Would you let your 2.5 yr old go out of state for the weekend with the grandparents?

Mabel - posted on 05/30/2011 ( 32 moms have responded )

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I was asked over the weekend if my son could go to Alabama with his grandparents.They are going to see a friend who is due to have a very important surgery and they want to see her before she goes in.She has not met my son in person but has talked to him on Skype a few times.I personally took him out of state a few times but I am his mother.Do you think it is a good idea or do I need to wait until he is older and can make the decision for himself ?? I told them my husband and I would think about it,but this will be the longest he has been away from me .He does go to his grandparents almost every weekend but if he wants he can come home at anytime.This will be in another state so if he has a hard time then I won't be there for him.What do you think ?

Thank you...

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/31/2011

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Tonya "When he stays with them he goes to his cousins and they take him to the grocery store and other places.He loves to go to town and he has asked to come home one time that I know of.I know they will take care of him.I just worry that he will miss me too much.I like having my personal time and I enjoy when he is at their house for a night.Don't get me wrong i miss him that one night too but I sometimes wish for a longer weekend ...=).I think he would be ok and he is an independent kid."


I think it is gonna be harder on you, not him. I say give it a try, and give yourself a nice relaxing weekend.

Becky - posted on 05/31/2011

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Yeah, I'd have to say I totally agree with your decision. I'd probably let my parents take my son camping or to stay in a hotel and go to an amusement park out of province. But to go visit someone he'd never met, in a situation where they'd probably be sitting around that person's house (or the hospital?) visiting most of the time and where your parents might be trying to keep him quiet, out of their friend's stuff, etc, just does not sound to me like it'd be fun for anyone! I imagine everyone would end up regretting it!

Candyce - posted on 05/30/2011

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Got to add this: If it's only the missing them part (which sucks like hell, and can get you weepy after the second or third day) then let them go! if the grandparents are sensible enough with kids, and your own loves the grands and can live peaceably for a few days, I say take the vacation, lol. You won't get many of them as a mother. Yes, you'll get antsy, but call at least once a day before they go to bed to do the "I love you" routine, so you'll both feel better. Cry if you want to, and weep when you get your baby back, but absolutely enjoy the precious few baby-free days you have!

Candyce - posted on 05/30/2011

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If you and his father are comfortable with it, then let him go. Otherwise, HELL NO!!!! Personally, I'm a kinda clingy mama (to a point). My son has never been with anyone he hasn't known from birth, other than one very close family friend. And he's only been out of town once in life without me (with my own aunt for three days). In the end, it's up to you.

Rosie - posted on 05/30/2011

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i would do it, but i don't really have a problem with my family taking my kids, lol. hell then can take em for a few weeks....
bottom line, i don't really have a problem with it. i think it's good for kids to be away from their parents for periods of time. gives them a bit of independence and realization that mommy and daddy aren't always going to be the ones to handle their problems. it all depends on your parenting style though i guess. if you're super uncomfortable with it then wait. :)

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[deleted account]

It really depends on your comfort level. I have let my little one go to my parents for a week at a time starting when she was 8 months old. I was weaning her from breastfeeding at the time and ever since we have let her go for a week every so often (she is almost two now). My parents live a few hours drive away but she talks to them every night and if she ever wanted to come home she always could. She never does, she loves being with her mommo and pompo... BUT that being said, I wouldn't trust my husbands parents with my little one for more than a day and she has never spent the night with them even once. It doesn't sound fair but my husband and I are comfortable with my parents and not comfortable with his. You can always do a trial run for a weekend, where he stays with them the entire time without you and your husband there and see how he does if you have time before their trip.



In the end, I am afraid that it is going to be way harder on you than it will be on him especially if he has never really been away from you before. I still have trouble letting my little one go on her trips.

Bonnie - posted on 05/31/2011

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I wouldn't be comfortable with it, but that is me. If you are okay with it, than go for it!

Charlie - posted on 05/31/2011

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My two and a half year old is going to perth in a month for a whole week with his grandmother with whom he has a very close bond and spends one or two overnights with her every week , he is super excited to go on the plane with grandma , I love that he has such a great relationship with her that he is equally as comfortable with her .

