What would you do?

Celine - posted on 01/31/2012 ( 11 moms have responded )

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10 days ago I gave birth to my twin boys, and after giving birth to them I called their father - I knew he wouldn't be thrilled to hear about them, he already told me to leave when I was just 11 weeks pregnant that if I didn't get an abortion RIGHT NOW he would never see me again.



I told him that the twins where born and how big they were and everything, and he just told me to shoot them!

It really broke my heart hearing that!



I decided that he is NEVER going to see the twins! But I want them to have a father.



My other son, Phillip, his father has offered to be like a father to the twins, but I don't know if I should accept that.



What would you do?

Do you think their father will ever change or anything like that?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Michelle - posted on 02/02/2012

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If ANYONE let alone the childrens father EVER said that they would NEVER see them again! Thats just dangerous if I was you I wouldnt worry too much about getting them a 'father', but if you want them to have male influence than your other sons father sounds wonderful especially if he wants to have an influence and you can trust him with them.

Amanda - posted on 02/01/2012

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Children can NEVER have too many postive influences in their lives. You son's father sounds like a very thoughtful man, and he realizes these bundles of joy are his sons brothers. Best of luck to you and yours.

11 Comments

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Merry - posted on 02/03/2012

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He could change but even if he did I would never let him around the twins.

Saying something that bad takes awhile new level of dead beat dad to dangerous man.

Raise your precious boys yourself and let Philips cdad be a positive man in their lives when they are older and make sure the man who fathered them never sees them again.



I hope he has to pay child support.

Stifler's - posted on 02/03/2012

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No they will be just fine without a person who doesn't want them around. They need love not a "father" for the sake of having a father. If your sons father is willing to be a positive male role model then I wouldn't bother with the dad.

Celine - posted on 02/01/2012

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Cathy > Yes, I think so too - and he is already a big part of their lives because he is pretty much always here to help me with different stuff, and playing with his son.



I don't think he will either, and I'm actually not sure I would let him be a part of their lives even if he did change.

Celine - posted on 02/01/2012

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I already have full custody, since he don't want anything to do with them that one was easy.



I'm not with Phillip's father, so he will not be able to adopt them - but he can still be the man they will know as their father.

And when they get older they'll might go visit him in the weekends, if he wants them to ofcourse.

Kelina - posted on 01/31/2012

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I think for now that that would be ok. It would probably be really difficult to explain to your other son why he goes to visit his daddy but they don't or why they don't call him daddy when they get big enough. I also agree, see about getting him to sign over his rights. I don't think he's going to change.

Jodi - posted on 01/31/2012

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If I were you, I would go one step further than full custody. Ask that he sign over all rights, then if your other sons father agrees, he can legally adopt them and BE their father...not just "like" a father (if you two are together that is.). Be the best mommy you can. And, as a mommy of now 1 year old twins myself...I must just say CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Their daddy is definately missing out, but from the sounds of it, they will NOT be missing out on not having a daddy like that. Trust me, my dad wanted me aborted and never let me forget it...he didn't "come around" until I left home.

Krista - posted on 01/31/2012

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No, I can't see their father ever changing. It's one thing if he was scared or freaked out, but he's positively HATEFUL towards you and the babies. And like Kalloosit said, make sure you file for full custody.



For now, I would concentrate more on just being the best mommy you can be, and in adjusting to your new babies. Worry about father figures later, when you've got your feet under you.

Pam - posted on 01/31/2012

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Just be the best mommy possible (and I sure you are) and make sure to get full custody of them to ensure he cant just walk into their lives and be a jerk. You should also get the government to shave his pay and give you support. As for the offer, if your comfortable with it, take him up on it. :-) You can do this~ ♥

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