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The potty

Giavonni - posted on 01/13/2010 ( 118 moms have responded )

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My son Arie is 18mons old and I have been trying to potty train him for over 5mons,and every time I give up because I feel he is just not ready. One of my friends had her son potty trained at 14mons old and now I'm feeling like my son is behind. Are there any other June babies that are not potty training yet?

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Heather - posted on 01/14/2010

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I haven't even tried! My daughter isn't really even speaking yet and I don't think starting now would be beneficial. I don't want it to take a year to potty train her so I don't plan to start until she's at least 2 (or possibly later!).

Alicia - posted on 01/14/2010

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Most kids aren't ready until at least age 2! I bought my daughter a potty (she will be 19 months on the 23rd) and she has not peed or pooped in it. She runs up to it going "potty"! and is all excited but once I take her diaper off and sit her on it she wants nothing to do with it!!! So, I figure she is not ready yet...

Amanda - posted on 02/20/2010

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Ok i'm going to tell you what my aunt (who is a pediatric nurse practitioner) told me. Potty training normally isn't started till 2 years old at the min, but the average is 3 years of age. so no your son is not behind. My son is 20ish months old and i haven't even attempted cause i know he's not ready. My daughter who is 3 has been working on potty training since she was 2 and we're still working on it. She has interest and stuff just gets distracted.

[deleted account]

My girl is about 19 months and we have a potty. She sits on it and we try but she hasn't yet. Don't worry, Arie will do it when he is ready.

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Sabina - posted on 03/02/2010

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All the research I read said developmentaly they don't have the ability to control their bladders till 20 months. My son has been interested now for few months but doesn't take it seriously. It's all about reading books on the toilet. In the last weeks he has been more motivated to poop on the toilet. He suddenly hates poopy diapers. However the pee doesn't bother him. Thinking of just putting him in regular underwear and seeing what he thinks of that. OF course I would probably have to commit an entire weekend to staying home and doing laundry. All i know is that you can't rush it. I tried pushing it about a month ago and my son totally lost all interest in the potty. I backed off and he's back being interested. All in their own time.

Christie - posted on 03/01/2010

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I think if a parent says their child is potty trained before 18 months, it isn't really the child that is trained. The parents just know when they are about to go and put them on the potty. That is potty trained. When they come to tell you they have to go everytime, then they are potty trained.

[deleted account]

I've potty trained 3 babies...2 girls and a boy. My boy was the hardest, and I guarantee you he was not ready until 2. I am all about getting them trained as early as possible, but believe that it is rare that a child has the capability to communicate their need to go, or control their need to go until around 2. I would strongly recommend you wait until 2, then try the bare-bottom method. In a week he'll be catching on and by a month it will all be over!

Kayla - posted on 02/22/2010

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My daughter was born in June 2008. She started giving me signs shortly after she started walking that she was ready to be potty trained. She would be walking around the house, and take off her diaper if it was wet. Then, she started bringing me diapers. After that, she got a double ear infection and quit until around Christmas time. Now, she is only wearing diapers when she goes to bed at night. All kids will be potty trained in their own time. However, if he is giving you signs he is ready, try giving him a reward when he goes in the potty. Don't try to force him to do it though.

Brenda - posted on 02/21/2010

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I have worked in child care for over 10 years. Many of those in a 'babies room' (6 weeks to 18 months)

We dont potty train the bubs in that room.

I know there will be the odd person who has their toddlers trained this early but at 18 months its really a little early unless he really is showing an interest. And it sounds like hes not.

My daughter is 19 months now and I have not even bothered to start training her. I will probably give it about closer to Xmas.

You can actually do more harm by training too early if your child is not ready.

Hugs

xxx

Jennifer - posted on 02/21/2010

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i have a 20m old son and we have tried during my break and when i had to go back to class he gave up on going like he was mad because i was leaving him we are now seeing if he wants to do it again... i have heard it takes longer for boys than it does for girls

Doriss - posted on 02/21/2010

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No - we havent started yet - I was going to wait at least a couple more months before starting...

Brenda - posted on 02/21/2010

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Well, you may not be the only one my twin babies are not yet potty trained. They seem to be ignorant bt friends have told me they will when they are ready. Thinking i have to wait for them to talk much. I don't think you should be much worried.