Jenn - posted on 05/31/2011

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OK - now that's even more odd to me that they have friends come to their house but they don't go to their friend's house. Do they not want to or are they not allowed to - I just wonder based on your statement of "it was a different time and also a different world".

I also didn't realize that we all suddenly jumped ship and now live in another world. Silly me, and here I thought I was still an Earthling. :P

Teresa - posted on 05/31/2011

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@Jenn I don't see it as odd they have friends come spend the night with them but no they do not go spend the night with other children and yes as kids we all did the sleepover thing but it was a different time and also a different world

Jenn - posted on 05/31/2011

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@Teresa - Well, I'm pretty sure we all want our kids with us at any age - I just find it odd that a 12 year old has never spent the night away from home at all - not even at a friend's house. Do kids not do sleep-overs these days? And am I that old that I seriously just asked a question like that?!? LMAO!!!

Teresa - posted on 05/31/2011

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they cryed as babies not as 12 year olds but they are not interested in spending the night anywhere now but yes at 12 I still want my children with me.

Mabel - posted on 05/31/2011

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Well we were talking about that too Becky and I just don't see how having a toddler running around under foot plus all the noise and commotion he can cause could be really beneficial to the friends sanity.I know how I am when I am just sick with a cold =( but I just couldn't imagine being sick enough for surgery and having a toddler.=)I don't think it was a very well thought out plan to take him with them.

Becky - posted on 05/30/2011

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Yeah, I don't know. I think I'd be okay with my parents taking my oldest out of the province for the weekend, depending on where they were going and why. And as long as it was my dad who was driving! I don't trust mom's driving! But the situation you're describing would make me hesitate a bit... is this friend of theirs visibly ill? Because if that were the case, I would not be comfortable sending my child to visit a stranger to him who was visibly ill. I'd think it'd just raise too many questions that I wouldn't be there to answer. And I can't see something like that being fun or comfortable for him either.

Mabel - posted on 05/30/2011

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Well I talked it over with the husband and he actually told me he wasn't comfortable with the idea and I respect that he is trying to be a great dad and thinking about this .I am going to agree with him and tell them no.Maybe when Devin is older and can voice his yay or nay but right now I and hubby have to think and do what is best so,he gets to stay home with us next weekend.I personally am just not to keen on the idea of him being 4-5 hrs away just yet.Besides I can still enjoy myself w/my family at home with me...thanks everyone for the input!!!=)

Jenn - posted on 05/30/2011

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Yeah, I'm with you Teresa - at 12 to not spend the night anywhere? Don't they go to slumber parties with friends or anything?

Jenn - posted on 05/30/2011

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For me personally, no I wouldn't - but then again my kids are hardly ever away from me. My girls have NEVER spent the night anywhere without me.

[deleted account]

Teresa (and yes, it's weird for me to type that name and be talking to someone else....), at 12? Really? My girls HAVE been doing overnighters w/ their grandparents since 3, but my dad lives 15 minutes away from here. My NOW 3 year old has only ever done overnighters w/ his father though... and that's court ordered.

I don't have a problem w/ overnighters/weekends, but to go out of state.... I'd be an airplane ride away from my kids and THAT part I have a problem w/.... If I can drive to them in about an hour.... have at it (w/ my 9 year twins at least... not my son... yet). ;)

[deleted account]

Yes, I would let my kid go. If you trust these people and your son is comfortable...and it seems like that's the case. But you better believe I'd call every single day. :)

Tah - posted on 05/30/2011

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call me a free range parent but heck yeah..i never knew there were parents who didnt until i came to COM, unless there was a serious issue with the grands. I think its nice they want to take her because there are grandparents that couldn't care less about their grandkids. If the child is comfortable and has spent time with the grandparents on numerous occasions then i say why not, spend some time with the husband, take a few days to not pick up toys..have some fun. i say yes.

Constance - posted on 05/30/2011

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I would make the decision based on how you feel. If you aren't comfortable enough with them taking him for the whole weekend then don't let them. My youngest is 6 and in Feb was the first time my mom kept them mor than a few hours and my oldest is 15. It depends on you and no matter what you chooseit is your choice.

