hot nannies and LIve -ins...

Tah - posted on 08/30/2011 ( 31 moms have responded )

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so your babysitter, nanny(if you do or could have one) would her age and looks be a factor when bringing her into your home. I mean i literaly know of a neighbor whose teenage daughter was the babysitter and was screwing the husband when he would leave to take her home. You hear or see it on T.V so i wonder...

how much looks and age would factor into you having a maid, nanny, babysitter?

if you had the choice between hot body betty who is younger than your fav pair of sneakers or Mrs. doubtfire, who is coming to keep your kids???

Doeswit solely depend on how much you trust your husband or is it a better safe than sorry type of thing??

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Melissa - posted on 09/07/2011

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Lol Maria that's exactly what any SMART man would do! Lol nod and say yes dear, you're right, i love you, you look beautiful lol.

Oh! But I did just remember, we WERE actually looking at getting a babysitter a few months ago (I'm SO glad we figured out a way around that!!) but I told my husband if we ended up having to get one that it wasn't happening unless we had hidden cameras in ever room of the house WITH audio! 1 - I want to make sure she's not collecting a paycheck and using it to surf my internet and watch my tv or even worse, hang out with friends, 2 - I want to make sure my child isn't mistreated, it happens far too often for my liking and it's one main reason I'm so apprehensive about anyone but us being with him, and 3 - I'd be able to see for sure if any moves were made. Because let's face the facts, there's a lot of heartbroken women out there who had every reason to trust their husbands every day of their happy marriage, until the day they learned otherwise. It's a horrible thing to think, and it's probably my own paranoia and inner demons that I have to battle constantly, but IF anything ever WERE to occur, I'd want to know the moment it happened. I'm not going to end up the fool who was stepped on for who knows how long before finding out, I'll know the moment something happens so I can do what I have to do!

Jenni - posted on 08/31/2011

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I definitely trust my hubby... to ummm not cheat. But flirt or get all googly eyed, he's uh, human.

I wouldn't hold him to any higher standard I'd hold myself and I have no doubt if the hired help was some chiseled, bronze god. I'd be prone to getting a little ga-ga, goo goo.

I'm sure if I asked him right now, he'd agree that inviting some hotties into our home would be a situation we wouldn't want.

Of course if I asked if he would like a hot female as our nanny, i'd get a resounding "Helllllll yes!" But if I said, "Ok we can, as long as we can have a hot male housekeeper".
The idea would quickly lose its appeal. And he'd have to agree it's probably not the best idea. ;)

So yes, I think it would make us both uncomfortable so we'd probably go with Nanny McPhee.

Melissa - posted on 09/07/2011

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Thanks guys :0) I definitely am lucky. Not to sound big headed about it lol but we all should gloat about the good we have in life. And Tah I have to agree lol I, too, am mainly attracted to lighter skin tones (I basically like them pale as a sheet, 10 ft tall and 80 lbs lol, or at least that's how my friends described my "type" back in my dating days lol) but I've had situations where someone I never thought I'd be attracted to suddenly won my heart over after getting to know them. Attraction ends up being so much more than skin deep, so even if at first a person would say "not in a million years", after enough interaction and connection that same person might change their tune to "well maybe ...."

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Melissa- You have every right to be proud of your husband! I would have been madder then a hornet, but not at him at her! She wouldnt have made it back in the front door rather I was nursing a baby or not!

Melissa - posted on 09/07/2011

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I can honestly say that I trust my husband whole heartedly. I was a bit overweight when we got together, but through my first pregnancy I gained about 80 lbs (which I totally blame on him because he wouldn't let me cook or carry anything the whole time, and he always made things like steak, stuffed shells, all kinds of delicious things that were sure to add to my growing waste) and in the year after our son was born, regardless of dieting and exercising, I gained an additional 20 lbs. I'm utterly disgusted with myself, and actually looking into weight loss surgery because I'm absolutely at my witts end, but he apparently still finds me attractive. We're still intimate, I never see him even glancing at other women when we're out, he still tells me I'm beautiful and randomly stops in the hallway just to kiss me. He's attractive, he's thin, he can eat whatever he wants and not gain weight (and yes, I kind of hate him just a little bit for that lol) He's a full time student finishing up his masters, and I see the kids of girls walking around the school campus when I bring our son to go pick him up, and he laughs and tells me when those "idiots" try to hit on him (he's very judgmental sometimes, especially when it comes to someones intelligence - basically any girl in a mini skirt is automatically an airhead). But he never needs to "meet with a professor" or "go to the library" or "stop at the book store", he always rushes home after class. If he does need to go anywhere, he asks us to go with him. So regardless of my own feelings on my own appearance, I'm still able to have a lot of confidence in my relationship and its stability.

That being said, I still don't think I'd be comfortable having a young attractive nanny or babysitter. ESPECIALLY if she was live-in! I think my own imagination and insecurities would just run rampant and I'd drive myself crazy. I would want someone generally young, maybe early to mid 20's, but I think along with references and experience I'd also weigh her appearance and race. My husband certainly isn't racist, we have friends of every race, sexuality, religion, so on and so forth, but sexually I now he is only attracted to white women, so I would definitely chose a women of a different race.

Like I said, I fully trust my husband, and logically I know there's no need to worry about "better safe than sorry", I just know myself, and my imagination runs too wild for my own good, and I'd end up going crazy and inevitably ruining a potentially great professional relationship with a nanny and potentially causing riffs in my own relationship, which I'm not at all interested in doing. We both trust each other, but we both also have jealousy issues due to our own inner insecurities, so I think avoidance is better than testing the waters lol.

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Tah - posted on 09/08/2011

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i wouldn't know who else my husband finds attractive because he has the good sense to never look in front of me and if i say she is really pretty he says "who, i don't see anybody"..this guy should be in mensa..needless to say he hasn't had to sleep on the couch. he is command fitness leader for his ship so he has to measure the sailors for their physial readiness testing, one girl told him "don't be afraid to get up in there" when he went to measure her hips. he got up and had someone else do it...one girl keeps asking him to teach her to box..he told her no and, she kept asking so he informed her he was not going to be her boxing instrutor but his wife could SHOW her some karate..just saying...lol..im secure as well. My husband has been with women of different races but there is only one me and he doesn't seem the type to press his good graces..lol. I know there are beautiful loose women in the military ready willing and able to sleep with your husband but i trust him. Now the women...different story..don't trust them at all...not one iota...my mom taught me many things and one was to keep other women out your relationship...thanks mom....lol

Melissa - posted on 09/07/2011

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Maria your man has good taste! Jennifer Aniston is like my female celebrity crush lol I've loved her ever since Friends, she's so beautiful!

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haha dont get me wrong i get that i do but i also really know my guy and it would never be Pam the extremely cool , hot babysitter it would always be Pam ( insert race he doesnt like) is ok. He doesnt like meeting new people at all even when i bring my hot friends over he doesnt even like to be in the same room. Its hard to even get a hi out of him. He just keeps to himself and is only open around me, family and his close friends that he has known for years. Even if it was the hottest person like Jennifer Aniston look alike ( his fav not mine haha) He would just leave the room or leave the house. if she lives with us obviously i would know that it would be impossible to not bump into each other. However he would keep answers short if she asked him something or just ignore her. Thats just how he is. So if it was somebody that was really not his type then he would be even more rude. But yea i just have no problem with it. Im secure enough in myself and with what i have to offer and with what we have to not even sweat about a situation like that. Like really i know im hot stuff so i dont have to feel insecure if another attractive woman were to be in my home. I wouldnt even see it as tempting him because well. . . . he has me haha ;)

Tah - posted on 09/07/2011

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yeah maria, that was my point, sometimes you get to know someone you would not have looked twice at any other time on a personal level and stop seeing color. she's spending time with your kids, shooting the crap..laughing at his jokes, "o you like the cowboys too, maria doesn't watch football", "my mom used to make apple pie from scratch"...etc and pretty soon, she's not korean, black or white she's just Pam the extremely cool and hot babysitter..no thanks pumpkin, my mama can watch the kids..lol

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Well i say my age because im young and still have immaturity on my side. It doesnt show its face all the time but sometimes when my emotions get in the way it does. Im pretty sure that when im older it wont be the same :)

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Age has nothing to do with it. Fist wouldnt be needed with me. She would have gotten and ear full, then my husband would have for having poor taste in friends and then about how I'm happy he didnt kiss her back. That girls would have been tripping over herself to get away.

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Your right if ever that were to happen i hope i deal with it in the same way you did. Altho my guy would get an earful not because it was his fault but just because i like to talk to him about stuff too and i would hope that he would just stay quiet, say im right, and comfort me lol

Melissa - posted on 09/07/2011

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Lol!! I don't know if age necessarily has anything to do with it, although when I was 21 that would have probably been my reaction, too lol. I guess I've just allowed myself to fly off the handle so much as a teenager that I kind of learned how to control myself, and learned that controling myself gives me better control of a situation, which usually brings a better outcome. Don't get me wrong, I definitely went for a drive later on, called up my best friend and screamed my head off about the whole thing lol. I mean, you have to vent one way or another! I'd just rather vent to a friend and then laugh about it than vent with my fist in her face and end up in court for the next 6 months to a year over her inability to keep her filthy lips off of MY husband! lol

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I respect that but ooh i know myself and i wouldve kicked her ass without even thinking twice about it. Maybe its because im 21 but i dont know lol. I wouldve been so hyped up after seeing that i literally would have to take the baby off and lay her down (because i would be shaking from anger) and then i would have to go outside and handle business. then i would go back inside drink a glass of water and finish feeding my little baby.

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Melissa- HAHA "Crazy baby Momma" HAHA And completely understandable. I'm glad I dont have to worry about it lol. My husband isnt much of a people person so we never have people over and he never goes anywhere!

Melissa - posted on 09/07/2011

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And Tasha - he'd already made the choice that he no longer wanted to have any interaction with her, but I made it clear none-the-less that she was no longer welcome anywhere near our home. I mean, it's one thing to make a move on a taken man (which is skanky and awful enough on it's own) but to be welcomed into his home, introduced to his partner and brand new son, and THEN while barely 10 feet away from the two to try and make a move? That's just disgustingly disrespectful. I WAS madder than a hornet lol but at the same time I always hate letting my emotions get the best of me, I wanted to be the bigger and better person, not the "crazy baby mama" who went off on some little slut. I mean, maybe if he and I were out on a date night at a bar or something and the same thing had happened, it's likely the outcome would have been different lol but I always try to control myself at home and especially in front of the kids. I don't want to risk slacking on control and end up losing all of it, especially in a situation like that!

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lol your right but i know in my guys case it wouldnt happen. I mean i dont think its racist i just think you know what you attracted to and what you arent. And im pretty sure he would never have a change of heart on some things. i just thought that was funny and clever ;)

Tah - posted on 09/07/2011

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not even if she was a different race because i know, in some cases, it may get to a point where people won't see skin color and i wouldnt want his epiphany to happen on my kitchen floor...

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@Melissa : Seems like you have an amazing guy and a wonderful relationship im so happy for you!! thats the way it should be! ♥ And i thought the race thing was super smart !! haha

Melissa - posted on 09/07/2011

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Yes, Tah!! As much as we trust our husbands I think we all know there's some women out there who really are home wreckers! I remember when our son was first born an old female friend of his got in touch with him (they'd never had a sexual relationship, it had been a platonic friendship, they just hadn't spoken in a few years) and so we invited her to come by and visit us one night. She and he went out for a cigarette while I was feeding our son when suddenly something in my gut just didn't feel right - I stood up and looked out the window. She was sitting on the steps and he was standing a few feet away from her, and they were just chatting. Suddenly she stood up and started walking towards him, and he turned away from her, you could tell from the look on his face he was kind of uncomfortable, but I was breastfeeding and it was winter so I couldn't do anything but stand there and see what was going to happen. He was almost done with his cigarette so he started inching back towards the house, and she smiled at him, said something, and they hugged, he kind of patted her back to avoid maintaining an embrace, but then she pulled her head back and planted one on his lips!! I didn't even say anything when they came back in, I wanted to see how he was going to handle this on his own. He went and washed his hands, came and sat back with me, took the baby and just said "well it's getting kind of late, we have an early day tomorrow so we should be getting to bed soon." His "friend" took that as a decent enough hint and left. She tried to contact him several times afterwards but he ignored every attempt. I eventually told him I saw what had happened and he was so embarrassed, but he was grateful that I knew the situation and knew first hand that he hadn't made any advances or initiations. Some women are just little black widows, I swear!!