Deborah Wilhemina - posted on 02/21/2010

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I am only training my son now for the potty. I think now is the right time

Samantha - posted on 02/21/2010

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My Son isnt potty Trained and he is 20 months old!! He doesnt have any interest n it at all. we are going to start trying in the next few weeks but if he isnt ready he isnt ready!! Every child is different and shouldnt be made do something when there not ready because a friends child is! he will do it when he is ready be patient I am :) I hope this help xo

[deleted account]

yeah my daughter not yet ready. I have a little toilet seat for her next to the toilet and she'll sit on it sometimes but only when we're in there and remembers. otherwise she doesnt let me know when she needs to go. Pediatrician told me it's too early, prob not til she's over 2 years old. That's when i trained my 1st daughter and worked out find.

[deleted account]

I have 2 boys, 3-1/2 and 20 months. Neither one is potty trained. My 3-1/2-year-old first was started potty training by a baby sitter at 17 months of age. So, we got excited and bought pull-ups... dumb move. Here we are 1-1/2 years later, still potty training. I firmly believe that if we had just put a the cabbosh on potty training at that time and not even revisited it until he was truly ready, he would be trained by now. It was too much pressure to put on a kid of his personality, not to mention that we have undergone several major life changes since then, added a sibling, moved twice, due to a job lay-off, etc. He is extraordinarily sensitive to "being wrong", and for the most part, does not do the potty training because he is afraid to do it wrong. He also has been diagnosed with chronic constipation and that really plays into this whole thing. I won't even attempt with my other son until he is at least 2... and definitely only when he really shows an interest. DON'T force an interest... let it happen naturally.

Tracy - posted on 02/20/2010

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All I can say is maybe give it a break and try again in a month or so. Every kid is different. My daughter who is now 3 1/2 talked at a very early age and her vocabulary is amazing. My other daughter who is almost 2 only says a few words. I try not to compare the two allthough it is very hard. I started potty training my 2 year a couple of days ago. We will see how this goes. All I can say is dont worry it will come. Potty training is hard and some people just get lucky!



Good luck

Nicole - posted on 02/20/2010

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Oh, I haven't even STARTED trying to potty train my daughter. We got her a potty, and she's tried opening the lid, sitting on it, and standing back up... but I just don't see the point of trying to potty train her yet. She's still learning to dress herself, she doesn't know how to pull her pants up and down properly. Why would I potty train her so that I can spend all day asking her if she needs to go potty, then taking her to the potty, pulling her pants down for her, sitting her on it, waiting for ages while she fails to go, and then if she DOES go, emptying and cleaning the potty? I'm going to save myself the trouble and wait until I know she's big enough to tell me herself when she's ready to go... I'm perfectly content with changing diapers, for now it's easier than the alternative.

[deleted account]

Mine isn't and he has absolutely NO interest in it. I bought him a small potty to train in and he puts his toys in there. Its frustrating because he goes in his diaper whenever he wants and so until he holds it longer I don't feel that he is ready yet.

Kylie - posted on 02/20/2010

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My son Nash is definitely not potty trained yet! We introduced him to the potty a few months ago, just so he'd be familiar with it, and even though I hoped he'd want to get on he wasn't interested. In the last month or so we have started again and he is just learning what it is. Sometimes he asks to go, but mostly he only sits on it when we ask him too. I have found too though that Daycare are helpful, as they put him on at every nappy change. This has prompted him to ask to go every time we change a nappy now too. Don't worry at all about your little boy. Whenever I tell anyone we have started potty training they are astonished as they think 18m is actually early! Best of luck.

Nichole - posted on 02/20/2010

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My daughter is 20 months and she is aware of the potty and what it's for, but doesn't use it yet. We keep it available just in case, but we are not pushing yet. She'll let us know when she's ready.

Amanda - posted on 02/19/2010

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We have a potty in the bathroom, but as of now my 20 mo old is still at least months away from actually using it. He'll sit on it, fully clothed and before the bath and understands when Mommy goes potty, but he just isn't ready. One requirement of potty training is that they can remove their own clothing. Mine cannot remove his pants at all yet.

Cynthia - posted on 02/19/2010

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My son isn't close to ready yet but my friends son who is two weeks older will communicate when he has gone. Right now I just tell him that Mommy has to go pee mommy is going pee or when I change his diaper I say you went PeePee and he will repeat it. Every kid learns at their own pace and at their own time at this point in their development there is no behind

Karen - posted on 02/19/2010

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I am waiting till 2yr old birthday to start potty training. I did this with my twins and plan on doing this with my tripletts. the only difference is i will be training my first boy. I don't feel that they really could use the potty right now. Every child does train at their own speed. don't compare him to other kids. Give him more time.

Amy - posted on 02/19/2010

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I think you're crazy. He's only 18 mons why are you trying so hard already. I have to older boys and they were both almost 3 before they were potty trained and I haven't even thought about trying with my 18mons old daughter. You have plenty of time don't make them grow up so fast. They will let you know when they're ready. I would start to worry if they're still wearing diapers to school. :)

[deleted account]

My son is 20mnths, we started training him at 18months, and he does great. He doesnt tells us when he has to go yet, but he will go when you put him on. We put the potty in in the bathroom infront of ours, and he loves to go when we do. He cheers for us,its very sweet. We reward him after he has gone, with coins for his bank, and lots of hugs and praise. I read something that made sense to me, if you start late when they reach two and three is when they are stronger with their opinions, and are less agreeable to train quickly. Not sure how true it is, but it made sense to me. So we tried, and it is going really well. Just working on him now telling us when he has to go. That seems tricky. Although he does recognize to tell us when he had gone in his diaper. I think its like anything, you create routines, and systems for them, and they get used it being part of their day. Like nap time, or any routine. It may take some time, but it seems worth it so far. Good luck Moms, everyday seems like a learning curve for me! :)

Jennifer - posted on 02/18/2010

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My Son is 19 months old at 18 months old he used the potty 6 times and I thought he was doing fantastic...however...then he stopped and has freaked out eveytime I bring him near the potty....anyways bottom line is they will let you know when they are ready I am sure of it!!! Keep bringing the potty out and give them a book to read or a sippy cup or whatever!!

[deleted account]

There is nothing wrong with not being potty trained yet. The average potty training age is between 2 - 4 yrs of age, when there muscles to hold the urine and bowel movments are completely developed. All the literature that I've read says that every child is different and that we should train him at his own pace. Forcing him to be potty trained might even delay the process.

Do not compare your child with other children, he is unique in every way and will be potty trained when he is ready, not when you want him to. Trust me I know. I have a friend who has a son, who is two months younger than mine (mine is a June 2008 baby). She started potty training him as soon as he turned 1. So I felt as if I was behind with my son. Resisting every urge to force him to potty trained I just started introducing him to the potty. Letting him see me or his dad in the potty, sitting him down woth his clothes on and so forth. Now 2 months later he occasionaly lets me now that he has to go and goes all on his own. But I had to go at his pace, not mine.

Erin - posted on 02/18/2010

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My son is 19 months and we havent even tried yet either. 12 months is really early to start especially for a boy, they typically take a little longer. I agree with everyone else, wait on your son to give you the signal that he is ready. A lot less frustration for him and you! Good luck!

Kim - posted on 02/18/2010

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My wee man is 19 months old I havent even thought about pooty training him yet. Both my girls wasnt ready till they were 2 yrs old, I think he'll let you know when he's ready dont push it on him or it will be one step forward 2 bk.

LeAnn - posted on 02/17/2010

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My 6 year potty trained herself when she was 15 months old. My June08 baby has been taking off her diaper when it is wet and tells me when she is going to poop but absolutly refuses to sit on either a potty chair or the big potty. I am not pushing her.. She will get there.

Amnie - posted on 02/17/2010

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too young, some kids are ready but he doesn't seem to be. My daughter is June 10 and knows when she has gone but I am not attempting to toilet train her yet. A bit longer, I am a mum of 4, my twins were toilet trained 2 years and my son (started at 2, start, stop, keep trying and 3 years was toilet trained 100%. So just enjoy your child and you will know when they are ready, try and if it doesn't work give it a break and try a months or two later. Sometimes they are just too young, don't worry about what other kids are doing,,, sometimes their mum says my child is toilet trained when infact their toilet catching if you know what i mean. :D Good luck.

Shawn - posted on 02/17/2010

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14 months is so unrealistic. Your son is not behind, and you should feel lucky if he is potty trained by 3. My daughter is 20 months and has sat on the potty once and she has two older sisters who are potty trained. I know how great it is to not have to change diapers, but the more pressure you place on him the less he is going to want to go on the potty.

Holly - posted on 02/17/2010

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My son is almost 20 months and I haven't attempted to potty train yet. We have bought a potty and some pull-ups, but he isn't ready yet. It isn't unusual for them to not be potty trained yet. Kids are normally ready to potty train between 2 and 3.

Julie - posted on 02/17/2010

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Potty trained at 14mo.???? Thats just crazy talk. I havn't even considered it yet. They need to show signs of readiness or your just wasting your time. I made the mistake of trying too early with my dgt. ad I drove myself crazy. I stopped after 1 wk and when she showed readiness it was easy. I have learned for this one to wait. I have a 19mo. boy so I hear that boys tend to take longer than girls.

