Miscarriage Support

Tasha - posted on 12/30/2008 ( 68 moms have responded )

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Since my last miscarriage 4 months ago I have joined many miscarriage support groups on FB. I thought it would be good to have a place for LDS women to give each other love and support as we view the loss of a pregnancy differently than many others.

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Tasha - posted on 12/30/2008

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My name is Tasha and I have 4 kids, ages 9, 6, 4, & 2. I have also lost 6 babies, 3 of them in the past 17 months (all between 6 & 13 weeks). I am still coming to terms with my last couple of miscarriages and suffering PPD because of them. I have a very supportive husband, which helps, and have been relying on my Heavenly Father a lot.

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Ofonime - posted on 01/04/2013

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Hi, my name is Pat and I just had a surgical procedure this morning after having a miscarriage. I cannot begin to explain how I feel as this is the second miscarriage in a row in twelve months I am so heartbroken and devastated because I was about 12 weeks gone and at the Dr off I was told the gestational sac was empty. Just like that my world falls apart, I prayed for a miracle that it was an ultra sound glitch but after two other scans I had no option but to agree to a DC.
In all things I still give thanks because I have two beautiful children Debbie 6 and David 4. My heart goes out to women that have suffered multiple miscarriages with no support now I know exactly how they feel as I am Nigerian and we were expected to grieve a baby that was never born. I have so many questions why me why now. I have never had a problem getting pregnat talk less of Loss my dr says cos I am getting older my body is changing am 35 now had my other kids under 30. So heartbroken do sad do not want ever consider trying again buy my husband wants at least one child so we can stop. Just wanted to pour my heart out thanks for listening Ladies. God bless

Tamara - posted on 07/22/2010

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I've made it to 21 weeks!! Just thought I'd update you all. I'll be going in for my 6th ultrasound on Monday and then my 10th appointment. So I'm almost always at the dr./hospital but everything is going well and my little boy is growing well.

Schyla - posted on 05/04/2010

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We just found out were expecting again I am 6 weeks 6 days I am due the week of Christmas, I too wonder why I'd risk it again but the Lord knows what we can and cannot handle so we are happy to welcome this baby into our life's.

Tamara - posted on 05/03/2010

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We've got another one on the way. I'm 10 weeks today, had four ultrasounds already and some days don't know how I'm feeling or why I'd risk it again. Other days I'm excited and can't wait for November.

Schyla - posted on 04/04/2010

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I was five weeks and I am doing ok most days sometimes it stings a little when someone I know complains about not wanting to be pregnant or is in a bad place and ends up being pregnant espishily this soon I sometimes feel like salt is being poored into an open woned when dealing with that kind of situation and it feels like it's happening often since I lost that baby. but we have prayed about it and we want to try again soon.

Tamara - posted on 04/02/2010

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Schyla, how far were you? And how are you doing?

As for me, we are going to try this baby thing one more time. I'm pregnant now, due in November. I am on a med that may or may not help. Also we are going to try and see if being on Heparin helps out, giving myself a shot twice a day everyday. Hey, I say if we get a healthy baby it is worth the bruises.

Schyla - posted on 03/30/2010

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I lost a baby two weeks ago and people that I know who do not share my beliefs have a hard time understanding why I'm not still depressed (I am sad) but I have a very strong testimony that I will get to have that precious sole in the life here after I also feel honored that such a pure sole choose me as their mother. I'm glad that I found this group

Tasha - posted on 01/20/2010

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Good evening ladies. I've been thinking about all you lately. I hope you are all doing well.

Tasha - posted on 12/06/2009

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I agree that it does get easier the further along in your pregnancy you get, but the worry never does go away for me. Always just a niggling in the back of my head. Blessing do help, a lot! I agree with Amy that that's the way to go.

Tamara I agree that having kids isn't suppose to be so hard! Especially when more than anything you want them and have a happy, loving home to bring them into. Have you and your husband attended the temple together with pregnancy as your question? I've found that going to the temple with a prayer in your heart is a good way to get an answer. Maybe that would help to soften him towards another child or help you come to grips with where you are at. I still long for another child, but know we won't be having more. My husband had a vasectomy a few months back, the risk just outweighed the small chance of carrying a baby (especially since I'm on bed rest the entire 9 months). We are open to adoption though, so who knows I might get that other baby a little later in life. Being done was such a hard decision to make, but I know it was the right one even if I hate it. Hopefully you will still be able to have another.

Amy - posted on 12/03/2009

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Ashleigh- It does get easier but you always have that worry in the back of your mind. The thing that helped me after my miscarriages ( I had 1 at 12 weeks, 1 at 16 weeks and 1 at 18 weeks) & through my subsequent pregnancies was that I asked for a blessing. That got me throught the rough spots and the worrying if everything was ok. I now have 3 healthy boys but at every DR appt. I would hold my breath until I heard that heart beat!

