Would you have sex while your infant was in bed with you?

Katherine - posted on 06/17/2012 ( 36 moms have responded )





Swedish moms are already known to benefit from living in a country with universal healthcare and outstanding maternity leave policies. Now, it appears they also have more sex. Mothers living in the "land of the midnight sun" may have even found a solution to age-old questions American parents are still asking: Where and when do you have sex once kids are in the house?

Uh, no......ok maybe one time. It was a moment. We couldn't control ourselves :/


Stifler's - posted on 07/01/2012




me either my room is my sanctuary, the rest of the house reeks of "kids live here" or "no one civilised lives here".

Rosie - posted on 06/30/2012




in the same bed? um no...how would they manage to do that anyway? wouldn't all the rocking the bed shake the child awake? lol. i have had sex with the child in his crib in the same room...but wouldn't do it for fear of smooshing or waking up the child. besides no child of mine will ever be in my bed so this would never happen, lol. i'm not a fan of having kids in bed with me.

Mrs. - posted on 06/25/2012




No...not out of prudishness, we just don't co-sleep and I never wanted to wake her if she was in the room.

The dog, however...every dog to herself. If she really feel the need to stay on the bed when we are having sex, she can. Most times though, she gets freaked and runs to her pillow. I wouldn't let her being in the room or on the bed stop me.

So, no to the infant, yes to our little dog.

Denikka - posted on 06/18/2012




I guess I'm going to be the odd man out, but this is something that is not unusual in my house. We have 2 beds pushed together (a queen and a double). Our son goes to sleep in his own bed (now) and, until recently, used to wake up and come in to snuggle in the middle of the night. Our daughter falls asleep with us and has since birth (our son used to do the same).
We have no problem with it. The kids are asleep. If she wakes up (super rarely) or if our son comes in on us, we stop and put them back to sleep, then continue. We frequently (90% of the time) move onto the unoccupied bed (usually the queen) just because there's more room. We don't have to worry about accidentally bumping and waking up one of the children.
As our son has gotten older (he's 3yrs 3mo right now) we have gotten more conscious of when and where we have sex. But having either of them asleep in the room sure doesn't stop us :P


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Kristi - posted on 07/21/2012




Mary Walker--

Are you a rabbit or still in your 20's? lol Although I could never bring myself to have sex while the baby was in the room, going for a ride and gettin a lil sumpin sumpin, sounds like a fantastic way to keep things alive, providing one(or should I say two) can still fit in the car that way, not to mention still has the flexibilty required for such a feat! ; D

User - posted on 07/21/2012




i wouldn't even have sex in the same room let alone the same bed, i used to move the basket outside the bedroom or in my other son bedroom and then move it back, alot of hassle i no but if i was ever going to have a life thats what i felt i had to do, if i had woke him because we wanted sex i would of been angry with myself and it would have been me who had to stay up lol.

Proud - posted on 07/15/2012




Uh no. We wait until she is asleep in her crib and then we put a blanket over the rails so that she can't see anything.

Mary - posted on 07/15/2012




I've had sex while my baby was in the bed plenty of times. If my kids are asleep we'll have sex anywhere in the house. Sometimes if we feel like it during the day we tell them we are going to the shops then we drive to the next street and have sex in the car. lol

Brittiany - posted on 07/04/2012




I co-slept for almost three months. It was funny when my boyfriend tried to get frisky in the middle of the night he'd reach over and get a handful of our daughters head ^.^ but when I was able to after she fell asleep I would put her in the bassinet and end up down and dirty with my man lol

Kelina - posted on 06/30/2012




a few times with my two oldest, the youngest is too young for me to even have had sex comfortably. my daughter it was difficult cause she was such a light sleeper but my son slept like the dead as long as he was in our bed. if he was in his bassinet it was weirder because he woke up so easily.

Elfrieda - posted on 06/28/2012




Ha. I can't imagine. We couldn't even read in the same room when he was younger because he woke up every time a page was turned. (when he was in a bassinet we put him to sleep in our room then pulled him out into the hall when we wanted to go into the bedroom) Even now he needs a dark room and white noise to sleep and we DON'T go in there unnecessarily... it's a big risk!

[deleted account]

We co-sleep with our new baby Willow. We have sex with her sleeping in her bassinet which is arms reach away. Gabby on the other hand, if she were sleeping in the room it would be no. Shes old enough to remember something like that if she woke up.

[deleted account]

Yeah- we've had sex and fooled around when my son was sleeping ont he other side of our huge California King size bed. The cat is there too! He's sleeping. He has no clue. Sometimes things just happen. Sometimes my son sneaks into the bed and I have no clue he is even there!

Tam - posted on 06/25/2012




ya, have had a lot of sex while baby in bed. huge bed, baby up in corner. this probably sounds nuttier (but i've had other friends who have done this) but 2 times we had sex in bed while i was nursing. sex in the infant days was a struggle for sure, it wasn't very frequently when i even wanted it.

