Should we have our son circumcised?

Nicki - posted on 10/16/2009 ( 51 moms have responded )

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When my son was born, the pediatrician at the hospital discouraged us from circumsicion, even though we asked for it. We just thought it was a routine procedure that most people have done with boys, but we listened to the Dr and did not have it done at the time. He said we could get a better result if we waited until he was around 6 months old. Now he is 7 months old. Should we do it?

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Dixie - posted on 01/31/2011

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I have 2 boys and they are both circumcised. I highly recommend it.

Julia - posted on 01/24/2011

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How is sex difficult with a foreskin? That makes absolutely no sense. Also I take everything personally when it comes to hacking off pieces of someones elses body. Would you cut off a finger just because you think there is the possibility that your child MAY get made fun of in school? Ridiculous. Its a completely unnecessary procedure, I will not be going and cutting off my daughters cliterous because its cleaner. There is a reason its called mutilation.

Alexandra - posted on 11/02/2010

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oh boy me my husband had long conv. about that subject. My sons are not circumsiced !!!! I think circumsicion might be better cleaner...whatever.. but the point is, I will not give my baby to some doctor and let them cut around my babies penis! That hurts. My son does not need that, he is totally healthy. So there is no need for it. If he would have some type of infec. or so, then I would do it. When my son is old enough and he wants to be circum. then he can still do it. I won't force a little baby or be selfish and do it because its what me or other people want.

Sam - posted on 08/12/2013

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I'm a young dad with twin boys and me and my girlfriend decided to have them circumcised. We both prefer circumcised and I want the best for my sons. In the UK where its less common we had it done privately. It cost a shedload of money but Im glad I had them done. they will grow up with cocks to be proud of like their dad!

[deleted account]

Okay. Some of you all are taking this WAY too seriously. For some uncircumcized men, the tip of the penis can be so sensitive that sex can hurt. For others, that's not the case. Every man is different. So just because your uncircumcized partner (husband, boyfriend, whatever) is one way or the other, it doesn't mean that *every* uncircumcized man feels the same way.



And I'm sorry, but there is a huge difference between surgically removing the foreskin of a penis and cutting off your child's finger. Additionally, putting circumcision and cutting off a clitoris in the same category does a HUGE disservice to those who actually have been affected by genital mutilation.



Is circumcision medically "necessary"? Depends who you ask, but probably not. Does that mean there are no benefits from it either? No.



This is a "six one way, half a dozen the other" kind of discussion. Are there healthy circumcized men? Yes. Are there unhealthy circumcized men? Yes. Are there healthy uncircumcized men? Yes. Are there unhealthy uncircumcized men? Yes.



We all just need to relax, weigh the pros and cons for ourselves, and make the best decisions that we can. That's our job as parents and we're all doing the best we can.

51 Comments

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Sam - posted on 08/12/2013

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I'm a young dad with twin boys and me and my girlfriend decided to have them circumcised. We both prefer circumcised and I want the best for my sons. In the UK where its less common we had it done privately. It cost a shedload of money but Im glad I had them done. They will grow up with cocks to be proud of like their dad!

Robin-Frans - posted on 05/29/2013

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Everytime circumcision was mentioned, or even just religious law, my mother remarked that circumcision was very hygienic and prevented cervical cancer. Yet, she didn't have me circumcised. I think infant circumcision would have saved me a lot of trouble, as it is quite difficult to have it done in adult life. A circumcised penis looks a lot better, and is preferred by women, so you should do it.

Diane - posted on 03/20/2013

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I recomed you get him done as later in life when he gets older its hard to explane to doctor as you feel emased and he will feel orkwad to to desus having it done to you and it helps a lot with issues as I had to have it done to me in my 30s sometimes I felt burning feelings under my forskin

Tah - posted on 01/30/2011

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my boys are circumcised, My nephew wasn't and he had it dont when he was older, around 16 i beleive. I dont remember what the reasons were, but had to be pretty pressing that he would go through that. i know people are against it, but it's your child and your choice, there is always gonna be something people tell you what you should do or shouldn't do. the dr should have provided you with information and left it at that in the healthcare field we are not supposed to discourage you from things like that,maybe he's not, so isn't that biased, just as if a dr who is and loves it tells you do it, do it....research it and its up to you.

