How do I convince my daughter to wear a bra to school?

[deleted account] ( 36 moms have responded )

Hello moms,



My daughter is 10, soon to be 11. She's starting to develop breasts and it's pretty noticable. I haven't been forcing her to wear a bra, but she despirately needs one. An older friend of hers passed on some begginer's padded bras to her. She'll wear them when we go out or even just around the house, but won't wear them to school. I told her that there's nothing to be ashamed of, and I'm afraid the girls at school will tease her if she doesn't wear one. But she still refuses to wear them to school. Any ideas?

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User - posted on 10/24/2012

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my daughter is 12 and well deveolped but she wont wear a bra or anything tight against her skin , she is being assessed for asd at the moment we have big issues with clothes, so i havnt a clue what to do but at the end of the day its her decisin we cannot force girls to wear a bra if they dont want to my thoughts anyway.

Emily - posted on 10/23/2012

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I'm a 13 year old girl (not a mom I just like posting opinions from the child's point of view) and I wouldn't rush her into it.



I just started wearing one when I turned about the beginning of this year. My mom tried to start making me wear bras around your daughter's age and I kept resisting and got really annoyed.



I think the reason I didn't want to wear them was because I didn't want to grow up, maybe that's what she's feeling too?



Bras aren't really a neccessity for other girls her age.If girls at her school made fun of her, she would want to start wearing them, so I wouldn't be too worried about that. When she's really ready, she'll tell you.



If she's REALLY developping at the least make her wear a cami.

Sofia - posted on 08/18/2014

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I'm 11 a kid obviously, my mum died so I only have a dad. I do not wear a crop top or a bra and hardly do any of the girls in my grade. I have crop tops but am embarrassed to wear them because none of friends do but when I have warn them they have felt more protective.Anyway I think you should see if her friends are wearing them to school. If they aren't just live your daughter until it becomes completely terrible.

Moggie - posted on 01/23/2015

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Marylee -- wtf is wrong with you? You have some serious issues I dont know how you still have a child you don't deserve to have one

Amanda - posted on 04/11/2015

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HI Im a 13 year old and the problem is your duather is just not feeling ready to grow up.
maybe she is the first one to wear a bra at school in her grade,so she doesn't want the
big attention from the girls asking her about how it feels like wearing a bra.and the boys
staring at her.let her wear camis or those tin-tops with a training bras sewed to it also
called "built in bras".also buy her the bras and don't ask her to wear them and do it forcy
like.tell her to just place them in her drawer and until she feels good to wear the bras,
then she can wear the bras every day with no problem.GOOD LUCK!!

36 Comments

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Pescecita99 - posted on 09/06/2016

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Hello! My daughter just turned 9 and she's developing already. It happened to me too just about her age, so it runs in the family. I am a size DDD and she probably will too. She refuses to wear training bras because she's too young and I completely understand her. Kids at school are mean and cruel about it. So what I'm doing is telling her to wear under shirts, like tank tops underneath her T-shirt and she's ok with it.
Aslo, getting padded shirts will help. Poor babies!!

Chana - posted on 03/27/2015

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Joseph very well stated especially for a dad. Equal rights or not it is not appropriate for any woman to not wear a bra in public. I do not wish to see any ones breast in public. Saying she does not have to wear a bra because they are her breast is like telling a man he does not have to wear pants because it is his penis. I don't want to see that in public either.

Joseph - posted on 03/27/2015

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I know most people here are moms, but I as a dad, I see it really inappropriate not to wear bra especially in school with both boys and girls attending it. I understand that it's her body, her choice, but you cannot control other people's reaction/lust, especially in high school. So wearing bra is one step to protecting oneself from prying eyes and plus a SCHOOL is not an place for showing your nipples (or hints of it). There are appropriate clothes for every situation. Force her to wear a bra in school, it's just appropriate.

Randyandelizabeth - posted on 03/22/2015

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Why would you force any one too wear something they don't want to wear I was forced too wear a bra growing up and now I have all kind of back trouble because of it my doctor ask me not too wear a bra and see if that helped will I have been braless for almost fore years with no back problems and I did wear a DDD bra so I ask why force her too wear a bra

David - posted on 12/27/2014

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Geez

200 years of women struggling for equal rights and respect and now you are trying to shoe-horn your daughter into some narrow bible belt view of her body and sexuality.

