Why does husband want to be on the birth certificate

Joanne - posted on 11/23/2012 ( 60 moms have responded )

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I was unhappy for a long time and we fought a lot. I left my husband and filed for a divorce. Before it was finalized, I had started a new relationship with a younger man I loved. I became pregnant with his child. We eventually broke up because my husband was furious about us and continually guilt tripped me and harassed me and it wore down our relationship due to my boyfriend thinking I didn't manage boundaries well enough and letting my husband get to me.



Now that my husband and I have reconciled, my husband is being much better. He was just fighting to keep me. He also insists on being on the birth certificate even though he knows it's not his child. The bio father has asked us to sign a paternity form and my husband and I must sign it with him. My husband does not want to sign it. He says if I let the bio father have pictures and occasionally see his daughter then he has nothing to complain about. Makes sense to me I guess.



I don't understand why it matters to my husband who is on the birth certificate. And the bio father is now bothering me by saying we are trying to take his child from him and that my husband is a manipulating blackmailer. I'm not sure it's good for the bio father to be around if he has such a negative feeling toward my husband over this. Why does it matter so much to these men about who is on the birth certificate?

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Dove - posted on 11/24/2012

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IT'S HIS DAUGHTER TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU made THIS mess by screwing this man and then getting back together with your husband. I never said your daughter was a mess... the situation is the mess, but stealing her father from her is wrong.... no matter how you try and justify it.



All he has to do is get a court order for a dna test and he'll get rights whether you like or not. He CAN contest your husband going on the birth certificate. He has every right to do so and he will win.



Those are the facts and that is what is legally and morally right.

Dove - posted on 11/24/2012

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^I was unhappy for a long time and we fought a lot



^We eventually broke up because my husband was furious about us and continually guilt tripped me and harassed me and it wore down our relationship due to my boyfriend thinking I didn't manage boundaries well enough and letting my husband get to me.



^He was just fighting to keep me



^He also insists on being on the birth certificate even though he knows it's not his child.



^ My husband does not want to sign it. He says if I let the bio father have pictures and occasionally see his daughter then he has nothing to complain about. Makes sense to me I guess.



^I don't understand why it matters to my husband who is on the birth certificate.



^we are trying to take his child from him and that my husband is a manipulating blackmailer.



Nah... your prick of a husband isn't controlling at all. @@ After rereading your op... if you stay with this man I hope like crazy the bio father uses all this in court and gets full custody of that baby. If you REALLY think you and your husband are not the problem here.... you have no business raising an innocent child in that vile environment.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/27/2012

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I am locking this post. It is pointless, and not going anywhere.

Ashley - posted on 11/27/2012

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this made me lol...literally. He's the BIO dad! of course he wants his name on the Birth Certificate. To me it sounds like he's stepping up to the plate and wanting to be in his childs life. You sound like a complete control freak who wants all the rights so you and your husband can make decisions without her REAL father knowing about it. So wrong!!! It's women like you who give us a bad name. I left my ex a year ago...we have joint custody of both our boys. Not done legally...done on our own so it would be easier for the kids as well as us too. My boys have a step dad in their life who they absolutely adore. He loves those boys with all his heart but does he try and be their dad?? no. As much as i hate their father for everything he put me through...he is still their father. They arent just MY kids...their his too. Because things went sour with us doesnt mean i have the right to completely take HIS children away and give him the occasional visit or random pictures. If he his willing to be a dad then why are you trying to take that away from him? It's not about you and him anymore...it's about a father and daughter. And the questions?? your friggin right it's his business. When it comes to HIS child he has EVERY right to know exactly what is going on in her life. When my kids have come to me and said oh mommy so and so was at daddy's last night (people i've never heard of) i was on the phone right away asking him. If he's gonna have people i dont know influencing my children that is my right to know...as it's his right as well. You and your phsychotic sounding husband need reality checks. Allow that poor man to be apart of his childs life...if not...i PRAY he fights you tooth and nail for his baby and i guarantee you the judge will rule in his favour. It's not like it used to be...mothers dont automatically get the children (unless there's issues) a judge will look into the best interest of the child....if that's 50/50 custody well then guess what hunny you've now been forced to share your child....and my opinion...thats the way it should be. Every child deserves BOTH their parents in their lives. I hope you realize you are only hurting your daughter in the end.....you say you love her so much..then stop acting like a lunatic and let this man have a relationship with her

[deleted account]

To answer your questions:

"Why is it so important for the biological father to be on the birth certificate?"