Heather - posted on 01/30/2011

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Oh and another few things I left out... my husband is uncircumcised and he is bothered by it so much that he's getting one soon, he is 23yrs old. Despite what I say he wants it done anyway. So far every guy I dated who didn't have it done wished they did. If it wasn't safe, they wouldn't perform the procedure in hospitals everywhere. They also wouldn't perform surgeries that are classified as traumatic or maiming. It's actually pretty common now but it's all up to what you think is best. It's YOUR baby. :)

Amy - posted on 01/24/2011

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I would say do it. I know of a couple men who are not and they hate it. The penis is more sensetive and sometimes it can be painful to have sex also boys in a locker room can be cruel. It also is cleaner. It's a pretty big decission. I would do it soon while he is still young if your going to do it though.

Jackie - posted on 01/24/2011

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when I had my son circumcised, my doctor told me how many boys he had done and asked about the shape I wanted my boy to have. He said that some doctors are very inexperienced because so many people do not have it done these days. Make sure you ask the questionos to verify your doctor's experience, you can look online to see pictures of bad circumcisms (not to scare you but to give you some knowledge, I found it amazing how little I knew about the procedure until I looked into it). Treat it as any other cosmetic surgery, you want the best doctor who has the most experience with the least mistakes..

[deleted account]

@ heather mullen LOL who said you can't have kids with an uncircumsized penis? Wow. People are so misinformed!!!!! There is absolutely nothing wrong with leaving the foreskin there! It is not dirty and it will not do any harm! My husband and my children are not circumsized. My husband says that it actually makes the penis more sensitive. It does not make sex painful, (someone said that) and my husband has never had any uti's or any other problems. He has also never been made fun of in the locker room at the gym. Men don't really care. Leave your son' penis the way God made it!

Courtney - posted on 01/17/2011

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Nour made a very good point about how his sex life when he gets older can be difficult. My husband is not circumcised (I don't personally care, but I know many woman that are a bit grossed out by it) and when we were first together it was a bit of a challenge for me because I had never been with someone with their foreskin still attached. Let's just say I hurt him quite a bit in the beginning. And even now, two years later, I still sometimes hurt him on accident. He also says that if we have a son he wants him circumcised because he personally does not like having his foreskin still. It does make it more difficult to clean. and, as sad as it is, boys and girls do tease each other about those kinds of things. I would personally get the boy circumcised. I will bet if you don't he will probably ask you why you didn't when he gets older.

Heather - posted on 12/06/2010

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It's cosmetic but has more benefits than not getting it done. Honestly the doctors should have kept their mouth shut because they aren't legally allowed to give input to procedures like that. It's better when they are first born because it's not supposed to hurt as bad. My son had his done when he was two days old and now at five months he is fine.

Jacqueline - posted on 11/06/2010

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It seems odd that the Dr told you to wait. It is going to be worse on an older infant than a younger one. I had both of my boys circumcised, and plan on having my baby boy due any day now as well. I am a nurse and I am well aware of the benefits vs. risks. It is a cosmetic procedure for the most part, and hygiene-wise, there is little difference. Just make sure that they give your child the appropriate analgesic for the procedure, and they should feel very little pain besides the initial prick from the pain medication.

[deleted account]

We circumcized our son. Partially, yes, so he would look like Daddy. Partially for religious reasons. Partially because I believe that, in the long run, it will be healthier for both him and his someday-wife.

If you're weighing the pros and cons of this decision, you need to really do your research. The number of inaccuracies that are out there is crazy. As far as an uncircumsized penis providing better "clitoral stimulation," that's ridiculous. The tip of the penis--where the foreskin is located, obviously--is nowhere near the clitoris during intercourse. And both sides can produce "facts" that "prove" that foreskin is--or isn't, depending on your perspective--more susceptible to infection.

My opinion regarding teaching little boys to keep their foreskins clean is that it would be tougher than it sounds. Little boys don't even bother to clean the obvious dirt; why would the take the time to clean something of dirt they can't even see?

Yes, doctors absolutely use anesthesia during the procedure. Now, if you're going to a Jewish briss, I don't know if they use anesthesia. That's also the circumstance under which the circumcision is done on the 8th day. Most hospitals do them in the days immediately following birth.

When I was researching, I found the following article from Men's Health. It has some interesting conclusions about the possibly link between foreskin and HIV transmitted through heterosexual intercourse. (Word to the wise, the description of a non-anesthetized circumsision in 1979 is AWFUL--made me want to go get my son out of his crib and hug him so tight!) http://www.menshealth.com/health/debate-...

Good luck with your decision! What ever you decide will be the right decision for you and your son.

C. - posted on 11/04/2010

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@Julia.. No offense at all, but I think you are taking this a little bit too personally.



I understand why people think it's unnecessary, but some people still think it is necessary- Myself included.



My thing is, there is a risk of infection if a boy is not circ'd. Yes, while the boy is still a baby, that is up to the parents. BUT, when the boy is too old to have their mommy check to make sure they keep it clean.. What then? I think an infection would hurt much more than getting the foreskin removed as an infant.

B - posted on 11/04/2010

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Circumsition on the 8th day is common. Very few MDs suggest the 6th month. If you wait any longe, he will feel the pain more intensly. Get it done soon, Nicki. "B"

Christina - posted on 11/04/2010

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I would, but I would find a new doctor. A doctor should not be discouraging your wishes. My son was circumsized just a few days after he was born and we have had no problems. Good luck and hope you get through this. Do what you think is best for your child:)

Brandi - posted on 11/04/2010

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Although they say that is isn't more hygenic either way I worked in a nursing home, and my uncle wasn't. And after he turned 60 something he decided to have it done because he also was having issues. In the nursing home I saw men who were only there for rehab with some nasty UTIs and there wives said they got them more too. When I found out I was having a boy my husband and I talked about it so many times and couldnt decide we finally decided when I was in labor to do it. I feel it is his body if he wants it done he can do it when he is older, but my husband wanted to do it cause the doctors and nursing staff ALL advised it at birth. I too am shocked that you were encouraged to wait. It is very painful and easier for them when they are newborn that later. So if you are going to do it I would go ahead and do it while he is younger where he may forget about the pain. Good luck

Julia - posted on 11/04/2010

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Christina,
I think what she meant was it isn't her decision what to do with someone elses body. Parent or not would you want your mom to not only tell you that she wants you to have breast implants but that you have to get it done because you have no say in the matter. YES I am comparing breast implants (a cosmetic surgery) with a circumcision (a cosmetic surgery).

Not my body not my choice thankfully my husband saw it my way as well and my son is very healthy and intact!

C. - posted on 11/04/2010

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Quoting Alexandra:



"I won't force a little baby or be selfish and do it because its what me or other people want."



Trust me, you might change your tone if you were in that situation. My husband wasn't there for most of the pregnancy (4-1/2 weeks at the MOST due to Basic and AIT) or the birth (had to report to first duty station) and that was one decision I left to him since he couldn't be there for other decisions. He wanted our son circ'd, so I let the doctor do it.

C. - posted on 11/04/2010

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I've never heard that you get better results by waiting until they're 6 months old!!! My son's first Ped actually told me NOT to wait that long. It was done the day after he was born.



Honestly, I think you should get a different doctor. If you want your child circumcised, no one, and I mean NO ONE, should tell you otherwise. It's the PARENTS' decision on if and when. If you want it, go for it.

