routines

Sara - posted on 03/22/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Hi everyone. I'm kinda new here. Joined awhile back but just adopted my daughter from China 2 weeks ago. We just arrived back in the US three days ago.

We haven't really developed a "routine" with her yet. We have been so overwhelmed and traveling all over that we have just been feeding her when she appears hungry or we think it is time to eat and letting her sleep when she falls asleep. This is not working. i can't tell if this is still jet-lag or just what she is used to doing in the orphanage with nothing else to do. She is delayed some, I'd say she's about a 5-6 month level physically but improving daily!

We are all still very jet-lagged and she has been sleeping a lot during the day. Like 5-6 naps. She refuses to lay on anything but my chest to sleep and screams as soon as her back touches anything when laid down after she falls asleep, will wake at night and resist falling back to sleep. I cannot let her cry it out because of attachment issues, I want her to know I am here to take care of her needs. She has been in an orphanage her whole little life and so she has learned self-calmming techniques. I have read on my adoption boards that this sleeping issue is likely attachment anxiety but it sounds like some of you are having the same issues with sleep so that makes me feel aittle better about that.



Being a first time mom, I am wondering if some of you would please share your child's daily routines for a 9 month old. I just need to know what is "normal" as everything I have read is about internationally adopted children.

Thanks!

Sara

9 Comments

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Trinity - posted on 03/24/2009

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Congratulations on adopting your daughter. I see how it would be hard to establish a routine when your daughter seems that she needs a lot of cuddling and attention right now. My experience (which isn't a lot) is that you need to establish the ground rules in order for things to be pleasant. It might be hard in the beginning but in the end it is better for all of you. My son's schedule goes something like this: He wakes up between 6am and 7am. I feed him a bottle and some cereal for breakfast. He goes down for a nap around 9am and wakes up around 10:30. He eats another bottle then too. He eats lunch at 1:30 (bottle and food) and then goes down for a nap around 2:00. He sleeps till about 4:30. I feed him another bottle. Then at 7:00 he gets a bath and dinner (bottle and food) and is usually in bed by 8pm. Recently I noticed that he wasn't sleeping and he was crankier throughout the day. I started giving him more solids and he's been sleeping a lot better. Good luck to you. Whatever you end up doing will be great!

Sara - posted on 03/23/2009

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Thank you so much everyone! I knew when asking that not everyone's schedules would be the same, but it helps to get some kind of an idea of what is "normal"! Since we have had her for about 2 weeks now she has learned to sit up unassisted and roll over on her own. She is just now learning to put finger foods in her mouth using her hands. She couldnt figure that out at first. So every day is a new learning experience for her.

I gave in and decided I would put her in her crib when she first falls asleep, for some reason she is ok at first but when she wakes in the middle of the night she will NOT go back to sleep. So I gave in and when she wakes up I put her in bed with us. Right now we just need to focus on sleep!!! She has slept until about 8:00 both days I have done this, so I think we will continue with this for a while. I have always been opposed to cosleeeping but right now it just seems right. I don't want her to be scared and I can't take it when she cries so hard... hurts my heart!

I think after reading all your routines that we are doing about what everyone else is doing now that our time is adjusted.

Thanks again everyone!!!!

Melissa - posted on 03/23/2009

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Congratulations on your new baby. My daughter wakes up around 8:30 in the morning. She has a 6 oz bottle & 1 jar stage 2 fruit. She plays from about 9 to 11:30. She takes about an hour nap at 11:30. She has another 6oz bottle & 1 jar stage2 fruit & 1 jar stage2 vegetable at 12:30. We play from 1 to 2:30. She takes a 2 hr nap at 2:30. She has 6oz formula in a sippy cup with some type of finnger food for a snack (gerber puffs, cut up banana or something like that). We usually go outside after her snack. She has dinner at 6:30 (4tbsp baby cereal mixed w/ 2oz formula, 1 jar stage 2 veg & 1 jar stage 2 dinner). I also have a 3 1/2 yr old so our bedtime routine is done for both of them. We read stories at 7 & have baths at 7:30. My daughter gets another 6 oz bottle at 8:00 & they are both in bed at 8:30. I do rock my daughter to sleep & then put her in her bed once she is a sleep. She does take a pacifier & this helps her fall back to sleep on her own if she wakes up during the night. My daughter does sleep on her stomach but only because she can roll over tgat way on her own. I always put both my kids on their backs until they could roll over on their own. I'm not sure if your daughter is rolling over yet but if she is & you are comfortable with it, try putting her on her stomach. This would be closer to how she lays on you & she may feel more secure. Also, try putting one of ypur shirts or something that smells like you in her crib. I had to do this with my son & it really helped. I hope this helps. I'm sure she will get into a good routine soon. It is always hard at first. It will get easier.

Melinda - posted on 03/23/2009

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What's so interesting is that even though she is not a newborn, she is YOUR newborn and there are certain things that are important to building your connection, like showing her that you are there for her when she cries. If you just got home, it sounds like she is still adjusting not only to the time but also to her new surroundings and that could take a bit of time. Please just remember that everyone elses routines don't have to be yours. You do what is best for you guys.



When my son was first born, he would only sleep on my chest and it took a few months for that to stop. Who knows why he did, but I'm sure your daughter will learn to sleep on her own. She just loves her new mom so much!



Since you asked for schedules, here is my sons: Wakes up at between 7 and 7:30am and hangs out until 8:30, when he gets an 8 oz. bottle. He eats breakfast at 9:30-ish and plays until like 11, when he takes a 30 minute nap. At 12:30, he has lunch and then an 8 oz. bottle at like 1:30-ish. If he takes an afternoon nap, it is usually around 2:30 and for only 30 minutes. Then he has a snack. He eats dinner at 4:30-5pm and then an 8 oz. bottle at 6. He is asleep between 6:30-7pm.



Good luck! 

Chanequa - posted on 03/23/2009

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Congratulations Sara! I also became a parent through adoption so I can imagine that you all are celebrating the end of a very long journey. Although we've had our 9-month-old since he was 10 days old, I have some heightened concerns about attachment too (particularly given that I'm a psychologist). So I've stayed at home with him for this first year and am quick to respond to his cries (although I'm starting to delay this a while to see if he can't soothe himself first). For the first several months, we held him through all his daytime naps. We still rock him to sleep but then put him in his crib. But if he cries and can't seem to get back to sleep, we pick him up. Again, we're weaning ourselves on this since I'm pretty sure he's securely attached by now. Still, I'm just not ready to let him cry it out yet.

Our son wakes around 7am, has breakfast, and then goes back to sleep around 9am for anywhere from 40min to 2 hours. He has a bottle at 10, lunch at 12:30, and then goes down for a nap around 2:30 (usually for 1-2 hours). He gets a snack when he wakes up, has dinner around 6:30 then plays until about 8:00, when he goes to bed for the night. He gets one last bottle at 10:30 (he pretty much sleeps through it).

Shelly - posted on 03/22/2009

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Hi Sara, 



 



My daughter is 9mths old and she has a pretty standard routine at the moment. She wakes about 6-7 (still too early for me) and always seems tired two hours later so i put her back to bed 8-9. Then she wakes anywhere from 40mins to 2hrs later (around 10/1030) (mostly the 2 hrs) and then she is up for 3 hrs before going back down again for another nap (1-2ish)(about 1.5 hrs) then staying up the last 3-4 hrs until bed at about 7. That all sounds rather strickt but it was purely based on her own patterns, i just helped it along by watching the clock and having an idea about how long she could last being up and all of that. Food wise we pretty much feed when she's hungry and she always has a feed (breasfed) before sleep. (she still wakes at night for a feed too!) I'm not good at letting her cry it out, so i have always just lay down next to her until she goes to sleep (which doesn't take long). Don't know if this helps or not. Good luck with it all. 



Shell. 

Shelly - posted on 03/22/2009

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Hi Sara, 



 



My daughter is 9mths old and she has a pretty standard routine at the moment. She wakes about 6-7 (still too early for me) and always seems tired two hours later so i put her back to bed 8-9. Then she wakes anywhere from 40mins to 2hrs later (around 10/1030) (mostly the 2 hrs) and then she is up for 3 hrs before going back down again for another nap (1-2ish)(about 1.5 hrs) then staying up the last 3-4 hrs until bed at about 7. That all sounds rather strickt but it was purely based on her own patterns, i just helped it along by watching the clock and having an idea about how long she could last being up and all of that. Food wise we pretty much feed when she's hungry and she always has a feed (breasfed) before sleep. (she still wakes at night for a feed too!) I'm not good at letting her cry it out, so i have always just lay down next to her until she goes to sleep (which doesn't take long). Don't know if this helps or not. Good luck with it all. 



Shell. 

Angela - posted on 03/22/2009

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hi there, Congrats on adopting a child...what a beautiful thing to do. Just to let you know briefly my routine....my little girl is 9 and a half months and is still breastfed. She wakes up around 8 and has breakfast and then i breastfeed her around 9. She goes down for her nap at around 10:30-11. When she wakes up (which is anywhere between 12-1) i give her some lunch. Around 2ish i give her another breastfeed and then i put her back into bed for another nap around 3:30. She has her dinner around 6ish and then i breastfeed her around 8ish with the hope that she goes down to sleep around 8:30-9.

That is my routine but everyone is different. Sometimes my routine goes out the window because she may be sick or we have a busy day and if that may be the case, then i just do the best i can with her. I hope i have been of some help for you. all the best xo

Hannah - posted on 03/22/2009

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It is always hard when you first become a mother and probably more so for you at the moment. My daughter gets up at 7 every morning has her breakfast has a nap about 10 has dinner at 11:30 has anotehr nap at about 1:30 tea at 3 and supper at 6 then bath and bed by 7. But everyone needs a different routine. Feeding on demand is perfect i use to do that with my other two and they were fine on it but my baby has to be fed at surten times as she has failure to thrive that is still under investigation. As it is still all new to her she is bound to be unsettled so give her time and give your self time to get use to each other and settle a bit first before you begin worrying about a routine. You will be surprised at how easy you will both settle in to a routine without noticeing it. The avarage a child of her age should be taking every day is 3 bottles/beakers and 3 meals and sleep is always good for them as that is when they are growing and processing what they have learnt. Hope this is of some help to you.

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