10 questions you should ask yourself before having kids

Katherine - posted on 05/11/2012 ( 12 moms have responded )




1. Do you like to sleep in?

If your answer is yes, consider getting a gerbil. If no, continue to the next question.

2. Are you totally cool with someone throwing up all over you? Repeatedly?

If yes, then I question your sanity for the job. If no, don't worry, you'll get used to it.

3. Can you go three days without sleep and still drive a car?

If you answered no, make sure you live by a reliable means of public transportation before getting pregnant. If yes, I want whatever it is you've got.

4. Do you require privacy to do your business in the bathroom?

If yes, prepare for problems, and invest in a good laxative.

5. Are you prepared to say goodbye to the sound of yourself thinking for at least the next 18 years?

If no, don't worry, you will quickly forget that such a sound even existed. There are plenty of new and unusual sounds that will take its place (Mommmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyy!).

6. Do you have a whole list of things you'll NEVER do as a parent? Do you hate to be wrong?

If yes to both, start by ripping that list up right now.

7. Do you love input from strangers on things that are none of their business and adore being judged for pretty much every move you make?

If no, proceed with caution and start practicing deep breathing techniques.

8. Can you clean up puke, change 10 crib sheets, make dinner, and help someone do homework while running a fever of 103?

Okay, no one thinks they can.

9. Do you like to fly on airplanes and eat in restaurants without the burning eyes of hatred from hundreds of glaring strangers searing into your skin?

If yes, think of adopting a 17-year-old. People usually start to be kinder to kids in public around that age.

10. Are you good at scraping things off of floors -- like oh, say ... your PRIDE?

This is pretty much the biggest deal breaker. Your personal pride all but evaporates it comes to leaking breasts, public potty accidents, and children who blurt out exactly the wrong thing at the wrong time. The best you can do is scrape up the scraps and carry on.

Bonus question: Are you prepared for the most rewarding and amazing roller coaster ride of your life that's worth any of the hard stuff?

If yes, then get to procreating, because the rest of it doesn't really matter in the scheme of things.

What questions would you add to this list that people should ask themselves before becoming parents?

Here's one: Do you like to go out?

Because you'll never do it again!!!! Mwhahahaha!


Teresa - posted on 05/14/2012




DO you have this picture of what kind of mother your are or aren't going to be? Then frame, it and burn it and join the real world of motherhood.


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Teresa - posted on 05/16/2012




I had a coworker that had a 3 year old herself ask me if I had to go potty? It came out so naturally.

[deleted account]

....and referring to yourself in the third person. eg: Mummy is going out side now. or: Come and see what Mummy has for you. or: Mummy doesn't like what you are doing.... My youngest is 5 and I still catch myself doing this sometimes :-)

Katherine - posted on 05/15/2012




Yeah really Jennifer! Now it's baby talk. Not even thinking I still say, "do you want to go night, night to my 3 year old." Oops.

Jennifer - posted on 05/15/2012




Do you enjoying talking in an adult voice, with others doing the same? LOL, never again!!

Happy - posted on 05/12/2012




I got lucky with number 1. My kiddos LOVE to sleep in but of course I think bed sharing kinda helps with that! ;) Love that my kiddos are sleepers!!!!!

The rest of the list is SPOT ON! LOL

[deleted account]

Do you like to hear the news on TV? If so, get yourself some headphones that plug into the telly or get used to having the TV news on at full volume.

Corinne - posted on 05/12/2012




Do you like to have hair on your head? 'Cause by the time your baby has given up pulling lumps of it out, the terrible twos will have YOU doing it instead.

Amy - posted on 05/12/2012




Do you like dressing trendy and shopping for new clothes each season?

Evaluate what's in your closet now, will you be ok wearing those clothes till they get holes in them and start falling apart? But when they start falling apart you will have to buy cheap replacements because you can not afford to buy anything for yourself.

Stifler's - posted on 05/12/2012




Number 6 so true.

Do you ever want to spend money on yourself again?

I mean... the $2 left after nappies, formula, new shoes since they grew out of the pair you just bought

Amy - posted on 05/11/2012




Do you like going on vacation and doing things that interest you?

If so start looking for a nanny to travel with you, and I'm sure there are fun things do around Sesame place and other kid friendly attractions!

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