Why do young mum's have such a problem with older mum's????????

Rachel - posted on 08/17/2009 ( 33 moms have responded )

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I'm only 27 and yet i class myself as old...lol. I dont understand why all the young mothers get so offended by an older mother and her advice, seriously with age comes knowledge and with knowledge you become better at whatever your job is, and that can only benefit your children. Age does not matter when it comes to being a parent but knowledge can be very useful to any parent of any age, it's a known fact that we learn something new everyday NO MATTER HOW OLD WE ARE. Now for the older woman having their first child later in life they can learn new things from younger mums who have been a mother for longer and vice versa, so why is there a need to seperate mothers into an age catagory?????? What does age have to do with how good of a parent you are??????? In my job i have seen a lot of older mothers who have no idea how to be a parent but then i have seen more younger mothers that have no idea either, but yet for some reason we all catagorise young mothers as not knowing everything and older mothers who are no it all's. I suppose my actual question would be why do young mothers have so many problems with the older mothers and why do the older mothers have so many problems with the younger mothers??????? And what can we do to make everybody see that we are all mothers who love our children and who are all trying to raise our children the best we can?????

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~Jennifer - posted on 08/17/2009

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Before I 'go' there...let me say that I'm 37 now ....my first 'viable' child was born when I was 35 yrs old.



The only issue I tend to have with younger moms is that they can't seem to understand that I'm "over it". I've been there, done that, bought the tee-shirt.......that part of my life is done. Door closed. When I hear , " I wish I had '_____' before I had the baby " . well sorry, I already did.....so, I'm sorry but.... I can't find the sympathy for your 'issues'.



I believe that when we become parents, we should expect to relinquish the " I want to's". It's not about you anymore....you don't GET to do it now.....now you have to wait. You have a child to take care of.



I don't think that age has anything to do with 'parenting skills'....but I do think that if you haven't completed all your juvenile bullshit before you have kids, that you'll resent being a parent at some point for the "what if I had"s or the "what if I hadn't" 's down the line.

[deleted account]

Rachel, Since I can't reply with quote on myeslf, I copied and pasted my answer from yesterday to explain why sometimes it's ok to categorize mothers by age. Of course we all love our children and of course we all only want what's best for them and of course the learning goes both ways. But our experiences can be somewhat different because of our age and that's why. Sometimes someone like me, who became a first time mom at an "older" age, needs to talk to someone who has shared experiences. Sometimes a mom who had her kids young, may not get the advice she needs from anyone other than another woman who had her kids young. I hope I'm explaining this right. Here's my post from yesterday:



You

yesterday, 8:30 pm As an "older" mom and as an admin on a group on CoM for "Older" first time moms.....I'd like to say that I've never heard an older mom say that they are better than anyone. The reason I started the group I did, is because as a woman who got started a little later than most, I have a different perspective on motherhood than say, someone who started in their early or mid twenties. That's not me saying I'm better, it's just a fact that my experience as a mother is different than a younger mom's....not solely because of the age, but partly because of it, and sometimes it's nice to talk with someone who has felt the same way. An example is that for a younger mom, she never gets to know her life any differently than that of being a mother (and there's nothing wrong with that). For someone like me, who didn't have a baby until I was 36, I lived the majority of my time on earth going and doing and seeing whatever I wanted, without having to arrange babysitters and the normal "mom" stuff. There's nothing wrong with that either. And just to clarify, for myself at least, becoming a mother in my late 30's was not something I planned. I desperately wanted children from a young age but this is the hand life dealt me. So, I just wanted to make sure that you know that I, as an older mom, do not look down on or judge a young mother. And you're right....we could all learn something from each other.