Tamara - posted on 12/03/2009

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Tomorrow will be one year from when we lost Christian. All week I've been out of it, sad and moody. I think one of the reasons I'm having such issue with it is I feel like nothing has changed in the last year. I still feel the need to add to our family and haven't been able to. To make it worse we were planning on waiting for about 6-12 month after losing Brian (in September 09) to try again so I went and had an IUD put in but I hate it. I don't feel okay about having it and wasn't comfortable getting it put in, but my husband isn't willing to talk about it. He wouldn't talk to me before getting it, so to keep the peace I keep my appointment. And he just yells at me to do whatever I want when I try to talk with him about it. I want to do what is right for us and not have him be mad at me for it. Blah!! Having kids wasn't suppose to be so hard!

Tamara - posted on 12/03/2009

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Ashleigh, I was very worried after my first miscarriage until I passed 12 weeks, (our loss was at 11 weeks.)
It dose get easier the longer the pregnancy goes.
Good luck to you.

Ashleigh - posted on 11/15/2009

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Hey there. Im Ashleigh, and lost my baby at 11 and a half weeks. Im so happy to find this post!! Im finding it somewhat hard to deal with since the due date is approaching. Doesn't help that I have 3 friends with the same due date (not even weeks apart, same day, how fair is that?? lol). We already have one son, he is 19 months old now. We are trying to conceive again, just need to wait a couple of days to see if my period comes!! For those of you who have successfully carried a baby after a miscarriage, does the worry ever leave throughout the pregnancy? Does it fade away once you pass the time you lost other babies?? I feel like I am going to be sooo nervous when/if I do get pregnant again. I want to enjoy the pregnancy, but I don't want to give myself any false hope.

Tasha - posted on 11/06/2009

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I know my husband didn't want to try again after my 4th miscarriage. We did lose 2 more after that before we stopped. His reason for not wanting to try again is how hard it was for him to watch me suffer more with each loss. I think many men feel this way. They want to protect us, from everything. By not getting pregnant you don't risk losing another baby, so thereby protecting you. This might not be your husband's thinking, but I know it was mine. It took him forever to tell me though! I just told him that I needed to try again, I could just feel that baby waiting. Now those babies are just waiting in another place to join our family. :) Pray about it, attend the temple together with this in mind, that can also help him have some peace on the subject.

Tamara - posted on 10/30/2009

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I was talking with my sister-in-law yesterday and she has had complication to her health while pregnant. She told her husband one day that she felt very strongly that they needed to have another baby, but he didn't want to risk her life. But after going to the temple she knew it was the right thing to do and talked to her husband again, who still wasn't okay with it, she told him that he'd better be ready by what ever day because she was off to get her IUD out. He's good with it now and they are going to have a boy in January. But after I told my husband this he said I may have to do the same thing if I start feeling that way. That helped, to know that he may never be able to say he's ready, but that he'd listen to my knowledge of what is good for our family. He acknowledges that women have a better knowledge on when and how many to add to the family.

User - posted on 10/29/2009

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Give it some time. It took me four or five months to get to the point where I would discuss having more children. We are right where you are. My husband always wanted four and we have two and have lost two.

Tamara - posted on 10/29/2009

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My husband and I have always talked about having four kids, we've lost three and have two at home. I still want more I'd like to bring home two more, but my husband doesn't want to try for two and he may not be okay with ever trying again. He wont really talk to me about it at all. I know that I would never get past not having any more, but don't know how to talk to my husband about it without him getting mad. He is still so angry about losing the last one. I don't know what to do, any advice?

User - posted on 10/17/2009

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I went to see my doctor a few days ago and she had a ton of great advice for us. I feel much more at peace then I did before. Not sure we are going to try any more but that is okay.

Tasha - posted on 10/15/2009

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Natalie I just read back through previous posts and saw that October was your previous due date. That makes it doubly hard!!! My last miscarriage was within a couple days of when the previous due date would have been. I still struggle with it some days. (((((HUGS)))))

Tasha - posted on 10/15/2009

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I'm so sorry to hear you lost another baby! Having other baby's due close to your due date is awful. With my one of my last miscarriage there were 4 or 5 ladies in the ward due within 4 weeks of my due date. Needless to say that was a really rough time for me. The guys don't get the emotional part of it. Mine says it's because it doesn't really seem real. Let me know if there is anything we can do for you.

