court

Jennifer - posted on 09/06/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I will be going to court for child support in about a month.He doesn't return his lawyers calls and won't sign divorce papers so I had the state go after him for child support.Iam wondering what is going to go on when I go???Any advice,help,ideas??? He has been gone for 3 years and hasn't done much.Now,he isnt working either.Thanks

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Jennifer - posted on 09/10/2009

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Iam hoping that something good comes out of it for several reasons-I was not allowed to work while we were married for 1.he had his career and 2.our youngest has disabilities and needs to be cared for all the time.I really want him to pay for medical insurance and co-pays.He has no insurance on them.And the IRS has taken my taxes for 3 years because he owes lots and lots of money.I have filed innocent spouse but,we are still legally married-sad.They say they can't really help me-IRS.Also,sad how he lives in the same town only blocks from our house and nver calls or sees the kids.Not sure why on that actually when he used to be the perfect Dad

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BTW - When you go to court: do not bring kids unless specifically told to do so. do not bring boyfriends, best friends, etc. unless there is a reason to depose them on the stand. Dress nicely - like for a job interview. Expect to be boring and time consuming, bring a book or crossword puzzle to do while waiting for your case. Always refer to the judge as "your honor". try not to come off as a crazy lady who only wants his money. focus on what is in the best interest of the children. refer to them as "our children" NOt his or mine. If he isn't returning his lawyers calls his lawyer may actually recuse himself. While a judgement/order will be made, don't expect it to do much good - don't expect it to be followed. something like 60% of all child support cases are delinquent. sad, pathetic.

Michelle - posted on 09/09/2009

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payback is always sweet isn't it!!! Keep fighting, we women give up to easily because we feel the need to be the "good" person, to help the dad keep his realationship with the children....we forget that there are things the cildren need too that required money...like food, clothes... DONT EVER LET HIM GET AWAY WITHOUT PAYING....

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Just found this tid bit out! My ex is deliquent on support - and self employed so I can't garnish wages. BUT - i can get the feds to take it out of his tax refund!

Rebecca - posted on 09/09/2009

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if u recieve child support u can set it up to have it put into your banking acct anyways they dont send u a check thro mail any more due to fraud and what have u and u get this card but becareful some banks dont accept the card they issue to u from child support so have it sent to your banking acct .

Tessa - posted on 09/08/2009

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Bring all necessary paperwork--your taxes, daycare costs, medical bills, etc. Also, anything you have on him, most helpful is SS number. INSIST that you want his payments taken from his check and direct deposited in your account, if your state does that. I'm in NY, had a good judge, I guess!

Rebecca - posted on 09/08/2009

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inquire about what the law is about the childsupport in your area.. and ask your lawyer about what is going to happen its the lawyer and the judge that sees fit but the judge has final say over everything if he owes then i see him having to pay... if they find him but if he is bringing money in and working cash under the table he doesnt have to pay child support... look up some divorce books at ur local library and that will help u answer some ? on what u need answered too i did that and it helped me as well been divorce for 2 1/2yrs.

Michelle - posted on 09/08/2009

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I feel for you. im not sure how it works where you are from, but i can tell you this, the courts dont seem to really care. I've spent 3 years in and out of court, and even with the proper papers and the law on my side, every time I seek help I get the same answers. There is nothing they are willing to do to help. My ex continously refuses to follow the judgement. Every time I make inquiries to the police, the family court, my lawyer they all tell me the same thing, there is nothing they can do, I have to take him back to court.....I hold my breath constantly,

Candice - posted on 09/07/2009

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depends on whether they can find him i assume. If he isn't responding to calls, do they know where he lives or works? if not, you're probably out of luck. But they have ways of tracking him if he applies for a job, files taxes, or other things like that. unfortunately, i don't know what to tell you about what will happen when you go to court. i would call whoever you called to file (a lawyer or the DHFS) to find out what the procedure is. I'm in Canada so the procedure is probably very different...and the fact that your guy may not even show up in court may change how things happen. I know here, if they don't show, the judge can make an order right there. I hope, for your sake, he doesn't show. otherwise it gets more complicated.

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