It is important for the biological father to be named on the birth certificate because he is the biological father. The sole purpose of a birth certificate is to document the birth a person and document who the biological parents of said person are.



"Why does it matter who is on it, as long as I tell my daughter who her biological father is, and I leave open an invitation for him to meet her?"

It matters to the biological father that his name is on it because if his name is not there, he has nothing but your word to insure that he will be allowed to see his daughter. He needs legal documentation to insure his rights are respected and observed because apparently he does not trust your word....and even if you are an honest person, given your past with him, I can understand his mistrust.



As for why it matters so much to your husband who's name is on the certificate, I have no idea. Your husband is not the biological father, he has no right to be on the birth certificate. Even if he legally adopts your child in an open adoption (which would require the biological father to sign his rights over to your husband), his name would not be on the birth certificate.

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[deleted account]

"Why is it so important for the biological father to be on the birth certificate? Why does it matter who is on it, as long as I tell my daughter who her biological father is, and I leave open an invitation for him to meet her? Why does it matter so much? "



Let's re-word that a bit and tell me if you still agree.



Why is it so important for the biological mother to be on the birth certificate? Why does it matter who is on it, as long as I tell my daughter who her biological mother is, and I leave open an invitation for her to meet her? Why does it matter so much?

Dove - posted on 11/27/2012

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You are blind. Can someone lock this post? This is a debating community and there is no debate here. Just one blind, self centered woman who the more she posts... the more I hope bio-father gets the balls to take her butt to court. I think I'm getting nauseous from reading her responses now. @@

S. - posted on 11/27/2012

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Ok i'v skimmed through the comments .

I just have one question for you, would you be happy with some random woman on your babies birth certificate instead of you? If your answer is No because you are the bio mother then why wouldn't you put the true bio father?

It shouldn't matter to your hb but it should matter to the bio father.

Momma - posted on 11/27/2012

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Joanne - You lied down with him. You said you fell in love with him. You said YOUR husband made him pull away because he would not stay out of your relationship. Now, YOU decide to go back to your controlling husband and think it is OK to leave the bio-father to the waste side? I am sorry but it makes no sense. You have no real reason to do such a thing. Everything thus far, that you have described is about you. What about the little girl? What about the father to her? They have rights you know. You are not the dictator. It's sad how you think it is OK to run around, get pregnant and then make all the choices for the other innocent parties. You simply do not have that right. She is only half yours. The other half is from her bio-father, of whom wants a relationship with his little girl.



However, if you do not truly want support in your actions, than keep up the selfishness. No one here is going to agree with you. I think that is rather apparent. Each time you try to dig yourself out, you create a bigger hole. I would stop while you're somewhat ahead.



~Meme

Amanda - posted on 11/26/2012

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The manipulation is that you want him to sign over his rights, give him pictures 'if he can handle it', etc etc etc.



What are you not getting?



How would you feel if someone took YOUR child and put limits on how often you could see or know information about your child?



Seriously, I don't see how you don't see that trying to make someone give up their parental rights is not manipulation. You seem so childish, I can completely understand why this ex of yours has no trust in your word.

Joanne - posted on 11/26/2012

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Everybody keeps saying the words "prevent him from seeing her". I said I have an offer for him to visit. That's not preventing him.



I don't understand how he can take an offer to visit and turn it into us manipulating him.



Where is the manipulation? Describe the manipulation please.

