Would you enroll your child in self-defense

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 10/07/2010 ( 39 moms have responded )

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Bullying is not new thing, but of lately it has been in the media more.

Would you enroll your son or daughter in a self-defense class so they would know what to do in a situation where they could not walk away or get an adult right away…]

Why or why not?



I just recently got my son in Boxing/jujitsu for a few reasons; one is, so he can deal with bulling if it ever came to that.



He is not only learning to defend his self’s, but he is also learning ways to restrain a person (obviously his size), instead of just punching or kicking them right away….

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Krista - posted on 10/07/2010

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I think martial arts classes are excellent, as they also teach self-confidence, goal-setting, respect and self-discipline, which are great traits to develop.

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[deleted account]

I took self defense for 5 years (all 3 years of High School and 2 years afterwards). I loved knowing that I could handle myself if I had to and I was more confident about myself (which my self defense teacher said was one way to prevent an attacker from even considering you - look confident and look all people you pass in the eye).



I would sign my daughters up for self defense classes in a heartbeat as long as a few things were in place first:



1. They HAVE to be old enough to understand the responsibilites that come with self defense. A lot of kids are showing off their moves and end up hurting each other accidentally. If you wait until kids are a little more mature, a lot of those accidents could be avoided.



2. We HAVE to find a great teacher, who has the same beliefs as me in the art of self defense (i.e. not to be used unless there's no other choice, etc.). I would probably have my old teacher ask around for me before trusting my child's self defense training to someone.



There are more stipulations, but these are the big ones. Because I took self defense classes from a REALLY great teacher, I know I have high standards for any person I will allow to teach my chilren. I am fine with that, and I am willing to wait for the perfect teacher before signing any of my girls up for self defense classes (and teach my girls a few moves myself in the meantime).



edited to add: I thought I should point out that I didn't tak my self defense classes at any special studio. A friend of our family was from New York where he trained in many different art forms for most of his life. My sister was going off to college and he pointed out to my mom (who owns a dance studio) that my sister should be prepared for the eventuality of what could happen on the college campus. After that, he taught a class at my mom's studio that consisted of: my mom, my sister, my best friend and myself. Every once in a while we woul dhave someone drop by and take a class or two, but the four of us stuck it our for 3 years and we had a blast! I was the ookie (Vinnie showed us the moves on me) and my best friend and I got to beat eachother up on a regular basis! lol. It was a great time in my life and I will never forget the moves, the confidence, or the friendship that I got out of Vinnie and that class.

Charlie - posted on 10/09/2010

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From a personal experience it made me confident , disciplined ,focused , fit , able to defend myself ( and i did) i found the confidence it built in me helped me stand up to bullies at school who picked on me because i was "black" according to them , i stood up to them without using martial arts at all , not only did they all back down but i became friends with many of them after they realised i wasnt so different after all , it was the confidence from martial arts that allowed me to do this .
My mum is a third dan black belt and has used it to protect herself on many occasions , martial arts when done properly is a great tool for life , my boys will be enrolled and if they enjoy it they can continue .
How long did they take classes for Sherri ?

[deleted account]

@Vanessa - I'm so sorry you had such an experience. I am half Japanese too, but was never bullied or harassed because of it. Well, I did have a couple boys tease me a little, but nothing like you experienced. I suppose because I was "the smart one" so kids would come to me for help with school work.

That is a great saying! My mother taught me something similar.

[deleted account]

Well my daughter is only 18 months so obviously not right now....but I definitely intend to put her in some classes if she feels up for it. I was bullied a lot at school because I am half Japanese. The teachers were absolutely of NO help, and I was too scared to tell my parents for some reason. Walking away would always be the best answer, but some bullies won't stand for that either. I think the best is to be able to stand up for yourself. I learnt the hard way, and I always tried to walk away but that doesn't always solve anything. One instance I had a broup of kids picking on me and following me around at lunch breaks and I tried telling teachers, counselling, asking them nicely. I wouldn't say what I did was the best way to deal with it, but I actually shoved one of them over one day and well they left me alone after that. I agree that violence doesn't solve violence, but some people who are violent will only learn the hard way. I mean in Japanese there is a saying which roughly translates to: "Idiots will not learn until they die." Now it sounds a little nasty but it is just to say that some people just NEVER learn no matter what you try. And unfortunately as much as we all wish it to be, the world is sadly becoming more and more dangerous...

