Where is the respect?

Danielle - posted on 02/18/2011 ( 17 moms have responded )

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I was on FB last night and on my wall was a post to a girl (lets call her A) from another girl that was just absolutley infuriating to me. A is around 13 and this other girl had wrote on her wall and was saying things to her that I as an adult would not say to my worste enemy. As I read I realized that she was mad at A for turning a 17 yr old boy in for trying to give a 13 yr old pills. First of all it takes a strong person to do something like that and I'm proud of her but you wouldn't believe the attack she is under b/c of it.Of course A's parents got on there and told the girl to leave her alone and they would go to the police if it didn't stop and the girl started saying things to them that just had my mouth hitting the floor. My question is WHERE ARE THAT GIRL'S PARENTS?!? And why haven't they taught her to respect adults? I understand that kids are going to fight but when a thirteen yr old tells an adult to go f**k themselves I believe you have failed as a parent. If my kids EVER talked like that to an adult they would stare at the same four walls for two mnths! They wouldn't even know what daylight looked like! And let someone elses child talk to my kids (or me for that matter) the way that girl was talking to them and their parents would have a nasty surprise when I showed up on their doorstep. I would never lay a hand on a child but I'm not past kicking an adult's ass. It infuriates me that this is our future we're raising and some parents just don't care. I've even heard parents say that they want their child to be a bullie so the child isn't bullied. Don't bring those kids to my house. My kids are taught to respect other ppl but to stand up for themselves. Ok so my ranting is done. What are your thoughts on the matter? Do you think that parents today are lazy when it comes to respect and manners?

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Brandi - posted on 02/18/2011

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I'm sorry but if my kids spoke, or well speak like that when they get that age, that will be a bad choice. Not only will I wash their mouth out, they will not leave the house except to go to school, no going out with friends, no talking on the ohone, no tv, no stereo (or ipod), no video games, they will have absolutely nothing but time to sit alone in their room to think about how RUDE and ILL MANNERED it is to talk to anyone like that. They will do that for at least a month, and if it happens again, it will be 2 months. I will not stand for disrespectful children. No way, no how!

Kylie - posted on 02/18/2011

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It's pretty classless and weak it happened publicly on a FB wall and I think it's a lot easier to be rude and disrespectful to an adult through a computer. But saying that, children are definitely a product of their environment. If they grow up hearing vulgar language, being exposed to violence and drugs and parent who are not emotionally there for them, then there is little hope.
My parents brought me up to be respectful, i didn't backchat adults i didn't know well, i never swore in an adults presence and always used manners. But we knew kids who were disrespectful and who smoked and snuck out to meet up with boys at age 13. So i dont think it's parents of today. I think there always parents in any generation that have dropped the ball and fail their kids and society.
I believe the best way to teach kids respect for others is by modeling it yourself, So It's pretty sad to think these messed up kids grow up and have kids and continue the cycle:/
What i would do is cut contact with people like that and surround myself with families who care and have similar values.

Amie - posted on 02/18/2011

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There's also a difference between a momentary lapse in judgment and someone who does this all the time.

All kids have the lapse in judgment moments, it happens. That's why concerned parents are on top of it. The lazy ones are the ones of "those" kids who don't do anything to correct it and it continues to happen.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/18/2011

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And this is why I don't think anyone under 18 should have access to a social network...point proved.

Amie - posted on 02/18/2011

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Yes I think they are. Either be a parent or hand off the kid.

Our oldest has already gone through enough crap because of ill mannered, lazy parented, shit headed kids. All those parents of those kids need a swift kick to bring them back to reality.

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Lack of parenting.I was brought up with respect and i never spoke to anyone like that.Not because my parents would have something tio say(big time)but because i had enough respect and decency as a young girl to not want to speak like that.I teach my daughters the same.I have gotten so much wonderful comments from family and strangers on how refreshing it is to see two small children with such a great deal of manners and respect.I am pride of that.You can go along way in life with just respect, decency and good manners.More parents need to teach this.It cost nothing to teach your child the most important things the need to learn, its simple to do..time is all you need.

Don't just teach them, you also need to live it..lead by example.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 02/18/2011

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If my child ever acted like this, I would hope someone would inform me so I could deal with it properly. Kids are good at hiding stuff from parents, and don't think they will get caught. Sometimes you raise them right, and they still act like little shitheads.

Sharon - posted on 02/18/2011

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Yes I think parents are lazy when it comes to respect. Its that entitlement thing again. Their kids are entitled to be free - utterly 100% free unless its pisses their parents off.

Bonnie - posted on 02/18/2011

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I would say it is lack of parenting or lack of control of their children. Maybe the parents are not around enough as well.

Jenni - posted on 02/18/2011

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Unfortunately there are plenty of parents who are indifferent to their children and their behaviour. It's sad really.

Danielle - posted on 02/18/2011

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I know as a child I was taught to ALWAYS respect my "elders" you didn't talk out of turn, you said yes mam and no mam and if someone told you to do something you did it. No questions asked. Don't get me wrong, as a teenager I was a smart ass (still am at times lol)..especially to my mom but I learned quick to watch myself or to duck one. She wasn't past popping my jaw for smarting off. I'm not condoning slapping your child but there are other ways to correct the behavior. My four yr old has a bad smart mouth and I work everyday to teach her respect..if Paris can learn it ANYBODY can lol.

Jenni - posted on 02/18/2011

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Ignorance. Some people just don't have the tools to parent properly. They've always existed and they always will exist. The only thing we can do as parents is handle the situation maturely and provide our own children with the tools to handle bullies.

This girl's identity should have been protected. It can turn into a very dangereous situation to be known as a whistle blower.

A friend of mine was scapgoated as a whistle blower in HS. She was beat up numerous times, had griffiti written about her, and one girl even tried to throw a brick at her. She inevitable had to switch schools. I personally feel because there were so many people after her and it would have been a her word against them. Calling the police would have only made matters worse. Especially since they're minors and would have just gotten a slap on the wrist. However, they should have been called after she moved.

Melissa - posted on 02/18/2011

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@ Tracey my mum is the opposite shes uptight classy all about image definately never spoke like I did, except to us kids

Sneaky - posted on 02/18/2011

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Yep and they are not only lazy in teaching respect and manners, they usually fail to have any themselves :o(

Melissa - posted on 02/18/2011

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I spoke like that at 13. I guess it must have been due to my parenting since I see other people kids who are much different but when I look back on my diaries from 12-14 the language is pretty bad name calling people mainly. I dont think its ok though.I hope my girls wont turn out like that

Nikki - posted on 02/18/2011

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Lack of parenting. Some parents just don't care, they are busy in their own little world's. It's sad and scary, how the hell are these kids going to handle the real world when they become adults.

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