Patrice - posted on 11/26/2012

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PLEASE TELL ME THAT YOU ARE WRITING A BOOK AND WE HAVE ALL BECOME CHARACTERS? I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT ANY OF THIS IS TRUE..... Seriously...... I'm officially DONE because it feels like you are making all of this up for attention?





and I quote:

"I don't understand why it matters to my husband who is on the birth certificate?"



and then you say;

As you can see, the more I describe him, the more you can see what I have to deal with. My husband is the one who really loves her. He could remove his name from the birth certificate, but he won't because he loves her and wants to protect her from having a disruptive life from her sperm donor who thinks he can be a father when he's in no position to be a real one.



Really? Am I the only one missing something?

[deleted account]

Um, those don't sound like "stupid questions that are none of his business" they sound like legit questions from a father who wants to be a part of his child's life. He has a right to know how he's been identified, and he is asking about good things to do with her on a visit, and how to handle visits so that he can make sure she has a good experience with him and as little "disruption" as possible. He's her dad, He has a right to her.



And, the more you describe him, the more I can see what HE has to deal with--you ARE bullying him, and you ARE trying to bully him out of his daughter's life. He has no obligation to pay you child support--he's not on the Birth Certificate! If you wanted payment in exchange for allowing him to spend time with his own child, you should have put his name on the certificate and taken him to court (or I suppose you could just rent her out like a common whore). I hope he takes you to court.



Honestly, I think you are a troll, and none of this is true. done.

Lacye - posted on 11/26/2012

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From the sounds of it, your ex wants to be in his daughter's life, but you and your husband aren't allowing him. You are not the victim here. He is. You are keeping him away from his child. Grow up. She is not just your daughter, she is his as well. The more you talk, the more you make yourself look like a cunt.

Joanne - posted on 11/26/2012

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My EX is the one turning it into a pissing contest. He whines about rights, but he's never sent a penny to us for the cost of raising her. All he cares about is that we wouldn't sign some stupid acknowledgement of paternity form with him. He oversteps boundaries by asking stupid questions that are none of his business, like "What would be good to do for a visit with her? You said open adoptions are good for kids in similar situations, so how would you plan on identifying me when I meet her? How do you identify me in these pictures you said you've shown her of me and my family? Why won't you answer important questions? You said you don't want the interference in your marriage, so is that the reason you won't answer my questions? Am I interfering in your marriage? Why do you want to hurt me? blah blah blah, etc.



Lots of whining, lots of inappropriate questions, and no action. Seems to me he won't visit unless his name is on the birth certificate. Seems to me that's all he cares about is marking his territory by having his name on my little girl's birth certificate just for his own ego. Seems to me he's more interested in making up his own version of reality and treating me as an emotional whipping post by accusing us of taunting him and trying to bully him out of my daughter's life. Bully him? What a joke. I don't even have to talk or send him anything, ever. I have told him I"m sorry he's hurt and that it weighs heavy on my heart, but he refuses to believe me and says I have zero respect for his feelings and want to hurt him and manipulate him. I shouldn't be subjected to those tirades of abuse. If I really wanted to stick it to him I'd stick him with a child support bill. He's working against himself because I"m saving all his emails and text messages.



As you can see, the more I describe him, the more you can see what I have to deal with. My husband is the one who really loves her. He could remove his name from the birth certificate, but he won't because he loves her and wants to protect her from having a disruptive life from her sperm donor who thinks he can be a father when he's in no position to be a real one.

Momma - posted on 11/26/2012

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Jen---So in other words Momma, you are refusing to accept what you did was wrong and are blaming him.



LOL - that is not what I said. I said I was also messed up when I got pregnant, however, I made the choice to grow up and be a PARENT for my daughter. He decided otherwise, so yes, his lose, his problem and his fault. I do not blame him for giving me my daughter. I am utterly grateful. I also was not wrong. Life situations occurred and landed me where I am today, which is actually in a very great place. My daughter, shaped me into the good person I am today. I blame him for being a selfish, irresponsible person and father. He has 5 other kids (maybe more now), that I was not aware of and does not parent any of them, either. Even if I had known, circumstances would have still occurred as they did.



I did not choose to get pregnant, it happened, like so many pregnancies. It is what you do thereafter, that makes or breaks who is in the right and who is in the wrong. ;)



I would never ever, EVER, allow a drug addict, reoccurring convict be a parent to my child. If he had changed his ways, sure, no problem. He didn't, so no, he does not deserve her in his life. Her life is precious, his is not, since he chose that for himself. I was 22, he was 33 - you tell me who was young and stupid and who was wrong. ;)



Perhaps you think it is the right thing to do, to allow a destructive, incapable, unstable person in a childs' life but that is only your opinion - you can do as you wish with your child(ren). It has absolutely no bearing on my choice nor my opinion of how I choose to raise my child(ren).



Therefore, my comment on if the father (or mother) are self destructive, abusers or the alike, I would and do understand why the other parent would not want them in the childs' life. However, that is NOT how I see this story (OP). This story is about a mother being very selfish and the bio-father wants to be a part of the childs' life. No where has she led me to believe nor feel, he is a bad model for the child.



~Meme

Lacye - posted on 11/26/2012

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Actually it doesn't matter if they were separated or not. My husband had been separated from his ex wife for years, she ended up pregnant, and put my husband's name on the BC because they were still technically married. Separation doesn't really matter.

Amy - posted on 11/26/2012

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In most states your husband is the assumed father so you have to put them on the bc by state law. Now if someone contests it, and triumphs that would alter the document. However since she was separated he is no longer the assumed parent. And you are correct she is morally, and legally obligated to do this.

Lacye - posted on 11/26/2012

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I haven't read what the other ladies have written but I'm going to give it a go anyways.



In some states, you are required to put your husband's name on the BC because he is your husband. However, you are morally obligated to do the right thing and allow the bio father the chance to see and love his child. To be honest, your husband has nothing to do with this. He is not the father of this child. You need to take your ex boyfriend to court and tell the court system that he is the actual father, have a paternity test done, and have his name put on the BC.



Oh and it matters to the bio father that he be on the BC because that is his child. He wants to be a part of his child's life as her father. He has every right to bitch and complain because it is his rights. I hope you decide to settle this whole thing civilly with your ex, because personally if I was him, I would have your ass in court and demanding to have my child.

Patrice - posted on 11/26/2012

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I digress.... If you and your husband love your daughter to pieces then you both would understand what it means to do right by her...... You both wouldn't be on a social network trying to validate your actions. It would be as simple as doing what is best for your daughter..... But hey if you don't feel the need to have a change of heart then why should we continue with this conversation? I don't see love in this post and in fact its the total opposite of what you would have us to believe. You posed a question and when we tried to offer an opinion you state that we are being hateful? This is not nor has it EVER been about your daughter........

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/26/2012

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But Kelly, it is clear she is not an honest person.

Dove - posted on 11/26/2012

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Duh.... because he IS the father! Why do you want to be on the birth certificate? Why don't you just leave YOUR name off? lol.... Really? @@

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/26/2012

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Also, he does not just have an open invitation to see her. It is clear you want to prevent him from seeing your daughter anytime he wants. If it was true, then you would not be insisting on him signing over his parental rights with an open adoption. You are being really cruel and completely wrong in this specific situation. This man WANTS to be a part of this kids life. He IS the father.



Now, is the baby born yet? Have you already committed fraud by putting your husbands name on the birth certificate? Be honest. Tell us the truth.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/26/2012

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We have already told you time and time again why. Because you husband is NOT the father. The biological father should be on the birth certificate. It is ILLEGAL to put someone on the birth certificate that is NOT the bio father. The birth certificate is for the BIOLOGICAL parents. This is a LEGAL DOCUMENT. Is that clear enough for you?

Amy - posted on 11/26/2012

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Obviously it matters to him because he believes erroneously that it means he will not have to deal with a custody dispute. Or he want's to piss to mark him territory. Either which way, the ADULT thing to do is put your bf on the certificate over your husband.

Joanne - posted on 11/26/2012

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Ok fine. I know it's not exactly a nice thing to do.



