Who did you loose?

Melissa - posted on 04/11/2009 ( 25 moms have responded )

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I lost my mom a few weeks before my 7th birthday. Just wonder who everyone has lost? take care xxx

25 Comments

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Angela - posted on 10/23/2012

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My husband - father of my 3 children - 4 days before our youngest turned 1. It was 6 years ago on October 15th.

Roseanne - posted on 05/07/2012

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lost my husband of 4 years, but we were together 7. he hung himself 12/17/11.

Lorena - posted on 01/14/2012

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I lost my husband of 14 years, Sep. 29th 2011. We have 3 beautiful boys, the hardest thing I ever have to do was telling my them their Daddy had die and then answering their questions as honestly as I could.......

Jules - posted on 04/20/2010

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Hi, beautiful people. This is the hardest thing you will have to deal with in your life, My brother took his life and someone elses 15 years ago. I hate him for taking someone elses life and am sad about his. I found that talking about it helps, my mum wanted to keep it a secret. I have written many letters to him over the years and said what i have to to him you don't have to forgive them or blame yourself you can tell them how you really feel and i know this sounds silly but it does help.. I will never forgive him for taking someone elses life, but will oneday forgive him for taking his...This does get better even though it has been 15 years when the anniversary comes around it comes up for me again.. But it gets a little easier every year if you deal with thoughs feelings..... Love to all

Melissa - posted on 12/26/2009

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I Hope everyone is doing well and have had a great christmas, Christmas is always tough i dont know weather to be angry or sad somtimes. I dont think i know how i feel actually, i wish i could just bring my mum back for just one day to show her her grandsons, Im missing her heaps at the moment......Love you mum xoxo

Mieke I hope you are doing well! so sorry to hear about everyones losses.

Elizabeth - posted on 10/19/2009

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I lost my son Corey on Oct 1 2008, he had bi polar and was not getting any better on the meds his last visit to the dr they said he was schizophrenia.. I guess it is called schizomania??

Leigh - posted on 10/14/2009

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Hi Melissa

I lost my son on October 22, 2007. He was 27 years old and the youngest of 4 children. He is so very much missed. This suicide has left a big hole in our lives. We miss you Bruce!

Mandi - posted on 07/12/2009

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Hi everyone , i recently lost my oldest son Corey who was 18 yrs young when he decided to take his own life ( 03/03/2009). There wasn't really any warning signs for us. I was 35 weeks pregnant at the time. I was the 1 who found him.We as a family struggle with this everyday ......He will never be replaced & we will never stop loving him.

Chloe - posted on 06/12/2009

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I lost my cousin just weeks before his 18th. Its been 2 years now and it still upsets me

Melissa - posted on 06/03/2009

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Hi Melissa, I am so glad I found this community. I lost my mother to suicide when I was 17. It is still something I find myself dealing with even 12 years later. On a tuesday afternoon, I came from from school to find my younger brother (only 13 at the time) upset b/c he couldn't get ahold of my mom. On friday, as I was getting my lunch in the cafeteria, the assistant principal escorted me to the office where my dad told me he just identified my mother's body. She had taken some pills in her car in a fast food chain parking lot. They think her body was there for at least 12 hours b/f someone noticed. An employee remembers seeing her slumped over in the car the night b/f, but he figured she was just passed out. he didn't call the police till friday morming.It completely tore my family apart I have little to no contact with her family, b/c they believe that I should have known what was coming. My mom was my best friend and I miss her all the time. I noticed that it is even harder now that I have 2 daughters of my own. It is nice to know that I am not alone. It is hard for people who have never experienced suicide. The irony is that her father has attempted suicide at least 4 times and is still alive today....

Jessica - posted on 04/14/2009

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my nephews only turned 2 in january at the moment his understanding is "dads in the sky" where as my soon to be 4 yr old has an imaginary friend who has the same name as my brother, i will tell my nephews mum about the book :-) see if one of us can track it down.thanks

Heather - posted on 04/14/2009

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Quoting Jessica:

i often wonder how my nephew will be when he is old enough to understand :(



Hi Jessica.  I am truly sorry to hear of your loss.  I know how you feel as I lost my younger brother in 2007 too.  Here is a a book that I found to be helpful in explaining my brother's suicide to my son (who was 5 at the time).  I hope this helps your nephew:



After a Suicide
A Workbook for Grieving Kids
The Dougy Center
$12.95
53406

Aramanth - posted on 04/14/2009

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I lost my younger sister. She was 39 years old and a mother of 5 children when she decided to take her own life nearly 5 years ago. I'm still mostly in the Angry phase about it all.



I've also been in therapy for the past 4 years because it triggered a massive Depressive Episode that I have not been able to get beyond on my own. I've always been a bit prone to depression and anxiety issues anyway but this really set me off. I take meds which help. I have been 'passively suicidal' on and off for so long - I won't do anything active about it but if a bus was speeding towards me, then it might take some mental effort for me to decide to step out of the way. Most of the time I'm ok and have decided that I cannot put my husband and children through this same despair but some days are really hard.

Jessica - posted on 04/13/2009

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i often wonder how my nephew will be when he is old enough to understand :(

Melissa - posted on 04/13/2009

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Hi Jessica, im so sorry for you loss, but i am glad you remember him the way he was alive not the way he passed. I wish i could do that with my mum but im so confused about the whole thing. I do how ever have good memmories that i cling on to. Unfortantly i have alot of bad ones as well which has made the whole thing harder for me to get over, I dont think i am over it now i think i have just learnt not to think about it. I did see my mums body i screamed untill i was taken to see her which was very bitter sweet it made me realise that she had passed and everything that happened was "real" it helped me get over the fact that she was gone, however i dont think i can ever get the image out of my head. Im really glad that you have coped so well and im amazed that you have come through so positive i really think you can contrubute to this group by sharing your view on how to remember our loved ones. Thanks heaps for sharing your story.



 



Take care xxx



 

Jessica - posted on 04/13/2009

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I lost my younger brother, he was 2 weeks shy of 18 when he took his life. he had suffered from bipolar for 4 years but wasnt medicated, sadly he left behind a 5 month old son. He was found dead in his home by his 3 friends who got strange texts messages from him & they had gone to his home to see what was the go with the messages, he was found dead on my mums birthday.

august 13 2007 is a day for me that a part of my world died, my oldest son was almost 2.5 yrs old and he was close to my brother and since then i have seen a dramatic change in my son.



since then my mums tried to take her own life more then once (shes had depression for 15 yrs) and i have seen people become nervous if someone doesnt show up to family events.



Whilst I have made peace with the fact my brother took his own life,I choose to remember him as how he was in life not how he died,his death doesnt define him. he was a father,brother,son,friend,cousin,baker,musican. i chose not to view his body.



His son is 2 now and grows to be more and more like him everyday,his mum misses my brother everyday.

Heather - posted on 04/13/2009

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I am really proud about how he coped (is coping) with losing my brother. I read everything I could get my hands on about explaining death by suicide to children and all the books said to be honest about it. I just worry about him talking to other kids at school. I don't know if all mom's would apopreciate his honesty!

Melissa - posted on 04/12/2009

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Hi Heather, Im sorry to hear about your brother and i hope things are getting easier for you and your family. Your right a 5 year old shouldnt know about or have to experience what suicide is i hope he has been coping ok with everything.



Take care xxx

Heather - posted on 04/12/2009

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I lost my brother (and only sibling) to suicide almost 2 years ago. Surviving his death has been the most excruciating experience I have ever gone through. I miss him every second of every day. My older son (then 5) was very close to my brother. A 5-year-old shouldn't have to know what suicide is nor what it is like to be a survivor. Thank you for starting this group. I hope it catches on -- we are a unique and underepresented group in the grieving community. Take care.

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