Lindsay - posted on 08/18/2009

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I don't put a lot of emphasis on age either. I'm only 23 and have a 4 year old and a 3 year old. I feel like I'm a good mother to them but would never claim to be perfect or have all of the answers. One of my dearest friends is 39 and had her son later in life. I don't care if you are 18 or 38 when you have your first child, you go through a lot of the same things. What it really boils down to is that if you are willing to put your children before yourself, you will be a good mother. There are young moms that aren't so great and older ones as well. Parenting is a trial and error job. I believe that every great mother, young or old, does what they believe is best for their family. At the end of the day what matters most is that your children are happy, healthy, safe, and loved. Once those things are accomplished, you know you are doing something right! =)

Esther - posted on 08/18/2009

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Quoting Jenn:

[ ] The only issue I tend to have with younger moms is that they can't seem to understand that I'm "over it". I've been there, done that, bought the tee-shirt.......that part of my life is done. Door closed. When I hear , " I wish I had '_____' before I had the baby " . well sorry, I already did.....so, I'm sorry but.... I can't find the sympathy for your 'issues'.

I believe that when we become parents, we should expect to relinquish the " I want to's". It's not about you anymore....you don't GET to do it now.....now you have to wait. You have a child to take care of. [ ]



I'm with Jenn on this one. I had my one and only at the ripe old age of 34 and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way personally. I have come to know some amazing young moms and they are doing a fabulous job, much better than I could have at their age. However, I do think a lot of young moms lack the maturity it takes to do the job. It's kind of like women who only fantasize about the wedding, but not the marriage. They fantasize about the cute little baby & the adorable outfits they can put them in, but not the hard work and the responsibility that comes along with it.

Sharon - posted on 08/17/2009

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I think a lot of the young moms are immature. They're acting like teenagers, which some of them are. Irrational, no logic, very sad. PLEASE notice I said "a lot" not "all".



and um some of us "old" mums come across as self righteous bitches who know it all!

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Kimberly - posted on 08/21/2009

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This is one of those things that drive me crazy. I am a young mom and had my son when I was 17, 2 months before my 18th birthday. People have given me looks, told me straight out that I don't know what I am doing and I have also had people tell me I am an amazing mother. I don't think age matters at all and as long and you are properly caring for your child and not constantly pawning them off then who cares when your birthday is. Young or old everyones journey to motherhood is different because everyone is different. Just because you are older doesn't mean anything. Some older people that have a child are no more prepared than a 16 year old and some young people are as prepared as you can be. It all depends on peoples maturity, views on life and their circumstances, which are all different. I have judged people before but it was not on their age. I would never say anything even if I didn't agree with what they were doing because everyone raises their children differently and is entitled to do that without me butting in. People are always going to judge and categorize no matter what you say or do. Everyone can always learn more no matter what the age or stage in life and no one is a perfect parent.

Katarina - posted on 08/20/2009

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and may I add. If anyone has a problem with the way you're raising your child,who cares. and being a "young" mom if someone sees you as inexperienced or inmature, who cares. I was raised around kids and have an 8 year old sister. Granted some things I had and am still having to learn but I had the basics and feel I'm raising my son to the best of my ability. He's happy,healthy and striving. Although there are some young moms that aren't ready to be parents. Those that spend more time out with friends,drinking,doing drugs and "pawning their child off" to family and friends.

Katarina - posted on 08/20/2009

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I think it depends on how young we're talking about here. I'm 21 and just had my first son but i'm constantly phoning my mom or mil to ask for advice. On COM I take everyone's advice and choose what works best for me. Young or "old" mothers all have something to learn from one another. I've also had an older mom call me recently and had no idea what to do in her situation. Everyone experiences motherhood differently. As a lot of moms have said MATURITY has a lot to do with it. But I have noticed that SOME older moms take the way I raise my child as "wrong" and don't agree with some of the choices made.i.e not putting rice cereal in his bottle, and not letting him cio. I've also had some grandmotherly types,strangers if I may add, tell me how to feed,diaper or cover my son. I tihnk everyones advice young or "old" should only be taken with a grain of salt and do what you feel is right for your child,even if no one else agrees.

Tracy - posted on 08/19/2009

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I have two sisters. My youngest sister had her first child when she was 17 and myself and my older sister had our first child in our 30's. Although we share our experiences as mothers, our perceptions and where we are in life are very different. When my youngest sister had her child she was just starting out on her own and my older sister and I where already estabilished. I think it was harder in some ways for my younger sister as she had to strive for things we already had and return to work sooner than we did.

I can understand what Joy is saying. However, It does not mean that you don't respect or appreciate younger mothers experiences/advice, its just our journey to motherhood is different.

Rachel - posted on 08/19/2009

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Quoting Joy :

Rachel, Since I can't reply with quote on myeslf, I copied and pasted my answer from yesterday to explain why sometimes it's ok to categorize mothers by age. Of course we all love our children and of course we all only want what's best for them and of course the learning goes both ways. But our experiences can be somewhat different because of our age and that's why. Sometimes someone like me, who became a first time mom at an "older" age, needs to talk to someone who has shared experiences. Sometimes a mom who had her kids young, may not get the advice she needs from anyone other than another woman who had her kids young. I hope I'm explaining this right. Here's my post from yesterday:

You
yesterday, 8:30 pm As an "older" mom and as an admin on a group on CoM for "Older" first time moms.....I'd like to say that I've never heard an older mom say that they are better than anyone. The reason I started the group I did, is because as a woman who got started a little later than most, I have a different perspective on motherhood than say, someone who started in their early or mid twenties. That's not me saying I'm better, it's just a fact that my experience as a mother is different than a younger mom's....not solely because of the age, but partly because of it, and sometimes it's nice to talk with someone who has felt the same way. An example is that for a younger mom, she never gets to know her life any differently than that of being a mother (and there's nothing wrong with that). For someone like me, who didn't have a baby until I was 36, I lived the majority of my time on earth going and doing and seeing whatever I wanted, without having to arrange babysitters and the normal "mom" stuff. There's nothing wrong with that either. And just to clarify, for myself at least, becoming a mother in my late 30's was not something I planned. I desperately wanted children from a young age but this is the hand life dealt me. So, I just wanted to make sure that you know that I, as an older mom, do not look down on or judge a young mother. And you're right....we could all learn something from each other.


Hey joy, thank you for posting this as i had not been able to read all of the posts from yetserday, this does help me realise why people catagorise , i just still feel like it's a pointless exercise, weather you had your child at 16 or 36(like you did) we are still mothers who are trying our best and if we can get that advice from someone younger with more experience, or someone older with more experience then why is there a need to catagorise??? I no i have learnt new things from younger mothers and a lot of them have been around 17-21 and they are the young girls that i work with, they have taught me that at 17-21 your not quite mature enough to handle every situation that may arise, but they have also taught me that you never say die you keep going and going until something works, this has taught me that the young ones have a lot of fight in them, and i have learnt a lot from older mothers who yes dare i say it, have a lot more life experience then i do, i have learnt that older mothers are very useful they can teach us how to have more patience with our children, and also they no a lot more of the old wives tails that actually work and i do have to say it a lot of older mothers dont loose their temper as much as what the young ones do, i'm not saying that all of the young mothers are like this or that all the older mothers are like this, i'm just giving an example of what i have learnt from both older and younger mums. I just think that all of us mum's go thro a point where we feel like we are the only one who has been thro this and that and we've tried everything but then we get that one piece of advice that actually works and who cares where it came from weather it was from the 16 yr old or the 36 yr old as long as it works for us, age does'nt matter.

Rachel - posted on 08/19/2009

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Quoting Chantel:

This is another thing that goes both ways though. You are upset about "younger moms" having a problem with "older moms". First of all I think that goes on an individual basis. Not all young moms are like that. Secondly. it can be reversed. How many times has someone said to someone else that they don't know what they're doing because they're young or something to that effect? We could post the same question as " Why do Older moms have such a problem with young moms?" I have no problems either way. Advice is advice to me and usually I go by my own mother's advice anyway. (or my doctor obviously, lol)



Yes it does go both ways and thats why the actual question was why do young mothers have so many problems with older mothers and why do older mothers have so many problems with younger mums???? I think i also asked  what can we do to make everybody see that we are all mothers who love our children and who are all trying tp raise our children the best we can??? I did not say that i was upset about younger mum's having a problem with older mum's at all as this was not the point of the post, i dont have any issues with older or younger mum's at all. Now i also asked the questions ,Why is there a need to seperate  mothers into an age catagory????? and What does age have to do with how good of a parent you are???? I also stated that the older first time mum's can learn new things from a younger mum who has been a mother for longer and VICE VERSA.



