Would you ever respond to an ad like this?

Becky - posted on 08/10/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )

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We've debated surrogacy before, but this is a bit of a different spin. I was browsing Kijji.com tonight looking for baby stuff and came across an ad looking for a surrogate for a family who already has two biological children but would like more.
http://www.surrogant.ca/

Would you ever consider responding to such an ad? Why/why not?
Me - I don't think I could ever be a surrogate anyway. Pregnancy is not easy for me and I couldn't do it without getting very attached to the baby, even if I knew it wasn't mine, and having an awful time giving it up. I could only consider it if it were someone I was very, very close to. But even if I had no personal issues with being a surrogate and would jump at the chance, I don't think I would in this case, because they already have 2 biological children together. I feel like there are so many children out there waiting for a family. If you have been able to have a child biologically and would like more but for whatever reason cannot have more, I just kind of think that that's a sign that maybe you should give one of those children a home instead of pursuing other methods to have another biological child. I know, adoption isn't for everyone and not everyone would be approved to adopt, but I just don't think I could be a surrogate for someone who already had biological children because I would see them as a potential adoptive home. And if I knew enough about them to not see them as such, well then, I'd probably feel they shouldn't have more children anyway!

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MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/28/2012

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Laurie---

At least they know what having kids is all about, and still want more! Everyone says they should adopt, Its very hard for children to come into a home where there is 2 children that are genetically related to the parent, those adopted children might not feel as loved as the other 2 , even if the parents love them.



Well what about all the step-families out there? I have to disagree with your statement. It just simply is not true. I have two friends that were adopted into families that had bio children. They felt just as loved as the next bio child.

Laurie - posted on 03/28/2012

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At least they know what having kids is all about, and still want more! Everyone says they should adopt, Its very hard for children to come into a home where there is 2 children that are genetically related to the parent, those adopted children might not feel as loved as the other 2 , even if the parents love them. Unfortunately , There are a lot of children waiting for good homes, and so many of them have ADDHD, FAS, etc. They want to expand their family because they love having children, not take on problems or issues......That might sound bad, but if more people didnt think this way adoption would be through the roof. So obviously, people want healthy kids, and arent willing to gamble.

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MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/28/2012

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Never. I would simply not be able to hand the baby over. I love being pregnant. I feel awesome when I am pregnant. I just could never ever go through all the motions and then hand "their" baby over, since it would feel as though it was mine.



I don't think I could do it for anyone. I think it is great that there are those that can. I applaud them. Just isn't for me.

Rosie - posted on 08/11/2011

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never, i dont' even think i could do it for one of my best friends or family members. i think i would become too attached to the baby, and pregnancy sucks big hairy balls for me. i loathe it.
as for this particular couple, maybe they can't have anymore children because of cancer, hysterectomy or something. you cna't always assume they just don't want to get knocked up again, maybe they CAN'T. however if they CAN, i would have to agree that they should probably adopt.

Stifler's - posted on 08/11/2011

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No but only because I refuse to get pregnant ever again unless the people were really close to me and wanted a surrogate. It doesn't bother me that they already have kids etc. It's their money.

Alexandra - posted on 08/11/2011

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Would i be a surrogate, definately. For this couple i really dont think so. I too think if you already have 2 kids then why not adopt. If it were for someone trying to have there first child then yes. Mostly because i know everyone wants a child of there own. I have a close friend who cannot have kids and i know she really wants kids. Shes even said that if she could buy a baby shed do it in a heartbeat. Ive always wanted to ask her why she doesnt use a surrogate but that just seems like a little too intrusive. Even for me lol. I have always loved the idea of helping people start a family. If someone i knew asked me there would be no question. Unless they were like horrendous people then ide say no.

Becky - posted on 08/11/2011

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That's exactly how I feel, Jennifer! I understand the desire to have biological children, but if you've been able to do so and still want more, why not give some children in need of a home, a loving family?!

Jenni - posted on 08/11/2011

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uhhh.. I'm going to go with 'no.' When it comes to complete strangers:
1. Pregnancy is ultra tough on me. I gain an excessive amount of weight, have severe morning sickness, severe PGP, horrid indigestion.

2. Both my pregnancies went to 42 weeks and I had to be induced. Both my pregnancies ended in emergency c-sections because I have an extremely narrow pelvic bone.

3. If I'm going to be a surrogate for anyone, it would be a family member or close friend.

Maybe this sounds a bit crass, but if you have 2 bio children already... ADOPT. There are soooo many children who desperately need a stable, loving home. It makes me really sad when people don't take the route of adoption when they can't conceive after they already have multiple bio children.

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