
Lauren - posted on 12/30/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )
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My fiancée's sister & I never had many issues originally, she was just not overly friendly towards me. My fiancée did warn me that she can have attitude problems & the family generally just shrugs their shoulders & says that's (R) - I won't list her name, I'll just call her R. Anyway, I never really took it personally & we were polite enough to one another at family gatherings. Then one Christmas 3 yrs ago, my fiancée's ex wife dropped his kids off to his parents & the ex wife & sister chatted & I heard the sister say it had been too long & they should get together & they exchanged phone numbers. So they began spending more time together & they began complaining about me to one another & seemed to find joy in being upset with me together, for instance when I asked my fiancée if his daycare costs dropped when his son started 1st grade & only attended after school care. He asked the ex wife for updated invoices. She couldn't provide them so he refused to give her his share of daycare costs until she provided invoices. The sister got upset on behalf of the ex wife & complained about me to her Mother. Obviously this info made it back to me via my fiancée. The sister & ex wife felt it was my fault for putting the idea in my fiancées head to ask for invoices, conveniently forgetting that it was a requirement written in the divorce decree & all I really did was mention that daycare should have been cheaper since he wasn't in full day care anymore. Anyway, despite these issues we still played pretend on holidays & she still got gifts for my kids on Christmas & birthdays. This year I know the sister got worked up when I told the ex wife my fiancée was switching jobs & there might be a lapse in the kids healthcare. I happened to mention she might want to look into Medicaid for the kids for the few weeks they didn't have healthcare. The sister said how dare I suggest the ex wife get Medicaid for them when the father is legally obligated to provide the healthcare. I said he can't get Medicaid since the kids don't live with him. Only the parent the child resides with can apply. Anyway, that was about three weeks ago. On Christmas, my son went with my fiancée to his parents. I stayed home since I didn't feel like playing pretend with the sister & her attitude. When they arrived home I asked my fiancée if his sister said anything about me. He said no; however, she gave my fiancées 3 kids Christmas presents & then gave my son nothing. His Mother gave him an apologetic look & said something like she can't force R to buy my kids Christmas gifts. They went to the parents on Saturday so they could see the brother this time. My daughter went this time since she wasn't with her Dad like she was on Christmas. His Mother gave my daughter a Christmas & bday gift (her bday was the 26th), the brother gave my daughter a Christmas & bday gift & both gave my son a Christmas gift, but the sister gave nothing. I emailed her to say that if she has issues with me, she has no reason to take it out on my kids!! They have no idea she doesn't like me. They call her Auntie R & always ask to go to her house & swim in her pool. My daughter asked me why Auntie R doesn't like them anymore since she gave them gifts before. I couldn't even say she was broke & couldn't afford them cause they watched my fiancées kids open big expensive gifts from her. It's not even the gifts that are the issue. It's her desire to make my kids feel like outsiders & to try to hurt them to hurt me. I think it's absolutely disgusting!!! When I emailed the sister she said she's not obligated to buy gifts for her brothers girlfriends kids. She said she takes care of her brothers kids quite well & if I have a problem with it then that's my problem. She claimed that part of the reason was cause my fiancée, and therefore I, did not buy a gift for her daughter. Her daughter is 19. 3 yrs ago all the brothers & sisters made a pact not to buy gifts for adults anymore, only kids. So starting this yr, all the family members treated the daughter as one of the adults. I don't buy that excuse. Cause then why buy for her brothers kids when he didn't get a gift either?? I used to stay home & assume that as long as I didn't see her there would be no issues, but now she's taking out her issues with me on my kids since I'm not there. I don't know how to handle this going forward?? My kids want to see the brother & grandparents & I know his Mom won't refuse to let the sister come just cause she acts like this. So how can I keep my kids from being her targets while still letting them see the other family? I really want to make it clear to the sister that this type of behavior is not acceptable & that we won't get together with her & play pretend while she behaves like this. I feel like she acts this way because her family tends to turn a blind eye & just ignore it therebye making the behavior somewhat acceptable in their eyes or at least permitting her to continue this type of behavior with no repercussions.
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Cristina - posted on 01/02/2013
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Like my mom says: "Don;t be so darn sensitive"...Tell your kid she is a juvenile bitch and move on. II don't change the world for my children, I TEACH them how to handle it. My ex's GF did not get the kids anything for Christmas even though they bought her stuff; they told me "Eh, she is just a two-faced selfish woman" and we laughed about it and I bought them an extra toy and told them we don;t need any cr#p from anybody. On the other hand, my MIL went over-board with presents for my kids as well, and God bless Her for that :)