What to put into documentation

Marcella - posted on 05/16/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Hi all again, as some of the moms know my fiance and I have been fighting with the state to regain custody of his children, well our worst fears have come to pass and his ex wife has gotten custody of the children, here is our question what exactly do we put into a documentation? We have been told to document everything from what they say to any bruises,bitemarks etc. We want to appeal this for the reason of they say she makes a more "stable" home which we are failing to see she lives with her mom,does not work,does not drive, and it is even stated that her mom has to help her with normal life things as in making appointments and such. Can anyone help me out here so I can start this process thank you

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Maria - posted on 06/02/2010

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Congratulations on your mariage. Also on getting custody of the oldest. Hang in there, as you said it is a start. If you persevere things will turn out. Sometimes it just takes a little longer. Unfortunately the children suffer in the mean time. It is a hard road. I know from experience. But, it worked out for us...we have all the kids with my husband and I. Just remember as long as you stay cool headed and present things in a factual calm manner...the truth is on your side. My prayers are with you.

Marcella - posted on 06/01/2010

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To the moms who have posted thank you so much we are documenting and letting the caseworker know we have gotten word that we are getting the oldest it is a start and as of May 29 we are now husband and wife, we hope that this is the door opening we need

Rebecca - posted on 06/01/2010

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In Colorado they have something called a CFI or civil family investigator. They go to both homes, talk to the children, and in some cases others outside the home to find out which home really is best. It can cost a fair amount of money, but it could be worth it. Keep up with the documentation too. Sorry for the situation.

Kelsey - posted on 05/19/2010

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How scary! I'm so sorry. I hope the baby is ok, and I really do wish you the best of luck. If I can help in any way, just message me.

Marcella - posted on 05/19/2010

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Kelsey we have 10 days until we are married the sad thing is now the boys had their first weekend visit with their mom and the youngest boy (22mnth) got light bulb burns i say nearly 2nd degree three times,CSU was called sheriff and he was taken to the hospital bu the foster family because the mother did not she let it go all day. So we took pictures and documented that thank you

Kelsey - posted on 05/18/2010

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My husband and I are going through a custody battle for his 11 yr old daughter, and we've been keeping hard-core documentation. Journal everything, from what you feed them when they are with you, what activities you do together, to whatever the kids have to say about their lives with their mom. Get in contact with their schools or day cares and make sure you get copies of everything. Keep copies of medical records, take pictures, and make sure that any communication you have with their mom is in writing. If you suspect abuse, place reports with CPS. I know people say they are no one's friend, but in our case, my step daughter's mom has a huge CPS file and it is helping cinch the whole case.

Oh, and hurry up and get married - it looks more stable to the judge if you're not just living together.

Best of luck!

[deleted account]

My advice is keep it factual, heresay wont get you very far. If someone eg a child makes a discloser you can quote it but document it as a quote. Apart from that as stated before write down dates and times of everything. More is better then less as long as its facts. If possible add photos of things like bruises etc.

Maria - posted on 05/16/2010

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Its pretty much what you already stated. I would keep a notebook of all conversations, visits, bruises, phonecalls, including dates and times that everything happened. More is better. You may not need all of it, but you want to have as much as you can. That way you are prepared for anything that may come up. I have found by experience that what you expect the judge to focus on isn't always what happens and you want to be prepared if you are thrown for a curve ball.

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