Geez

Did you not read the 60's book "Our Bodies - Our Selves" ?

It is HER body and HER life - HER self ...

If you want to wear a padded bra that is fine ... it is your life and your body.

Let her have equal rights to her body and her life

Geez

Maggie - posted on 12/27/2014

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Don't make your daughter do anything she doesn't feel comfortable with. If she doesn't want to wear a bra it's her choice and if girls want to tease her for it then shame on them. Besides, recent studies have shown that going braless actually benefits the breasts. Wearing bras causes the breasts to sag because it doesn't allow the breast muscles to strengthen. If anything just tell her to add a layer when she dresses or a vest. I don't wear a bra to school but no one even notices and it feels great.

Mary D.R - posted on 12/02/2014

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Going braless make your boobs GOWR BIGER OK. To going without a bras, Ok public to go without a bras Rosie Huntington Whitely, who was snapped out and about in Hollywood, clearly ok go braless - Rosie Huntington Whitely. And my second point relates to her two points. Imagine if the A/C was cranked up in your office? Having a chat with Accounts would be BRAS GIVE YOU HART ATTCTS CANCER BACK BONE
THE CELEBS WITH KILLER CLEAVAGE France, where they've just spent 15 years studying the breasts of over 330 French women (as you do). The conclusion? That wearing a bra does not prevent sagging or ease back pain as commonly thought. "Medically, physiologically, anatomically - breasts gain yes there benefit going braless Jean-Denis Bouillon, from the University of Besancon. “On the contrary, they get your bears soggier wearing a bra." Hospital go with. Out a bras yes improvement: "their nipples nature of his study. “Tissue and over time, wearing a bra every day Makes BREAST sagging."

Mary D.R - posted on 12/02/2014

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Going braless make your boobs GOWR BIGER OK. To going without a bras, Ok public to go without a bras Rosie Huntington Whitely, who was snapped out and about in Hollywood, clearly ok go braless - Rosie Huntington Whitely. And my second point relates to her two points. Imagine if the A/C was cranked up in your office? Having a chat with Accounts would be BRAS GIVE YOU HART ATTCTS CANCER BACK BONE
THE CELEBS WITH KILLER CLEAVAGE France, where they've just spent 15 years studying the breasts of over 330 French women (as you do). The conclusion? That wearing a bra does not prevent sagging or ease back pain as commonly thought. "Medically, physiologically, anatomically - breasts gain yes there benefit going braless Jean-Denis Bouillon, from the University of Besancon. “On the contrary, they get your bears soggier wearing a bra." Hospital go with. Out a bras yes improvement: "their nipples nature of his study. “Tissue and over time, wearing a bra every day Makes BREAST sagging."

Mary D.R - posted on 12/02/2014

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Going braless make your boobs GOWR BIGER OK. To going without a bras, Ok public to go without a bras Rosie Huntington Whitely, who was snapped out and about in Hollywood, clearly ok go braless - Rosie Huntington Whitely. And my second point relates to her two points. Imagine if the A/C was cranked up in your office? Having a chat with Accounts would be BRAS GIVE YOU HART ATTCTS CANCER BACK BONE
THE CELEBS WITH KILLER CLEAVAGE France, where they've just spent 15 years studying the breasts of over 330 French women (as you do). The conclusion? That wearing a bra does not prevent sagging or ease back pain as commonly thought. "Medically, physiologically, anatomically - breasts gain yes there benefit going braless Jean-Denis Bouillon, from the University of Besancon. “On the contrary, they get your bears soggier wearing a bra." Hospital go with. Out a bras yes improvement: "their nipples nature of his study. “Tissue and over time, wearing a bra every day Makes BREAST sagging."

Jane - posted on 11/28/2014

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Hi I am a mum of an 11 year old daughter and she does not wear bras, and she does not mind.

She has small breasts so I don't think she is ready for them at the moment. I make her wear a vest underneath her school shirt so no one can pick on her.

But my daughter knows when she has be naughty coz my little secret I once for a punishment made her go to school in a mini skirt and no knickers and she did not like it.

So I think you should carry on like you are just think less washing for us the mums.

Jane - posted on 11/28/2014

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Hi I am a mum of an 11 year old daughter and she does not wear bras, she does not like them.

she has small breasts and once for a punishment I made her go to her dance lesson with no bra or knickers on and all the other girls noticed but she did not mind. Just think it saves a lot of washing for us the mums.

