Why hate men?

Anastasia - posted on 06/17/2010 ( 35 moms have responded )




I am genuinely really really curious.

I have my own male issues but I'd really love to know why so many women think (or KNOW) that men are scum.

I know you ladies always give very well thought out answers soooo I'm hopeing that I get some.

I'm crossing my fingers now.


Charlie - posted on 06/17/2010




It annoys me to no end the amount of bitching women do about men , yes i know some of them are douchbags but there are plenty of women who are too , its not fair to say all men are like this or like that , not to mention the extreme sexism that women get away with against men , these are a few reasons i love men and prefer their company , no bitching , no stabbing in the back , no gossip ,way less superficial , no drama , relaxed , if they want to say something they say it, most of my male friends are just interested in having a laugh .

I have been burnt in the past by boyfriends but i put that down to the individual for being a dickhead not the entire male population , its interesting because last night i actually went out to dinner with a bunch of girls , they spent the entire time bitching about their men , i could not join in the conversation because i have honestly nothing bad to say about my fiance , he is an amazing human being who i love and trust more than anyone and yet they all sat there talking about how crappy men were , how they wouldn't trust the fathers of their children to mind their kids for 5 mins .

I really feel offended for good men like my fiance and my friends when women make such offensive comments against their sex as a whole .
NO not all men are scum .
Not all men think with their dicks .
Not all men are cave dwelling neanderthals .
Most fathers have just as much right and responsibilities as the mothers so stop making out they are incapable .
Men DO have feelings and can get hurt .

Sarah - posted on 06/17/2010




I don't hate men, I can kinda understand that if a woman has had loads of bad experiences with men, she might end up tarring them all with the same brush. Sometimes getting hurt by a man can break your trust to the point where you think ALL men are that way.

I actually prefer hanging out with blokes to women (except for my really close girl friends) women can be bitchy, and I've had lots of bad experiences with women causing trouble amongst other women.

As I've gotten older though, I've realised there's good women and good men, bad women and bad men. It's not the gender, it's just the way some people are! :)

*Lisa* - posted on 06/17/2010




I can see why some people would come to the conclusion that men are scum if they've been constantly hurt or abused by them. But that hasn't been my experience. I know some great men. Perfect gentlemen. And have known some scummy ones too. But like others have mentioned, there are good and bad people everywhere, regardless of gender etc.

Anastasia - posted on 06/17/2010




Again, sorry. Really not meaning too.

"I'm sorry I offended you Dana. It was not my intention.
I assumed that from your original post that you liked men in general and was hopeing to have you expand on your reasons why you may or may not have come to the conclusion that most/all men are favourable."
Only this was directly meant for you. The rest was meant as an addition to my question. I should have edited it into my original post, but, well I was feeling lazy. So I have no excuse.

[deleted account]

I'm confused? What are you getting at? Do I think men are scum? No! Not all men are......not all women are! I happen to have a wonderful boyfriend and even though we have our problems we've always managed to work through them. Have I had some bad experiences? Sure......but not enough to make me bitter or want to trash on them. I'm not sure exactly what you're getting at??

People are people, some are good, some are bad! I don't judge or stereotype based on gender.

This conversation has been closed to further comments


View replies by

Pamela - posted on 06/19/2010




Lea, it sounds like you've had it pretty tough out there. If I were standing in your shoes, with your experiences, I might feel similar to how you feel about men. But listen, while there certainly are a ton of jerks out there, there are plenty of good men as well - they're not the hardest to find though it sometimes might feel like it is:O)

Lea - posted on 06/19/2010




And, I haven't been hurt by any one man, its been all of them in my life. Both grandfathers abandoned their wives, father lazy pothead, step-father molester, first fiancee cheater, second fiancee lazy leach, husband video game and credit card addict. I'm so afraid my son will turn out like them!!!! :(

Lea - posted on 06/19/2010




Honestly none of the men close to me in my life are any kind of good role model. A friend of mine has a BF whom I think is great and I like the president and thats about it. Yup. Seriously how many men opposed to how many women decide to grow up when they have a kid?

Meghan - posted on 06/18/2010




The way I see it, I am raising a boy who I hope becomes a GREAT man! I don't think it would be condusive to him for me to talk shit anout men all the time-might give him the wrong idea don't you think?
So I keep all my man bashing feminest speech away from him LOL

Melanie - posted on 06/18/2010




Personally I find that most of the time men are easier to get along with than women . I find women that constantly bitch about men really irritating.. Some men can be douche bags and some women can be real bitches, all depends on personality.

Heidi - posted on 06/18/2010




I don't think all men are scum, but there are a few that certainly can be considered scum thats for sure. But then again there are a few women that are scum as well. Its par for the course and a part of life I think.

Anastasia - posted on 06/18/2010




Im wording my view now. Probably be a while since the kido is still awake.

Pamela - posted on 06/18/2010




I don't care too much for misogynistic guys. But otherwise, most the fellas I know, are all pretty much great guys.

Sharon - posted on 06/17/2010




Apparently mine came with the extended package and the extended warranty!! hahaha!!

Joanna - posted on 06/17/2010




It's not that I FAVOR men, persay... I just happen to like the equipment they carry, if you know what I mean ;)

Krista - posted on 06/17/2010




Some men are scum, but so are some women. Overall, I really like men.

Plus they have a penis, which is a definite bonus.