Stifler's - posted on 10/08/2010

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Oh I read it wrong I thought he made Seth write something and then took the paper and went away and was like WHAT IF IT WAS YOUR ADDRESS?

[deleted account]

No idea, Emma! It just felt creepy, but thankfully nothing really happened.

I'm pretty sure I had the mumma bear look of death on my face as I stared at him... and the Wolverine claws were definitely out.

[deleted account]

I enrolled my eldest (3) in Shito-ryu Shukokai Karate a few months ago, not so much for bullying though. My main intent was for self-discipline, self-esteem and confidence, as well as to have fun. There was the whole self defence thing too that had been haunting me for several months now.

We had an incident several months ago with a suspicious person. My 2 boys (3 and 22 months) and I were in the bank, which is unusual in itself because I never go into the branch. I was at the desk with Wyatt in a shopping trolley and Seth was sitting over at a small desk in the corner of the branch drawing on some paper with a pen I'd given him. A heavyset scruffy looking man walks into the branch and straight over to the table where Seth is sitting. He sits in the chair next to Seth, effectively blocking my view of Seth because of his girth (yes, Seth chose to sit in the chair right in the corner). As I was talking to the bank clerk, he gets out something I assumed was a deposit slip and asks Seth for his pen. He had to ask a few times before Seth gave it to him. Then he proceeds to write something and before I knew it he gave the pen back to Seth, got up, put the paper into his backpack and walked out of the branch! It took me a second to realise he'd not actually DONE any bank business. Seth jumped up after the man left and raced to the door to see where he was going, so I quickly called him over to find out what, if anything, the man said or did. It all happened in such a short amount of time, but I just had a strange feeling about him from the second I saw him sit down. The entire time he was "writing" he would keep looking around to see if anyone was watching and he would see me staring at him. I never took my eyes off him, but by the time I had it together to approach him the whole thing was over. When we got home that afternoon I swore I was putting Seth into some martial art to help build himself up and give him some tools to help him should the need ever arise.

Even though it was only a minute or two out of our lives, that incident still affects me. I'll never forget it.

Jessica - posted on 10/08/2010

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I fully intend to not only get my son enrolled in these kinds of classes, but to encourage him to use said skills if he cannot walk away. I will also be teaching him that if someone hits him, he has 3.5seconds to react in self defence. I will not tolerate him hitting back because of hurt feelings or embarrassment.

Tracey - posted on 10/08/2010

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I put my kids into Karate to be able to defend themselves. teachers at my sons school don't want to know about bullying and if a child complains they tell them to stop telling tales and sort it out themselves.

Amie - posted on 10/08/2010

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My kids enrolled in Mano Mano this year. From our 3 year old to our 10 year old. They all love it.

They all practice together, which looks so cute. LOL They're picking it up fast too. They are active kids though and our oldest doesn't surprise me. She's also a cadet, so has the stamina and a hip hop dancer, so she's flexible.

Johnny - posted on 10/07/2010

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I'm glad you ladies find this amusing. I still have the scar. I use it to guilt trip my hubby when he is being a turd. The guy who did it is now a Personal Injury lawyer. Perhaps I should see if he'll sue himself.

Stifler's - posted on 10/07/2010

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AHAHAHA I can't believe he stabbed you with a compass! What a turd!!

[deleted account]

"Until the day he stabbed me in the back with a compass. I turned around and chopped him in the neck and knocked him out." ~ Carol

Bwahaha! LOVE IT!

