Who's to blame?

*Lisa* - posted on 08/05/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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After reading a few posts and the news lately I've started wondering 'what makes a teenager commit heinous acts'? I just read of a 14 year old girl throwing a 7 month baby in front of a bus (not even her child), 10 year old boys torturing and murdering a two year old (old story), 15 year old boy molesting his 3 year old sister...
What makes a child like this?? Is it parents?? Are they born with strange tendencies or evil streaks?? Too much violence on TV?? Too much watching porn (in the case of the boy who molested his sister)...
What do you think??

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Julie - posted on 08/06/2010

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I think it may be more media. I think heinous crimes have been committed in the past by children, but no one talked about it. People in the next region over never heard about it.



As for why, I think mental illness plays a big role. I have been there and you'd be amazed at what thoughts find their way into your head and seem "normal" to you at the time. Luckily, I've not acted on any that were too harmful to anyone but myself.



TV, I think is easy to blame, but I think it just allows for more ... creativity ... when heinous acts are committed, though it doesn't actually CAUSE it.



I'm not sure it is a real increase, we are just more aware of it. Plus, there are WAY more people on the earth now that even just 20 years ago.

Krista - posted on 08/06/2010

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I think that people like this are basically due to a combination of factors. Not all children who are neglected become sociopaths. Not all children who watch violent TV become violent.

I think what you have is people who are born with that tendency, and they have an innate lack of empathy. It then becomes exacerbated by external factors. I think the key, as parents, is to keep our eyes open and not fall into denial if we do see our kids displaying anti-social or disturbing behaviour. Get them the help they need before they DO hurt someone.

Tara - posted on 08/06/2010

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Lack of emotional intelligence. Children are not being taught how to pay attention to, manage and regulate their emotions. It is not simply the presence of violence, porn, tv, movies, lack of parental attention/control etc. it is the also the absence of a structured way for kids to learn about their own emotional growth. Emotional intelligence is more important now than ever before.
The addition of all the negative influences in the life of a child with little to no emotional intelligence will be far more detrimental than it would be to a child who has a strong understanding and awareness of emotional health.
See my post on emotional intelligence.
The world needs to change how we deal with people. Our whole lives are ruled by emotions. It is how we learn to deal with them that makes the difference.

Becky - posted on 08/05/2010

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While I certainly do think it's a combination of factors, I do think the majority of the blame goes to the parents. Sociopathology usually develops as a result of poor attachments, which is a result of abuse, neglect, and otherwise poor parenting.
Sure, there are times when wonderful parents produce screw-up kids, but I would be willing to bet that if you dug into the history of pretty much any serial killer, you would find that they were abused and/or neglected as children.

Tah - posted on 08/05/2010

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i think it may be a combo..upgraded..look at the games they play, the shows they watch..people don't die..some mental illness is inherited...some parents dont care, they see their children torturing the cat and say its okay..he's young...then when the cat disappears he ran away..no junior killed him and buried the head in the back yard...if a teenager is having thoughts about children...his siblings to be exact..do you really think he will be coming to you to say so..highly doubt it..it probably scared him, he's scared of your reaction..he feels dirty..but he acts on it..like the mom said..when he admitted it to her, she felt sick all over...even if they are watching lots of porn..i would hope it's not kiddie..i dont know what went wrong in that case since he was an athelte, well known and likes, pretty sure he could have found a girl his age to experiement with...and if they are having unnatural urges to kill, molest, rape, etc...adding these video games, shows and all these new freedoms that children have now to the mix is not gonna help things..i pray for my children daily...It gives me a sense of peace, i talk to them....i let them know that they can talk to me about anything...yes there are consequences to your actions..some children don't have to ever face consequences so they are in shock when they are caught and in handcuffs....It's a sad world when these are the things that our children are doing..smh...alot..

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