Now this is not a debate of weather younger or older is best, it's a debate about why we catagorise mothers into an age group, we are all mothers who love our children and only want the best for them as i have said on a number of occassions that i dont care what age the person is that is giving me advice if sounds like good advice then i'll take that advice and try it because to me parenting is all about trial and error. Oh i take the advice of my doc to....sometimes...lol.

Chantel - posted on 08/19/2009

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This is another thing that goes both ways though. You are upset about "younger moms" having a problem with "older moms". First of all I think that goes on an individual basis. Not all young moms are like that. Secondly. it can be reversed. How many times has someone said to someone else that they don't know what they're doing because they're young or something to that effect? We could post the same question as " Why do Older moms have such a problem with young moms?" I have no problems either way. Advice is advice to me and usually I go by my own mother's advice anyway. (or my doctor obviously, lol)

[deleted account]

IMO- "Older" moms are wiser the majority of the time. They have had a few more years of life to experience and gain knowledge. I always check in with my "older" mom friends for advice!

Konda - posted on 08/18/2009

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You know people who put down on Moms that say, "I've had it, I cant take anymore"...are hypocrites, I don't know any mother that hasn't just had a day when they sit down and just cry. Being a mother is the most rewarding incredible thing I have ever done, but let's face it, it is hard at times. We are not perfect and our kids are not either, there will be days when we clash and just want Calgon to take us away.



As for those that say the get tired of hearing "I wish I could have...", not everyone had the chance to wait on kids, yes I know we all make decisions, I had my first at 36 and my second two months ago at 39...but due to depression and a lot of hardships in my life, I missed out on my teen years and my 'find me' years, so yes sometimes I think, "I wish I could have...". Then again, last "Girl's Night Out", we got a tattoo, so I guess it is never to late.



I try not to judge other moms, of course I am human and I often do.....but I can say I have had to eat a lot of humble pie in my three years as a mother....

[deleted account]

As an "older" mom and as an admin on a group on CoM for "Older" first time moms.....I'd like to say that I've never heard an older mom say that they are better than anyone. The reason I started the group I did, is because as a woman who got started a little later than most, I have a different perspective on motherhood than say, someone who started in their early or mid twenties. That's not me saying I'm better, it's just a fact that my experience as a mother is different than a younger mom's....not solely because of the age, but partly because of it, and sometimes it's nice to talk with someone who has felt the same way. An example is that for a younger mom, she never gets to know her life any differently than that of being a mother (and there's nothing wrong with that). For someone like me, who didn't have a baby until I was 36, I lived the majority of my time on earth going and doing and seeing whatever I wanted, without having to arrange babysitters and the normal "mom" stuff. There's nothing wrong with that either. And just to clarify, for myself at least, becoming a mother in my late 30's was not something I planned. I desperately wanted children from a young age but this is the hand life dealt me. So, I just wanted to make sure that you know that I, as an older mom, do not look down on or judge a young mother. And you're right....we could all learn something from each other.

Rachel - posted on 08/18/2009

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I would just like to say thanx guys for making this an exciting debate, however i think were all on the same page because i agree with parts of all the posts on here. I was talking to one of the young mothers that i work with yesterday arvo about a feeding problem that she has with her 3week old son and he's her first, she came in and said that she'd had enough and could'nt do it anymore, she wanted someone to take him for a bit because she could'nt handle the crying from him being hungry and not latching onto the breast properly, now i know we have all had days like this but i honestly cant remember one where i just gave up like she did and said it was too hard, now i have heard a lot of the younger first time mums that go through this but no where near as many older first time mums do go through this, now i think it's about maturity of the indiviual as i was 18 when i had my fisrt and believe me i was soo inmature,but i never ever gave up on myself or my sun and well i grew up rather quickly when i had to pay for rent, food, bills, etc and still have enough money left over for medical costs if he needed it that week, and i also had to keep the house clean cause i was the mum now and i did'nt have my mum there to do it for me. ( i'd never worried about having to clean my mum was always around). The hardest part of being a mum so young is that sometimes they just dont have the patience to deal with a new born and i would have to say it's the same thing for older mothers, but it's a common known fact that the older we get the more patient we become, i know it's been very true for me, when i first became a mum i used to loose my patience at least once a week but as i got older i find that i dont loose my patience as quick as what i used to, if i loose my patience at all. Young and older mums are superior, so lets not forget that, and try to keep the generalising of people, ages, and so on out of life, because there are allways exceptions to every rule.

Heidi - posted on 08/18/2009

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I think they get offended when an older mom gives advice, because they might feel like we as older moms are treating them like children. I don't get offended when a younger mom gives me advice, but I do have to wonder why a young mom seems to think they know everything. Not all young moms are like that, but there are some out there that seem to think just because they are a mom they know it all, but us as older moms have been around a lot longer and tend to have more life experience. I guess in reality its just how responsible you are as a mother. Whether you are young or old all that matters is you take care and love your children.

Sarah - posted on 08/18/2009

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Quoting Lindsay:

I don't put a lot of emphasis on age either. I'm only 23 and have a 4 year old and a 3 year old. I feel like I'm a good mother to them but would never claim to be perfect or have all of the answers. One of my dearest friends is 39 and had her son later in life. I don't care if you are 18 or 38 when you have your first child, you go through a lot of the same things. What it really boils down to is that if you are willing to put your children before yourself, you will be a good mother. There are young moms that aren't so great and older ones as well. Parenting is a trial and error job. I believe that every great mother, young or old, does what they believe is best for their family. At the end of the day what matters most is that your children are happy, healthy, safe, and loved. Once those things are accomplished, you know you are doing something right! =)


I was just going to write out my feelings on the matter.........but you've said EXACTLY what i thinking!



So there's no need! :)

Shelley - posted on 08/18/2009

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When I became pregnant at 22, I realized that everyone everywhere has a bit of advice for me. I was open to listen to all of it and decide on my own time whether or not it was valuable. B/c I had two very different babies at once, I needed options. For me, being a mother wasn't a natural sixth sense. I needed to be told many many things. After a few weeks, I learned a lot about my babies and it became much easier. Even now, with two toddlers, I don't pretend to know the 'correct' way to parent. I like to read parenting books and talk w others who have gone through it to figure out what I want to do. I know the same thing isn't going to work for both of my kids, so I appreciate the advice. However, I was not raised to respect my elders. I was raised to respect people who respect me, after of course giving them the benefit of the doubt and respect in the beginning. If, as Loureen states, people like to TELL me things as if they are above me, I will not pretend to appreciate it or hesitate to tell them so. I admire older moms b/c raising babies is A LOT of work. I'm tired. I feel like my body is being abused b/c I'm always doing something... Never resting. Lol. I can't imagine doing this at 40. Hell, I'll be 40 when my babies turn 18. I had a lot of fun before becoming pregnant. I've traveled and studied, and I look forward to altering the plans I have for the future to include my babies. I agree w Jenn 100% that it's not about me anymore, and I LOVE that it's about my babes. I can't imagine feeling any other way. Even my education is for them now! They are a very motivating factor in my continuing my education. Yes, it's probably something I should have finished before having babies, but I didn't. Now, I want to continue learning, continue traveling -- but in order to teach them the value of education and cultural diversity. Raising our children the best we can means different things to us all...

Sara - posted on 08/18/2009

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Honestly, I think it just highlights immaturity when you can't take someone's good intentions with a grain of salt if you don't agree. But to be perfectly honest, some of the stuff that I see on here from really young moms is so crazy sometimes. I don't think age makes a difference in what kind of parent you'll be, but if you're not prepared -- at any age -- to have a baby, you're going to be a crappy parent... just my opinion...

