't. As long as your kids are happy, healthy, and emotionally well individuals....more power to you.


Also, I found that friends of mine who do not have children are very judgmental about the picture. I think when you become a mom you recognize different strokes for different folks, and that's cool.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 05/11/2012

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I'm beyond mom enough and my husband is wonderfully dad enough (We use the dog house sleeping position (ie: DH on the couch) as soon as Lilli wakes up) to try this for a while (except I have to go camping for girl guides this weekend so it's trial weaning I guess) But the cover photo could have been better executed so it doesn't look like the mom is disinterested

Janice - posted on 05/11/2012

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I don't like the title either. I really think Time was purposefully trying to cause a ruckus! The title is quite mean spirited.

Sal - posted on 05/11/2012

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I dont care how long you bf for or Indeed you don't I don't think having your 3+ yr old still bf makes you more "mom enough" than me... But like most people I don't like the pose, it to me seems negative, as it reminds me of seeing mother ewes trying to get rid of a lamb when weaning. The poor mumma sheep keeps walking around making it difficult of the lamb to feed from her and it keeps streching pulling at the mother, this was really the first thing that came to my mind when I saw the pic

Isobel - posted on 05/11/2012

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I took "mom enough" to be a play on "man enough" (meaning brave enough). I think the extended breast-feeders don't like the pose because it reminds them that the cuddly little sleeping child they are breastfeeding is not a baby even if they slightly resemble one when they are curled up in their mother's arms.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 05/11/2012

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Sorry but I don't like it!

I do not like the title. "Are you Mom enough?". FFS, why can't we get passed this? How very friggen ignorant to all the Mom's that either cannot or choose not to breastfeed or all of those, that do not want or do not agree with breastfeeding past a certain age.

I am all for breastfeeding and I have no issue if you choose to extend breastfeeding, forever. That's your prerogative. However, who the hell does it like the magazine is representing? That kid looks way older than 3 (not that there is an issue with that, if you want to go over age 3). The mother looks, just wrong. I never knew a mother that got their kid to stand on a stool and breastfed. And to me it just looks sexual. Sorry.

Celeste - posted on 05/11/2012

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I'm not even going to bother reading the comments. It's going to piss me off. Plus, I already know what it's going to say
-Pump at put it in a cup
-If the kid can ask for it by name, that they're too old
-Only doing to get the mom's rocks off
-Only doing it because the mom doesn't want the kid to grow up
-And of course, comparing us to child molesters (which, as a survivor of child molestation, that really grinds my gears)

Celeste - posted on 05/11/2012

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Not a fan of the cover for a few reasons:
-"Are you mom enough?" seems to imply that moms who choose not to extend nurse that they aren't "mom enough". I feel like it ignites the "mom wars"
-I hate that it calls it "extreme".
-I don't think that's an actual depiction of a preschool aged child nursing (at least it wasn't for me. My boys never stood on a chair to nurse)
-Society in general, is pretty shitty to those who do choose to nurse older kids and I feel like it feeds more fire to the flames to call us crazy, child molesters, etc.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/11/2012

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BFing does NOT help your boob situation. Think of how much worse your boobs would have been if you DID BF. Terrible.

Lady Heather - posted on 05/10/2012

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Yeah, it is pregnancy that wrecks your boobs. I had non breast fed baby first and omg.

On a related note, I plan on breastfeeding this one until she leaves home just so I can keep enjoying actually having boobs again. And if I had arms like that lady I might do it on a magazine cover too.

Janice - posted on 05/10/2012

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OMG In my effort to find your post Megan (still not seeing it) I have responded to a dozen posts in an effort to inform people. Most people are so ill-informed about breastfeeding and even more so about natural duration. Quite sad the amount of comments relating it to child porn and molestation.

**Jackie** - posted on 05/10/2012

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I will be completely honest and say my eyes bugged out when I saw this picture. I just wasn't expecting it. After looking at it for a bit I warmed up to it and I kind of like the pose. To me, it's showing that a 3 year old doesn't have to be rocked or coddled while breastfeeding. It can be a normal thing he does while standing up (with the help of a stool or chair).

I don't think anyone has psychological issues when practicing extended BF. Whomever is claiming that should read a friggen book.

Just a side note:I did not breast feed at all.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 05/10/2012

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Janice, very true. I posted on this article (Domino_kitty is my user name) this morning and mentioned that I still breastfeed my 14 month old. I was told I have psychological issues and that breastfeeding past a year isn't helping anyone but the mom who is getting something physical from it.

Uh yeah.. I just love it when my daughter wiggles around and kicks things and tugs on my breast while she enjoys her after dinner drink. It's one of the highlights of my day.

Janice - posted on 05/10/2012

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I hope that extended breastfeeding will start to be seen as something normal. Unfortunately much of the US isnt ready for this photo. IMO this photo goes so far beyond people's comfort zone that instead of saying breastfeeding a three year-old in natural they will just see it as another extremist breast-feeder trying to show off their boob.



