help I made a biter!!!

Pamela - posted on 07/12/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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my little man is 18 month he is full on full of energy but very loving and friendly but I've made a big mistake when raising him so far ..

I love playing rough (I have read it very good for boys to play rough so they learn boundrie's) I used to say I love you give him a big cuddle and chomp on him to make him laugh I never actually bit him. We have just had a another son 4 month old and about 3 months ago he started to bite him he would slowly put his mouth to him ( as if to kiss him) and then just bite down. I knew straight away this was my doing so when ever he tried to do it he went in the naughty spot and after about 2 months ( as he only bit once a week or so ) he stopped now all of sudden he has started it again at crèche and has bitten a little boy on the head! I was mortified, What can I do? do I just keep going with the naughty spot? but he doesn't do it at home or when I am with him. I have told them at the crèche what to do and they said they will follow it but I feel so bad. any ideas?

YES I know this is my fault and I am making sure not to make the same mistake with anything else it sure has made me think about the way I play with him now.


Also he has loads of teeth coming in he seems to get worse when they are coming through does this happen to anyone else.

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Kathryn - posted on 08/12/2009

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My boy bites occasionally, more so when teeth are coming. I just tell him no and move him away from me and stop giving him my time for a short while. Sometimes I think it is his way of trying to get my attention in a way he would otherwise do if he could speak.

[deleted account]

This is funny because I think we did the same thing. But, my 19-month-old has taken it to a new level in that he's learned it's a very effective communication method when he's mad or frustrated. We now have a serious biting problem that we are working on and actually making progress on. I've copied most of my e-mail to another post conversation to make sure you see it but you might want to read the conversation about "would you bite your child" since there's a lot of discussion there too.



We've solved our biting issues with our son at home but not yet at preschool or when we're out and about. Here's how my husband and I solved the problem at home. Every time he bit us, one of us said "uh-oh" and picked him up and put him in his crib. We said, "you can come out when you can be nice" and left him there for a few minutes. He cried the entire time. We picked him up, gave him a hug, and went on with whatever we were doing before he bit. He no longer bites at home, though he starts to but remembers in time.



For school, we are going to try the method my niece did with her daughter. She pinned a teething ring to her daughter's shirt and they told her to bite that instead, She didn't like the teething ring hanging there and gave up biting pretty quickly. I guess I'll modify that method for church and just have one handy to give him when he starts to bite. It's worth a try. I can't say whether it will work because I just found out about this but since my son knows biting is wrong, I suspect it will work.



I hope this helps!

Pamela - posted on 08/04/2009

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thanks guys yeah he seems to have stopped biting others and now just chomps on himself occasionally I think it must be teething . he is starting to get that he can hurt people. we have been a good 3 weeks now with no biting and there are teeth coming through so fingers crossed it continues.

[deleted account]

This is a hard one. Do you know what is happening right before he is biting? Sometimes at this age kids get fustrated because they are just now learning that they are their own person and they have choices. Sometimes they bite because they are frustrated and that is the only way to lash out. Is the other child doing something to him? He can't use his words yet to relay the message of leave me alone. If the other child isnt' doing anything then yes maybe he thinks he is loving on him or maybe yes his teeth hurt and it really feels good to chomp down he just didn't know it hurt the other child! I would keep sitting him out away from other kids when he does it. No longer than a minute though. And tell him No that hurts and show him the child he bit. If you think its his teeth they do have chewing tablets and you can always get him one of those teething toys. Don't get discouraged just keep consistancy and soon he will learn that doesn't make mommy or my friend happy!

Angela - posted on 07/17/2009

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My daughters bite each other all the time (twins)! I have tried time-outs (which have hindered it-because now when they go in for the bite I give them a warning and they mostly stop their gesture-but sometimes the tempation is to great and they follow through!, flicking, oral-gel (for sore teeth, because I noticed that they do it more when they are getting teeth in) And everyone tells me that they will just grow out of it. Time-outs do work just for consistancy in discipline but...I don't know everyday at least one of them is in a time out for biting....still.

Don't be to hard on yourself though, kids have to learn how to be gentle when playing and that just takes time.

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