Cindy - posted on 02/17/2010

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I have a son who is 7 and he wasn't potty trained until he was 3 and a half boys are harder to train the more you push the longer it will take to potty train. My son (born June23) has not even been introduced to the potty when they are ready they will let you know.

Nicki - posted on 02/17/2010

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18 months is way too early for most babies. I am in the middle of training my elder son who will turn 3 in April and it's just about the right timing for him as we've had very few accidents. My daughter was trained at around 2 and a half.

Bethany - posted on 02/16/2010

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I have three boys and a little girl, who is my June 2008 baby, I'm here to tell you, please don't feel like your doing something wrong! My oldest was potty trained around 2 1/2 and never had an accident, I didn't even have to buy Pull-Ups. My second one was closer to three and still, at age 6, wears Pull Ups at night. And then the three year old has been potty trained for about 6 months and wears Pull-Ups at night. With boys I say don't even try it until 2 1/2 at the earliest! I know all babies are different and if your looking at doing elimination communication, pooty training from birth, than that's one thing, but if you just want him potty trained because you think he's ready or because your friends baby is, relax! It's okay, boys take longer, they're just not ready! Wait for him to guide you, he'll know when he's ready and you and him will just be more frustrated if you try to push him! People say it took them 6 months to potty train their kids, that's because they weren't ready. When he's ready, it won't take more than a month, I promise! Good luck!!

Lindsay - posted on 02/16/2010

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Some kids aren't potty trained until they are 30 months! I would not worry at all about your son not being potty trained by 18 months... he has a ways to go.

Donna - posted on 02/16/2010

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ive just started trying to potty train my daughter and finding it really difficult, when i sit her on the potty she cries and asks to stand up,if i get her to sit there long enough she will eventually do something but my problem is that i let her play with no nappy on and remind her to use her potty over and over she still wees on the floor,im getting really frustrated and not sure what to do as i never had to potty train my son,at 18 months he took off his own nappy and asked to use the toilet and never looked back x

Donna - posted on 02/16/2010

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ive just started trying to potty train my daughter and finding it really difficult, when i sit her on the potty she cries and asks to stand up,if i get her to sit there long enough she will eventually do something but my problem is that i let her play with no nappy on and remind her to use her potty over and over she still wees on the floor,im getting really frustrated and not sure what to do as i never had to potty train my son,at 18 months he took off his own nappy and asked to use the toilet and never looked back x

Stefanie - posted on 02/16/2010

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My son is 19 months old, he is the 3d baby, and stil not started to train him. All the books I read said that you should wait until the summer between his 2 and 3 birthday, it will go easier when they are bigger, don`t waste your time on this isue, unless you also want to show off. Boys and girls are anyway different!!

Jennifer - posted on 02/15/2010

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My daughter is 20 months and we just started potty training it is not going very well either. Just keep working at it if he is showing signs that he is ready. I read somewhere that the average age for potty training is 18 months to 3 years.

Brenda - posted on 02/15/2010

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My son is no where ready to even consider potty training. I was told by most of my friends who have boys that are all older it was closer to 3 before they were potty trained. He will do it when he is ready

Amy - posted on 02/15/2010

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My son is 19 months now and is not potty trained yet. Our pediatrician says boys take longer and not to even start until he turns 2 years old. The earlier you start potty training doesn't necessarily mean the earlier he'll be potty trained it just means it'll take you longer to get him potty trained and a lot more frustration...but if you start later he will be more ready and it should take a lot shorter to get them trained. A friend of mine waited till her son was two years old and it only took about 3 days to have him trained. Good luck! and don't rush it...

Yvonne - posted on 02/15/2010

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My daughter is 19 months and she's not potty train yet. But sometimes I wonder if I should start potty training her because she will let me know when she poop or she will hide to do her thing lol so those are sighs that I could start potty training her.

Amy - posted on 02/15/2010

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My daughter 20 months old and we haven't started yet. Going to start trying very soon. She thinks its ok to take her pampers off. My guess is she is ready.

Chantelle - posted on 02/15/2010

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my son is 20months old and is not still not potty trained. i put him on it as much as i can but he never does anything on it. i dont no wat else i can do.

