social interaction ?

Pamela - posted on 07/25/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Cameron is 2.5 and is generally a very good kid. He is used to being around other kids and goes to daycare 2 days a week and we have play dates and such with other kids.

his communication is a bit behind and we see a speech therapist for it and recently joined a talk and play playgroup. When we go he is really well behaved until anything remotely structured comes along like when the teacher put some music on for dance time and he ran the the mat and said DANCING and started dancing as soon as everyone else came in to dance he refused to take part I had to phyiscally hold him down so he wouldn't go running off to do his own thing. Then they sat down for fruit time and Cameron did not want to sit there so I sat him  out for a minute until he calmed down  then he came back and sat nicely and ate.

I notice at daycare during story or music time he will go and do his own thing and not sit with the rest of the kids. He loves stories and music so its not about likes.

Lately he has been wanted to join in with other kids running around with them joining in what they are doing and alot of the time he is told to go away by the other kids his age or slightly older ( especially girls it seems) . It has always been like this for him since being very young, I know the other kids are not trying to be nasty it just worries me that this might be affecting his confidence when it comes to playing with others.
At daycare he has a few friends and one girl in particular but she is nearly 4.

I guess my question from other mums would be. Is this just a normal 2.5 year old behavior or is it because of his trouble with communication or something else?

We are going to keep trying but it seems its a bit of a struggle at the moment.
 

9 Comments

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Riham - posted on 08/24/2010

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my son in the same age but he didn't go to the nursery till now as i am a house wife ,, but he is aggressive ,, refuse to say ok mom if i ask him to do any thing he makes me mad ,, but actually he succeed in the potty training ,, and his language is clear and he speak very well (talkative ) what i can not do is to stop him shouting and screaming most of the time ,, saying bad things i really need help

Pamela - posted on 08/19/2010

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heheh yes he already has the girls interested.. I also have a 17 month old who is King pin of being social. bossing people around telling people off, joining in with older kids.. and he can talk very well for his age.. he just oozes confidence

Jamie - posted on 08/19/2010

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Ya all kids develope at diffrent rates, Mines the only one in our lil group who isnt a single child, In a way I think it makes a diffrence, Shes got 24/7 interaction. lol Thanks! My son was 9 months when we took that pic,hes now 14 months n shy to strangers but loves to play with the older kids and is almost as physicly active as they are just not vocal yet! lol Keep up the social interactions and like I said encorage him, Trust me it does help! You will see much more improvement as time goes by hes just a little shy is my guess.Good luck! In time hell be the teen boy with all the girls hanging around him because hes the sensitive one! lol

Pamela - posted on 08/19/2010

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Thanks Jamie ( I love your picture) Cameron is very good at sharing and turn taking its just seems to be group things that are adult led he has a problem with but as you said I will continue to encourage him and he will get there and I reading raising boys at the moment and it says in there social boys take a bit longer to play with others and really know what you want from them. Since I first posted this he has been going to Monday playgroup, Monday therapy and Friday play therapy and with each time I see am improvement.. Its interesting how each of the girls you mentions is developing differently.

Erika I love how different professionals say different things everyone tells me my son does not have a speech delay only the professional do friends and family seem to think he is fine and will come along on his own.
He can say 5 word sentences for instance " come on mumma lets play" sometimes even more he knows all his animals his alphabet and can count to 27 clearly, recognize words, letters and numbers and he has started to do bits of reading and try's to write his own name.. but when you ask him what his name is he says FRTIZ!!??? but even with all these things he can do because it is linked with his lack of interested in adult led group activities Im told he is behind. Im really unsure about whether he is behind or not 20 or 30 years ago I don't think many people would have blinked twice at him. We have alot of boys and girls in our group sessions that will listen to there mums really well and be with them and do what they say but wont talk at all. where as Cameron is the opposite he will yak away as long as he is doing what he would prefer to do. I guess in a years time I will know weather I was right to worry or whether he is was just going through and awkward 2 - 3 year old stage

Jamie - posted on 08/19/2010

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I have a 2 year old who is very social, She has vocal probs and well be getting into speach therapy for it,but it doesnt seem to bother her at all. She doesnt like to share so she gets into fights with the other kids alot! But shes the type to go hug strangers and have them wrapped around her pinkie in seconds. lol I also babysitt 2 other 2.5-3 yr olds and they are opositt on the social scales, 1 girl shes very quiet n mostly parrots what you say, She prefers to be alone or with only 1 person,Shes the one that wanders to the corner when there is a group of people. I have to keep an eye on her in public. The other girl is extremely vocal and youd think she was 4,but she doesnt play well with others, she lies to get the quiet one in trouble, she is very controlling when it comes to play and the toys she plays with. I make all 3 of them play group games, so that they all interact and learn to play together well. All you can do is encurage playing n sharing with other kids. Some cases there might be an underlying reason they cant figure out social skills,Usually its just self esteem, Encurage him and congradulate him often when he does play with others..Hope this helps!

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wel i did think my little one wasn't talking fast enough. but when she a check up with a nurse she said it's fine. as long as they know what things are and can put two words together. she said all kids are different though. because my friends baby could say twinkle twinkle and my little one was startin to say animals and parts of the body only. and there is only 4 months between them.
wel good luck with everything. :)

Pamela - posted on 08/16/2010

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Thanks, His daycare seem to think his social skills are fine for his age but the pediatrician and speechies think he needs to work on it they say he is ata 2 year old level. He has always been a very independent little mite so getting him to do anything thats not his idea is a struggle. He is a good kid in general so for now I will focus on that and slowly encourage him to join in.

and yes Erika some young kids can be so bossy and mean, Our ped told me to hang around him and help him interact but I don't think other kids would like that too much I will just let him try and find his own space in the group I think and I guess if its the old saying if they going to be like that do we really want them as friends.

He is also a super big brother and talks alot to his little brother and leads the play in a very friendly way he does not boss him around and just lets Ewan ( his 17 month old brother) Tag along and will work on trying to make him laugh all the time.

thanks again these answers have put my mind at rest that yes it is just a normal 2.5 year old thing and I will not push him and he will get there on his own.

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hey i know what you mean because the same thing happened my girl and she is 2.5 aswell. i just told her to play where she wants and join in. but one girl in particular was telling her stop following them or she would push her or jump on her. i told her stop or i will tell her mother. also my girl would be out playing with the kids and she would go off on her own and play for awhile and join in again but i just think its their attention span because they are still young and exploring the world.

Mandy - posted on 08/13/2010

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I think this is mainly due to his age. I have a 2-1/2yo too who is just very busy! We haven't done anything structured with her yet. She has older siblings so we've taken her to the library for storytime but she hardly sits still. We went to the movies this past summer and again it was a struggle to get her through a movie. They should be able to be more involved in structured activities once they are 3 and approaching 4.

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