New Member NEEDS Advice!

Maranda - posted on 10/18/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hey Mommies!



My name is Maranda and I just joined your group! I am a stay-at home Mommy,married, and the mother of a 22 month old, Gracie, with a baby boy on the way! :0) He should be coming in March. My family and I live in Central NY (Syracuse area).



Now...I am starting to develop a complex, I think, lol. My 21 month old, for the most part, is a good girl. She's also a typical almost-2-years old girl. Up until a month-ish ago, I never really had to discipline her or talk to her more than twice if she was doing something naughty. But, for about the past month(...and I'm sure it's part of her independence phase...), I can't get her to listen for anything! We've tried stickers, M&Ms, a little more Dora time...to reward her when she's good...and sitting in a chair, talking to her sternly (which is very hard for me to do...I just have one of those almost-annoying-if-you're-around-it-too-long sweet voices...atleast, that's what my mom, grandma, and Aunts say...in a nicer way, lol) I simply don't have a "mean-mommy" voice that some situations require. Yesterday and the day before, Gracie had her first public meltdowns. Yeah...plural, lol. She's never misbehaved, ever, as bad as she did in the stores those days! I was so shocked at her behavior and decibal level of her screams, that I had NOOOOO idea how to handle it! She didn't want to ride in the cart, so I put her in the back, bigger part, where she usually will sit without a problem...Nope, didn't want to sit there, either. I let her help me push the cart, and that was fine...for about 45 seconds...So, I told her she could either get in the cart and ride, or she could walk next to the cart, as long as she held on....is this too much compromise?



Thennnnnn....we got to the register, and she took off halfway across the store! I brought her back, explained to her...as sternly as my voice could muster, why she shouldn't do that...yadda, yadda, yadda....She took off AGAIN! Screeeeeeaming the whole way, screaming after I put her in the cart, tried climbing out of the cart...So I hurried up and paid and took her out to the car to take her home...I'm almost 5 months pregnant, and it just doesn't feel good to run after her and pick her up swiftly. It hurts, lol. So, I take her home (screams all the way there...about a good 15 minutes). I try talking to her and all that mess again but she won't stop crying! So I leave her be, and let her work it out herself.



Same thing happens the next day, when I take my grandmother grocery shopping...She had fair warning, lol. Grandma checks out by herself bc I have to take Gracie to the car...



I am just having a horrible time deciding how much discipline is too much discipline, what type of discipline applies to which situations, and where to discipline her (in the store, at home, etc.) She's smart enough to understand what I'm saying to her. She knows what I want/ask her to do....She's always heard me out, until now, haha. I know she's smart enough to learn consequences for her actions, but I'm at a loss as to what consequences to dole out.



Someone help! Before Mommy has her own meltdown! haha

2 Comments

View replies by

Kathy - posted on 10/21/2009

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I do time--outs as well. They were pretty effectively with my daughter. She has interrupted dinners and when she does we leave to go to the bathroom where I can correct her 1 time 1 warning. If she doesn't comply we simply sit in the car until everyone else is finished when we're out to eat. At home I make her sit in the time out chair. She HATES that chair and most of the time before I do the infamous count to 3 she quits her fit for fear of the time out.

Susan - posted on 10/19/2009

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Ahh girls, this is just now starting for you..lol..I have a boy and have been going through this for some time now. I too am pregnant and about at me wits end sometimes, plus I work full time, so I am so tired and feel like I just can't handle it sometimes.



Long and short of it, I use timeout...anywhere. I do them at home, and in public if I have to. At home I use the same spot, and make him sit there for either 1 minute, or until he calms down. The first couple of times it's hard, and you will find yourself having to put them back many times. It took me over an hour the first time, but it gets easier. I tell him why I put him there "you are in timeout for hitting, you will sit here for one minute". Then when time is up I smile and have him come to me and give me a hug and we move on. Now I'm at the point I can almost just say 'do you want to go to timeout' and he will act better...almost, we still have to do it sometimes.



In public if he starts acting up, I'll find a 'out of the way spot' and pretty much do the same thing. He still cries and carries on, but most people appreciate what you are doing and don't seem to be as annoyed as they would if you just let them cry and scream and do nothing. I'm sure others all have their ideas and ways, so I'm sure you'll get some other tips to. But this works for us...good luck, and hang in there!

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