BUT. Just answer this since it is the most important part of the points you're all trying to make.



Why is it so important for the biological father to be on the birth certificate? Why does it matter who is on it, as long as I tell my daughter who her biological father is, and I leave open an invitation for him to meet her? Why does it matter so much?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/26/2012

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Joanne, you are completely diluted and it is worthless trying to have any sort of discussion with you. Your EX is trying to be a good man and a good father. But you clearly not being a good person is getting in his way. All I can say is, the man needs to take your ass to court and sue you for full custody. I certainly would not want a manipulative thoughtless couple like you and your husband raising one of my children.

Amy - posted on 11/26/2012

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Actually you were in the process of divorce so your husband is not assumed to be the father anymore. And if this guy files for a test you will look pretty shitty for denying him his child, and it will affect your custody.

Amy - posted on 11/26/2012

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You really don't have a say in whether he can see his child or not actually. And trying to keep him away will ensure he gets custody.

[deleted account]

Joanne, why don 't you just come right out and say what you really want. That being, 'I don't wnt any opinions unless they validate my decision.'



Anything else, you will refer to as hate, etc.

Amanda - posted on 11/25/2012

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Joanne ~ apparently you know that technically you CAN put your husband on the birth certificate and if you really had no problems doing so, you would not be trying to get validation for a morally bankrupt decision you are trying to make by excluding the ex from a bunch of strangers.



For the love of your child, do what is RIGHT by your child and her bio father.

Dove - posted on 11/25/2012

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I know I said it was pointless to try and reach your decency bone, but.... I'm a glutton for punishment apparently.

Dove - posted on 11/25/2012

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All we have to go on is YOUR words here.... We don't know either of these men... or you. Only your words.... and not one single person on this board agrees with you. If you weren't delusional.... that would tell you something... because 'typically' speaking.... if EVERYONE is saying something different from you.... it's not usually them that is wrong.



If he takes you to court he WILL have rights. You and your husband both know that which is why you are trying to badger him into agreeing to your pathetic terms of contact. You carrying and birthing the kid does not make you God here. That baby is and always will be 50% of this man you are trying to shut out.



Your words say nothing about your husband being a good man. Your words tell me he is an emotionally manipulative creep. Then again.... I used to be married to one of those, so....

Joanne - posted on 11/25/2012

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I understand this may not be a pleasant topic so I don't mind the criticism. I must say though that you all have it wrong in a major way. My ex does not have rights to sign over. My husband is allowed to be on the birth certificate because we are married. And he wants to be on it because he loves my daughter to pieces. I know he can try to get rights. I just don't see what the point of it is if I allow him to see his daughter sometimes and give him some pictures if he can handle them. And my question was meant to make a point that my husband is trying to be a good man and a good father by doing this. You all seem to miss that part. To be honest with you, you sound an awful lot like my ex, and his blatant hatred frightens me.

Dawn - posted on 11/25/2012

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Seriously? how would you feel if some one stepped in at the birth and said" HA! You can not be this child's mother" and left with the baby? And what if they told you all you could ever have was a picture and a visit now and then? but to do that you had to sign over all rights to your child and never be acknowledged as its mother? So what happens to this child being lied to for possibly years on end when they find out that the man on the birth certificate is not their biological father? Or considering you admitted you fought alot...what is to say that your husband wont take this and use it as a weapon to lash out at you and your child? If you loved this younger man..then be respectfully of him. honor the fact his is the child's father and deserves his rights as such. Shame on both you and your husband for wanting to steal this mans rights from him so hatefully. If I was in his shoes I would think the same of you both.

Patrice - posted on 11/25/2012

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I don't know if you read the title of your post? But I became confused because I can't establish if you are defending your daughter's father or your husband? We don't know the whole story, and we can only go by what You wrote. Your husband ruined the relationship, and you took him back?



