My step-son is not happy unless he is hurting his brother and sister.

Nici - posted on 01/17/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )




My step-son has lived with us for four years, since he was six. I love him and his sister like they were my own and before our one came along, they were the children I never had.

Is it ok to say that I love him, but don't like him? He has "Reactive Attachment Disorder resulting in ADHD" and he is a horrible nasty little boy most of the time.

He is not happy unless he is hurting his brother or sister, whether it be physically or emotionally. If they are not around, he wrecks things, like cutting up his quilt, or destroying their toys.

His psychologist tells me to ignore the bad behaviour, and praise him when he does something good. Am I supposed to allow him to inflict pain and simply let it go? If I let him go, doesn't it show him that what he is doing is ok?

I can't just stand by and let it continue. It has grown steadily worse in the past twelve months, and I worry that it will end up with one of the kids in hospital. Any suggestions?


Jennifer - posted on 01/17/2009




Well first I would like to commend you for being a patient parent of a RAD child because they can be a whole different world. Second I would like to say your doing the right thing in trying to find alternatives to ignoring the behavior that hurts your other children.

What I would tell you is there is alot of support groups and programs to deal with these types of situations I have a friend who counsels mainly RAD kids in the home. I would look to your psychologist and ask lots of questions about resourses to help you, him, and your other children.

Hope this helps. Wishing your family the best.

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