Thanks
Jane

Maryl - posted on 04/19/2014

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Mary GoodMen Lam D.R An Lawyer Lets Her Do What She What To Do Her Breast deemed executives all type of bras give women heart attacks cancer back pain from wearing all the time you did wear bras an when without yes risk did wear bras health to go without bras all the time.? Furthermore, the study from bras wearing give women risk wearing bras all type of bras on health they were at risk from wearing bras ? Focused on women ages 18 to 35. According to France’s English-language news site The Local, one 28-year-old participant reported multiple benefits: “I breathe more easily, I carry myself better, and I having yes back pain.” We’ll see what she says at age 50. Benefit it’s to go braless all the time without bras. Also on Shine: Is Victoria’s Secret Marketing to Teens with their Bright Young Things Line? Did tell in ones about their bras reported all were at risk from wearing there bras

Maryl - posted on 04/19/2014

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deemed executives all type of bras give women heart attacks cancer back pain from wearing all the time you did wear bras an when without yes risk did wear bras health to go without bras all the time.? Furthermore, the study from bras wearing give women risk wearing bras all type of bras on health they were at risk from wearing bras ? Focused on women ages 18 to 35. According to France’s English-language news site The Local, one 28-year-old participant reported multiple benefits: “I breathe more easily, I carry myself better, and I having yes back pain.” We’ll see what she says at age 50. Benefit it’s to go braless all the time without bras. Also on Shine: Is Victoria’s Secret Marketing to Teens with their Bright Young Things Line? Did tell in ones about their bras reported all were at risk from wearing there bras

Kathy - posted on 02/16/2014

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This is the opposite of my daughter. Mum daughter felt very self conscious when bending down and the shirt not tight touching the skin and begged for a bra. You know what tell her soon she will have to start changing in locker rooms and will feel very weird because everyone will be staring at her boob and nipple seeing how developed she is while they have bras to cover it. It is true

Georgia - posted on 02/13/2014

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Also you should think about telling your child to get a sports bra when they are nine so they can get used to whirring one

Georgia - posted on 02/13/2014

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i agree with Emily. I am a 13 year old girl andI remember when I got my first bra. I was like "Ok when do we leave?" then, when I had to get my bra fit, I was like, "Do we have to go?" so make it fun for her the first time!

Sammy - posted on 02/05/2014

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Well my 12 year old daughter developed breasts already and she wears sports bras. She doesn't like being half-naked in public because she's that "anonymous in the corner." She doesn't show too much skin in my appearance. She's more like a tomboy.

User - posted on 09/09/2013

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I agree, Emily! This is exactly what I have been doing with my twelve year old daughter!

San - posted on 10/22/2012

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I'm agree with Emily. If you are a mother and your teen daughter needs a bra but doesn't want to wear one, it's your duty to make her do it, even if yo have to use your motherly authority. Tell her she can't go to school without a bra because it's inappropriate, and punish her if she disobeys - for example, takes off her bra when you are not around.

Shubina - posted on 10/15/2012

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Convince her that she needs it or her body will go out of shape. she will surely understand you :).tell her you also wear it and every other girl wear it to keep in shape :)

Emily - posted on 10/13/2012

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I think the only option is to force her (after eliminating problems like comfort/size/back pain etc). I think you should put the bra with her clothes daily (if you still choose her clothes), or put a hand on her shoulder every day if you can't see through her clothes to feel for the strap and force her to go back upstairs and put one on if she's not wearing one. She still is a child and might be fighting growing up; but I know you would never forgive yourself (even though it wouldn't be your fault at all) if anything happened to her *because* she wasn't wearing a bra. You need to protect your little girl, and forcing her to wear a bra can keep her just that little bit safer from the freaks in this world.

Josselyn - posted on 10/08/2012

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I think it's weird that she doesn't want to wear it to school.

My daughter started wearing a bra around that age and she actually is the one who told me she wanted to because she felt uncomfortable. Plus, a lot of my daughters friends were already wearing bras at her age anyway.

Patty - posted on 10/07/2012

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So, force her to wear a bra. Tell her she can't go to school without one.

Claudia - posted on 08/27/2012

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Well ask her why she doesn't want to wear them to school because I remember I was emmbaresed of my growing b**bs and then if she doesn't wear them just get her some padded camisoles I hope this is helpful

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