Teresa - posted on 05/30/2011

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ours tried the grandparent sleepover thing but they cryed to come home in the middle of the night ,if he is comfortable spending the night with them then he should do just fine but if he crys to come home in the middle of the night then I wouldn't unless you want to be on the road in the middle of the night

Mabel - posted on 05/30/2011

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@ Teresa , I understand Teresa but like I said he has been spending nights with his grandparents since he was born and I know they will take care of him .

Teresa - posted on 05/30/2011

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my twin daughters are 12 and we still don't let them spend the night with anyone and I would definately not let them go out of town without me or their dad but as everyone else says it really depends on your comfort level.If you are going to worry yourself sick if you let him go then you should not let him go it may hurt his grandparents feelings but alot of decisions are tough in parenting.my husband and I just tell everyone that we can't sleep unless our kids are here.

Jocelyn - posted on 05/30/2011

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It depends. I would let my MIL or my dad and step mom take my kids out of province, but I wouldn't let my mom and her boy friend take my kids.
If you think your son can handle it, then I see no reason not too.

Ashley - posted on 05/30/2011

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Well, as long as you're comfortable with it. :] Time apart makes the heart grow fonder. ♥

My daughter hasn't gone on any trips with her grandparents yet but I have taken two trips away from her since she was born. I missed her so much but it was still nice to have some me time..

Mabel - posted on 05/30/2011

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When he stays with them he goes to his cousins and they take him to the grocery store and other places.He loves to go to town and he has asked to come home one time that I know of.I know they will take care of him.I just worry that he will miss me too much.I like having my personal time and I enjoy when he is at their house for a night.Don't get me wrong i miss him that one night too but I sometimes wish for a longer weekend ...=).I think he would be ok and he is an independent kid.

Corinne - posted on 05/30/2011

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If you don't feel comfortable with it, don't do it! I left my little ones with my M.I.L last march, to go on a 48 hr trip to Amsterdam as our honeymoon. I wasn't comfortable with the idea at all as the kids were 3.5 and 1.5 yrs old and would be staying with unfamiliar people (they only see that side of the family once every 4-8 weeks, depending) in an unfamiliar house and town. I eventually caved in and said okay, but I broke my heart and worried about the kids all the time. When we got back it turned out my M.I.L had left the kids with my 18yr old S.I.L who's a bit dippy, and had done all the things I'd asked her not to. Still get guilt when I think about it.

Ashley - posted on 05/30/2011

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It really depends. If you're not comfortable with it, I wouldn't go through with it. If he's used to his grandparents and they can handle him without having any issues.. I don't think it would be too bad. Like Krista said, Have they ever taken him on day trips?

I would miss the heck out of my little girl but if my parents wanted to take her for a weekend somewhere else, I'd be okay with it. I know they can handle her fine and they've taken her on day trips before.

[deleted account]

I wouldn't, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't. It depends on your circumstances, your comfort level, and that of your son.

Lady Heather - posted on 05/30/2011

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I would if it was the right grandparents. My mum and stepdad or my inlaws could totally take the kid to Alberta. Next year we'll be spending a week somewhere sunny while the inlaws look after the kiddos and the youngest will only be about 14 months old.

Dad and his girlfriend though? Definitely not. If a baby cries they get all confused. I find it hard to believe my dad spent so many nights walking around with my colicky brother. He's totally clueless now.

Krista - posted on 05/30/2011

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I think it really depends on your own comfort level. His grandparents are obviously used to having him around on weekends, so it's not like you have to worry about them not being able to handle him. Have they done any sort of travel with him before -- even just little day trips? Having a kid at your home for a weekend IS different from traveling with one for a weekend.

As well, how often does he ask to come home when he IS at the grandparents'? Every time? Often? Only once in a blue moon? If he often wants to go home, then the odds are very good that he'd want to go home during this trip. If it's only once in a very odd while, then the odds are lower.

It's really up to your own comfort level, I suppose. I wouldn't feel comfortable with my own toddler traveling away somewhere overnight without me, but my kid is younger, and that's just my own personal preference.

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