Christie - posted on 02/15/2010

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First of all I wouldn't regard your son as being "behind" in any way! Most boys I know aren't toilet trained until 3 or even 4years old. In my experience even having a 2yo boy toilet trained is unusually successful. I wouldn't put any pressure on yourself or your little one in that regard :) ((hug))

For first time parents (as I am), everything is a learning experience, and they way I do things may not be the way the person up the street does things. And that's fine by me :)

My 19month old daughter has been doing her poos on the toilet (with a step and seat) most days since she was around 17months old BUT I wouldn't regard this as toilet training, just "elimination communication" (Interesting to google about if you get the chance).

From when she was maybe 14-15months old she used to poo at the same time every night (when she was eating dinner). So when we saw she was doing a poo, we verbalised it to her- "good poos" etc. Not sure why we started doing this, just weirdos I guess *lol*

Next she started saying "a poo" when she was pooing or just about to. A friend gave me the seat/step for the toilet so I thought I'd sit her on it when she said she needed a poo, and lo and behold she was having a poo a day on the toilet. Owing to the fact she wears cloth nappies this is a bonus in itself ;)

At this point I thought I might be able to skip the potty and move straight to the toilet. We did have a potty given to us as well, but she refused to sit on it for more than 10secs at this point so that was never going to happen! *lol*

After we were able to get her to do her poos on the toilet for a while I started giving her nappy free time in the afternoons after nap and before dinner. Some days she would wee on the floor six times for the afternoon! Lucky we have tiles and floorboards huh? ;)

The nappy free time did teach her what doing a "wee" was all about however. Considering it is harder to pick when they are weeing when they are wearing a nappy, this was going to be the only way I was able to tell her when she was weeing in my opinion. (Unlike our experience of teaching her when she was doing a poo).

She then graduated to coming running to me saying "a wee, a wee" if she weed on the floor. And I'd tell her "you need to tell Mum when you need to do a wee, wees go in the toilet not on the floor". It was still very hit and miss about getting her to do a wee on the toilet at this point, she didn't seem to know what the urge to go felt like, she'd only see the results AFTER she'd weed.

Coincidentally around this time I saw a cheap Wiggles potty and bought it thinking I might put it in the car for trips etc one day, but she spotted it and LOVED it! She'd happily sit on it, even more happily if we put a Wiggles DVD on ;) So this meant I was able to sit her on the potty for longer periods in the attempt to "catch" a wee. Every time this happened we would show her the wees (or occasional poo) in the potty and hi-5's all round added to the excitement :)

In recent days we have just graduated to if you sit her on the potty and ask her to "try" to do a wee or a poo you can see her posture change and her tummy tighten. And 9 times out of 10 she'll do a little wee, or break wind :P

She also delights in coming to the toilet to wave goodbye to the poo/wee and of course LIVES for washing her hands ;)

We have our good days and our bad days, but I try to look at the process as "toilet learning" rather than toilet "training". Any little progress is something to celebrate. They'll all get there one day.

All the best of luck with it, and once again I wouldn't try to live up to anyone else. Just go with the flow (no pun intended) ;)

Erin - posted on 02/14/2010

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i just gave up she is not ready and that is fine we just want her potty trained before the next kido

Susan - posted on 02/14/2010

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My June baby hasn't really shown much interest yet and my first daughter didn't start potty training until she was two. Don't stress about it - really! 14 months really is not typical!!

Kamila - posted on 02/14/2010

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My girl has been using potty since she was able to sit (about 7 months) and for some reason she knew she had to push whenever sitting on it :)

So she was pooing into it since then, but she never said she wanted to poo. I simply put her on it about 2 times a day and we only sometimes got accidents.

She is 19 mths now and we would have a poo accident maybe once a month.

I know this is not potty trained baby but as I was using cloth nappies I was really pleased I didnt have to wash them myself.

I know Carmel isnt ready to be potty trained yet but I like that she poos into her potty.

Karri - posted on 02/13/2010

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Yeah, everyone that I know who has little boys potty trains at about 3 years old. The VERY earliest that I have ever heard of is 2 1/2 and that was because he wanted to be "just like his older brother" I have heard of girls being potty trained earlier though. My daughter is 20 months and I just barely baught a potty chair so she knows that it is there. We are waiting a little bit before we push the issue anymore. Just relax. He will let you know when he is ready.

Kristen - posted on 02/13/2010

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Oh my!!! 14 months old. Never heard of that. Boys are MUCH later than girls. It took my son, as well as most of his friends until he was 3 years old. We tried earlier, but only failed. So it was two weeks before his third birthday that we really pushed the issue. It only took about a week or so to be fully potty trained. He had a few accidents, but was so proud of himself.

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