There is a link to other photo's they could have chose from embedded in the article. I think there were better photo choices IMO

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 05/10/2012

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I just think the pose looks more unnatural. My 14 month old will sometimes finish nursing standing up (after twisting herself off the couch) so I'm bent over trying not to let my baby take off with my boob (something she's done while looking at one of the cats.. ouch!).



So maybe the woman is short, or her son is tall... or it's both, but the pose should have been re-thought. Especially when you're using your child to make a statement.



ETA: I saw a better picture of the cover on Entertainment tonight/ yahoo news. The boy is standing on a chair and leaning in, both mom and son are looking at the camera not at each other. It's hardly a natural pose to display attachment parenting properly.

Kelina - posted on 05/10/2012

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I don't see an issue with it. My son is 3 1/2 my daughter is 1 1/2 and I'd love to be at least able to be still breastfeeding my daughter. EB like she's doing isn't exactly my cup of tea but if she's able to and wants to why not? I also agree with Laura, this pose is going to jump out at people and you can clearly see the age of the child. I think if they attempted a closer pose, it would be more difficult to see the age of the child as well as including the mother in the shot. I also agree it's not the best choice for a pose, but at least she has her arm around her son. I think it gets the message across.

Isobel - posted on 05/10/2012

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Are you guys telling me that my lactation consultant lied to me when she said pregnancy (not breastfeeding) was what makes your boobs saggy?

It's amazing to me how judgemental of a fellow extended breastfeeder people are because she did the pic standing up. Maybe the point was "Yeah, that's right, he's big enough to stand and we're still breastfeeding...so what?"

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 05/10/2012

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Oh I just read that article on yahoo news! Hot damn are people uninformed and unbelievably ignorant on the suggested duration of breastfeeding. There were posters calling it CHILD PORN! FFS! It's like nearly everyone on there hadn't heard of Natural duration including the person who wrote the article for yahoo news. PG-13 my ass.



I'm with Janice that the pose is all wrong- seriously has anyone (besides myself because Lilli squirms her way out of feedings now when she's had enough milk!) tried to feed a standing toddler NOT FUN!



Pregnancy in general though wrecks your boobs. I swear that the only reason my mom still has nice perky boobs at 58 is because she adopted. I have aunts who didn't breastfeed and their boobs are still not where they should be. I'm 30 and I don't feel like mine are where they should be. They haven't been where they should be since I was 23 and had my first baby.

Janice - posted on 05/10/2012

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Lots of pretty and thin women are also breastfeeding moms but I definitely agree that your boobs take a turn south! I definitely miss the pre-kid perk!

Janice - posted on 05/10/2012

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Holy Shit!
I am all for extended breastfeeding including in public with out a cover. However, the way this is posed is sooooo wrong!!! Anyone who actually does breastfeed their pre-school aged child would tell you that this is not how its done!!!

Is Time purposefully trying to make extended breastfeeding look bad? Cause that is what they have done in my opinion.

Sure maybe the article is more realistic but most will be so appalled by the cover they wont get that far. I feel quite sad for all the loving moms who breastfeed to natural duration who will have to deal with the backlash that this poorly done photo may cause.

Alison - posted on 05/10/2012

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I can't blame Time for using an attractive woman... that's what magazines do! Besides, it would be unfair to use a fat old unkempt mom, because that would skew their audience's opinion on the subject.

I like the provocative nature of it. I agree that it is a cruel stunt to play on your son. And I think extended breastfeeding is weird.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/10/2012

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And, YES BFing does indeed make for sloppier boobies Rebecca.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/10/2012

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I guess what actually bothers me the most is her chosen pose. For an attachment parenting article, you figure they should have had more of a nurturing position. Not the kid climbing on a stool to get to the boob. Sitting would have been more realistic, and get the point across in a better way IMO. This position IMO just reiterates the idea of older children who EBF running over to their mothers and lifting up their moms shirts anytime, anyplace for a bite to eat.

Mrs. - posted on 05/10/2012

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I also find it interesting that they chose a very young, very attractive, slim woman who looks like her boobs are untouched by the process of extending breast feeding. I've rarely seen an extended breast feeder with breasts so pert and lacking in stretch-marks. I'm not sure this is the "real" face of extended breastfeeding on the cover of Time. This woman looks like a freak, not because she's practicing extended breastfeeding, but because her boobs look untouched by the breastfeeding process. Is she vampire? I'm sure it is really good air brushing and she is a part-time model or something....and they purposely got a really good looking woman to make it more in your face (and get people to look and buy at the news stand)...but I'm still a bit unimpressed by the lack of "realness" to the photo.

And before anyone starts claiming that their boobs looks the same and breastfeeding doesn't affect the way your boobs look....I'm asking for pics to prove it ;)! That's right, let's see those puppies. Otherwise, I will not buy the argument.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/10/2012

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You just beat me to this! I was gonna start a debate on this also. Well, I am not big on extended BFing for myself, and past a certain age with it I will admit that I am uncomfortable. As far as this goes, I sure as hell would not want to be this kid in 15 years.

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