Kimberley - posted on 10/04/2010

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Since new research has found that uncircumcised penis, if cared for correctly, will experience LESS risk for infection. That is contradictory to what was once thought. The complications with intact penis in the past is actually thought to be from the foreskin being forcefully retracted. Older doctors use to tell parents to forcefully retract the foreskin by one year. This is bad medical advice. It will create adhesions and scar tissue that will increase the risk for infection. Instead the foreskin should be left alone until the male can retract it, somewhere in between 5 years and his first sexual experience. The shaft of the penis's anatomy is identical to the women's vagina. It is self cleaning and is no nastier then the vagina. UTI from sexual contact comes from not voiding immediately after intercourse. The CDC and AAP no longer recommends having routine circumcisions for medical reasons. The will accept doctors to preform them for cosmetic purposes. Many malpractice insurance will no longer cover them. Meaning that fewer doctors will be willing to do them. In the US in 2009, 60% of males were not circumcised. Meaning a circumcised male will be the minority in the locker room.

The foreskin does serve a purpose. It has many pleasure receptors for the man and provides clitoral stimulation to the women during intercourse. Recovery is the same for a child or a adult. My husband was done as an adult and was fine with in 3 days. From a personal view point my husband and I or neither for or against cosmetic circs but we are for owner's choice. The owner is the child and not our choice to make just like we wouldn't do rhinoplasty on our newborn so he can look like his father. In the future if he wants it done, sure he will have it done, but why rush into it. Regardless the son's penis will not look like the father's at 3 years old. If the research showed otherwise I wouldn't have done it birth, but no evidence is there.

Jennifer - posted on 10/29/2009

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I think you should do it. I did it with my son and it helps prevent infections. I've never heard of a doctor discouraging it before.

Kylie - posted on 10/29/2009

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My husband and I did alot of research on the topic when we found out we were having a boy. My husand is not circumsized and I don't think it's a big deal. We decided to not get it done and I'm very thankful!! You just need to teach him to keep it clean, kind of like you need to teach them to brush their teeth. Most people get it done for religous reasons, to be like daddy or so they don't get ashamed at school. In the end it's your decision.

Audrey - posted on 10/28/2009

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I have 3 boys and they were all circumcised at birth. My second one was born in Italy and I had to fight to have him done. It seems like a natural thing to do - especially here in the states. Children are mean, and no one likes to be different!

Julia - posted on 10/28/2009

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Quoting Nour:

Hey Nicki,

religious reasons aside, i think you should get it done for his sake later on in life....sex for an uncircumcised man is painful a lot of the times (when its dry or so on)....if it stretches out to much he can even bleed...

I don't know how painful it would be now that he's 7 months or if they would use any kind of anesthetics...but you should talk about it with your doctor.

Good Luck!



Wow,  you are so wrong.  Uncircumsized men have 33% more feeling in their penis's than circumsized men.  Also there is a such thing as female circumcsion, it is considered mutilation.  Another thing is the American Pediatric Association does NOT recommend circumcsion anymore.  It is not medically necessary, there is no correlation between STD's and circumscion.  If your child is getting made fun of at school because he is different it is because that kids parents are ignorant and are teaching their children to be just as ignorant.  People are different.  Would you teach your kids to make fun of a black kid or a hispanic child?  How is this any different?  Making fun of someone is making fun someone PERIOD.  So maybe you should teach your children tolerance of everybody and the differences in people.  On a side note no male in my family is circumsized.  My father (63), brother (43), and 4 nephews (13, 11, 10, 9) have never had any problems (my mom never had any issues from the fact that my father isn't either) and have never been made fun of.  Wow imagine that a teen that wasn't made fun because he was different.  Another issue I have with circumcsion is if a child is under 6 months old they only provide a local anesthetic on the area (basically they put lidocaine on the head) but if they are over 6 months old they put them under general anesthesia.  HMMM so why would you put your baby in that kind of pain?

