How much responsibility shoud I expect my husband to take for my kids ( his step kids)?

Jessica - posted on 02/16/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )




My kids' father is very uninvolved, and at the beginning of our marriage, my husband was very helpful with my kids, getting them off to school if needed, watching them so I could have breaks, helping with homework, entertaining them so I could cook dinner, that kind of stuff. He saw how absent their real dad was and stepped up to be there for them.

Now I am very pregnant with our first child together... and he isn't involved with my kids at all. He misses their awards ceremonies, school programs, doesn't help with anything anymore, won't even help get them to school when I have been up ALL NIGHT sick or in pain with contractions ( we've had a complicated pregnancy).

Am I right to be upset? Or do I expect too much from him? Should he even be expected to do anything at all with / for my kids? Discipline is pretty much left up to me, and I am ok with that, but does that mean he shouldn't help with anything else, either? I feel like a single parent here, but I'm not...


View replies by

Jen - posted on 05/15/2012




If you ask my husband how many children he has, say you see him in Walmart, he will answer 3 - every time. (although 2 of them are step children) - he should be there equally for all of them.. remind him that it was a package deal.. you AND the kids :)

He sits through my daughters 4 hour dance recitals and my son's science fairs - with the same enthusiasm that he sits though OUR child's actiivities.. is it an act? Maybe, but really, it doesn't matter.. as long as the KIDS see he is there, that is all that counts... :)

Barb - posted on 05/03/2012




Omg!!! He should be helping you even more now with your kids now that you are pregnant. You are completely not wrong. When he married you he made a decision to be a huge part of your kids lives...HUGE red flag that things changed now that you are pregnant with HIS child. You better set him straight before this new baby comes or it will get even worse!!! Sorry to be negative but your kIds deserve more!

Josephine - posted on 03/07/2012




He should be involved in every way. He knew what role and responsibility he was taking on. And honestly what type of father will he be to yalls? And your marriage will be in trouble if he favors y'alls over your children from the previous relationship.

Kay - posted on 02/16/2012




I would talk to him about it. I mean, I can see where he might not feel completely comfortable, but if you are a blended family, let him know that your kids need him right now too. They need to know that they still have a place in your home, with both of you, even with a new baby coming along. This was very important for us with my stepdaughters when our son was on the way.

Also, he needs to see that YOU need him. Even if he isn't completely comfortable, at the end of the day, it is about supporting you too. And it sounds like you need it right now.

Good luck!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms