who does this?? just venting.

Tara - posted on 12/19/2010 ( 55 moms have responded )

2,567

14

114

So apparently Steve's ex never changed her banking information over 2 years ago when they split.
She had all her GST rebate checks and the new HST (Canadian and Ontario tax rebates which are paid quarterly) checks going into one of Steve's savings accounts. This account is never really looked at, it's savings, his tax rebates go in there, and a portion from our chequing account each week etc. but we don't have anything coming out of it at all, and never really check the balance etc. it's savings and we want to keep it that way, so we let it sit there idly in the background of our lives like a little safety net. :)

So she calls on Friday night at 10 o'clock during what was supposed to be my birthday bash (another story altogether) and she's drunk. She says we owe her $1600 because of the fact her money has been going into his account. She then says "I have no Christmas presents under the tree, I'm going to lose my house, I'm so fucked by this, you need to give me $500 on Monday, $500 next Monday and $600 the following Monday.

This woman has 3 18 year olds living with her (2 are hers, 1 is the girlfriend) a 17 year old who is actually in school, and her boyfriend, she works part time, no one else does. The son and gf are on welfare paying her some money for rent each month.

Our attitude is we will pay it to her quarterly when we get our own rebates, that's how it ended up in our account and that's how it will get back to her.

Who the fuck splits from a partner, doesn't change their banking info with the government and then doesn't notice for 2 years that she's not getting her money??? And then has the nerve to say I want it now. She is also an alcoholic, as are her kids and lover.
Steve has always maintained a civil relationship with her, cause he's nice. But this is redonkulous!!!!!!
Anyhow just venting, I know I"m right and she is a classic fucktard. But I honestly can't believe how fucking stupid she is.

That is all. Breathing deeply.......

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Amie - posted on 12/19/2010

6,596

20

412

I'm sorry but that is really petty. You won't be losing interest, since it's not your money really.



On the other side, you two could also be considered the stupid ones for not keeping track of your own finances. It's a savings account but of the savings accounts, investments, checking, etc. that my husband and I have we know what is in every single one of them. We pay attention to each one, each month. That way nothing comes out of nowhere where we owe money somewhere.



Just give her the money. You're not losing interest, except for the interest you'd make off her money. I'm thinking your dislike for her is colouring your opinion on the matter.

Lindsay - posted on 12/19/2010

3,532

26

267

It's her money. She should have noticed. He should have noticed. The only HONEST thing to do would be to return her money to her. Why would you make her wait quarterly when she was already supposed to have gotten it?? That makes no sense to me. Regardless of what she chooses to do with it, it's hers and that's her call.

Isobel - posted on 12/19/2010

9,849

0

286

I'm confused in one sentence you say you are going to withhold HER money, and in the next you say you are going to hand it all over to somebody else in one big lump sum? Which is it? And yeah, you are.

Rosie - posted on 12/19/2010

8,657

30

321

i'm still not understanding why you think you are entitled to HER money. she's lazy and a druggy, so you get to keep her money? pretty crappy if you ask me.

55 Comments

View replies by

Tara - posted on 12/21/2010

2,567

14

114

It's okay Amanda, it takes a helluva a lot more to ruffle my feathers than a bunch of women being honest with me when I needed it.
It's all good.
Thanks for coming to my defense though!

Amanda - posted on 12/21/2010

74

16

8

Did anybody read the part where she said "Just Venting" not "please judge and criticize me and call me names" sheesh.........

Tara - posted on 12/20/2010

2,567

14

114

OMG, it gets better.

And lol@ Tah. And thanks for the voices of reason, even yours Laura? lol again.

So.... it turns out.... that she was getting her money!! She just didn't get the last two cheques because she owed back taxes so they took her last two cheques. She was re-assessed last year and they had to do adjustments, they sent her the first cheques in June (hst) and July (GST) but nothing in Oct or Dec. She spent it all and didn't even know it had been there.

And now she thinks the government owes her $1600!!!

She is whacked and hopefully out of our life.

Next time I talk to the oldest boy I am suggesting he seek power over her finances at least.

She's nuttier than a squirrels fart (stolen from some one on DM a few days ago!! Love it!)

:)Tara

Sorry again for coming across as Scroogey McScrooge.

Tis the season!!!

Amie - posted on 12/20/2010

6,596

20

412

Tara,

My god. I would seriously suggest, the next time she calls. See if you can convince her to let her son take over power of attorney. Then he can deal with all her finances in a legit way. He could then call revenue canada and find out exactly where all her money is going then. =/

Bonnie - posted on 12/20/2010

4,813

22

262

I think it is ridiculous of his ex for not wondering sooner where the money was going. It was nice while it lasted of you having the extra money, but if it were me going through this, I would probably just give it all to her now to get it over with and not have to deal with it again.
I am a little confused about the situation though. If this money is going into Steve's account all this time and while they were together, shouldn't Steve be entitled to half of it be it is a family rabate?

Tah - posted on 12/20/2010

7,412

22

400

our motto..

"DM CHANGING MINDS ACROSS THE WORLD ONE POST AT A TIME" lmbbo...

Dana - posted on 12/20/2010

11,264

35

495

Well, I'm glad to see you're going to give her all the money. It's best to do it, be done with it and then you can all move on.



*edited to add* I just read your earlier post...

Tara - posted on 12/20/2010

2,567

14

114

He said it was in there.
It was actually his rebates, one for him, one for his small business. He 'forgot' he was finally getting a gst rebate since up until last year, he didn't qualify cause he didn't make enough to charge GST therefore didn't make enough to get a bus. rebate.
And just so everyone knows I'm not a rock and can't change my mind, after thinking about what all of you said yesterday, I woke up with the realization that you are all right, and it's not ours to dole out quarterly, and neither is the interest. So we were planning to give it to her today!!! Until we found out she was just as fucking stupid as we thought. So... people can change their minds and sometimes it takes a bunch of strangers to make you see the other side of things.
And to update further, she just called again drunk already and it's 10 am. She is now wanting us to call her ex and demand he pay her. She thinks I "talk better about this kinda shit".
So sorry, but no.

Isobel - posted on 12/20/2010

9,849

0

286

then why did you say the money was in there before checking?

Tara - posted on 12/20/2010

2,567

14

114

First, her name is not on the account at all, it is all his.
Second, we just got off the phone with the bank and the government and apparently she is a fucking liar.
No way this money went into our account, now she thinks it might have gone into her "other" ex's account.
LOL.
And he has moved across the country.
She is a fucktard, I said it before and I'll say it again....
What a fucktard.
Even her son thinks so.

Desiree - posted on 12/19/2010

910

17

13

There always seems to be one of those every single year. Its dishonest to keep something that doesn't belong to you. And then only pay it back in instalment makes me think that someone may not be telling the whole story because you won't be pay back the interest just the money that was deposited that's also dishonest. It's not yours or your partner's money and she can give it the moon if she wants to it none of your afair.

Vegemite - posted on 12/19/2010

916

0

17

i'd want to see proof that the money went in there. If she can't give you that I wouldn't give her a cent. She might just be trying to pull one over you because she's spent all her money on who knows what instead of living expenses and now she hasn't got what she needs.

If you get proof that the money did go into that account the right thing to do would be hand it over all in one go. If the account hasn't been touched then it should all be there. It's not your responsibility to make sure she spends it on what she says she needs it for so you shouldn't feel responsible or guilty if she just "drinks" it.

Stifler's - posted on 12/19/2010

15,141

154

604

if she's on the account doesn't that mean she has access to the account?

Isobel - posted on 12/19/2010

9,849

0

286

why would you want to punch her in the mouth for donating all the interest from her money into his account? And I'm pretty sure if she took him to small claims she would win, AND the judge would NOT order that it be paid in chunks...that's ridiculous.

[deleted account]

Actually he is and she may have gone about it in a really fucked up way but that doesn't mean they have any right to keep it from her. This is a civil issue and as long as she has proof that her money went in the account and nobody has proof to say otherwise its a no brainer.
Also maybe this is a good lesson in managing accounts. You should always check your bank statements:) If the account was checked periodically to make sure everything was in order he should have notice the deposits.

Doreen - posted on 12/19/2010

75

22

0

Don't choose what she should and shoudn't do with her money... if she wants to burn it she can do that too the point is and I think is coming out loud and clear. It is her money and if there is money to give it back then get it to her as soon as possible. Get that problem out of your life and make sure she gets off that account.

Caitlin - posted on 12/19/2010

1,915

5

172

Sure, it was kind of stupid that she didn't notice thisbefore but it all comes down to IT'S NOT YOUR MONEY! I don't care if it's been sitting there for 2 months, 2 years or 10 years, it's not yours, it's still there, so fork it over! Who cares what she does with it? Sure, she should be using it for the kids and gifts and such, but she'll probably drink it - not your problem, chances are she drank the quarterly payments too, so no difference there.

Fork over her cash and say good ridance to bad rubbish, and if your cranky about the fact you lent her money for her mortgage or whatever, take that off of the amount to cover it if it was given as a loan.. if it was given as a gift or STFU money, than that's your problem. Her money, not yours...

Isobel - posted on 12/19/2010

9,849

0

286

I mean it...I'm all warm and fuzzy inside right now...Merry Christmas! or Happy Holidays XD

Amanda - posted on 12/19/2010

668

16

37

Wow...actually your husband or fiance is really not even liable to have to pay her anything!! It was her fault that she didn't change her shit over, so why the fuck should HE have to pay HER money that is in HIS account?!!?!?! What did the bank say about this?!?! If she's not on it than she has no say...but if she is than she should get the money the way it came in...in chunks. That bitch can't just call and DEMAND money from an account that she was obviously too stupid to take her damn name off! I don't blame you for being upset...I'd seriously wanna punch her in the mouth! Lol...just breath...what goes around comes around! :)

[deleted account]

I hate to say it but when you split it's both peoples responsibility to make sure any bank accounts are settled. It's her money whether she wants to drink it away or not.

Jess - posted on 12/19/2010

1,806

3

97

I don't understand, if the money goes into the account that has no withdrawals the money must still be there. Why not get the records confirm the amounts and just give it all back in one go asap, to be done with it. Why on earth would you want to hold onto money that doesn't belong to you ? That just causes drama and if your husband and the ex share a child that just causes an issue that doesn't need to exist. I'm sorry I don't think your right, but she is defiantly a very stupid women. I love getting my tax rebate. I for one would know if it hadn't arrived in 2 years !

Isobel - posted on 12/19/2010

9,849

0

286

there's no excuse for keeping somebody else's money (that you HAVE in the bank)...it's spiteful and mean. I don't care how stupid she is.

Stifler's - posted on 12/19/2010

15,141

154

604

I think if I were that stupid I wouldn't expect to see my money ever but it IS her money.

C. - posted on 12/19/2010

4,125

35

242

I wouldn't be paying her a dime in that time frame. It's not your fault that she doesn't know how to change her information so it goes into HER account! TWO YEARS?? I mean, come on, people! That is more than enough time to change your information.. There's no excuse.

Stifler's - posted on 12/19/2010

15,141

154

604

Oh my gosh what a tard. Even if I was rich I'd still want to know where my tax rebates were going bahaha and track them down. Long before 2 years went by!!

[deleted account]

Why didn't Steve get her off the account over 2 years ago? It's just as much his blunder as it is hers. Anyway, as much as I'd like to keep the money (hey, I can admit it) it would be wrong and SHE should be given the lump sum of her money as soon as it can be gotten out (so Monday). As much as it sucks what she would do w/ the money.... it's her life and her business. I could understand the hesitation if any of the kids were Steve's, but they aren't.

Sorry.

Carolyn - posted on 12/19/2010

898

19

140

oh well in an earlier post, ALL her kids were alcoholics.... lover too...guess that tune changed....

Amie - posted on 12/19/2010

6,596

20

412

No, she said it's the one son who has actually made a life for himself.

Which still isn't right in my eyes unless he has power of attorney.

Isobel - posted on 12/19/2010

9,849

0

286

shit...I was hoping nobody would remind her of that...now they're probably gonna keep the money again.

Carolyn - posted on 12/19/2010

898

19

140

well according to the OP all her kids are alcoholics, so why are you giving the money to another acoholic but no to her ? its doesnt make sense. He could go blow just as easily as she could.

either way , it is not your money, you should return it to its rightfull owner, the ex, not her kids , not anyone else. the deposits were not made in their names, hers. give her the money back , that way if she has no xmas and loses her house, its on her head, and noone elses.

if someone had my money,. and just gave it to someone else, id bust some knee caps.

Tah - posted on 12/19/2010

7,412

22

400

Let her drink it up, it's hers and just be glad to not to have to deal with her or it anymore..o and make sure she comes off the account...

Rosie - posted on 12/19/2010

8,657

30

321

i guess that's a bit better if you are giving it to her kid, but seriously tara holding someones money hostage is just wrong. just because you don't agree with her lifestyle doesn't give you the right to withhold her money from her. i don't understand that way of thinking. even if she did drink it away how is that any of your business? why do you feel you have some claim over how this woman spends her money?

Amie - posted on 12/19/2010

6,596

20

412

Doesn't matter what she would really do with it, it's still not your money.

Tara - posted on 12/19/2010

2,567

14

114

Actually it's not my choice anyways, it's his, it's his account.

And I'm not keeping her money Kati, he will give it to her quarterly when his also goes into his account.
I don't get to keep her money, and just as an aside, her son just called and asked if we could pay it to him in one lump sum as he is now handling he bills. (this is the only son who has moved out and started a life for himself).
No problem.
We'll get it for HIM on monday, She would just drink it away anyhow ( his words )
She would still lose the house, and the kids would still not have Christmas if we gave it to her, but she would be very very merry and very very drunk if we did.
So... everyone wins, she gets her bills paid, keeps her house, and we aren't the assholes you all think we are. lol
You would really have to know this situation to understand our side of this.

Dana - posted on 12/19/2010

11,264

35

495

Yeah, I've got to agree with Laura and Amie, here. You've got $5,000 in your account and $1,600 of it is hers, then give it to her, it's not like it's leaving you broke...and if it was, it's her money anyways, it was never yours.

[deleted account]

Well at least your doing the honest thing and giving it back to her. Seriously though, i am low income and when i get my gst im waiting for it..I know the day and the amount its coming because I need it for something important. I dont get how someone who is low income doesn't notice money not coming to them or wonder where its going.

Tara - posted on 12/19/2010

2,567

14

114

She is not the mother of his children. They have never had kids, he was the step dad to her kids. She cheated and he left her almost 3 years ago.
I'm not about to hand her $1600 out of a savings account that only has about $5000 in it because she is a retard. She isn't low income by accident, she chooses to skip work and drink her pay cheque and her kids welfare cheque. They choose not work or go to school, she supports their drinking and drug habits.
She can wait and get it back quarterly the way it came in, that way as it goes out, ours goes in and we don't lose our interest that has accumulated. We could keep the money if we wanted, no small claims court would touch it. They would tell her "sorry we don't litigate stupid".
Oh and the boyfriend she has now is the father of her sons girlfriend, he's a drug dealer and a drunk too.
He recently drank away her pay cheque and we forked over a couple of hundred bucks to help her with her mortgage.
So forget it, she can get hers quarterly and hopefully she doesn't drink it all away.

Isobel - posted on 12/19/2010

9,849

0

286

they've actually gained a lot of interest by having the money in their account when it didn't belong there...they're up not down...give her her money Scrooge McDuck...even though she's a stupid idiot...it's Christmas and she is the mother of his children.

[deleted account]

That is pretty stupid. If your low income like you said she is, you are very aware when money is suppose to come in. sheesh...You would probably lose interest or something if you take if out of your account. right?

Rosie - posted on 12/19/2010

8,657

30

321

i agree it's a colossal blunder, but if it's her money, i don't understand keeping it?

Isobel - posted on 12/19/2010

9,849

0

286

yeah she's stupid...but why exactly (if the money is there anyways) don't you just give it to her?

Katherine - posted on 12/19/2010

65,420

232

5195

That's messed up! That is HER fault and you can keep it I belive. Why would she do something so stupid? How long have they been broken up?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms