Complete night sleep

Anuradha - posted on 07/12/2010 ( 30 moms have responded )

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Hi My 12 month old baby boy still doesn't have his complete night sleep. He wakes up 2 - 3 times depending on the weather, but for sure he has to get up once in between atleast. Takes a small breast feed, and goes back to sleep. I have tried giving him water, wouldn't settle. He would only settle for a bottle of milk (formula) only if i am lucky. He cries horribly as if he has seen a bad dream and this is quiet irritating. Is it normal?

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Heidi - posted on 07/21/2010

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@Meredith:

"the umbilical cord was cut at the hospital.. at a year old children are DYING to find their independence.. by co-sleeping and whatnot, you're only spoiling the child.. "

You are kidding me, right? Yes, they cut the umbilical cord at the hospital (too soon in most cases, actually). And yes, children are searching for independence - but your statement about co-sleeping spoiling a child is patently untrue. It has been shown over and over again that children of attachment parenting households are actually more confident and independent as they grow older because their needs were met by being able to be close to their parents via co-sleeping and babywearing and breastfeeding.

"don't listen to those stupid articles about CIO methods.. they've worked all around the world.. "

Actually, the CIO method was invented by an American Pediatrician. And Ferber - the guy who made it famous has recanted on his method - saying that it is unhealthy to let your baby cry for more than 15 minutes. And all around the world, co-sleeping and attachment parenting is the norm. All around the world parents comfort their babies and are there for them when they need them (yes, even in the night). It's only in the US and Canada that this method of parenting where we ignore our children's cries for our own selfish reasons is widely accepted. All CIO teaches your baby is to shut down. It is not a healthy way to teach your baby to sleep. And it's been shown to be ineffective as well - reference the endless stories of parents who have to let their kids CIO every few weeks or every month when they need to be REtrained. So sad.

A great help for sleep issues: The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantly. Dr. Sears also has great resources for helping with sleep issues. And he doesn't advocate CIO either.

"we're actually the only ones in the world that wait to potty train their kids at 2,3,4 years old."

A total nonsequitur, but totally true as well. We have been railroaded by the big diaper corporations over the years into believing that we can't potty train early. It keeps money in the big pockets. Just like demonizing breastfeeding keeps the formula companies flush with cash. Do you know that when formula was first brought on the market it was only available by prescription and only used in those few extreme cases where mothers were truly not able to produce breast milk for their babes.

Latisha - posted on 07/22/2010

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Every baby is different. As a mom of six I know this. I have had a couple of little ones where I let them cry for a little bit and they work themselves to sleep and then I have a 2 yr old who still sleeps with mommy and daddy. My 1 yr old. Well she will occasionally sleep thru the night but more often than not she will wake up because she wants to nurse. The thing is, she doesnt nurse to eat or because she is hungry, she nurses because it is her comfort item. Personally I dont mind. When my oldest daughter was little one thing that really helped was instead of using a blanket to cover her, I covered her with the t-shirt I wore that day. It smelled like me so I assume she had the feeling that I was near her? But even after she moved into the big kid bed she would wake up in the middle of the night and climb in bed with me. I think that finally stopped when she was about 4. My second baby was about the same. My 3rd and 4th well, they slept thru the night young and stayed sleeping thru night with no problems.
Maybe try and talk to your ped. to see if they have any suggestions. I know a lot of them will tell you to let the baby cio but that isnt always an option so see if they have any other suggestions.

Heidi - posted on 07/19/2010

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The article I posted is on a pretty crunchy mama blog for sure. But the article is not all opinion based. The whole second half of it, in fact, is quotes from this blog post: http://drbenkim.com/articles-attachment-... which has many medical and scientific resources to back it up.

Here is just one quote: " Science tells us that when babies cry alone and unattended, they experience panic and anxiety. Their bodies and brains are flooded with adrenaline and cortisol stress hormones. Science has also found that when developing brain tissue is exposed to these hormones for prolonged periods these nerves won’t form connections to other nerves and will degenerate."

So what works for me is not creating undue stress and anxiety for my babies. That makes me happy. And this isn't EXTREME in the least. In the grand scheme of things, getting up with your baby once or even three times a night for a brief feeding or rocking or whatever, is no biggie. Sure, I lose a little sleep at night, but it's not like I am up ALL night long or anything. And my babes go right back to sleep 99% of the time - whether I feed/fed them or not.

Heidi - posted on 07/19/2010

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By all means, if your baby wakes hungry - FEED them! I'm not sure where the 'your baby should sleep through the night' thing came from, but it's actually VERY rare for babes to sleep through consistently, even at 1 year. Heck, even adults wake several times in the night - get a drink, go pee maybe even. There is nothing wrong with comforting your children back to sleep - and if that involves a feed, it's fine. Night waking is NORMAL for everyone.

