The vicious cycle. Keeping your children/child from it. Even if it means keeping them away from the grandparents.

Felicia - posted on 05/04/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )




My daughter's father was in a very abusive home. Locked in closets , tormented, laughed at while cried, bullied, ignored, mistreated in basically anyway you could mistreat a child. He didn't speak until he was three years old because of all of the vicious things that happened to him and around him. After the separation of the our daughters grandparents, his mother found love again ...a little to quickly after the fact ...and then from going from two parents separating he was introduced to another family figure....his mother's girlfriend. Then the girlfriend's sister and her husband are introduced and turn out to be sexual predators , and prayed on several children in the family. From there starts the story of who he later became, after years and years of constant neglect and abuse he finally runs away and takes himself out of the situation .
Him and his brother were taken away, the mother regained her rights to them both in a year , he refused to return his brother did . Leaving him in a happy foster care family. His father then takes him out ...only to be used and inflicted with more pain.
Both parents were addicts, vicious, sarcastic ,manipulative, and basically plain out sociopaths. The grandfather till this day , has never grown from any of this ...and definatly as for the mother.

As of current he has become both mother and father.He attacked me on so many different levels emotionally, physically[while pregnant and not pregnant] .I finally left our toxic relationship after a year and took our daughter out of the situation before he did something to her out of anger. I am an unwed single 19 year old mother , he is a 24 year old man and almost twice my size. He has destroyed his family on so many different levels but then wants to have a relationship with his child and wants the mother...

to have overnight sleep overs with our child ?

His mother and him have petitioned against me in court him for joint custody her for visitation and I have filed against him for full custody and to have no unsupervised visitation with the mother...

these people are cruel , am I right for keeping my little ray of sunshine protected under these conditions ? She resides with me currently, I need some input.


Kimberly - posted on 05/04/2012




Yes you are fully in your right to keep this child away from these people! I know that people change and the past is the past but the son has shown current signs that he still lives and acts out the things from his past so that does put your child in danger. I came from a very violent upbringing and I know the lasting effect that it can have on you but unlike you ex I found counsiling and a way to move past all the things that happened to me. Mother has also changed and it is for real as she realized that the life she was living already costed her one daughter and if she didnt change she would lose the other two, plus I made sure they same things that happened to me couldnt happen to them. Keep your daughter safe both physically and mentally, there is nothing sadder then a child that gets there spirit broken by cruel people who are only repeating history.


View replies by

Heather - posted on 01/20/2013




Oh my God, try everything you can to protect your child. Call you state Department of Health and Human Services and find information about any non-profit domestic abuse agencies that can guide you, give you some emotional support, and point you in the right direction with other local resources that you can tap into. Good luck and please let us know how you are doing..

Kay - posted on 11/09/2012




I understand your problem. However, a child need to know both parents and should never have to choose between them. You are your daughters protection. Just make sure you are healthy minded, not narcistic, and have right intentions in your own heart. I would say, protect, protect, protect and at the same time, continue your own path to healthiness. The best way to do that is to involve you self in God's word, allow Him to soften your heart. Make Him your first priority, than you daughter. Keep things in His perspective.

I speak from experience. I will pray for you. Keystone

Angela - posted on 11/09/2012




Refuse them any unsupervised access. But do let them have supervised access. It's important for all parties to know each other as family. Good luck.

Kay - posted on 11/07/2012




I think you are very right in protecting her. I would never leave her alone with him, if she does see him. You are her protection. Sounds to me like you have a court case that would win. If you need to move out of the area to put distance, find a way to do that. If this man is as dangerous as you say he is, don't let him around your daughter. God bless, we are in difficult times.

Mel - posted on 07/10/2012




It is never wrong to keep a child safe. I am fighting to keep my daughter safe right now and not winning the battle because of the courts and a manipilative ex and the ex's family.

A child should be alllowed to live a full and happy life. I do not know how the law works as it seems people like the ones you have mentioned do not care or have any sense of morals or ethics and yet get their way quite often.

I would keep fighting for what is in the best interests of my child.

When I think about things like this, If it were a total stranger they would be seen as unfit, but just because they have a biological input it is okay for them to get away with the evil they do.
If people like that are unfit to adopt etc, why would they be fit to raise a child? Doesnt make sense to me. Keep doing what your doing. The child will respect you and your influence is what will make a positive difference in her life.

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