User - posted on 10/11/2009

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Ten days ago I suffered another miscarriage. I was six weeks along. I am ready to start trying again but DH isn't there yet. The hardest part is my sister in law will be due right around the same time I was due with my first m/c. Annoying to say the least. DH doesn't see why I get so emotional in baby blessing. Today the lesson was on families and I had to teach. Two of my friends have also had two miscarriages in the same time frame I have. All three of us our dealing with this in totally different ways.

Theresa - posted on 10/10/2009

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Quoting Tamara:

Hi, I'm Tamara, my husband and I have two kids, 6 and 3. We also have two that we have lost one five years ago at 11 weeks, also our baby boy Christian who we lost at 18 weeks. It is particularly hard for me because it takes me a while to get pregnant, then I don't know if I'm going to lose the baby or not. Being closer to my Heavenly Father for this lose has made all the difference in the world. Five years ago when I was struggling with the gospel, I laid on the couch or in bed all day, barely taking care of my daughter, I could hardly think of anything but the baby and my husband holding my hand made me cringe and pull away. But with losing this one, I feel a peace that there was a reason, and everything will turn out good and right. After only 4 weeks I am ready to start trying for another baby, don't tell my husband yet.


Hey there Tamara, This is Theresa. I was in Color Guard at Copper Hills HIgh. I am married to Bradley Pitts. I just read your reply on Miscarriage support. I am sorry to hear that you had to go through such difficulties. I feel your pain. I actually have had 3 miscarrages last year in a 4 1/2 month time span (March- July). one at 12 weeks in March of 07, then one at 6 weeks in June, then one at 5 weeks in July. We weren't event trying. I called it quits at that point. A part of me is always wondering if...these 3 wonderful spirits are waiting for Brad and I to raise them in the spirit world or they actually will join us here on Earth later in life. Who knows. Brad and I went to visit Arizona for a week and we came home prego. Who knew. Now out lovely Arizona souvenir (born in April 08 3 wks early). is a wonderful, loud and bubbly girl. I to We may try sometime on 2010 after Brad graduates from school. We'll see.

Tamara - posted on 09/24/2009

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We are having a graveside service for another one of my baby boys tomorrow.

User - posted on 09/16/2009

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Thanks Tasha. Our ward didn't know I was pregnant and it feels odd telling people that I was pregnant but then I am not. I just started back at school and that seems to help keep me busy so I don't sink into a horrible depression. Just a mild one. :)

Tasha - posted on 09/16/2009

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Hi Natalie, I'm sorry about your loss. The due date of your baby is a hard one. I still get slightly depressed on my missed due dates. I think that people don't understand that you still need support, unless they have been there. If you ever need someone to talk to please send me a message. We recently decided that our family is where it is going to be. It was a really hard decision to make and we waited almost a full year since my last miscarriage to make it.

User - posted on 09/16/2009

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I just wanted to introduce my self. I had a miscarriage in March and I am still unsure if we are going to try to have any more children. The Lord has a plan and I am thinking that it may be that I may just be a mom of two.

I have been having a hard time lately as I get closer and closer to my due date in October. The hardest part is I feel like I have zero support sometimes.

Tamara - posted on 09/12/2009

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I know that I have more kids to raise. At this point...well not right now, but it just comes down to how they come into my home.

Tasha - posted on 09/11/2009

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Oh Tamara, I'm SO sorry! It's never easy to lose a baby, but after you pass 12 weeks it seems almost worse. My heart goes out to you right now. My hubby just got a vasectomy last month because we couldn't go through it any more, 6 miscarriages was my breaking point. I still wish for that one more baby though. Give yourself some time before you make the decision. It's such a hard decision to make.

Tamara - posted on 09/11/2009

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Update for me, I went for my appointment (17 weeks). Baby's heart stopped. He was born yesterday and now I get to decide weather I want to try again or just give it up all together.

Tasha - posted on 08/10/2009

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That's so great to hear! I'm so happy for you. :)

Keep us updated, we can all use good news.

Tamara - posted on 08/10/2009

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I just passed 12 weeks and things are looking good so far. We've had 2 ultrasounds and the baby's heart has looked good for both of them. My Dr. may want to see me every week starting at the end of this month. We'll see what he says on the 26th.

Tasha - posted on 08/09/2009

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How are things going with your pregnancy Tamara? I hope everything is going well!

Tamara - posted on 06/25/2009

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Okay, we are on round five. I am 6 weeks pregnant now and have decided to go to a high risk dr. We have told our parents and are going to wait to tell people until 12 weeks, maybe. I might not be able to hide it that long this baby apparently wants people to know it's here by popping away from me(showing a little already).

Tasha - posted on 06/14/2009

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After 3 miscarriages the chance of miscarrying again is about 50%. Before that though there aren't any statistics. After talking to my husband about this, here is his/my advice. My husband said the hardest part of our miscarriages for him was watching me have to go through it. He knew that he would see that child later, but he had to watch the pain I was in now. So his question would be, could you emotionally handle another miscarriage (should it happen)? I know that I could not, which is part of why we are done. If you can, talk to your husband about it. Let him know that you are willing to take the risk. If you do get pregnant again, I wouldn't wait longer than you normally do to tell anyone. With my last miscarriage we hadn't told anyone, out of fear of another loss. So when I did miscarry, no one knew. That is the time when you want those around you there for you and your family, not standing aside scratching their heads. On a personal note, if we had stopped after my 3rd miscarriage we would not have our last 2 kids. And I would not give them up for the world! I don't know if this is helpful or not, but it's what I've got at the moment. Good luck! Let us know how things go baby wise. :)

Tamara - posted on 06/14/2009

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I have a question. My husband is unsure about another pregnancy. Not the baby at the end, but he is really scared that we will lose a third baby. How do I help him feel better about it? He wants to wait until people are asking if I'm pregnant because I'm showing before telling anyone. Any advice would be great.

Tamara - posted on 06/14/2009

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I have a question. My husband is unsure about another pregnancy. Not the baby at the end, but he is really scared that we will lose a third baby. How do I help him feel better about it? He wants to wait until people are asking if I'm pregnant because I'm showing before telling anyone. Any advice would be great.

Tasha - posted on 05/06/2009

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I hate it when the due dates roll around for the first time. That's the worst, your mind can't help going there. I'm so grateful for the spirit also in those times.

Tamara - posted on 05/06/2009

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My due date was yesterday. I'm sad that all I imagined for this month wont be even close to happening. But glad that I'm not a depressed mess. Thank goodness for the sprite to left up when we need it.

Jessica - posted on 04/21/2009

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Hi I have one beautfil little girl after miscarring 5 times and loosing 6 babys. the thing that got me throug was knowing that



1) i would get the chance to raize my children



2) that they only needed a body and i was the lucky one to be aloud to provide them theirs.



3) that they r probably doing more where they r becouse thats here they were needed

Tasha - posted on 04/19/2009

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I've thought about this a lot, which is normal after losing a baby. I have to believe that those babies will be part of our family. I saw one of my baby's heartbeat at 8 weeks, 5 weeks before I lost him or her. I've always believed that the veil is non-existent while the baby is in the womb, but that the spirit is there. I could be wrong, but I hope not. My oldest (he's 9) is also comforted by the thought that those 6 babies will be part of our family in time, though he's not too sure about not being the oldest anymore. ;) I'll have to look into the book. So my 2 cents is, a baby's heart starts beating 5 weeks into the pregnancy. If that is not a sign of life what is? I believe that my loving Heavenly Father has a special place for these babies and is keeping them safe for us.

Tamara - posted on 04/19/2009

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Louise, I've wondered the same thing. I've miscarried two babies on at 18 weeks and I have no questions with him. I'm sure he is doing the Lord's will on the other side. But with the first baby we lost it was at 11 weeks I have wondered from time to time. I don't have an answer for you, but wanted you to know it doesn't sound ridiculous, at least not to me.
Amy, thank you for the book suggestion I think I am going to go pick it up.

Amy - posted on 04/19/2009

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Louise read the book "gone to soon" I can't think who the author is but it was given to me when I had my miscarriages and it answered alot of questions. I passed it on to another mom who needed it when I was done. I've seen it at seagull book or Deseret Book.

Louise - posted on 04/19/2009

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i think this is a great topic too. i had 3 miscarriages before having my 3 babies. it was incredibly hard because all i ever wanted in my life was to be a mom and i was so scared i would never carry a baby to term. i went through the adoption process but by then i was in my 4th pregnancy and i stayed pregnant!!!

my first baby was a real challenge. she cried ALL the time. didn't sleep either. it was hard for me to have gone through 3 miscarriages wanting a baby so bad and then finally having a baby that exhausted me emotionally all the time. she is 3.5 now and has been diagnosed with severe anxiety. so actually having a baby wasn't as "easy" as i had hoped but i think i was stronger than i would have been and more prepared.

after her i had 2 easy breezy pregnancies and they were easy babies YAY.

anyway...my question is (and i think i know the answer, but i dont understand it) will those 3 babies i miscarried be part of my family in the afterlife or is there a certain point where they become people? it sounds really ridiculous asking but i'm sure i'm not the only one that has a really hard time imagining a 6-12 week old not even a fetus being a child???

Stacey - posted on 04/19/2009

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hi. what a great idea. i wish i had had this in 1998 and 2006 when i had a miscarriage and ectopic! Good for you!

Tasha - posted on 04/04/2009

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Thank you Tamara! I was just listening and so missed who it was. It was a great talk.

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