im new to this and my intro

Kayla - posted on 01/25/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hello Im 21 with 2 children my little boy will be 3 in less than a month and my daughter is 16 months!! so i am busy busy i also work full time... i had also considered myself bi-curious ive messed around with girls all growing up but never dated one till i met my girlfriend! she was friends with my best friend and we saw her at the bar one night we got to talking cuz she owns her own daycare and i happened to be looking for daycare... she started watching my kids in june and my kids father and i had been going through a divorce since feb of 09 we kept putting it off cuz we wanted to try and make things work. than in aug we had moved back to our home town which is where i worked so i didnt have to comunte anymore plus thats where they daycare was also wel once we moved back my best friend and i and my daycare provider all started hanging out which her name is jess btw.... the more and more i hung out with jess and got to know her i started to fall for her i finally worked up the nerve to leave my now ex husband in oct of 09 and jess and i started dating later that month.... i couldnt be happier!!! and weve been together ever since shes stood by me through some pretty hard shit my divorce got finalized dec 19th and i now have full custody of my kids and the father only gets to see them twice a week supervised curtousy of DHS!! my family all knows for the most part some of them are choosing not to knowledge my relationship with her and i can see my kids as young as they are are starting to relize that her and i are together and they are starting to act out at times which due to all the major changes in their lives i figured would happened.... i jst wanted to say hi and if u have any advice for me that would be greatly helpful thanks!!!

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Kayla - posted on 01/27/2010

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no thank u ya it is a little lat efor the whole slow thing cuz see jess is also their day care provider she does it out of her house and the kids had been in her day care for about 7 months before her and i got together and even then before when we were just messing around we would go out to eat with the kids and take them to the park and do things together as much as we could but still let me have my alone time with them... now me and the kids basically live with her but i still have my apt so we can go home and have time apart and shit like that... but we dont hide anything from them jess and i act ourselves and they see us kiss and cuddle and do things couples do and we have talked to my 3 yr old i think its jst when jess and i first started dating the kids were going everyother week to their dads and now jst within the past 3 weeks i got full custody and now they only see their dad 2 days a week for an hour and a half supervised and thats a pretty big change for them and thats around the time that they started acting out... but thanks for the advice but yes jess i do see as a possible life partner and not jst a fling and her and i have talked about it in jst the case that if we did happen to end things they would still continue to go to her daycare so she would still be apart of their life.... she means the world to my kids and i know they love her deeply so im not about to stip someone who is a jst as big of apart in their lives as i am

Alie - posted on 01/26/2010

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Lifetime lesbian here so I don't know a whole lot about your situation. So really, the only advice I can give is to always put your children first. Don't worry what other family members say or how they now treat you. Just always keep your children first. Try to explain to at least the 3 y/o as best as you can. He's probably not going to understand much but always be open with them. Never try to hide anything from them. You want to alway have the respect of your children so you dont want them to find out down the line that you've lied about anything. Dont rush Jess into their lives. Let them get use to the fact that "daddy" isn't going o be around first. Then you should bring Jess into the picture slowly. Just make sure they're adjusting well before throwing too much at them at once. ya know? If it's too late for that, then again, be open and honest with them. What worked best with my cousin (she's 5 and practically lives with my wife and I) was to let her know that all families are different. We told her some kids have two mommies, some have a mommy and daddy, some just a mommy or just a daddy, some live with grandparents or aunts and uncles. You get the point. So at the age of 3 she recognized that there are different types of families (she even decided she wanted to be in one with two mommies when she grew up :) )

Jess needs to spend time with your kids as much as possible, but only if you are 100% positive Jess is going to be in your life for a long time. If she's just a fling or if youre not 100% sure she's a possible life partner you shouldnt get them use to her just for her to be stripped from their lives one day. Make sense? Children need stability. It's essential in their lives.

That's just a brief guideline for ya. Take it or leave it. The most important thing I can stress though is to keep your angels first. Always!!

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