Do you pick up your baby a lot?

Frances - posted on 08/14/2010 ( 28 moms have responded )

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I have been adviced by friends not to pick up your baby all the time. My girl is not very demanding, she doesn't cry much and is able to play by herself for ages, until my in-laws come. They pick her up all the time, every time she makes a little noise they will pick her up, I am worried that they will spoil her. Am I worried too much or not? How much do you pick up your babies?

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Renee Anderson - posted on 08/17/2010

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my great grandma told my grandmother who told my mother who tells me: there is no such thing as a spoiled baby,they are just loved!! hold the baby as much as possible, it helps bonding and helps them feel safe and secure. there is going to come a time in their life, you wish you could just hold them and cuddle with them, but they will be to old and not want you to. so hold em while you can enjoy this time!!! i hold my son all the time :) they will let you know when they have had enough of you holding them!!! :)

Melissa - posted on 09/05/2010

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ok so I ended up having to do the cry it out thing...it works ..but I still believe in spoiling my little one with all the attention I can give him!

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Heidi - posted on 10/24/2012

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I don't believe you can spoil a baby with love. For the first three months of life, my baby was picked up everytime she cried. She's almost two now and doesn't need it quite so much, but I get alot of comments on how happy and well adjusted she is. I feel that picking her up when she cried helped to make her feel safe and secure.

Denisia - posted on 10/07/2010

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i hold my lil girl alot. but now that she crawls n plays with her toys i dont as much. she falls asleep on me all the time

Jessica - posted on 09/18/2010

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We don't pick our youngest up at every little peep, but it doesn't spoil them if you do... you can't spoil your child with love and affection and attention!

I do, however, know how you feel, as my in-laws are the same way. And when I don't jump at every little cry, they will ask why I'm not. I just tell them that he doesn't need anything. My MIL thinks that just because she has 3 daughters (6, 10 and 12) that she knows everything about parenting, when that couldn't be further from the truth!

I wouldn't worry too much, but if it bothers you, you have to let them know! I know it sucks, especially being that they are your in-laws and not your own parents, but she is your child and not theirs!

Good luck!

Erin - posted on 09/05/2010

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I pick up my daughter all the time. She spends the weekdays with my dad who watches her and he does it too. My husband and mom keep saying we are spoiling her but I want to pick her up all the time. I would rather give her the attention then her cry. Most of the time she just wants someone to pay attention to her because she doesn't want to play alone or she is bored with the toy she is playing with and needs something new to play with. We aren't planning on having more kids so she will be an only child and I'm ok with spoiling her but I also want to make sure she isn't too spoiled to the point she won't do anything on her own but right now she is only 5 months so I'm gonna get her everything she needs when she wants it. Not saying I drop what I am doing everytime she makes a noise though cause there are times she just has to wait because I am busy but if I know there is nothing wrong with her then waiting is ok.

Jennifer - posted on 08/31/2010

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Babies are pretty smart I bet she'll be able to deliniate between you and your in-laws, it's supposedly good for babies to get the idea that different people behave differently with them, it broadens their horizons, I wouldn't worry.

Brittany - posted on 08/31/2010

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Emma is 5 months old and cries - not just cries, SCREAMS - if she is not being held most of the time. So I hold her often...

Melissa - posted on 08/28/2010

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man I cant type tonight .. I meant I DO believe in spoiling your baby!!!!

Melissa - posted on 08/28/2010

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Oh and my in-laws are opposite ...grandpa believs in not holding the baby and in the let your baby cry thing....not for me...

Melissa - posted on 08/28/2010

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Umm I do all the time!!! Attachment parenting is my thing!! I dont believe in spoiling!!!! Read the Sears method book...love it! It tells you all the reasons why attachment parenting is good for your baby!

Amber - posted on 08/26/2010

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I do not believe you can spoil a child with affection. By holding and picking up your child when he/she wants attention, you are showing them that they can rely on you when they need comfort or security. When you shower them with love and affection, they become more secure, and thus more independent as they become older. I carry my daughter everywhere, I cuddle and kiss her, and she is very independent and very happy. She is only 5 months old but she is content to play by herself for about half an hour and enjoys doing so.

Esther - posted on 08/25/2010

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When my mother-in-law visit she picked up my daughter every time she made a noise. But after she left it took about 2 days for all to go back the way it was. But every baby is different.

VERONICA - posted on 08/25/2010

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I pick up my baby boy all the time. I am a working mom and I think to myself that my child will never be like this again. He will grow up and when he moves away I will yearn for the moment I was able to hold and carry him. Kids grow up too fast and before we know it they are gone. I try to take advantage of the time I have with him as much as possible. I think a spoiled child is one that is given everything he wants. But whats wrong with giving your child all the necessary attention and play time he wants? They wont be by your side forever......unfortunately.

Angela - posted on 08/25/2010

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I think it just depends on the baby. My Isabel is very independent at 5 months and I do pick her up a lot. It's just her and I so she is ALWAYS with me. The funny part is people always say dont let the baby sleep with you because they wont want to sleep in their own bed. Isabel has mostly slept with me since she was born because I couldnt afford a bed of her own for her but now that she has one she sleeps there or still in the bed with me. I never have any problems with her sleeping either place. You just have to know your own baby. And you dont want to not pick them up enough to where they feel neglected or not loved so thats always something to keep in mind. Isabel doesnt need to be picked up all the time as long as she is being entertained in some fashion whether its by playing with her toys or holding a conversation with me!

Elizabeth - posted on 08/25/2010

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Pick up and hold your little one as much as you want! They are tiny for such a short time. My March baby is my 4th, and it's hard to hold him as much as I want, so I do when I can and pass him to anyone else who wants to love him!!! Enjoy!

Sharhea - posted on 08/24/2010

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I hold my daughter as much as I can! Especially with her being my 3rd and last baby. They grow so fast and are only small once... My oldest is 8 and I cannot believe that she was ever small once :( Hang in there and even if she does enjoy being held more often it only last so long.

Ana - posted on 08/21/2010

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Thanks for your advice Nadini.

One thing scares me...from
November I`ll have to go back to work, an I`ll give my baby Andrej at kindergarden (he`ll be 7 months old). I now that the women that works there will not have enough time to hold him because of the other babies there. I fill sorry when I think that he will cry :-( That`s why I want to find a way not to hold him too much and prepare him for the kindergarden.

Nandini - posted on 08/21/2010

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I hold my baby all the time too. I love to hold him anf he loves to be held. I've been told that babies you're held and cuddled a lot cry less as toddlers, moreover it gives them a great sense of security and feeling of being loved which also boosts their self confidence and self esteem.

To be totally honest with u.........as a mother I love the feeling when my baby gives a satisfied and contented sigh once he's held by me. I love that!!! Makes me feel I'm doing the right thing.

Yes I've also been bombarded by advises that not to get my baby into the habit of being carried around but I've followed my own instinct.

Love

Ana - posted on 08/20/2010

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My baby wants to be held all of the time. I can do my home jobs, I can`t even take care for my older girl (she is 3 years). I have pains in my back. If I put him down, he strarts crying very loud, like it`s end of the world. I find it very difficult to hold my baby.

Frances - posted on 08/18/2010

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Thank you all so much. I worried for nothing. I have to admit I enjoy holding her very much.

Melissa - posted on 08/18/2010

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I dont think that you can spoil a baby. Remember they are only this age once and your inlaws love her and want to enjoy her. We pick up Emma when we know she is hungry or wet or tired. We put her down when we know she has been fed and needs to settle herself to sleep. Sometimes you got to read the ques.

Danielle - posted on 08/18/2010

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After birth, while we were still in the hospital, I was told by the doctors it's impossible to "spoil" an infant. They need to know you are there for them no matter what. Their brain doesn't know what manipulation is yet or how to do it, so if they are crying or fussing they need something. Even if your baby isn't crying, there is nothing wrong with holding them! Soon enough they will be independent and wanting to do everything by themselves. Soak up the cuddle time while you can!

Cara - posted on 08/17/2010

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My little man is usually right by my side or in my arms. Don't worry about spoiling...babies are meant to be held! I've never heard an old person say at the end of their lives, "I wish I hadn't held my babies so much." Probably just the opposite. Hold her, squeeze her, cuddle her while you can!

Airi - posted on 08/17/2010

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i hold Brighton as much as possible. I kinda feel its better for her even if its harder on me. Ok. She is the boss and doesnt want me to put her down. haha. Ive spoiled her already but i enjoy her very much.

Kimberly - posted on 08/15/2010

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There are days where I have to hold my son all day. I can just plop him on my lap and he's content to watch me do whatever. It does however make things difficult when I need to do something with hands free...like pee for example. Sometimes he just has to fuss in his swing or crib for a little while so mommy can get some things done!

Amy - posted on 08/15/2010

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I hold my little one all the time, if she's anything like her brother once she becomes mobile she's never going to want to be held! So I try to hold her as much as possible but like Michelle there are times when she fusses that I just can't get to her because I'm doing something for her brother.

Michelle - posted on 08/15/2010

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I pick up my baby all of the time. But with 5 kids and daycare kids sometimes he will have to wait cause I may be in the middle of something and I can't always drop everything cause he starts crying. I let him know that mommy will be there soon, but I don't just run right to him right away every time he cries.
I think it's okay to hold your little one alot, but the important thing is to learn if the cry is requiring immediate attention or not. Sometimes just going over to your child and rubbing their belly and telling them it's okay is enough to calm them down.
I don't think that your in-laws are going to make her spoiled. They don't get to see her often and just excited to get to hold her.
She sounds like she isn't very demanding and she has a laid back personality. If any one ends ups spoiling the baby it is us mommy's, but at this time I don't think it can happen yet.

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