Jodi - posted on 06/17/2010




My best friend happens to be a man :)

Honestly though, yes, some men are scum (my son's father is in that category), but so are some women (I've known a few of those too).

Carolee - posted on 06/17/2010




I know that my exes were scum to me. Some of my male cousins are, too. Almost every single one of my exes abused me. Some of my male cousins did, as well. That is why those guys are scum. The rest of my exes lied to me... big lies. One was selling cocaine and other illegal substances behind my back, and the other one "forgot" to tell me that he was married! That is why THOSE guys are/were scum. I can tell you that I am SO happy to be rid of each and every single one of them, too. It actually frightens me that a lot of them have kids now.

I am now extremely cautious about people (male and female) now that I have kids. Thankfully, I found a good guy to marry. And, yes, my family and I did background checks on him when we started dating.

Rachelle - posted on 06/17/2010




I dont like scummy men, just like I dont like scummy women, but There are great men out there too. Alot of women take their bad experiences and put it on the whole male species, but I personally love men, well one man, sorry hunny haha

Rosie - posted on 06/17/2010




i don't necessarily think men are scum, i think that men don't think like women so we tend to get pissed off when they think with their dick instead of their head. while it's true every man is capable of being in a loving, monogomous relationship, some choose not to more than women because of the way they just are. it's engrained in them somehow. it's societies whole thing with men and women. men go and spread their seed, and women sit back pining for their true love to break them out of their castle tower. those 2 things don't mix, and therefore men look like scum. how many times have i thought this may be the one and i ended up still in my tower except knocked up , and he's nowhere to be found, or thought he was going to rescue me, but it turned out he really only wanted to get some ass and i didnt let him, and then he just leaves me there.

now, i know that this isn't the case for everybody, and obviously the men we all have in our lives our our knights in shining armor that saved us from our castle towers (at least mine is :) but the dating game is definitely like this.
did anything i say make anysense? usually somebody says it a hell of a lot better than i can, so i'll just wait until they do and say yeah, i agree, lol!!

Zoe - posted on 06/17/2010




Some men are like that but personally i get on with men better than women sometimes

Lyndsay - posted on 06/17/2010




I hate stupid people, plain and simple. Be they male or female. I tend to find the male population a little bit more infested with idiots, but overall I don't discriminate against their gender based solely on the fact that they don't have vaginas.

Amie - posted on 06/17/2010




You can't know every male is scum. It's not even possible for every man to be scum.

I have issues with a few men but they are specific to that person. I'll crack jokes about men being a bunch of idiots or something along the same lines. I also know it's not true. I do this one a lot with my MIL though and my mom. My dad, FIL and husband all have a couple tendencies that drive us all mad. LOL!

I think the biggest problem though with women becoming bitter is a string of bad luck. For lack of a better word. They keep attracting losers, so they keep getting hurt. Doesn't matter if it's a relationship or a friendship. The thing with this though is we attract people without knowing it sometimes. In our demeanor, mannerisms, body language, etc. We may not mean to attract the losers who you want to drop kick but it happens. The biggest way to combat it is to be self aware. Know what you are doing wrong and change it.

I often think though it's easier for some to just blame everyone else (all men are scum) then to actually look at themselves and say "What can I do different to attract/find someone better"

Edit to add: This same kind of thinking can be extended over into the female/female friendships too. (or relationships if that's your thing.)

[deleted account]

Thanks for the apology, Anastasia......it's quite possible I'm being overly sensitive because I'm not feeling well? Anyhow, thanks for clarifying.....I'll be back later to get more in depth.....my daughter's napping and I need to take advantage of this quiet time to rest my head cold!

ME - posted on 06/17/2010




I've always been better friends with men then with women. I particularly, have always disliked and distrusted the majority of women my own age because they were always so bitchy and catty...that does seem to be changing slowly now that I am in my 30's...I have also had some HORRIBLE and violent experiences with men, and I can understand why that would cause some trust issues for women. My husband and I still occasionally have to deal with my insecurities due to past experiences with men...but I am crazy in LOVE with him, and I know plenty more men just like him who I could sit around drinking beer and watching a baseball game with, who would never hold a grudge against me for any reason, etc...I know very few women like that...

[deleted account]

First of all, Anastasia, you DIDN'T offend me....LOL! And forgive me if I didn't understand your post like the other ladies?! Now it seems like you're patronizing me? Anyhow, I'm much like LaCi, and it has nothing to do with gender for me.....

Anastasia - posted on 06/17/2010




I'm sorry I offended you Dana. It was not my intention.
I assumed that from your original post that you liked men in general and was hopeing to have you expand on your reasons why you may or may not have come to the conclusion that most/all men are favourable.

I'm a thinker and was hopeing for some thought provoking answers. Perhaps I should of narrowed down my topic but I was really hopeing for some broad answers.

Also I'm not looking for people to trash talk men, I'm looking for reasonable and perhaps even logical posts, that again, prevoke thought.

LaCi - posted on 06/17/2010




I just get along with men, masculine men, I guess I should specify. They're laid back, they aren't easily offended, they aren't easily disgusted, they aren't catty, they don't dig drama, I can say any perverted disgusting thing I'd like around men and they don't view it as being in bad taste, list goes on. My friends have always tended to be men and lesbians. I lean toward masculinity? Women in my age range irritate me, most of the time.

Anastasia - posted on 06/17/2010




If you're up for it. Would you please tell my why you Dana and LaCi find men favourable. I know my own reasons but would love your view.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms