my 8 year old is out of control, what can i do?

Stephanie - posted on 02/23/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )




He does not listen, he acts like he is playing and then becomes very rough with his brothers, he says he just playing but anyone could see that hes not he says hes a tough guy or a cool guy when itry to explain to him that he could hurt someone he says im not fair he exagerates just about everything ive tried everything that i can think of im just at a loss now i have no idea how to get him on the right track?


Marie - posted on 11/18/2013




I need HELP, any good suggestions would be most appreciated! I have my stepson, he is 8 and does not remember his mom b/c she gave him up before he was 2. My husband has had him ever since, until I came into the picture he bounced around with some live in girlfriends and different babysitters but I am the only "mother" he has ever had. He calls me mom and we have been together for 3 yrs now. I came into the relationship with 2 girl of my own the time 9 and 10. Yes they have attitudes sometimes and can always be dramatic, but they respect me and they are good girls all in all. Now my son used to be this ADHD excited but loving kid...not lately. Actually for the past yr or a little more he has been getting worse. Fractured my finger over the summer when I went to turn him over to spank his butt for hitting me, he started kicking me and one kick caught my finger. He got suspended at the end of 2nd grade, and now in third he is already suspended AGAIN for fighting and cussing and telling his teacher to shut up after he threw a chair across the classroom and dented a cabinet! He steals random stuff around the house and from people's houses, just last week he stole a nudity magazine from a man's bathrm that my house was working at b/c he had never seen stuff like that before, but he had to go through this man's bthrm cabinets to find it. I am at a lose. We have spanked, grounded, therapy, medicine... He takes 3 types of meds, he has nothing in his rm except a dresser and 2 mattresses on the floor, and he writes sentences and sits in the corner, or works outside all the time. He hasn't watched tv in months, he sneaks a glance when dad is playing a video game but we stop it when he is caught, he has no sweets or sodas unless he gets up and steals food at night....we dont have treats anymore so he will steal a jar of peanut butter to keep in the rm. And to top it all off he pees on himself DURING THE DAY while he is awake and doesn't care. ANY IDEAS b/c I have none I just want to lock him up sometimes and that makes me feel guilty for feeling that way, but on the other hand I have a 22 mth old baby girl that, as horrible as it may sound I cringe anytime he is close to her! I never want them alone together and I hate that she is soaking in his behavior like a sponge!

[deleted account]

I am going through the same thing. The only difference it's my boyfriend’s son. His mother really has no contact with her son/ daughter, and he really acts out with the other kids in the house, the animals, and with me. I know that you have to be consistent w/ the punishments and enforcing the rules.

I give him consequences for his actions. I remind him that by making a bad choice there is a consequence. You'll have to explain the making choice part. I used this on him; you knew hitting the girls was going to hurt right? He said yes, I said we'll that's a choice by still doing what you did knowing that it would hurt the girls. So I said you know by hitting them you’re going to get a punishment for making a bad choice. So his punishments change (they'll know what to expect when they do something wrong, so change the punishments) raking the rocks, cleaning the trash cans (including the big one's), pushups, running around the block with them blows off steam for them and you get a work out, anything you know they dislike. Remember to enforce the consequences, it will take time for them to learn you’re not going to let up and a punishment will come for making a bad choice.

I also cut out (for the whole week Mon - Fri and I put parental controls on my channels too) the TV, video games, computer time, and anything that has violence in it...’cause it give the kids ideas and they are like sponges right now, well I took it out and he's improved. He wasn’t trying to do what the people were doing on TV, video games, online, or movies anymore once I took this out during the week. The other kids will hate you for it, but you will see improvements.

I also recommend talking to your child’s teacher, see if there is something going on. Ask to come in for a day just to supervise. I did this and it was like he knew I was making sure he wasn’t doing anything bad, but that you’re paying attention to his every movement. You just have to make sure your child understands his teacher still has control while you’re visiting in school. They’ll think they can do something and you will stop the teacher from enforcing the rules. He tried this, and soon realized I wasn’t going to stop his teacher…

I hope this helps…


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User - posted on 01/19/2012




i am having the same problem i he is way out of control. i have talking everything from him hes been grounded and its like nothing fazes him.

Sarah - posted on 10/28/2011




well ground him take everything away from him for example first time asked " get off of him/her or you are in trouble" for more tha one time asked
" i have told you more than once to not do that now go up to you room" and don't let him play video games or watch t.v. something major to discipline him!

hope this helped
go moms!:)

Cindy - posted on 02/25/2010




you have to show him who is the boss of the house, he is so big and he undersatand fine.
If he is not good use time out, take his favorites toys and put away for a couple of days, etc.....
My daughter start to say bad words or not nice like butt, fart that she is learning with her friends at school, she is 5 and I was tired about it and I told her that she is not listening to me when I say "no more!" so I will use hot sauce, everytime that she use a bad word I will put it in her mouth, ask me if she is using bad word anymore? and if dhe does, I will use the hot sauce...

Cheryl - posted on 02/23/2010




try to figure out if there is some anger built up somewhere and he is trying to release it in a negative way or maybe at school he was picked on by some bully, or there is the famous answer, he wants attention and negative attention is still attention, you may need to search the www on this one I have girls and I hear boys play rough I only had 1 brother so no way to tell if its a brother thing, most likly it is....hang in there, this too shall pass but probably not anytime soon may if its a brotherly power thing

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