Sunshine - posted on 10/24/2009

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I would have done it at birth to get it over with cause now he will probably be in even more pain.. Poor Boy! I would have it done, ONLY b/c it would be easier for him cause when he gets older your goin to have to teach him out to clean it.. Its a lot different with the foreskin. I would say do it...

Rebecca - posted on 10/24/2009

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We decided not to get our son done when he was born. It is not required anymore and if you do want it done around here you have to ask for it in advance and pay up front. There is no data to back up benefits of getting it done. Our son is now 2 and we have never had a problem in that area. I know around here however, if you do get it done it is right after birth as the child can not touch it as they have no motor skills and less room for infection. I too am shocked to here the Dr said to wait. Maybe look in to it more with another Dr and see what they say.
Good luck:)

Alarna - posted on 10/21/2009

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my sons dad and his family are all circumcised so its on that basis that we choose to circumcise my son. at the beginning i did not want it done because of all the rumours and what i had read up on it. he had his done at 5 weeks, when we spoke to the doctor about it he advised the procedure not to b done on infants over 2 months of age as it would b too painfull as they do not use any medication to discourage the pain. after i had it done i felt horrible for putting him through so much pain but its worth it!

Nour - posted on 10/21/2009

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Hey Nicki,

religious reasons aside, i think you should get it done for his sake later on in life....sex for an uncircumcised man is painful a lot of the times (when its dry or so on)....if it stretches out to much he can even bleed...

I don't know how painful it would be now that he's 7 months or if they would use any kind of anesthetics...but you should talk about it with your doctor.

Good Luck!

Heather - posted on 10/21/2009

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Well this is a religious thing but in most cases people get their sons circumsided because if you don't any they get married then they will have to get circumsided anyways to have children. My son got it done right when he was born. it is painful but thats why they recommend it at birth.

Mallory - posted on 10/21/2009

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And that is the problem I have seen with uncircumcised kids, not when they are kids because they could care less but as your son gets older and sooner or later becomes sexually active that could have some sort of effect on him

Mallory - posted on 10/21/2009

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I know some men that are not and they hate that they are not... It can be somethinig that your son is embarrased about later. And plus there is hygene concerns. I am surprised the doctor said that, maybe he was pushing his beliefs on you. I think that you should really think about it. Most men do it because they want there sons to look like them, so ask your husband. All I know is I would def have my son circumcised not for religion reasons but for hygene reasons, for him for later in life wether it is personal or emotional... I dont know I would have done it when he born though.. that is a tough question. And it will be very painful now , as when he was little it would have hurt but it would not have been that bad.

Tina - posted on 10/21/2009

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We adopted our son who is not circumsized. After we brought him home we went to a urologist to talk about possibly circumsizing him. The urologist said it is not medically necessary like once thought. I specifically asked about the whole cleanliness thing and he said that as long as he is taught how to wash/bathe himself properly he will not have any issues. We thought long and hard about this and have decided not to circumsize him. The Dr. also said that it is very common nowadays for parents to not circumsize. Also, if you decide to do it then look into it sooner rather than later. They would have put our son to sleep for the procedure. Good luck. It is a decision that you and your hubby can only make. Don't worry about the appearance issue. Our son is 3 now and he could care less. I know things may change as he gets older but we will cross that bridge when we get there.

Kimberly - posted on 10/20/2009

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my husband and both of our sons have not been circumsized . It seems cruel and old fashioned . As long as you are willing to show them how to properly clean them selfs and strech thier forskin a little while you change thier diaper. my husband has completly embraced this responsibility and his a great dad he is also in the process of teaching our son to pee standing up lol things a mom just cant grasp

Erin - posted on 10/20/2009

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My husband and I had our son circumsized at birth without hesitation. As much as I'd like to think that no one would care later on if he was or wasn't, the fact is there are ALOT of superficial people out there. I have a friend who has said that she would not have sex with someone that was not circumsized. If I can do something to avoid the possible embarrassment later, I will. I have no problem with those who choose not to have their sons circumsized, but I always will. As for your sons age, my nephew's circumsision at birth was a little botched. My sister had it corrected when he was 2 and the recovery went great! No troubles at all! Good luck with your decision, whatever it may be!!

Deb - posted on 10/20/2009

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You should do it! It is healthier and cleaner for the boy! You really don't want to wait for him to decide... It would be more painful later on! Don't let these physicians make this decision for you! The only good reason not to would be religious! And physicians that don't recommend it are based on religion only! The benefits far outweigh any downsides! My physician wouldn't do it because of that so we had to make an outpatient appointment to get it done by someone else! It pisses me off when I see Physicians strongarm Moms and Dads this way!

Rebecca - posted on 10/19/2009

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You know I remember how my baby boy was shaking and crying after his.when they had brought him back to me I felt,I let them do something horrible to him.And they messed it up anyway.I went to the link posted above and did some reading and I don't think that I would do it again if I were to have another boy.

Jennifer - posted on 10/19/2009

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He will want it done if you dont get it done... why have him be different than most people specially in something so taboo

Rebecca - posted on 10/19/2009

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I would think if you got it done now,they would give him either something to sleep or the gas that relaxes you. But I thought they have a numbing cream that they now use.It may be true about the better result thing because my son was done right after birth and I think that maybe they cut too much foreskin. So he may have to have a sugery to make his penis come out. And he has had lots of difficulties with getting irritated from it.

Khristine - posted on 10/19/2009

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My son is now three month old. The doctor that circumcised my son was trying to talk us out of it telling us there is no medical reason for it. During my whole pregnancy me and my husband were hesitant about doing it.We did some research and talked about it with other parents. It is painful but it heals in about a week.

Danielle - posted on 10/19/2009

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wow I wouldn't think a doctor would even say that. They usaually will ask if you want it done or not and give you info on it if you had questions. But, I had my son done when he was first born within that 24 hour period and had no problems and it healed up just fine. To me I think it is easier to keep a boy clean and have less problems. But really it does come down to how you and your husband feel about it.

Erin - posted on 10/19/2009

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My husband and I had both of our boys circumsized at birth. My husband is and I thought both of our dads were too. I found out just recently that my dad isn't. My mom said that was why she had so many UTIs when my sister and I were growing up. Also, once a boy is old enough that the foreskin is truly separate from the head, he needs to know how to keep it clean. With my family in the midwest and my husband a Marine, we will most likely not be stationed anywhere near my dad when that age rolls around. That it will be healthier for our boys' future wives and no one to teach them how to care for a foreskin were the leading reasons in our choice. Weigh your options and talk with your husband. Really, you two are the only ones who can decide whether you want it done.

Nikki - posted on 10/19/2009

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its not necessarily any healthier being circumsized but its more of a superficial thing..guys definately notice in the locker rooms at school and alot of girls judge guys based on their appearance down there

[deleted account]

Before we knew we was having a beautiful girl my husband and i had a long conversation about circumcision. We both was against it. it usually done based on religious beliefs, concerns about hygiene, or cultural or social reasons. if you was going to get it done to the little one it would have been safer and less painful when he was born. take a look at this link hope it helps. http://www.circumcision.org/
"Circumcision violates a major principle of medical practice: First, do no harm. It also violates all seven principles of medical ethics. Some doctors and nurses refuse to perform or assist with circumcisions because of ethical considerations. They have organized to form Doctors Opposing Circumcision and Nurses for the Rights of the Child"

Amy - posted on 10/16/2009

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ohh wow im very shocked the doctor told u that my son is 7 months old and he was circumsied right after he was born it depends if u want him to be or not but i advise u too it will thank you mom but the bad thing is u shouldnt have waited it is worse on the child it is a painful thing...

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