Janice - posted on 06/22/2012




This may sound crazy but my hubby and I began dating at 15. So we had lots of sneaking around sex. So sometimes (not always) sneaking around, like when the baby is sleeping in the bassinet right next to us, makes us feel young again. Its not a mood killer cause it brings back the old feelings.

Faye - posted on 06/21/2012




NO! Daughter slept in the bassinet next to the bed and went to her crib at about 3 months. Son always slept in his crib as we had moved cities and the new house had smaller rooms.

We moved back to our home town when son was 17 months old and lived at my parents for a while. Son slept with our room in his crib. I had to learn to be quiet as not to wake the child. We had time to ourselves one afternoon a week so that was when we got crazy.

[deleted account]

no. i had sex with my son in the room once (in hiw own crib) when he was sleeping and that was so weird we never did it again. i just can't get in to enjoy it and am too worried about waking him up and just find it odd.

Barb - posted on 06/18/2012




Even if baby is in the same room that's not going to happen. I know he won't know what's going on, but that's just too weird. I would never do any sexual acts no matter how the my child is in the same room let alone the same bed.

Stifler's - posted on 06/18/2012




We wake renae just by talking in our room when she's having a nap these days. That kid is going to drive me insane.

Lady Heather - posted on 06/18/2012




I think at this point the bed next to my 8 month olds crib makes more sense than the couch. Our couch is literally right outside my 3 year olds bedroom. Yeah, she goes to bed early. But sometimes she gets up to pee. If we didn't hear her walking she could easily just open the door and see us there. We taught her to knock before coming in our room so it's safer.

Jodi - posted on 06/18/2012




A few times, we have a big bed, baby over on one side, hubster and me on the other. Babies never woke up once, no different than if they were in their crib next to the bed really. Although, having them in their own rooms definately makes sex more fun! lol

I really don't see it as a big deal, sex is so freakin' taboo in this day and age. Nobody wants to admit they have it, but hello, the world would end if everyone stopped having sex! lol It's normal and natural.

Vicki - posted on 06/18/2012




A couple of times, and one of those he was in the cot next to the bed, not actually in the bed.

I don't see why this article sees it as so shocking. I'm sure the Swedes aren't the only culture where this is normal.

Lisa - posted on 06/18/2012




No because my kids are light sleepers and would have woken up at the slightest movement. Plus they were always in the crib too :-P

Krista - posted on 06/18/2012




We never bedshared, so it wasn't really an issue. Our son did room with us until he was two months old, in his own bassinet, and I think we might have done it once during that time, but only once he was SOUND asleep (I'd had an episiotomy, and so needed time to heal anyway).

Janice - posted on 06/18/2012




Yes, 1x when my daughter was an infant. Many times with my daughter or son in the bassinet. I have super short babies so they fit in the bassinet a long time :)
Of course sex is louder and more fun when they are in their own rooms. My daughter always napped in her crib and started sleeping in her crib at night at 10 months. We had a lot of sex in other rooms when she was little. My son has been a much better sleeper so has spent the 1st half of the night in his crib since he was only a few weeks.
Once a baby is older I think its not okay. It was definitely not top choice when my daughter was little but it seems down right creepy the older she got.

I really don't understand how small children interfere in a couples sex life. They go to bed early and take naps so renting a room like one woman noted in the article seems quite extreme.

Jenni - posted on 06/18/2012




I couldn't do it. The couch was our friend when my children slept in our room. I coslept at night for the first 6 months and we managed just fine to fit in some time when they were napping in their cot during the day. You're not even suppose to have sex (medically speaking) while they're newborns. Sure, our sex life isn't quite what it use to be before having kids... we've had to get more creative to maintain it. It'd be too weird though to have sex with my infant laying next to me. For one, wouldn't it wake them up? I don't know if it's just me but I can't mix sex with mothering. Even when my husband would sensually rub my thigh while I was nursing, I'd push his hand away. It was like, "Nope. I have my mom hat on right now."

Date nights (or just a few hours where the grandparents take the kids out somewhere) are great if you can manage it, there's always naps and for us it was just waiting until they were more independent for our sex life to return full force. My two are fairly close in age so we managed to schedule their naps at the same time so we could have our "couple time" and keep our bonds strong as husband and wife. When they're a bit older, they can go outside to play for a bit or you can put one of their favourite shows/movies on. The early years are a bit harder and you have to get creative but it's manageable until they become more independent.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 06/18/2012




Never. My son has always slept in his own bed. With my daughter, she slept with me for the first 18 months and no, no sex with her in the bed, ever.

Stifler's - posted on 06/17/2012




No. My kids always slept in their own beds by 10 weeks Logan was in his own room and by a week old renae was in her own room, and we have sex in our bed in our room. It's really not that hard to have a sex life with kids. We may have had sex with Logan in the bassinet as a newborn. But not in our bed. We also have sex or a nap in our bed when they have their day time naps in their rooms.

Lady Heather - posted on 06/17/2012




Not in our bed. But her crib is right next to it. I have no idea why the bars make such a big difference. They just do.

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