Cant stop worrying...Please Help...

Marissa - posted on 03/31/2010 ( 16 moms have responded )

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My 2yr old opened her window and climbed out of her room at around 9pm on sat march 27th. She usually palys in her room till 930or 10pm and then when it gets quiet she has passed out in the floor so i go put her in bed and turn off the light. Well sat it got quiet so i waited till a comercial came on to go put her in bed and when i walked in the room the curtain was hanging outside the window and i screamed and took off out the front door pausing long enough to tell my husband she was gone. We looked everywhere and the neighbors helped us look. I called 911 and they sent cops and fire dept to help look. My husband found her a block away cold and wet in someones front yard. She managed to get down a 75ft embankment and across a street to get where she was. She was not hurt or even scared. I dont think she even knows she did anything wrong. We have screwed her windows shut so i know she cant get out but i still have this horrible feeling of panic now when she gets quiet and i cant see her. Is there any whay i can get rid of these feelings and stop worrying so much. Please help....

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Kristin - posted on 04/05/2010

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Sounds very scary Marissa! I would have a hard time leaving my child's side if I had been through something like that. Have you considered seeking counseling? It might help to talk it over with a professional, because there could be some PTSD. The therapist might be able to help you deal with any feelings of guilt that you may have as well as the anxiety, and help you come up with coping mechanisms.

Chezronda - posted on 04/02/2010

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Hi Marissa, I read your story, and I would be pretty worried as well. I would say nailing the windows shut was an extreme idea if thats the last resort to keeping her in her room. My son is two, and normally doesn't fall asleep until 10pm or 11pm. He is hard-headed when it comes to sleep, he loves to fight it, as if he's going to miss out on something. My son hasn't moved yet to a toddler bed, so when he doesnt want to sleep, he is still put in his crib. I would suggest trying to get her on a sleep schedule since she isn't in a crib anymore. Try a bath before bed, or reading while she is in bed, on a nightly basis, so she can understand that at that time, it means bed time! Oh, and I hope your nerves settle soon, past mistakes can be learned from!

Lea - posted on 04/01/2010

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2 years old and going to bed at 10? Wow... you let her pass out on the floor? You don't read her stories and give her a hug and tuck her in? :( Please, can't you turn off the TV and spend some time with your child, and then you will know where she is. There is also an expensive baby monitor you can get that has a TV screen. My son is 2 and his bed time is 7:30 - 8 pm. He sleeps to 7-8 am in the morning.

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Lea - posted on 04/21/2010

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I agree that mistakes happen thats not the issue I was shocked about. It was the routine (or lack of) that Marissa has for her child. Early childhood is the foundation for life and these things should be taken seriously. I want only the best for Marissa and her kid(s) and I fear that this could be the first of more problems to come caused by lack of supervision / involvement / order in the home. Obviously I'm not the only one that is concerned, thank you Michelle. Sorry but I don't see how our comments are unhelpful. No, my son doesn't play in his room alone he plays in the living room where I can see him.

S. - posted on 04/16/2010

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marissa you are beating your self up enough please dont let your self be beat up any more by un helpful comments,
my 3 year old swallowed a penny and was lucky to be alive, guess what it was my fault for leaving the penny around and there's not a day goes by i dont thank my lucky star's to still have her, but misstakes happen cos we are human, i never left penny's around again and the guilt you feel is over powering you dont stop wishing for the clock's to be turned back so you would prevent it from happening again.
humans sometimes get thing's wrong,

Haley - posted on 04/14/2010

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I have a book shelf in front of my daughters window so she can not get out. We put her down at about 8. We recently got a video monitor and it is great... we also learned she doesnt really go to bed til about 10. But with the video monitor we can see her and know she is safe.

Becky - posted on 04/11/2010

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Ladies, what time you choose to put your kids to bed is your decision, and what time she decides to put her child in bed is her decision. I have a two year old and I'm 5 months pregnant. I can't have my eyes on her 24/7, especially once her brother shows up, and please, don't try and tell me that you never leave your kids alone in a room.

Marissa, if you are having that hard of a time getting past it, maybe you could talk to a counselor.

Sue - posted on 04/06/2010

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It's a normal response to panic when something like that happens I freaked when I went in my daughters room at nap time and she wasn't in her bed even though I knew that she couldn't phtsically get out of the room! (She was sat behind the door). Only time will get rid of the guilt and panic so just take it slow and make sure all the windows that she has access to are locked 2 year olds are inquisitive and quick so don't assume she won't do it again.

Michelle - posted on 04/06/2010

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omg a 2 yr old shouldnt been left alone anyway put a gate fence around your house Children at the age of 2 should be in bed by say 7 to get enough sleep to function during the day there was a study in britan that 90% of children to start school are sleep deprived and have learning problems

Lea - posted on 04/02/2010

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I just read what was written and it was shocking. Sorry. I don't believe in sugar-coating info for people. Thats just me... especially when I child is involved.

Susan - posted on 04/01/2010

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I felt you were making assumptions, how do you know she hasn't already read a story and tucked her in, and not everyone can get there child down at a decent hour...or want to. My child goes to daycare and we don't get home until 6:00pm, with dinner and bath it will almost be 7pm andI like to spend a little time with my child before putting him to bed. I read stories, give lots of hugs and kisses, and we lay down at round 8:30, but it still takes sometimes until 9:30 for him to go down. I just felt you were making comments on something that was not thoroughly discussed and made assumptions. And you may not have mean to come across like this, but I also felt you were giving us the whole 'I raise my child right so everyone must do it like me' attitude. Every child is different, and it sometimes takes all you have to get you child to sleep. I have to constantly change and adjust my strategy as my little guy grows, and becomes more independent everyday.

Anyway Marissa, good luck and I'm sure that was one of the scarest moments for you. I'm so glad you were lucky to find her and she was OK.

Dara - posted on 04/01/2010

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No one said that your suggestions weren't valid, I think you made a good point. I just think you could have said it a bit differently is all. I would have felt a wee bit on the attacked side if those comments were geared towards myself but that is just my own opinion. And we are all entitled to our own, that's the great thing about the world we live in right?! Happy Easter Moms!

Lea - posted on 04/01/2010

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Dara and Susan, are you serious? I'm sorry but I believe my suggestions are valid. I thought Marissa was looking for help and my suggestions are to read her a story and tuck her in at night at a reasonable hour and if she needs more reassurance, get a video monitor.

Dara - posted on 04/01/2010

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Right there with ya Susan on the support issue...rather than bashing and making personal attacks. Like my Mom always told me, if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all! :) Keep your head up Marissa :)

Susan - posted on 04/01/2010

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I know that has to be upsetting, wow I would freak out too! But if you made it to where you KNOW she can't get out the window again, then only time will make your fear wane. But like another poster said, you alarms on the windows or a video monitor may help.

BTW, support is much better than judgement Lea.....

Dara - posted on 03/31/2010

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Wow, I would being worrying as well, don't make yourself feel bad because you are worrying about this. I don't know if you are famailiar with ADT the alarm company and the monitors they put on windows that beep when opened...well you can buy ones you just put a battery in and put that up there as well. They also have the video baby monitors...they are a bit over a $100 bucks I think, so kind of expensive but if that's what it takes to put your mind at ease. But honestly it sounds like you have made it to where she won't be doing it again. Also I can nearly guarantee she has no idea how serious what she did was so maybe you need to sit her down and explain it to her. That it's not ok to leave the house without Mommy or Daddy. But you don't want to scare her. I have never been in that situation but I really hope I've helped some.

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