what is everyones views on spanking your child

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Rene - posted on 02/14/2012

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In truth MY childtren are mine. I feed them diffrently from you other moms I talk to them diffrently . I let them watch diffrent rated movies than all of you. I spanked them but that was a each child treated special and diffrent. I am also a stay at home mom. When they need something I'm there and always have been. weather its a teddy bear or a binder for school or to change a flat tire in -13 weather and yes thats the range. They are MY kids I love them

Christa - posted on 04/29/2010

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I spank. My daughter is too smart for her own good, we tried the timeouts but everything is a game to her. I've found the only thing that works on her is a quick swat on the butt. I always count to three as her warning. Now I seldom ever get to 3, she'll let me get to 2 and then she does whatever I'm asking. I try not to do it, but every now and again it's needed. I never hit her very hard, I think it's more to scare/shock them then to cause actual pain. I think if you cause actual pain it's too hard.

Nicole - posted on 02/21/2012

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I only spank my son if I have tried everything else (talking, stern voice, timeout etc...) first and he is still not listening to me. Usually, even when I do spank it is a quick pop on the butt so he knows I am serious and he had better listen to me NOW. Also, sometimes I will pop him if I need him to stop doing something RIGHT NOW, like if he is about to hurt himself and then I usually will grab him too to prevent an injury.

Holly - posted on 06/11/2011

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It definitely depends on the child. My son, now 16, absolutely refused to learn any other way. When he was 5, he looked at me and said, "Ground me from my toys. I don't care. I'll just get them back in two weeks." I used time outs on him as well and they worked for mild things, but mostly they were to calm him down and refocused. My daughter never ever needed spanked. I just had to look at her and she was crying. She rarely got put in time out and she's my ADHD kid. She just needed refocused as well, but getting her to look at me and focus on what I was saying was all I needed to do for discipline with her. Now that's she's almost 13 she's had her mouth smacked a few times, but that's about it. My 3 yr old girl is a mix of both. She doesn't get spanked very often at all. Usually it's for dangerous situations. I feel if I reserve it for those situations, it makes more of an impact. She hasn't run in to the street for two years now and knows to stop and look for cars. She never plays with the electrical outlets anymore either.
My mom used a wooden board on me and it didn't scar me at all. I know people who had to choose their own switches off the tree and they are upstanding citizens and not violent at all. My son, now almost 16, isn't violent. Aside from wrestling with his buddies which I don't care for(someone is going to ge hurt!) he doesn't go around hitting people.
I just feel it depends on the child and parenting is all trial and error anyway, isn't it?! You have to find what works for your child. I completely agree there is a huge difference between spanking and abuse. I do not understand why children's services doesn't understand that. I know people who have been investigated for it. It's a waste of everyone's time when there are children who ARE being abused out there needing help.

Carla - posted on 05/05/2010

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I do the exact same thing! I spank only if necessary and when I have warned her with counting to three and usually when I say 2 she does whatever I ask. I do know my daughter understands consequences due to having develop her speech way earlier in life. My daughter knows she is not getting to play with bubbles if she does not behave accordingly so I also tell her this and it works most of the time. She is addicted to Bubbles so I know how to maniputate her this way! :) Hope this gives you some insight to minimize spanking.

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Mommy2G1B - posted on 02/23/2012

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I think that you need to know are you doing it for yourself or the child. You need to make sure you are not too angry when you are doing it or it can get out of control quick and turn into abuse. I was so angry with my daughter one day i spanked her and left my hand print felt like shit and told myself i would never spank when i was that mad again. It is a slippery slop. People are always debating whether spanking is effective, abusive, or even effective. Hitting only instills fear does not always stop the behavior.

Tiffany - posted on 02/21/2012

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I only do it when i really have to which isnt very often. My 5 year old son is a handful and tries to run over me while daddys at work.

Lyssa - posted on 02/21/2012

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i believe there is a line you should never cross when it comes to spanking your child. if no other puishment is working, then yeah, i agree a swat or two isn't goin to damage them throughout their entire lives. i don't belive in leather belts or wooden spoons, but to each their own as long as their children are happy, healthy and loving. if you spanked them and that's the case, then you did a great job!

Brenda - posted on 02/10/2012

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It really depends on the child. I have seen children that if they see you give them "the look" they will cry and stop what they are doing. My son's behavior gets worse if you pop him, he does better with talking, counting to three and time in his room. I have no IDEA why counting to three works for him. lol But, hey, I'll take it. It's important not to spank out of frustration, use as a last resort and for safety issues. I just read Holly's post and we seem to agree. :) Do what you feel is right, do it out of love and not anger and you will be fine!

Kathleen - posted on 04/28/2011

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I don't have a problem with spanking as long as it's in moderation. There are times when nothing else will work, but a swat on the butt and I'm not opposed to doing it.

Sara - posted on 04/27/2011

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i was spanked as a child with a leather belt. you heard dads belt getting taken off you ran and hid. i spank my daughter but only after ive warned her and counted to 3. she usually only lets me get to 2 and she does/stops what ever im telling her to do.

Jennifer - posted on 04/02/2011

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WOW, I am shocked about the number of people that spank/hit/swat...whatever you want to call it. I have a two year old boy that DOES NOT listen and there were many times that I felt a desire to spank him but I NEVER will. I don't feel that it solves anything!!!! They will learn at an early age that violence is OK. Just my opinion!!!!

Chesnie - posted on 04/02/2011

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I have been thinking about this. I hate to spank or swat my kiddo but sometimes she just needs it. I think those that are saying if you spank your kid for lying to you would you spank your wife for lying? That's a completely ridiculous comparison. One has nothing to do with the other. I do other methods for discipline, ie time out, redirect but sometimes those fits deserve a swat. It is not gonna permanently damage a child if it's one swat, they are not gonna remember it at 1 yr old. I don't think spanking works for me but sometimes it gets her attention, but mostly it just feeds out more crying, I realize that. My husband smacks her butt all the time and thinks cuz it worked with his 2sons it will be the same for her. I doubt just spanking them made the good kids they are today that has to do with them going to church alot, being involved in activities and having good christian parents and grandparents. My dad never touched me, my mom smacked us on the backs of our legs and that hurt but I'm not affected by it today. I can barely remember them just that it happened a few times. Oh well enough it was a conversation I read earlier from somewhere else and everyone was saying all this. Hmmm that's my soapbox!!

Jade - posted on 10/19/2010

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spanking at all isnt really good in my opinion, teaching them right from wrong is hard enough without making it worse

Chrissy - posted on 10/17/2010

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I think there's a difference in spanking and a swat on the butt to get their attention when they are doing something dangerous, like running in to the street or running off in the store, to get their attention! But spanking is not the answer to every problem!

Laura - posted on 05/17/2010

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In response to Joanne, some parents DO spank their kids out of anger, but you can't say that spanking is the parent(s)' way of taking out their anger...I, personally, will NEVER spank my child if i'm angry...it's dangerous. If one of my children need to be spanked for something, and I AM angry...they sit in timeout until I've calmed down and have a chance to re-assess the situation and see if it still deserves a spanking, or I ask my husband to met out the punishment and he does the same. and all of my friends who are parents do the same... If one parent is angry at the moment of whatever occured and a spanking is necessary, the other one steps in or punishment is put off for a moment.

Shyla - posted on 05/12/2010

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I agree with you. I'd love to see these facts Laura. Is someone going to call DCF on me because I spanked my child? that is what happened to my gf. She barely even touched her. Someone snooping peeking through windows. Maybe we wouldn't have as many problems if people didn't have to worry about the cops being called on them for trying to put their kids in checked. I was spanked too. And rarely. It took those few times before I caught on and said "hey don't do this and it won't happen". I never felt violated, hated or abused. And I never connected it with violence. This worker had the nerve to tell me not to tell my son "NO" for trying to put something into the socket. "so tell me what am I suppose to do" well she says, take him over to the toys, keep him busy on something else. Health department, go figure! How is he to know that it's not okay? I had to say look lady, you can't sugar coat everything. Kids will have to hear no, for their own good. I'm not having them run over me. But for you lucky ones bless you, I'm not so fortunate in dealing with my son. :) He doesn't give up!

Shyla - posted on 05/12/2010

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I am soo there with Christa. My boy is way too strong willed/ stubborn. I have a heck of a time with him to the point of being seriously stressed out. I've tried so many things but they just don't work. So yes I believe in spanking. I don't believe in abuse. There's a difference and I don't think he will tie spanking in with violence being okay. No matter what we say or do, they chose in the end when they are older. When I take away toys and it doesn't affect him anymore or he did something serious than yes he does get it on his little bum bum. Not every child is the same, and no matter how many ways you discipline sometimes I think that is the only way. Of course everyone has their opinions. Time outs works great for my daughter but when it comes to jr. the only thing he understands is a firm hand. So be it. I love my child and he is not beaten. He knows I love him and that is what is important.

Joanne - posted on 05/11/2010

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I personally dont agree with it..i see it more as a way for parents to release their anger than a way of diciplan for a child. I believe their are many other ways things can be dealt with than reverting to spanking.

Laura - posted on 05/07/2010

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I spank only if it's absolutely warrented. but here's my views on spanking: I was spanked as a child and it never once occured to me that because i was spanked, violence was ok. I got spanked because i did something very wrong, and i understood that. and those "experts" that say spanking children lowers their iq.... who in the world came up with THAT? I was spanked, and i have a very high IQ, as does my brother, and my daughter for that matter... and look at other countries where spanking is the standard, such as Iran... They are an extremely intelligent ppl as a general rule, and spanking is very much a part of their culture. Look at america...they've done their best to make spanking all but illegal, and hey...the general IQ has been going down...don't see what one would have to do with the other, personally, but if they're gonna throw that out there, then so am i lol.

Louise - posted on 05/06/2010

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I have spanked my daughter before once was out of pure shock she had bitten me on the leg and made me bleed. But usually I tell her no, then count to 3 then its the naughty spot for two minutes. When I go to get her she needs to say sorry and give me a cuddle. it seems to work. i do feel that mums have the short end of the stick though I was at a shopping centre the other day and a lady gave her son a smack on the bum cause he was being so rude I over heard a young girl say she should have her son taken off her for that. I felt like telling her to remember what she said when she has kids.

Stephanie - posted on 05/03/2010

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I spank too, and i hate that i have to sometimes and i usually only spank after timeout has failed. And it's never hard enough to really hurt and mostly it's just threatening that gets my daughter to behave.

DeAsia - posted on 04/29/2010

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I do it too. I have a boy and they can get out of hand especially with their mothers lol. It doesnt hurt them, it just hurts their feelings.

Jamie - posted on 04/28/2010

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I personally think that spanking a child gives them the message that violence is Ok. If you punish a child for hitting another child by spanking it defeats the purpose! I dont spank but I have been known to occasionally pop them on the hand for getting something they are not supposed to.

Sara - posted on 04/27/2010

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I truthfully believe there are times when it needs to be done. I don't think that spanking is useful all of the time and it can lead into a child believing that hitting someone is alright. I think used sparingly it's fine and only in the right situations

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