ALL OF THAT IS IRRELEVANT: When we have children it our Responsibility and duty to act in the Best interest of our children. We have to get rid of the selfishness and become selfless because they are Helpless. If you don't like him (so you say) because of some emotional and irrational reason it is too damn bad. If he is physically, mentally, or sexually abusive then take him to court and Prove your case. We have to fight for our children's welfare. She deserves two parents and preferably her biological ones.

Amanda - posted on 11/25/2012

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Personally I would be irate and would fight if some other woman wanted my child to help patch up her marriage.



Of course the FATHER has every right to be on the birth certificate to protect him and the child.



If the bio dad is not on the certificate then you and your hubby can deny him and your child their right to have a parent / child relationship.



Sounds like you and your husband need some major marital counseling.

Dove - posted on 11/25/2012

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Yeah, I'm done with this. She's too deluded and self-centered to see what is plainly in front of everyone's face. Talking to her is 100% pointless. She is either a troll or a completely deluded woman who cares about no one but herself and her control freak creep of a husband.



If she's not a troll I just pray that bio father WILL take this to court. That's the only way he's ever going to have a real relationship with HIS child. Hopefully this precious little girl won't be scarred by the mind games that her mother and her mother's husband are playing with her father, but.... I doubt it. The kids are always the ones who suffer most in these situations.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/25/2012

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And also think about your baby....which you are NOT. Think of how he/she will feel when he/she finds out you forced the bio father out of its life. You will be resented more than you know, even if you tell horrible lies about the man.

Momma - posted on 11/25/2012

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I would like to know if the roles were reversed and how you, Joanne, would feel if the bio-father did not want to put YOU on the birth certificate. Perhaps if you took a sec and put yourself in their position, you would get a sense of why it matters to "some" men, who is on the certificate.



It does sounds as though, the bio-father here, wants to be a part of the babies life. You should count yourself lucky! You know how many men run and don't want to be a part of the childs' life? Way to many.



What if your husband decided later he didn't want to be with you? Then you would have no father in the childs' life. At least if the bio-father wants contact, he would always be there, he would be forced to by the courts. I think you need to do a wee little more in-depth thinking and realize what is being asked, is really a good thing and not someone trying to screw your life up. Besides, it sounds to me, you are quite capable of doing that yourself. ;)



~Meme

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/25/2012

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Just remember, this guy you supposedly loved, has a family too. Hopefully they are advising him NOT to give up his rights and let your husband adopt. This is effecting more people than just YOU and YOUR HUSBAND. Stop being so damned selfish. This is a man that WANTS to be there for his kid. Is this baby even born yet and you are trying to get him to sign over his rights? YOu are being so cruel and unfair. YOu are right though, what goes around comes around, so expect karma to come knocking at your door soon.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/25/2012

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Why should he sign an adoption form if he does not feel it is right? Why does he have to give up his rights? Just cause you and your control freak husband want him to? Why should he? He is the father and clearly wants to be part of this kids life. The only person that sounds like is playing games are you and your husbands manipulation games on this poor sucker.



Go ahead. Take him to court. I want to hear all about him winning.





The more I am thinking about it, the more I think you are a troll.

Momma - posted on 11/25/2012

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However, Joanne. I agree with the other ladies, here. From everything you have said thus far, you have no right to refuse your child or your ex, of seeing each other. You made your bed, now it is time to lie in it.



See, in my situation, if my ex had taken me to court, they would've told him to fly a kite anyhow. Simply because of his record and his involvement with a particular bikers club. The judicial system does not like him and they know him anywhere in Canada. In your situation, you have no right and if he takes you to court he could very well win.



~Meme

Momma - posted on 11/25/2012

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Jen---- "The bio-father has rights and if he is wanting to see his baby (daughter) then he has that right. Unless he has serious issues and is not fit to be around a child, such as a drug addict, abuser or the sort."



And if that is the case, then you only have yourself to blame.