Johnny - posted on 10/07/2010

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Martial arts changed my life. When I was bullied at school... actually, I was bullied a lot. But when it became violent and I was targeted specifically by a boy from up the street in a sexual manner when he was just 7 and I was 8.... my parents enrolled me in self-defense/marital arts. One day on the way home from school, he jumped out of the bushes, pulled me in and we rolled down a hill into a ditch. Where I proceeded to severely kick his ass. He was suspended from school and I was not bullied again for years.

In grade 7, the boy behind me tormented me constantly. I used my self-restraint techniques to ignore him and get passed it. Until the day he stabbed me in the back with a compass. I turned around and chopped him in the neck and knocked him out. He was suspended until the end of the school year. My teacher asked me how I'd managed to be so patient and told me he was proud of me.

Martial arts taught me self-discipline and self-control along with how to defend myself. I have never been physically violent towards another person without them provoking me with severe physical violence first. I learned to tolerate, and I learned to defend myself successfully every time. It gave me self-confidence, self-assuredness, and focus.

I am very opposed to violence. Some of you may have seen me virulently opposing MMA and it's current popularity. But I do believe that many martial art forms have important lessons for young people about self-discipline and personal strength.

My daughter who is 2 is actually starting a karate class at the end of October with my husband. It is geared towards 'improving parent-child communication, not teaching your child to be the next Jackie Chan' according to the pamphlet. We'll see how it works for her age. But I hope to give her the gifts my parents gave me when they enrolled me in my first Karate class.

Stifler's - posted on 10/07/2010

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If they wanted to do one I would. I'm not into pushing kids into dance and sports and stuff if they will hate it.

[deleted account]

Funny you started this thread because I just posted the other day about enrolling Roxanne (now JUST 2) in some form of martial arts when she's 3. Not only do I want her to be able to defend herself, but, I think martial arts are an excellent way to teach kids self discipline and help boost their self-esteem, self-confidence etc. AWESOME! Can't wait!

Charlie - posted on 10/07/2010

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Most definatley ,
There all positives to self defence classes and absolutely no negatives when used the right way .

Tah - posted on 10/07/2010

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GO JAKE IT'S YOUR B-DAY(doing the good way to deter a bully dance)..proud of him too and i don't even know him..lol

[deleted account]

Yes! Jake has been in Taekwondo since he was 4yrs old (he is almost 6 now). He is now a Blue Stripe Belt, which is his 4th earned belt.

Self defense was only one of many reasons we chose Taekwondo for him, but he had to use it outside the classroom for the first time last week. A child was picking on him at the park. He told the kid 3 times to leave him alone, and I spoke to the kid twice. I could not tell who his mother was or I would have addressed her, he was hitting several kids with big sticks. He came up behind my son and swung a thick stick at his back. Jake saw it before he hit and ducked, grabbed the swinging arm with the stick in it and used it to pull the kid onto the ground then lock the stick over his back to keep him there. I was very proud of him, he never hit the other kid, and did not hurt him, but he got his point across. The attacker is defenseless in that position and Jake could have really hurt him, but he knew when to stop. If he hadn't had taekwondo, he probably would have just hit back and gotten into a fist fight resulting in two injured, angry kids and no winner.

Taekwondo is also wonderful for his confidence, he has won First Place for Forms in two competitions, one encompassed the entire southeastern US, and Third Place for Breaking in two competitions. He has also learned greater focus, restraint, and control over his body, plus it is a great place for him to release his energy in a productive way.

Tah - posted on 10/07/2010

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our sinsai has alot of classes, tai chi, self defense for women, the shorin ryu, etc. I think that basic self defense is something that everyone should learn, at least take a few classes. I also enrolled them for the discipline, friendship, confidence and awareness that it fosters, but being able to defend themselves was high on the list.

JuLeah - posted on 10/07/2010

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My daughter is in Karate, but it is more for her self esteem, fittness, and fun time, then self defence.

There is an amazing program called "self defence from the inside out" that teaches the mind set of self defence - how to advocate for your self, how to notice what is happening around you, how to believe in yourself, understand your worth and value, how to scream, when/how to ask for help, how to fight long enough to get away .... if I were to put my daughter into a real self defence class, it might be this one.

September - posted on 10/07/2010

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If it's something our son is interested in doing then you bet I will. Otherwise we will do our best to teach our son how to handle bulling situations without the use of a self-defense class. I'm thinking he might enjoy a martial arts class...we will see! :)

Kimberly - posted on 10/07/2010

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Sounds good to me.

"I think martial arts classes are excellent, as they also teach self-confidence, goal-setting, respect and self-discipline, which are great traits to develop."

I concur.

Tah - posted on 10/07/2010

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if someone attacks my children in school then they give them the right to protect themselves and they are in no trouble with me, and i have told the school as much...

[deleted account]

Well all I can go on is that in my school whether you were the one who started the fight or not, if you used violence you both got a bollocking, pardon my French! If it was an attack in a street fair enough but not in school.

Dana - posted on 10/07/2010

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Yes. We plan on putting our son into some kind of martial arts as soon as he's a little older.

Tah - posted on 10/07/2010

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umm heck yeah...I say it on here all the time..my children take shorin ryu karate as well as myself..we just had a belt ceremony on friday. My 13 year old also does boxing with his father(my husband but it's all the same)...Rylan will be going in december when he turns 4 since that is the age they start at and he goes with us when we go to the dojo, he bows before he walks on the mat and everything..lol....my nieces are also taking it because you never know when they will have to take down somebody in a parking lot or a schoolyard....i have been saying it all across COM....teach your children to protect themselves, it's dangerous in this day and age.



i work nights, so i need to know also. Children are getting worse as bullies and then you have predators. I was watching a show where the guy said that he would literally stalk the women while they were in the mall etc. and make sure they were alone, then he would run up on them force them into their cars take them, rape them, and then take their id cards so that they would be too scared to report him. I want them to have a fighting chance if God forbid they were ever in any situation. Sometimes the shock of someone fighting back with a head butt, a knee to the groin or a takedown is enough time to save a life or innocence.



I encourage it...my sinsai has trained most tof the guys in va that have karate studios, he carried his behind to japan and lived there for goodness sake...lol..i'm gonna learn and have them learn all they can and it gives me a little more piece of mind. My brother also takes ninjitsu. He said screw what the samurai's say about ninjas not having honor, if you get home at night that is a win, so he comes over and teaches us the things he learns also, like how to break a arm in about 3 seconds...so we set up shop in the living room with him once a week and learn how to incorporate the 2 styles....we run through all types of scenerios. Someone grabs you from the front, the back, trys to hit you, has a knife..etc...i start weapons training soon and my kids will when they move up a couple more belts...as a matter of fact they are there now...husband took them so i could cook and sleep for work when i am done..lol

Sharon - posted on 10/07/2010

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I like how you have to stay COOL to stay in control of your matches. You have to THINK steps ahead and cannot get angry. If you get angry - you fail. Thats what I vaguely remember from my brothers' karate class.

ME - posted on 10/07/2010

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I intend to as soon as they are old enough...both my son and my daughter... I studied Kung Fu for about 2 1/2 years...If they don't like it, I won't make them do it for more than a year...but I think it's wonderful for anyone!

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 10/07/2010

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your right violence is not the first answer, that is what he is also learning...if you can walk away do so, if you can get to an adult...do that to..but sometimes you cant walk away...and that is reality

[deleted account]

At school when I was about 14 all the girls did a short course in self-defence so that if we attacked etc. we could use the moves to defend ourselves. If my son when he's older wanted to do a martial art I'd be fine with it but IMO violence is not the way to stop bullying.

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