ME - posted on 08/18/2009

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I've known both older and younger moms who can't figure "it" out...I agree with Loureen...it has nothing to do with age. Selflessness is a quality you either have, or you don't. I've known 33 year old women who couldn't accept the need to quit smoking and eating burgerking 7 days a week, and I've known 21-24 year old moms who complained about their poor financial situation and the hard times to come while insisting they couldn't live without highlights and fake nails...

That said...if you are not a thoughtful, compassionate, reasonable, responsible person at 16-25, you may still have a chance to develop those qualities...if you still aren't capable of them by 35-40...well...time might be running out...at least during your child raising years...

Charlie - posted on 08/17/2009

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I have to say that the thing that annoys me and it's not just older mums but also young mums with kids older then yours , is when they " try " to give you advice in the
" oh i am so much more older and wiser than you " or " i have far more experience than you " tone ,
There are people who give you great advice in a respectable manner and then there are those who TELL you as if they are above you .
That shit's me !! I find being a mother natural , a sixth sense or instinct .
Whatever you want to call it , i have seen 16 year old mothers who know NOTHING and 50year old grandmothers who still know NOTHING .
On the flip side i have seen a 16 year old be an absolute natural mother and do the best job out there .
Then there are the people who waited and appreciate their child at 30 and dedicate themselves to their child .
What i am saying is being a good mother isn't an age issue , it's an issue of maturity and selflessness and that can come at any age .
Of course i love listening to those who are wise in all respects but I usually find the people who shit me are the ones who know nothing and insist on telling me how to raise my child .
I am smart enough to know which mothers know and which dont !!

Iris - posted on 08/17/2009

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I'm 37 and had my first at 27 and the second at 34. Like Krista, I consider myself 'in between', at least when I had my first.
I think it has everything to do with maturity and not so much with age. I know both younger and older moms who are doing an excellent job. When we have our first child, we're all new moms and the age doesn't matter, we're all learning. I think most of us are just trying to do the best we can.

Krista - posted on 08/17/2009

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I was thinking the same thing, Loureen!



I'm 28, had my son when I was 27, and I don't think I could be considered a "young" mom, but I don't feel like an old mom either. Guess I'm stuck in the middle!

Charlie - posted on 08/17/2009

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Define a young mum please !!! because i am 25 and consider myself young .

Melissa - posted on 08/17/2009

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I haven't heard anything negative about older mothers. Then again, a lot of young mothers complain about older people making rude comments to them, and I've never experienced that either. I had my first when I was 17, almost 18. I've been lucky enough to never see the stares or hear anything negative.



We all have one thing in common-we're moms. So I don't really understand the hate on either side. (Although, I don't advocate teen pregnancy.) There are good and bad mothers of all ages. Being a young mother myself, I really respect the women who wait until they're older. In my opinion, it's best. I've changed so much since I had my children and if I had it to do all over again, I would've done some things differently because I'm a different person now.



At the end of the day, we can all learn something from each other....no matter how old we were when we gave birth.

Sharon - posted on 08/17/2009

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We can! I find myself being a little more goofy with my kids in the park when I see the younger moms playing more rambunctiously - however I tell my kids to keep their cellphones on hand incase 911 is needed for when my hip goes out!

Rachel - posted on 08/17/2009

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Quoting Sharon:

I think a lot of the young moms are immature. They're acting like teenagers, which some of them are. Irrational, no logic, very sad. PLEASE notice I said "a lot" not "all".

and um some of us "old" mums come across as self righteous bitches who know it all!



I love reading your post's you have a very good way with words.....lol. I agree that a lot of young mums act like teenagers and yep some of us oldie's do come across as self righteous bitches who know it all........lol i love the way you phrase things. But in saying this the old can learn from the young and the young can learn from the old.