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I love my husband and wouldnt put him in the position of being alone with the babysitter like that. In this day in age I dont trust woman, but i do trust my husband. To many times the girls wants something and doesnt get it she lies and says she did.
Therefore i dont care what she looks like I take her home, I make sure I get home before him, I make sure she is never left alone in a room with him. My husband does the same. He makes sure i take her home, he makes sure hes never in a room alone with her. Just gotta play things smart these days.

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Eh i would pick whoever is best qualified. If its the hottest woman on the planet but she is the best qualified and will take the best care of my child then she would be the one i would pick. If she was professional and knew what she was doing then theres no doubt about it when it comes to someone taking care of my kids i want the best and someones looks would have no effect on my decision. My guy cheating with the babysitter would be a thought that wouldnt even cross my mind. Thats not a worry i have. But we also dont need one so ive never had that experience.

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You have a good point of why bother with the situation at all. Now that my husband isn't working at a public pool and is a supervisor he thankfully doesn't get hit on as much. Yay for the lack of floozies! I really wouldn't want to put him in that situation again.

Tah - posted on 08/31/2011

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Exactly Amy, he loves me...but why allow the opportunity if it doesn't need to be.

Amy - posted on 08/31/2011

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I am home 24/7. Aside from post office runs/dentist appointments etc, i'm here. So because I am always here, I wouldn't care about age/looks. She'd be with me helping ME all the time. I'd prefer a mrs doubtfire type if she also carried wisdom of age with her. Either way, I wouldn't want a mindless idiot here. When I go on dates with husband, I'll feel better if I know she's not an airhead.

Husband. At this point he'd say hi, bye to her and steal me for a sorely needed date. The man is in love with me. It shows all the time. I love it. Love him. Could that ever change? Maybe. but who cares about a hot nanny. if he's gonna cheat, he's gonna. No matter when or where opportunity arises. I'd just not let an opportunity arise. She'd be a nine to five hire and he'd only see her for when she's babysitting.

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I don't trust my hubby. I know he wouldn't do anything if he knows what's good for him, but I still don't trust him not to flirt or be stupid some other way. He even looks at her wrong, she's out, and he's sleeping in the doghouse for a week. And we HAVE a doghouse now, so HA.

Tah - posted on 08/30/2011

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i trust my husband 1000%..i don't trust these scandalous women, some of who are out to get someone..anyone...do i think he would act on any advances..nope...but i wouldn't even put him a position to say have to say no, and me in a position to go to jail...maybe because i have seen it happen..i know it can and i"d rather be safe than sorry. My husband is around hoebags all day long that say little things to him at work..he lets me know, and he always shuts them down, he even gets teased that he won't have any fun..o it's fun times all the time around here, he just knows 2 seconds of fun with you will give him a lifetime of misery so he has good sense...lol.

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My husband is a lifeguard... he sees women half naked all day. He comes home to me each night wanting some. Yeah not worried.

Never the less with a nanny or babysitter; I'd rather have (especially with a nanny) someone who either had a child at least as old as my eldest or had a lot of experiance taking care of children. But I'm horribly picky on who watches my daughter.... my husband is even more picky. In the end credentials would win out on looks. Although a Mrs Doubtfire type would be nice for extra grandma like attention (what kid doesn't want that).

As of right now I don't have to worry about the babysitter... it's my MIL or SIL most of the time.

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