Why does my (step) children call me mom, but my daughter doesn't call her stepdad "dad"?

Christian - posted on 01/27/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I adopted my husband children when they were 7 and 6 but I married their father when they are 5 and 4. My daughter was 2 when she gained a stepdad and saw her biological dad every other weekend since he loved two hours away because of his job until she was 7 then him and his wife and family moved back to his home town in Italy after we gave our daughter a choice to live with him or us. She chose us and sees her father every summer vacation and Christmas break and webcams them daily. Since she has been around her stepfather more than her own father, why doesnt she call him dad as well? She loves and respect him. My two oldest are 16 and 15 and she is 13. I am not complaining just wondering.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/28/2014

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Perhaps because she feels that "dad" belongs to her biological dad. I'm certain she's got her own name for her step father, it just isn't "dad". Nor should she be forced to call him dad.

Chet - posted on 01/27/2014

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Only your daughter can answer that question, but I don't see any reason to ask her. She may take it the wrong way and feel you're doubting her choice. She may feel like you are complaining if you ask her why doesn't call her stepdad dad.

Honestly, I think a lot of kids just feel like they can only have one mom and one dad. They may have special, very loving, relationships with many adults but just don't feel right using a term like mom or dad for more than one person.

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