What should i do?

Nikkole - posted on 04/05/2011 ( 13 moms have responded )

1,505

31

49

Ok i have asked advice before about my family on here but me and my husband are at our wits end and we need advice!

My husband was laid off last year and we had to move in with my family and we were having trouble paying our bills (do to no money) so my mom talked us into filing for bankruptcy (which we needed but not the BEST decision for us) so we have 4more years till we are out of that crap, so since my husbands credit is horrible we can not get a house or anything for a while! We have had arguments around here about my sister stealing from us,about giving my son coke and candy, and just not listening to us and we talked and thought things were getting better but they are starting to get bad again! My mom has 2 Weiner dogs and they are older well one has bitten my son TWICE today was the second time in the face luckily my husband was with him and kicked her before she really hurt him. Well i called my mom and said YOU HAVE TO GET RID OF THEM, her response was "well we can keep them outside till i figure something out" UH why would you even think about keeping a dog that bites your grandson i can't understand that! So we would have to let theses dogs in and out ALL day every day! Now i am i stay at home mom for right now (im going back to school soon) But i clean the house EVERY day when my sister and parents get home they make it a wreck and expect me to clean it up and i don't feel thats fair i mean we pay bills here and help out a lot (my husband fixes things for my mom ALL THE TIME)! Well my mother in law owns a house not far from here and she wants to give us the house (shes getting older) But we can not afford it for a while longer with both of us being in school so should we just move in with her and help fix the house up and everything and then when we are ready we will already be living there? Me and my husband NEED advice we have no clue what to do and i know if we move out my mom will FREAK out!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

Hmm I wouldn't worry much about freaking your mother out. Sounds to me like she is taking advantage of you being there but with the whole "you owe me big time" attitude. Almost sounds like my partner's Dad (UGH I HATE HIM!) Yeah, you either need to seriously talk to your family about the severity of the situation and tell them that you are greatful for them helping you, but you feel that you are pulling a little more weight than you should be. And bitten by a weenie dog! :O And I always thought they were little and cute lol. Well if it is a biting dog, (sounds like it is) then you could tell your mother that until that habit stops, then he cannot be inside. Or fence off an inside part that the dog can be in, but your son can't get to? But moving out to your MIL's sounds like a good idea! I would talk to you her about helping and fixing the house until you can afford it and stay with her. Your mother is still 'family' but you have your own to look after now, and that is more important. A healthy home is what your son needs and biting sausages and crazy family is not that. Good luck!

Veronique - posted on 04/05/2011

389

17

21

Poor you! I know how you guys are feeling. 4 years ago me and my husband had ton do a consumer proposal which is like a bankruptcy but you get to keep your assets meaning house,car ect ect. In Oct 2012 we will be out of debt but actually we are planing on paying it off in Dec 2011 so yeah it's been hard. So my mom kinda of pick up the bills, more like things for the kids so that our money could go to paying bills instead. So she's been a big help but the bad side of it is she feels that because she's help out so much that it intitles her to control my life and my daughters. I would say to save your marriage and keep the peace between you and your family i would move in to the house that your mother in law offered. Live there till you can offered it on your own and just help out thw way to did at your parents. It's better then having your child eaten by little weiners dogs :) If your mom is unwilling to get rif of a dog that is a danger to your child then just leave. You know what who cares if the get upset they'll get over it.
Good luck

13 Comments

View replies by

[deleted account]

Advise your mother that if the dog is not removed promptly, you will have to report the bite to her homeowner's insurance.

Yes, your mom helped you but she's not helping you now. Stand up for yourself and your family. You will feel much better about yourself in the long run (even if the short term is painful).

Krista - posted on 04/05/2011

12,562

16

847

Gad, yes! Move in with your MIL. It sounds perfect.

In the meantime, talk to your bank. Bankruptcies do stay on your file for 7 years. However, you can often start rebuilding your credit after 5 years have passed. That way, when the 7 years are up, you're not starting from zero with no credit record at all (which, for lending purposes, is almost worse than bad credit). Some banks will arrange for you to give them a secured deposit of $1000, say, and you'll get a credit card for $1000. That way, you can use it, pay it off in full every month, and build your credit record back up. (And it's no risk for the bank, because if you don't pay it, they already have payment for the full credit limit set aside.)

April - posted on 04/05/2011

3,420

16

263

I agree with the others, it's time to leave your parent's home. Take your MIL up on her offer.

Tinker1987 - posted on 04/05/2011

1,144

5

10

I think it would be good for both situations if you took your husbands mom up for her offer. Your family opened their home to yours which was very nice of them,i dont think its totally fair to make your mom give away her dogs.im not saying the dog biting is something i would allow but dogs can be trained too tolerate kids.by you having a proffesional help. and reacting to the situation by Kicking and beating the dog wont help it would make the dog more resentful towards kids. but if your worried for the time being.keep them seperated.or be at arms reach if the child is close to the dog. Your mom shouldnt freak out if you move.Make her understand you just want whats best for everybody!

Marylea - posted on 04/05/2011

236

3

35

Like all the other ladies on here have said, I'd move into your MIL's. I hope things work out for you guys, good luck.

Lady Heather - posted on 04/05/2011

2,448

17

91

I love my dogs, but if one was biting my kid...oh hell no. That just can't continue. I'd move to the MILs if I was you. That blows.

Veronique - posted on 04/05/2011

389

17

21

I've learnt that if you husband is stress free,loves coming home then it makes a very happy marriage. But if you husband is always under stress well of course you will hear about it and of course you'll argue. So talk but i really think that's the best solution for you guys.
Good luck :)

Nikkole - posted on 04/05/2011

1,505

31

49

@Veronique thank you for the advice i think thats what we are going to end up doing! My husband HATES living here because of everything and is VERY stressed out and its hard on our marriage and yea getting eaten by wiener dogs is NOT good lol! Thanks again :)

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms