
MARIE - posted on 12/27/2009 ( 76 moms have responded )
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My daughter is 11 and a half and does NOTHING round the house. I have a 4 yr old and another child due in afew weeks. Am I being unreasonable in expecting her to do chores? She complains of having no money but I dont see why I should give pocket money for no contribution.What do other parents expect their kids to do in the way of housework?
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Tana - posted on 10/23/2011
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My personal feelings about this is that if you live in the house you contribute period. As soon as my kids can walk they have a rag in their hand to pretend to help mama dust. I introduced chores as play and didn't really expect a lot when they were little, however, expected more as they got older.
You are not being unreasonable. I have put it on paper for my kids before. Breaking down what they get for FREE and how much it would cost if they have to provide it themselves. Sometimes it helps to show them a different perspective.
Do an experiment for a week or two where everything has a cost. Her responsibilities from school work and chores pays for her meals, rent, clothes being washed etc....my kids quickly realized that it was much cheaper doing many things for themselves than paying mom to do it.
Inspired from Bill Cosby with Theo :O)
Rylee - posted on 05/16/2013
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i am elleven my mom wanted me to join to get ideas ,
C - posted on 11/03/2011
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You are not bieng unreasonable at all! A house that gets messed up by everyone should be cleaned up by everyone. When I was 11 I helped around the house..
Your 11 year old is concerned with pocket money, I would also think that was an indication that its time to earn and help.. I think chores are a great learning aid.
During the school year my kids chores are light because the schedule is so tight... My three year old feeds and waters the dog in the am and picks up toys before bed.
My twelve year puts the clean dishes away out of the dishwasher in the am and merges all laundry baskets to one and brings it downstairs next to the washer. These things take 10 minutes tops. Then in the pm she puts away her clothes and vaccumes the downstairs carpet...
My 14 year old accually does less this year then ever because her schedule is so hectic but she did her share of chores and babysitting before she hit highschool.
I also ask for special things a couple times a week like sweeping the porch or cleaning the mirrors.
I dont give allowance because for some reason my kids seem to always have money... good grades, birthdays, extra jobs. What I do is give bonuses for a week well done and its always a small gift that I would otherwise not spend on... sunglasses, lip gloss, earings and such... they have a clip hanging next to the chore list and they enjoy waking up an seeing a little something.
Sounds great doesnt it... LOL the reality is that it hardly ever works and I always have to refer them to the chart over and over and over... Then I have to make them go back and do it again several times a weeks because things like - missing dishes- hang ups stuffed in drawers.. :)
Sarah - posted on 12/23/2013
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We have never given our children allowance and they have always had chores. What's unrealistic is the way kids are treated these days - I've had to check myself a few times when I thought I was putting too much responsibility on my kids comparing them to their peers. And then I'd realize, who am I kidding? They need these kinds of responsibilities.
Interestingly enough, it's on the days they've worked the hardest that they are so happy and we are so close as a family. Hard work gives them a sense of pride and accomplishment.
It takes consistency and you will always face a little opposition. But the pay off is huge. At 11, I would suggest you give her some regular chores that she has to be responsible for doing and then periodically enlist her help for ad hoc tasks.
And the 4 yo can help too. Just give him simple jobs - he'll love it!
Heather - posted on 05/09/2012
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We have an eleven years old (who is our 3rd child, and only still at home).
He most certainly does help around the house and with no money expected! We go with the "you live in this house you help out"! He does small things like feeds the cats, help with laundry when asked, helps clean after meals, and other daily life chores as they arise.
He also vacuums the whole house, puts away his laundry, and help with the weekend clean-up!
Now I can't say our second child was the same and our first (agirl) was easier to get to help.
As far as money because he is so helpful and does so with saying boo.....when he needs money we give him some.
Hope this helps!