Rachel - posted on 08/17/2009

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I think all of us are the same page, AGE DOES NOT MATTER. The way people catagorise everyone and everything is soo wrong, to me it does'nt matter if the mother is 16 or 42 if they have advice then i'll listen and most times i will try it because hey you never know it might just work for me and my family to, and i have always thought that parenting was a trial and error kind of job and if one thing does'nt work then i'll try something else until i find something that works. Every mother loves their children and only wants the best for them and this should bring us mothers together to help each other to find solutions to help each child live in harmony and have every mother stay sane...lol. The thing that really annoys me is that are people out their who seem to think that age matters for one reason or another and the most common ones that i have heard are, "there to old to be a parent because they wont be able to play and run around with them as much as a younger woman could" THIS STATEMENT IS FULL OF CRAP, and i have also heard that she's too young to be a mother because she's not old enough to do this or that, I ALSO FIND THIS STATEMENT TO BE FULL OF CRAP. As i said i dont care how old a mother is or how young a mother is because if they have good advice then i'll listen because you never know it may just work.

Jinglebones - posted on 08/17/2009

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Well all I can say is I had my children later (42 and 44) because that's when I (finally!!) got pregnant (not for lack of trying). Being a parent has taught me one thing - that I really know sweet f*** all about parenting - but I keep trying. And being old has taught me one thing - that everyone has a story worth listening to. Being an imperfect parent is a much easier (and attainable) role in life for me than the other option...I highly recommend it... And BTW, one of my parenting role models has children the same age as mine but she was 17 and 20 when she had hers and I think she is awesome...

Tracy - posted on 08/17/2009

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I think everyone is different and when you choose to have children is a personal choice. I had my 1st baby at 30 and I have cousin that choose to have them young in their late teens. All have long term partners in good jobs and wanted to start a family young. I personally was not ready at that age as I was studying and wanted to travel.

For me I had my son at the perfect age for me as I don't feel I have missed out on anything and can focuse just on my family.

I have no problem with younger mums but I hate it when any mother talks down to you as if you know nothing! (I have seen both older and younger mothers guilty of this.)

We all have different opinions on how to bring up our children, because of moral, beliefs, religion, geography etc. We need to share our experiences as mothers and not give so much advice. We learn from experience not from someone said you should do it this way. Giving too much advice can make a person feel like their ideals or parenting is inferior. Lets face we all are different and what works for me does not work for the next person.

Amie - posted on 08/17/2009

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That's a good question and I think it comes down to maturity.

I'm also 27 and had my 1st baby at 18. I have never had a problem with older mom's though. I've always been respectful of my elders. It's one of those things my parents taught me that a lot of people from younger generations now a days seem to be lacking!

That however doesn't mean I didn't get annoyed sometimes. Even when I was though I rarely went on full on attack. (Unless I was pregnant and then any and all actions were hormonally based and are not my fault. =P LOL) Just because I have 4 kids also does not mean I know everything! What I've gone through is not an instant solution to all mothers out there. I know a lot, I've experienced a lot but that does not, by any means, mean I know everything about parenting. One of my best friends kids was severely colicky, mine never were. Another friends kid has a neural logical disorder, none of mine do. Every mother out there is going to learn as she goes with her kids.

There is no manual or directions when you have a child. So to attack a certain age group based solely on their age is ludicrous! Every mother comes at their parenting style differently. It doesn't make them better or worse. We're all just different. Age does not mean you will be a better mother. You may bring some more life experience or wisdom to the table in later years than you would in younger years but then again... it depends on the life you've lived before that. I know some women in their 30's who are severely lacking in life experience, that is by their own choice though. They chose to live in a bubble and be inflexible in their ideas. No one can expect to learn and grow if they are that way.

You need to be flexible and adaptable to be a parent too. Lord help you if you're not. I don't know a single mom who has been so dead set on their way though that it is the only way. Sadly since joining CoM's I've seen a few of them around.

But as I said in the beginning it's about maturity. You can listen to all people (regardless of age) and take advice without sitting their going... oh what does she know she's only 20something or thinking... because she's older she thinks she knows it all. That is not the case most of the time. Most of the time it is genuine help that is being offered but people are not mature enough to take it and listen to it without judgment. Even older mom's have their immature days just as the younger mom's do.

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