Women paying alimony

Lady Heather - posted on 05/06/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )

2,448

17

91

So I was reading this month's Glamour on a road trip and there's some article about how more women are having to pay alimony because our greater career success and how women feel this is unfair. The one woman married a guy 30 years older than her who had been married 4 times before. She was making a million dollars a year when they divorced. 1) Did you not see the divorce coming? and 2) You make a million a year lady!

The author mentioned that it's not fair because women pull more weight around the house and that is not taken into consideration. Is that always true? And does that negate the fact that a husband might have given up a career to look after kids so the wife could work and support the family financially? Dude, does this mean if my husband vacuums too much he can argue I shouldn't get alimony in case of divorce?

Someone please tell me I'm not crazy. I'm sure there are many cases of divorce in which the settlements are unfair, but I'm not really understanding why women just get a pass for being women. Talk about having your cake and eating it too. Mmm...cake.

8 Comments

View replies by

[deleted account]

Alimony would've been nice for a year or two. What am I talking about? CHILD SUPPORT would be nice now! ;)

Mommy - posted on 05/09/2011

328

18

2

I agree with Jenn, I think alimony laws are ridiculous. If you stayed home so your husband could work, or vice versa, I think alimony should be paid for 2-4 years, so that you can earn a degree and obtain a career so that you can care for yourself. It shouldn't be your ex-spouse's responsibility to fund your lifestyle for the rest of your life. And child support laws need a make-over too. Between the parents who pay so little a child could barely get lunch from their weekly stipend, to the parents who misuse the child support...the whole system needs a reform.

Sarah - posted on 05/06/2011

74

38

3

I completely agree! I think its hypocritical for women to want everything to be equal until it comes to something that doesn't benefit them! We can't have it both ways! Either we're equal to men, or we're not. I cannot tell you how many times I have had to put off my last semester of school (student teaching for crying out loud!) so that my husband could further his career. My husband and I made the choice together. We absolutely did not want our daughter going to day care, and the only way that was gonna happen was if I postponed school. He has been able to ahead in his career and get to a point where he is making enough money to support us easily. I'm scheduled to student teach this fall because my mom retired and will be watching our daughter. What would happen if something happened and our marriage ended before I finished school. I'll tell you what: I would be screwed because I don't have any way of supporting myself. And that would suck because I'm so close. I would be done by now if it my husband hadn't switched police departments numerous times to get to a department that payed decent (thats how it works with police officers, people don't usually start out at a department that pays good, you have to work your way up). I wouldn't be able to student teach because I would have to get a job, and I would probably never get my teaching certificate! In my opinion, in a situation like that alimony should be court ordered for a certain amount of time even if the one receiving the alimony is male. Keep in mind, we are very happy, I was just using that scenario as an example :) Why should I get the short end of the stick, being stuck at a low paying job because I stayed home with OUR daughter, and he gets to make the big bucks????

[deleted account]

I believe that if a man stays home and takes care of the house, kids, etc. Then they should get alimony from the wife if they divorce. Just like when a woman wants alimony for staying at home. I think tit for tat should be in play here. IMO
IMO If a woman wants to wear the pants in the household and do a mans job while her man stays home then she should have to pay him alimony just as a man would. IMO

Jenn - posted on 05/06/2011

2,683

36

96

She did have compensation for that at the time she was with him and staying home. Why should someone be owed half of the other person's money? If they both agree to it, fine - what a nice gesture that is, but it shouldn't be court ordered.

Lady Heather - posted on 05/06/2011

2,448

17

91

Really? You think if a woman ends her career to stay home and raise kids for the good of the family, she shouldn't have compensation for that? I can't understand that position because it's really in everyone's best interests for the woman (or man) to be able to go on and support themselves.



I know for myself, I would need a good four years to even get to the point where I'd be making half what my husband does right now and it's all because I moved here where I couldn't finish my schooling so HE could have a good job. My mum did the same thing and my dad happily paid her alimony because he knew that she had sacrificed her career for the sake of his and that it was necessary to have the family they wanted. That said, once a person has a stable and steady career I don't see the point of it.

Jenn - posted on 05/06/2011

2,683

36

96

Alimony is stupid and shouldn't exist. Child support, fine, but not alimony.

Constance - posted on 05/06/2011

2,651

24

146

I believe that if a spouse male or female doesn't work duing the mariage then they shoeld receive help. Until they can support themselves. But I do believe that there should be a time limit depending on the situation.

Carolyn - posted on 05/06/2011

898

19

140

i think its only fair that both parties be treated equaly when it comes to alimony. Why should equality etc etc when it comes to genders only apply when it is convenient and of benefit.

hmm how to say this...

if you are in a relationship where both you and your partner work, but you chose to allow your partner to get off with doing less than his share around the home, Thats on you and what you are willing to or not tolerate.

My husband and I both work, while on maternity leave i have taken on alot more household stuff since he is at work. But when I return in a few weeks ( sheds tear* ) he is well aware that laundry, dusting, bathrooms, dishes, floors etc. will be blips on his radar again.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms