Need advice for helping my son adjust to the new baby

[deleted account] ( 7 moms have responded )

My daughter is due in November. My kids will be 13 or 14 months apart, depending on when she decides to come. I've noticed when we hang out with other babies, my son gets jealous if I hold them. Should I be doing anything in specific to help prepare him for when she gets here?

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Angelique - posted on 09/10/2011

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Hi I have 3 kids 24 months apart then 22 months apart the best advice I can give is make the bigger ones feel realy important and big by getting them to help with fetching nappies and baby powder getting them to wash babys toes excetra its hepedl2 times around other than that get sleep when they sleep so you can cope better.

Jara - posted on 09/07/2010

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My girls are 1 year and 2 weeks apart. It will be difficult, but you will manage a lot better than you ever thought you could. When I was pregnant, I emphasized to my daughter she was gonna be a big sister. I explained how special a big sister is and how good of a helper she would be. I went and bought her a baby and showed her how to hold it and feel it and all that. I just made sure to include her in things. When the baby was born, it was kind of hard at first. My oldest was a little rougher than I liked, but I just kept explaining she had to be very easy with the baby. I involved her in everything I could. I would let her pick out clothes for the baby to wear, let her help me feed her, everything she could do, I let her. When my youngest was sleeping or happy in her swing, I would spend special time with the oldest. We would go in her room and do whatever she wanted. Just make sure to involve your oldest so that he can feel like a special person in the baby's life. And the most important is to spend quality time with him. That way he will know that you still love him and won't get jealous. He'll begin to understand when baby is awake, you have to take care of it, but when baby is sleeping, he gets to have fun with mommy.

Nykee - posted on 01/28/2010

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My girls are about 12 1/2 months apart, and I just tried to point out babies wherever we went - even the ones on TV. I even got her a baby doll. The younger one is about 6 months old now, and my older daughter is pretty great with her (except she LOVES to wake her up from naps). She's rough, so I have to watch her, but she loves her sister. I'd say just make sure you give him as much attention as you can, and try to expose him to a lot of babies and tell him that you're going to have one. He may not fully understand, but he will. Make sure you and your husband (if that applies to your situation) still snuggle with him, and even set some time aside for just him if possible. My older daughter has turned into a little helper now - she wants to hold bottles for her, and tickles her when she cries... even tells her she loves her. Now, when I feed the baby, she feeds a toy bottle to her baby doll on the couch next to me. She still gets jealous sometimes - tries to get in my lap if I'm holding the baby - but I just scoot baby over and make room and hug them both and we're getting along just fine! Best of luck to you :) I hope that was helpful!

Brittney - posted on 01/19/2010

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here is what i did. i bought a baby doll. it was big and very lifelike... (in fact people in church always whisper about me carrying this baby around with no coat on until they see it LOL) and i would sit on the floor with my little one and we would play babies. I would explain to her that the baby in mommys tummy was coming out and we could bring it home and take care of it litke this baby.

when we got home wiht new baby she was really jealous for mine and her daddys attention so jonathan worked extra hard to give her a little bit of extra TLC. We let her sit in the car seat when he wasn't in it and I would even hold her like a baby with her sippy cup after her baby brother came home because she needed the reassurance that we still loved and needed her. also the best advice i have for after the baby is born is resist resist resist sending the older sibling off somewhere else. It sends them the wrong message!

Krista - posted on 11/06/2009

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My older two are 20 months apart. When my second one was born he was in the ICU for a week. The longest week of my life. When he came home, I made sure when he was sleeping (now and then) that I would do something fun with the oldest. I would feed the youngest, and read to the oldest. He had a doll that he could take care of. I let him help when he could, he could get diapers for me and help burp baby (they love that). Now they are 10 and 8, and very close. Now I have the issue of my oldest getting to the point where he wants time to himself and the 8 yr old doesn't understand. But they still play together alot.



Hang in there, it won't be like this forever. Make sure you are spending time with the oldest, be consistent in the rules, and give him lots of love. It'll be great.

Melissa - posted on 10/17/2009

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My childern are 5,2,1 years old. with my 1st child I had a doll for him to carry around with him, at the time he was 2.5 years old when his sister came into the picture, he did fine with her, My daugter didnt really understand what was going on. she and my 3rd child are just about 13 months apart. She was a bit rough with him but liked him.

The frist year was hard for me. with a 3 and a 1 year old and a new baby, Everything will work out just fine. i wouldnt have changed anything, when there older they will be really close to each other. Sorry i couldnt help,



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Ashley - posted on 09/03/2009

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I am due in December but due to a birth defect my son will be delivered about a month early so he will be here in november. My first son will be about 18months when the new baby gets here. I have been trying to help my son understand as much as possible for a 1 year old, but he is still only 1. He can tell you where his baby brother is and he lifts up my shirt and says baby all the time, and when you say give your baby brother a kiss he lifts my shirt and blows raspberries on my stomach, its really cute. The best advice i can give seeing as how right now im kinda at the same place as you is maybe get your son a doll or something let him cuddle the doll and show him how fun it is to help take care of the baby, thats what i am trying.

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