Perhaps but this was my situation. I do not blame myself. I took my child and raised her like she should have been. I was a drug addict when I was with him( and he was a bigger one). I was not planning on getting pregnant but shit happens. I was a good enough person to know what my child needed, so I quit cold turkey and raised her like she deserved. He was not interested and continued on his self destruction. He is NOT on my childs' birth certificate and he has never ever seen her and he never ever will. He does NOT have that right in the shape he is in. He has never paid a cent, neither. If he had cleaned up and got a job and changed his way of life, yeah, he would've been acceptable. However, people make mistakes and it does NOT mean they need to drag their kids through the mud because of it.



Now, if he was a normal person and didn't have serious issues that would negatively affect the child, yes he deserves to be a part of that child. Otherwise, no child deserves to be a part of turmoil, if you are caring enough to keep them away from it.



He is probably in prison right now. So, for the amount of times he has been in prison, my daughter wouldn't know him anyhow and I much prefer her to never have met him, than chance fucking her up.



This is where I was getting at. If you don't agree, oh well. I lived it and if anyone would have done it differently, I don't agree. ;)



Oh and on the abuser part. Yeah, tell that to a person being abused that they only have themselves to blame. Often when there is abuse, they are MADE to become pregnant. Yet, in your eyes, it is their fault? Hmmm, that is some seriously sadistic feelings there.



~Meme

Joanne - posted on 11/25/2012

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How would you feel if you told your ex he can see your child even though you weren't legally obligated to let him, and then he plays the victim by accusing you and your husband of supposedly robbing him of his child just because we didn't want to sign some stupid unnecessary paternity form?

These are just tirades of abuse meant to make me feel guilty, and my husband sees it as clearly as I do and the rest of his and my extended family, even our friends. Sometimes I get calls from blocked numbers, and my husband thinks it's probably my ex being a psycho. How about I take that to court? My ex pretends to be nice and say things like, "I appreciate everybody who makes her feel loved, everybody." Then all of a sudden he whines and says, "why can't you answer a question about how you want to identify me to her when I see her"? Why can't you just sign a paternity form?"

Head games! I'm not obligated to answer ridiculous questions that intentionally overstep boundaries I have established.

I told him I'm sorry he's hurt and that nothing is wrong with open adoptions. I'm not robbing him of his child. Open adoptions work well.

My husband is just trying to do the right thing and raise a child and protect me and her.

And yes, it is my husband's baby because he's my husband and he was in the delivery room. He was there for the appointments after I stopped letting my ex go with me. He is her father, just not the same dna.

[deleted account]

"The bio-father has rights and if he is wanting to see his baby (daughter) then he has that right. Unless he has serious issues and is not fit to be around a child, such as a drug addict, abuser or the sort."



And if that is the case, then you only have yourself to blame.

Momma - posted on 11/24/2012

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How about putting no one on the birth certificate but yourself. That is not illegal.



Anyhow, I agree with Dove. You created this mess and now you want to lay blame on everyone else but yourself. I think it is time to grow up and pick up the pieces you have left disarranged.



You are also right, what goes around comes around and from your story, you have something coming around. Karma is a bitch and if you don't fix what you have created, Karma just may be coming for you. ;)



ETA:

Oh and I forgot. I agree with the other ladies here. The bio-father has rights and if he is wanting to see his baby (daughter) then he has that right. Unless he has serious issues and is not fit to be around a child, such as a drug addict, abuser or the sort.



~Meme

[deleted account]

He makes a good point about the bio father too -- what goes around comes around.

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So will that apply to you as well? Or is it just to try and 'forget' that you slept with another man who loved you and a baby is a result. I think you have helluva lot of nerve to place all the blame on him.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/24/2012

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Legally if you KNOWINGLY PUT THE WRONG PERSON ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE YOU ARE BREAKING THE LAW!

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/24/2012

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Joanne, your post speaks for itself about how controlling your husband is. Especially with your commenst "He made me see" "He told me he is doing it out of love" bla bla bla.



You have no choice about your ex lovers rights with his child. If he seeks joint custody, or visitations, it will be through the courts. I HOPE he seeks joint custody and puts both you and your husband in your places. HE HAS RIGHTS! HE IS THE FATHER!!!!!

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