Should we change child's last name to father's?

[deleted account] ( 1 mom has responded )

My husband had a 1-week long affair while home on leave when he was married to his 1st wife and ended up getting the girl pregnant (they all went to high school together). She was in CA, he was in CO. They never had a relationship after that. She ended up giving the baby HER last name. When baby was 3 days old, a paternity test was given and my husband paid child support from the first month on. (Hubby and I met while the girl was pregnant and we ended up getting married 3 weeks before baby was born... and trust me, I've paid the price for this mess!) Anyway, after 5 years of drug abuse and child neglect, my husband FINALLY got custody of my step-daughter after her friends and family came forward and testified against the mom. Now my step-daughter is living with us. I have a child from a prior marriage and I have a child with my husband. My children are 5 yrs apart. Now we have 3 children in our house, ALL with different last names... and all just a couple years apart. Not only do the different last names make me look like I get around, but it's been causing problems in having to PROVE that she's my husband's daughter... with military housing, benefits, etc. We're constantly having to go back and provide the paternity test and birth cert, etc. And the biggest annoyance is... I keep getting called Ms. XXX (the MOM's last name). Which normally wouldn't bother me too much... except hubby just told me a year ago that he cheated on ME with the woman too, 3 years ago while we were visiting my step-daughter in CA. So... I just want to know... would it be detrimental for my husband to change his daughter's last name to his last name (her father). Or should we just leave it? I know biological mom has to have involvement in the process... but willing to ask anyway. Thanks!


Tah - posted on 07/27/2011




Sorry to say I wasn't surprised when I read he was unfaithful to you, but I'm sorry it happened. Now, I have three children with 3 different fathers, the last being my from getting pregnant my first time ever having sex, a 4 year relationship..and my second with my ex fiancée, a 7 year relationship. so what you trying to say? older two have different names and we never have a problem..ever. Also, he had son when we met, until the DNA test said otherwise..and he had his moms name and it was never a issue...but if it's so much of a problem...go ahead...

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