Post Partum Depression

Maggie - posted on 01/12/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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will anyone confess? I expected it with my first......God blessed me. I got it BAD after my second baby.

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Maura - posted on 01/19/2009

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My husband and I have two kids, neither one planned. The unplanned thing, I think, played a role in my PPD. I would say it was severe with my oldest. We were fortunately able to nip it in the bud and get me into counseling and on 50 mgs of Zoloft. I was still on it when I found out I was pregnant with my son, and so after some consultation with my OBGYN, I decided to remain on it throughout my pregnancy. I was weened off it during the last two weeks (because of effects it could have on the baby), and immediately launched back into the regimen the day after his birth.



I feel remarkably different this time around, though I can see the PPD peeking through every once in a while. In those cases, I employ the coping mechanisms I learned in therapy.



I'm there with you. I understand what it feels like to simultaneously love your baby with all your heart, and yet somehow wish he/she never happened. I know how it feels to be physically unable to get out from under the covers, even if you're not tired. And you and I are not alone when we've wondered why we can look down at our children, and we can see how perfect and beautiful they are, and yet feel nothing at all for them. And good God, I can tell you the guilt it causes is intense.



It's not you; it's not your fault. You're sick, and you need the attention of a medical professional to get better. But it's going to be okay. When you get the help you need, you'll start to feel like you're you again.



And that's what we really need, yes?

Amy - posted on 01/17/2009

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I got it mild with my first and severe with my second.

So bad that when my MIL came to take me lunch I broke down in the car and told her to turn around.

I had never ever been so horrified, I had no control over my mind and I felt I would go insane.

With my 3rd, I started anti-depressants during the latter part of the pregnancy and WOW what a difference!! I truly can say he's the only newborn I really looked down at and smiled, the only baby that when he cried I didn't want to tear my hair out and the only baby I truly didn't feel was a total burden to wake up to thru the night because I couldn't sleep AT ALL with PPD.



I freaked on my FIL and he still can't let it go, my MIL talked about my hormones forever I mean, it was so tough because everyone was like, what's wrong with the FREAK????

My hubby was constantly having to apologize for me....



Screw those who don't get it. It is real and it is SERIOUS.

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Amy - posted on 01/31/2009

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Hi Maggie, I know anti-depressants are expensive, I think mine cost 100+ a month.
I can tell you that is passes with time. Not being able to take medication sounds tough.
Don't let other's opinions affect you. My mom was here when I had my children and with the first 2 was utterly distraught at my complete melt down when I came home from the hospital. It was tough on everyone.

Do you have a gym membership? where do you live? the YMCA offers 2 hours of childcare a day. Going swiming or whatever you enjoy is nice. Be aware that the age of your babies is important as they will get sick at first ;)
I know for me, there really was no "will power" or activity that I could do until my meds kicked in. I also felt that no one understood - which was true :) - but they did care.
Often though, I preferred not to discuss things as people said the wrong thing.

Stay away from people who upset you. Also, make sure you get sleep even if it means a sporadic tylenol PM to help you crash.
Send me a message anytime and add me. I am always available. I am glad your seeking others, I couldn't even do that. I was a MESS. I know how scary it can be.

Maggie - posted on 01/20/2009

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thank you so much Maura! We can't afford the medicine my doctor presribed....so I'm just on BC pills. They help a little, but I mainly fight the attacks with breathing and putting myself in time-out. I can't tell you how much better I feel just by reading your reply! and amy's. My friends and family have never known anyone to have suffered (and it IS SUFFERING!!!!) with PPD so I'm driving them crazy and I worry that they think I should never have had these precious angels nor should I DARE want any more n(which I do). But I joined the local mom's club and those women are incredible. They understand and help give me a break every once in a while. Thanks again! I would like to keep you two around if you don't mind.

Maggie - posted on 01/20/2009

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thanks, Amy! alwasy nice and refreshing for someone to unbderstand. And you love your kids....you know?! you just have these sneaking thoughts that break your heart. thank you.

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