Stepson lost Mom to suicide. Should I be worried about his new relationship with girlfriend being too serious?

User - posted on 02/17/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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my 15 year old stepson lost his Mom last year to suicide. She had drug problems, after finding out that she had inoperable cancer, she ended her life. She left behind my stepson and a three year old girl. My stepson, Ben, is in a relationship, the first since losing his Mom. I am afraid he may get too serious. What can I do to help him?

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Quintin - posted on 10/21/2012

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Hard to know, but I believe that if you are wondering about it this much your instinct is telling you something. It's a little unclear what "too serious" means, but I would be sure to talk to him about relationship boundaries--especially at 15.



As for how to help... that really will depend on your stepson and on you. I firmly believe that talking to a therapist would be beneficial (being as I am one); however, that may not be necessary. From my own experience, and from studies about suicide survivors, the most helpful thing after the loss of a loved one to suicide is to speak with other survivors of suicide. Also you are in a great position to help him find ways to remember his mom. Perhaps there is some sort of scrapbooking or journalling/photo collection that y'all can create.



The most important things I think is to help him feel comfortable expressing his feelings about the loss. It's easy for guys--especially teenage boys--to say they don't have feelings. We're socialized that way. It's bull. Maybe it has to be while shooting hoops or playing video games, but something can help.

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