If you thing letting your baby CIO is no big deal, read this article.: http://womanuncensored.blogspot.com/2010...

And double WOO HOO for the co-sleeping mamas. You are keeping your babies comforted and happy and you are also getting your rest as well.

[deleted account]

Children grow the most while they are sleeping and need food to keep growing healthy and strong. Their tummies are much much smaller than ours and their metabolisms are much faster. Children know when their tanks are empty and if they're empty enough to wake them up, we should help them by feeding them. It's annoying, frustrating, and sleep depriving for moms and dads alike. But it's part of parenting. I don't mean to imply that you guys aren't doing your best. But think about this from your baby's point of view. You wake up with your tummy growling and you know what you need. Babies at this age are still forming their trust in you as their care provider. Not giving baby what he/she needs sends the signal that we don't understand or don't care about what baby is saying. Plus, this stage of life goes by so quickly. One day soon we're all going to wish we were still only waking up for overnight feedings. Hang on to this precious time in your baby's life, it'll be over in the blink of an eye.

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Dawn - posted on 07/26/2010

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I feel for you although I guess I am one of the lucky ones. My now ne year old son started sleeping through the night (8 pm -9 am) when he was 3 months old. Good luck!

Jasmine - posted on 07/26/2010

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Hi dear, you are not the only one...same goes to my girl....:(, there's no way i can bottle feed her...

Becky - posted on 07/23/2010

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I had a friend who had this problem and it's exactly what everyone is saying - it's a habit. If you just let them cry until they realize nothing will happen, they'll go back to sleep. Of course, at first it will be really hard and you'll lose a lot of sleep, but it will all make up for itself when he starts sleeping through the night - because he CAN!

Some people don't like the CIO (cry-it-out) method, but it's the only thing that worked for our daughter and it might just work for your son, if you can handle it. If you can't, you might try letting him cry for a couple of minutes, going in and soothing him (don't pick him up, just rub his tummy or back with your hand and coo at him), then leave. Then let him cry for five minutes, then go in and do the same thing. Then let him cry for 7 minutes, then 10, etc. This worked for my sister with her daughter...you might give it a try. Good luck!

Oh, one more thing - before you do this, you might want to check with your doctor to make sure he really doesn't need to eat at night. Some babies need to gain weight so much (my daughter is very small - 1 year old next week and around 17 pounds) that a middle-of-the-night feed is ideal. So ask your doctor about that specifically before going "cold turkey" on nighttime feedings. :)

Amanda - posted on 07/22/2010

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Me neither but what Tracy wrote is true, both my kids have taken a long time to sleep through the night and I find it difficult to cope but the cry it out method doesn't work with stubborn kids so dont punish yourself LOL!

Tracy - posted on 07/21/2010

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Parents from an evolutionary stand point are supposed to co-sleep for survival. Just because warmth and safety are more easily obtained now doesn't negate our primal needs. It's built in to us so it's no wonder our children expect to be cuddled and and nursed through the night. A lot of tribal cultures that haven't been assulted by propogada of the modern world breast feed till four years old and cosleep. I'll do both as long as my kids require!

Christine - posted on 07/21/2010

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Anuradha, I know it is hard with so many people giving advice to know which to follow, even when those people are saying to listen to your own instincts (which sometimes, if we are honest with ourselves, we don't even know what our instincts are saying because we are so tired and upset in the middle of the night). I have two children, a 5 year old girl and another daughter that turned 1 on the 7th. I have left both to CIO on occasion, but that is only when they first go to bed and are fighting sleep. Usually they just need the lack of stimulation to calm down long enough to sleep (which usually happens within 15 minutes). As for the middle of the night wakings, my 1 year old is still up 1-2 times in the night. I give her a bottle of whole milk (she weaned 2 days after her first birthday) mixed with a bit of baby oatmeal (holds her longer). She sucks the bottle down and goes back to sleep. I am up 15-20 minutes max. I discourage using the CIO method at night because it just causes tempers and frustrations to flare in both you and your kid. My first daughter did the same thing my second is doing and started naturally sleeping through the night at 18 months. You can give him yogurt or something to eat right before bed, but that will more than likely just lessen the number of times he wakes up or prolong the time until his first waking. As for the CIO literature, take it with a grain of salt. Those articles are written on studies of infants who cried for an hour or more. If your child cries for any length of time, check on him periodically, but he will be fine as long as you are not letting him go for hours at a time. Good luck! May your kid sleep through the night soon :)

Diane - posted on 07/21/2010

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I hope some of yalls babies aint FTT(Failure To Thrive) becasue if so you cant let them CIO cause they need to gain the weight. My daughter who is 1 is a FTT

Amanda - posted on 07/21/2010

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I say do whatever feels right and waorks for your family. At the doctors suggestion we tried to let our baby CIO when he was 4 months old and it helped some until he started teething at 6 months. Since then if we try he will scream and cry to the point of barely being able to breathe and this doesn't after this went on for over an hour we gave up. No one in the house gets any sleep when this happens so we decided not to do it anymore. I feel much more rested if I just go to him and give him love or a feeding he is usually back to sleep within minutes. One thing that works for us is to not give him a breast feed if it has only been a couple of hours, but when he wakes at 3 or 4am and its been 7-8 hours I figure that he is probably hungry or thirsty. In the last month as he gets closer to his first birthday he has gone from 3-4 wakings a night to 1-2. Our lactation consultant has told me that babies are not meant to sleep through the night in their first year. Good luck to you and hopefully we will all be sleeping better soon.

Heather - posted on 07/20/2010

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My baby girl does the same thing, she just turned a year old today!!! No worries, he will stop waking up sooner or later, maybe. My 2.5 year old son wakes up sometimes from bad dreams or because he just wants to know that we are there.

When he has a bad dream, take him outside and walk around for a little bit, or take him into the living room and put on his favorite cartoon for 20 minutes. I used to get up with my son when he would be screaming and carrying on and I couldn't get him to stop or to really wake up. So I would take him into our living room at 2 or 3am and let him play and watch a cartoon, or he would sit with me, and then I would give him some milk or nurse him and put him back to bed and it worked! Make sure he isn't dressed too warmly or to cool. Some kiddos get cold when they are sleeping because we have our AC's on now. I dress my baby girl in a long sleeved onesie, cotton pants, and light weight socks. She sleeps great most nights without getting too cold or too hot.

Meredith - posted on 07/20/2010

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all I have to say to some of these posts is: the umbilical cord was cut at the hospital.. at a year old children are DYING to find their independence.. by co-sleeping and whatnot, you're only spoiling the child.. they need to learn to self sooth eventually.. so unless they're screaming bloody murder.. a little whimpering won't hurt.. my daughter whimpers a bit when she's goin thru a growth spurt.. but she always falls back asleep.. you grow when you sleep and growing hurts.. so crying is expected.. that's all.. but, do whatever makes you happy.. don't listen to those stupid articles about CIO methods.. they've worked all around the world.. we're actually the only ones in the world that wait to potty train their kids at 2,3,4 years old. Which is completely unhealthy..

Kayla - posted on 07/20/2010

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i had to do the same thing bcause i have no will power to not take her out, so for 6 days straight my husband had to go in & sooth without taking her out, and i cried in the mean time. felt like the worse mom, but it worked. now if she wakes up, it isnt as bad & she goes back to sleep eithin 5 minutes. hard but had to be done. i know u can do it.

Dionysius - posted on 07/20/2010

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my son is 1 and he occasionally wakes up in the middle of the night, like everyone says, its a habit. when he wakes up just leave him alone and he will go back to bed on his own. it might take a while but soon he wont wake up. im on my 1st week of trying this and he's actually doing pretty good about falling back to sleep within minutes

Tracy - posted on 07/20/2010

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My son didn't sleep through the night until he was almost 3. He's a very sensitive kid, now through working with him using some of Elizabeth Pantley no cry sleep method techniques he puts himself back to sleep and no longer needs us after saying good night. I won't let my kids CIO. My parents did that and I had trouble with sleep through my whole childhood and would lie awake for hours in my room knowing that was my only option unable to go to sleep. My daughter, who is one doesn't sleep more than an hour if by herself. We co-sleep and she nurses as she wishes throughout the night. I find that cosleeping allows me to sleep more and she feels secure.

Ann - posted on 07/20/2010

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well I hope so since mine does the same thing. It is irritating that we can't sleep thru the night yet isn't it. My first child didn't do this, she was sleeping thru the night at 4 months but every child is different I guess. I hope we both can get them sleeping SOON.

Corina - posted on 07/20/2010

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You need to put him on whole milk and feed him table food he is most likely hungry the formula dosent full him up any more.

Nichole - posted on 07/19/2010

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Everyone has their own opinions, my daughter doesn't wake up at night and if she does, I'll go in her room and comfort her for a minute but she goes right back to sleep. 1 year olds no longer need the nighttime feedings, but if that's what the mom's want to do, then by all means, do it. You aren't going to starve your child if you don't, and as long as your baby knows you are there, you aren't going to traumatize him either. Don't let people scare you into thinking that you are going to damage your baby by letting him CIO some. I never personally had any trouble getting my daughter off her nighttime feedings and she was a great sleeper from day one. I think that each parent needs to make the decision that is right for them. I read that article that someone posted about letting babies CIO and it's all just opinion based on EXTREME cases. Anyone will any maternal instinct isn't going to let their baby cry hours on end. Do what YOU think is best and what helps YOU be a better mommy. When the mommy is happy, chances are the baby will be happy too.

Christina - posted on 07/17/2010

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Everyone is right on here.. and all I do is (the docter said after 3 months they should be sleeping through the night) i put my son to bed with a small bottle his binky and Scout...(you can buy at walmart, it plays music for up to 10mins) and with in 5 to 10 mins he is out. But he does wake up a few times as well... so what i do is i keep the monitor on and when he wakes i turn the monitor down just enough to where i can barely hear him and within 5 to 10mins he is back out again (unless he is sick) and he knows how to turn on his Scout and that tends to put him back to sleep pretty quick.. But he also gets no bottle feeding... sometimes his gma trys and he wont even take it. all he wants is his binky and scout.. and the does the trick.. GL on your new adventures.

Susan - posted on 07/17/2010

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My little girl is 12 months next week. She also wakes 2 or 3 times a night and no matter how hard I try i always end up having to give her a Bfeed. She usually goes back down awake and rolls over and goes to sleep, but I am starting to struggle now with the night feeds. I too am trying to wean her..well to just one or two a day...just not all night! Sometimes i try to just lie next to her and pat her back then when she is calm put her back in her bed, but this has only actually worked a couple of times. She puts herself to sleep for naps and bed time but this hasn't stopped the night wakings like everyone promises. maybe she really is hungry and teething does make them want to suckle more to. My sister also says I need to have a few rough nights of refusing to feed her and cuddling her instead to try and break the habit. i keep putting it off, but for my own sanity I may have to do it. Good luck and let us know if you find a solution!

Lissy - posted on 07/17/2010

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I am having the same issue. My son has not been nursing at all during the day but he wakes up 2-3 times a night and he is hungry. The only way to calm him or sooth him is to breast feed him. I have been trying to stop nursing all together but he is getting 2 more bottom teeth and (as he did with his other teeth) he acts like nursing makes his mouth feel better or something, I co-sleep and I get so many negative comments from it, I can get him to sleep in his crib for about 3 hours tops. But he is only a baby for a very short time.

Lindsay - posted on 07/17/2010

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My 11 month old has been sleeping through the night (absolutely no waking up), for 4 weeks now and it's heaven.
Before that she would stir 1 or 2 times and want to be nursed back to sleep.
Then one night I was away for bed time and my husband put her awake in her crib. Our baby cried for 40 minutes (being reassured every five), she eventually fell asleep. Now every nap time and bed time I do the same, she now sleeps a straight 12 hours and still takes her 2 naps.
So long story short let your baby put themselves to sleep so when they stir at night they now how to fall back asleep on their own. We also did this with our two year old at the same age as his sister. He also is an excellent sleeper.

[deleted account]

i broke my baby of night wakings by sending in my husband to calm him down. so there is zero chance of a feeding. my husband does not pick him up out of bed, instead he sits him up & rubs his back & talks to him until he calms down. once he is calm he lays him back down, gives him a kiss goodnight & walks away. the first few times he might have to repeat this multiple times - lots of screaming & crying. wait at least 15 minutes before repeating, sometimes longer. after a few days, he would go right back to sleep after being calmed down, and then he self-calmed. we also have let him sleep with several stuffed animals - small ones - and if he wakes up at night, sometimes he grabs them & hugs it & goes back to sleep.

Casey - posted on 07/13/2010

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Yep like Deborah said it is normal and it will become a habbit for him, my son is nearly 2 and still wakes during the night sometimes, try getting a cd player and putting it in his room and playing lullabies very softly on it sometimes the sound of the music is just enough to make them feel safe and content, it also helps to drown out any other outside noises like traffic, wind or rain, also make sure it's not too hot or cold in his room sometimes we think the tempreture is fine in their room but when they kick the covers off they get a little chilly and that can wake them up, also make sure he eats plenty before he goes to bed, even if you have to give him some custard or yoghurt just before bedtime cause if his belly isn't full then he'll just keep waking up. goodluck :)

[deleted account]

Yep it's normal - it's become a habit. I managed to get my son to stop feeding through the night by simply refusing to feed him. It was really tough for a few nights, but on the 4th night he slept through and has done since (I did this at 5 months and he's now a year old). There will be tears and you may be awake for over an hour to get him back to sleep, but it's definitely worth it! Good luck!

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