This bugs me!

Elizabeth - posted on 03/07/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have a son that is about to be 3 years old. His biological father hasn't seen him in a year. I'm more than okay with that. His Father is one of the biggest losers I know. He has another child, which he hardly ever sees, but does pay child support on. He smokes pot constantly, and when we were together I saw him trade/buy drugs from his father (I do not condone this). He hit me(multiple police reports), been arrested while we were together because of his out of control behavior, menatally and emotionally abusive. I was under the care of my famiily physician and psycologist because of his torment. I got up the nerve to leave him Nov 2010. He did most of his abusive behavior in front of our son.

I am now married to a man who is the world to me and my son. My son has a positive male role model in his life, and can now see how a man should treat a woman. There is nothing but strong love in our home. My son knows no different that my husband is his dad. My husband would love to adopt him.

I have not persued any child support from my son's father because we don't need it. Frankly, we don't want his dirty money. He, as a man hasn't persued the legal system in any way. He hasn't set up any child support or paid for my child's health insurance. The only thing he has done is be a complete loser. His new girlfriend is messaging me on Facebook saying how my child needs a father, and his father wants to see him.

THIS BUGS ME: Why is it her contacting me? Why does she think that he should be able to see a child he pays/contributes nothing to? Why would I let my child go around drugs? She only knows his side of the story. I doubt he told her about his run ins with the law and beating me up or spiting in my face in front of his child.

Does a child need both parents? Sure. Does a child need both of those parents to be biological? Not here. My son is striving in a loving home. I get sick of hearing this statement, "A child needs to know his biological father/mother." Will my child know that my husband is not his real father? Yes. When I tell son what a dead beat his real father is, I hope to God he has more respect and love for my husband. If my child wants to meet his father when he is older, it is his choice.

As a mother; none the less, a woman I want to know why in the hell I want my child involved in his biological father's life when he was such a dispicable person to me.

"What happened between you and the father has nothing to do with the child". REALLY??? How can you be a good dad when you abused me as a woman???


Michelle - posted on 03/07/2012




.Unfortunately all of the statements you have made are how the court sees it, if he truly wanted to see your child he could take you to court and he would get visitation supervised more then likely but visitation. I do however totally agree with you that some men bio dad or not are not cut out to be a dad. The fact that it is his girlfriend emailing you I would just ignore it as if he truly wanted to see him he would get in touch with you. Sounds like one of those gf that wants to play mommy. My sons dad picks him up like clockwork every other weekend has his alotted time in the summer and holidays but that does not make him a good dad. My son is 11 and for the last probably 3 years we have been told over and over again I have Kent now (Step dad) why do I need to go there they never actually spend time with me I would rather be at home. Now my SO does not get to spend a lot of time with my son because his weekends at work and my sons weekends at his dads are the same but we always plan fun stuff through out the year for us all to do together which is why my son feels loved here.

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