former dual military couple...

[deleted account] ( 8 moms have responded )

I was just wondering if there were any other moms/navy wifes out there that use to serve. I loved my job and thought I would be a lifer. Now it looks like my husband will be the lifer instead of me. It sucks to watch my hubby go to work everyday and do the job that I loved so much. Sometimes I worry that I'm trying to live out my military career through him. Anyone else feel the same?

8 Comments

View replies by

Grendaliz - posted on 01/20/2009

21

53

2

I can surely relate to you ladies...We both are in the Army. I was full time until my baby was born in Aug 2008, but since there is no day care available in this area and I don't have family here I decided to quit and do it once a month(reserve) until my conrtact is due in Sep 09. I love my job but my kids are first and I already had the experience of leaving my daughter 2 consecutives times en less that 2 years. I dont want this to happen to my baby boy. My daughter was really affected by my deployments and I don't want that to happened again. It is hard for me to see my husband go to work everyday, particularly when he has to go out of state. I miss my office and my job...but I also been blessed with a wonderfull team and given the opportunity to work from home. So I would be hanging the uniform soon, but all for my kids!!!!!!!!

Meghan - posted on 01/20/2009

1

26

0

I was active duty for 8 years and I got out for Hihg Year Tenure and I definitely wasn't a happy camper about it. I had every intention of being a lifer and making the Navy my career. I decided to join the Reserves and have been doing that for the past 2 years. I like it a lot, with the exception of being treated like a moron because I'm "just a reservist". I miss that Navy a lot sometimes, but at least with being in the Reserves, I can still retire and get the benefits that my girls need.

[deleted account]

I know exactly how you feel! I got out a few years ago to take care of my daughters. My husband is still in the Navy, though. Sometimes I feel like he should be home with the twins and I should have stayed in. When he comes home from work and tells me about some of the things that he deals with all I can think about is what I would do if it were me. He's up for reenlistment this year and if he decides to get out I'll head for the nearest recruiter!

Ashley - posted on 01/19/2009

22

12

2

I planned on staying in too, we also had our family care plan paperwork done and, like you, we would both be deployed for the next 2 years. I would have been deployed 4 weeks after i had Caleb, and come back in May of 2008, and my husband's unit replaced what was supposed to be the unit I was going to deploy with. I also was not ready to have someone else raise my baby from birth. My husband was only 20 and i was 21 when we had Caleb, and he was not ready to be a single father to a new born. In the end, i know we made the right choice for us.



Don't you just love the rumor mill, lol. ;-)

[deleted account]

i actually planned on staying in after having my son. I had all the family care plan paperwork done, but then they said we were both going to deploy (when my son was 4 months old). I didn't think I would have to leave him so soon (they recently changed it to 1year after birth before they can deploy a mother). I just wasn't ready to let my mom raise my son for me. That wasn't why I wanted to have kids...for someone else to raise. It has been 4 years since I got out and I still miss it so much.
It took me a long time to get involved in the spouse group too. But some times it can be fun. I got a good laugh out of a woman who swore up and down that the ship was pulling in 2 weeks early. Her hubby heard it from a "reliable source" on the ship. lol Gotta love the rumor mill!

Ashley - posted on 01/19/2009

22

12

2

Wow, to Cassandra, I feel like I just read about myself in your last post! Thats exactly how the last 2 years has been for me! I also met my husband in training, and we got married 7 months later, my husband and I decided when i was 8 months pregnant that it would be best for me to leave the service (I was Army as well), to be a stay at home mom. It's definitely hard for me to see my husband go to work everyday, doing the job I was so proud to do, and loved to do. Serving was something I truly loved and enjoyed, and I often think about going back in.



Its been a really hard transition to see myself as a civilian, I met alot of the people my husband currently works with in training as well, so I find it a little difficult to relate to their wives. It seems like they don't understand how and why things work in a unit. Its hard to bite my tongue when I hear them complaining about their husbands working late, or they don't understand why they can't just come home at 5pm everyday. And when they say "that's it! I'm going to the BRIGADE COMMANDER because my husband has had to work until 7pm every night this week!" I'm like, "WHAT???" You can't do that! Are you crazy? I don't think they (the wives in my husband's unit) understand that everyday, our husbands have a mission, and the mission is to complete any and all tasks given to them by their superiors. They can't go home until the mission is complete.



I know that all military spouses are not like that, its probably a select few, but its taken me about 2 years to even consider going to an FRG meeting. Adjusting to being a civilian, is definitely harder than it seems! But, I must admit, it was nice to be able to finish school while my hubby has been in Korea for the last 9 months, So its definitely nice to meet other moms in the same situation. :-)

Cassandra - posted on 01/19/2009

4

10

0

I'm former army, but I really don't think the branch matters.  I think it's hard for anyone who enjoyed their job to give it up and watch their spouse continue to do the same thing.  I met my husband while I was in training and I really enjoyed getting up and going to work together even though we were in different units.  It took a lot for me to decide to get out once I found out about the pregnancy, and being emotional anyway, I used to even cry when He'd leave while I had to stay home. However, It's been almost 2 years since my discharge, and eventually it does get easier.  One thing that helps me a lot is to go see him at work any chance I get.  His shop is really good about letting me go sit with him (unless they're working on something that requires a clearance) and they've even taken to asking me to prepare a meal for the whole shop.  I guess I get the best of both worlds that way.  I get to do something I enjoy the most about being a stay at home mom, and I also get a lot of interaction with those who i used to work with.  I feel like I'm actually serving again, I just get to do so in civillian clothes.. Hope that helps  Good luck

[deleted account]

Former Air Force- but yes, I completely understand how you feel.  It has taken me almost 2 years to come out of my shell, but I still miss my old job and life.  LOL it was so much easier being in I think.  This whole readjusting to being a civilian is harder than it looks.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms