My daughter hits/bites herself when she gets mad? :(

Nicole - posted on 07/08/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )




Anyone have any ideas how to handle this? Sometimes my 5 year old gets so upset/mad that she'll bite herself or hit herself. It doesn't happen all the time, but I worry that this could lead to more problems in the future....

Any ideas??? TIA!


Kelly - posted on 03/28/2013




My 5yr old daughter is starting to bite her arm really hard everytime she get angry. She even makes sure she pulls up her sleeve when she does it. I recently split from her father and she has actually become very sexually educated also. She seems to have so much anger built up and I am so scared. I have been to the doctors. called counslers, just waiting for an appt. She use to be sooo loveable. I feel like she is angry with me and I feel like her father keeps putting things in her head that its my fault the family broke up. Wouldnt it be worng to move back home and live unhappy? Wouldnt it just make matters worse in the long run? I want her to grow up stong and confindent and happy. Not like this! any suggestions... please..?

Kim - posted on 07/11/2010




Some children try to do the one thing that makes YOU upset when they're upset. Maybe the first time she did it, you reacted differently say than when she threw a toy or something.(of course because you thought she would hurt herself) My son went through something similar--he would bang his head on the couch, so much so that it scared me and I had him tested for autism. But what the dr. told me is that, because of the way that I reacted, he figured he would get his way every time if he did it again and again. I put up with this for about a year because I didn't know what to do. But then, once I started not noticing as much or ignoring him when he did it and NOT giving in to him, he stopped. Now that he's 5, he only does it when he's really upset with me or tired, but they say that perseverance is the key--just try not to make a big deal out of it, she won't really do anything bad enough to hurt herself, and if she does it'll probably only take once! lol, good luck!

Shannon - posted on 10/21/2010




Hey Nicole,

I have a son who is now going on 9 years next month and His problem is that he has a hard time expressing himself, the words are just not there for them so say, my son still to this day has a hard time with his words and it helps him to talk to the councilers at the school and I try to use faces and place the name of the emotion with the picture of the faces more often then not it works and then I ask why he thinks he feels this way and what happened before he started to feel that way and it usually works he says what he needs to and then he can feel better. I also have a sheet for anger management that i try to use with Nicholas

Ways Of Dealing With Anger

Physical Activities
- Walk or Jog
- Do exercises
- Dance
- Paint

- Ask your self what you want or need

- Count to 10 (20 or 30) out loud
- Use basic communication skills
("I feel angry that you....")
- Calmly express what you want
-Use a low voice

- Give your self credit when you exercise self control
- Remind you self of your strenghts and qualities ( of your child strengths)
- Praise or compliment others

Time outs
- ask your self if you need a time out
- If you need time out ask for it

- Read a joke book
-watch a funny movie
- look at the funny side of things

- Use deep breaths
- Listen to quiet music

Write or draw
- Write a jounnal
- What is happening now
- What am I feeling
- What do I want
- What is going on in my body
- Write an anger log
- Make a list of thing thatyou like to do when you are angry

NOw some of these thigs maybe to old for her but the questions are still the same she needs to know what emotion goes where and how to use it. I thought i write down what I have there are also site that you can look at for emotions and anger issues.

I hope this heps

Melissa - posted on 05/21/2011




Mine do it also! My 3 year old is now doing it! I wish they wouldt but no matter what i do they still do it


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