custody

Kristin - posted on 05/01/2010 ( 13 moms have responded )

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i want full custody of my son bc his dad is not a good role model and is never around nor does he pay child support how do i do this?

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Candice - posted on 05/02/2010

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shannon: actually, in canada, if the parents never lived together and the child lived with one parent since birth (usually the mother), then that parent has defacto custody until ruled otherwise. But yes, without legal documents to back it up, it may be hard to prove to authorities (like police).

Crystal - posted on 05/02/2010

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I hate to say this. I felt the same way about my ex, but no state will give full custody to the mother unless the can prove the father is no good, abusive, an alcoholic, druggie etc. But if you take him to court he will more than likely get every other weekend and every other holiday. But he will be ordered to pay child support.

or in the best case he will sign away his rights.

Kristy - posted on 05/02/2010

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I live in Georgia. And according to child custody law, if you were not married at the time of the birth, even if the father signed the birth cert., he has no rights! The mother has ALL the rights. To obtain any rights, 1st he will have to legitimize the child, then he will have to take it to court for visitation. The mother can file for child support without having to go to court for legitimization, rights, etc.

Shannon - posted on 05/02/2010

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Just wondering why people think that a mother has full custody of a child if the parents aren't married and there is no custody agreement? I have seen this written more than once. The only way that would be true would be if there is no father named on the birth certificate. If both parents are on the birth certificate and there is no custody agreement (even if you were never married) the parents have EQUAL right to the child. If the child's mother would take the child and the father would call the authorities they will not do anything without a custody agreement. Same goes for if the father would take the child and the mother would call the authorities they can not do anything with out a custody agreement. I live in Pennsylvania and here, unless you can physically prove the father is unfit, he will be granted visitation. You may be able to get it set that it starts with supervised visits for 1 hour once a week. Another thing I would like to point out is that at least in PA child support and custody have NOTHING to do with one another. Here you need to file for child support separately it is not automatically granted if he has visitation and they will not keep him from seeing his child if he is not paying. However, not paying, if you file and it is ordered, could result in jail time. The best thing you can do is seek legal councel, that way you know what the laws are for your state because they do vary some from state to state. Also keep very accurate records of dates, times, ect of when he has been in contact with you, when he has seen the child, and also what transpired. Keep phone records, text messages, emails, ANY and ALL communications. Conduct yourself politely and respectfully when dealing with him even if he does not deserve it. It will make you look better. Do not send him any texts or messages unless it is in response to something he has sent you and always be polite and proper do not swear or say anything he can use against you. Keep communication strictly about the child and if he trys to fight with you do not respond. Good luck I hope things work out.

13 Comments

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Leigh - posted on 11/11/2012

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If he is not a good rolemodel, show your concerns to a family lawyer who then can put this towards a Judge. And this will be sent out to him. Write down all of your concerns; unreliability, non-payment, and other. These concerns go to the Dad, if the Dad is not listening. At the end of the day, any illegal behaviour, has to be considered by the Judge. But also how you react or treat him goes to the Judge.

I kept things relatively peaceful until my children grew up. Then oops, the fathers parents got a smashed window, etc.... to all of the family, and I walked out.(How dare you all disrestpect the mother over all these years). I made it quite clear to everyone that I did not like the family men, and to all those that support them; goodbye. All families involved sold up and moved. I understand one gets 3 chances before conviction(affecting you) begins.

Heather - posted on 11/09/2012

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Yes, it is true that in MOST states a mother does have sole and absolute custody of her child unless the father goes to court and asks for rights. Being named on the birth certificate does not automatically establish a father's right to a child. This is an issue of paternity- paternity and child custody are two seperate legal issues.



However, having sole custody because you are unmarried and have never been to court does not really give you any advantage at all. If you enter the family court system, unwed parents are both resumed to be fit and it will be considered an "inital determination" of custody. The difference is extremely important because it does not have the same burden of proof required to modify a child's residence. SO- the fact that your child has always lived with you (continuity) may not carry as much weight in an inital custody determintion as it would in a modification case. AND if a mother has a history of denying visitation for ANY reason she can lose custody in the blink of an eye. I have spent a year embroiled in the paternity/custody system and am still not out of it yet.

Jennifer - posted on 09/20/2010

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i live in nys and i have sole legal physical legal custody.. and i was able to get it cause hes never around.. so kristin if you want to get full custody go to court and tell the judge that hes never around.. as long as you have proof like yahoo messenger phone messages text messages etc that he doesnt want anything to do with your son you can win custody.. and as for child support if you have a court order for child support he can go to jail well i know in nys you will loose your lisence first than go to jail for 6mos.. but thats nys i dont know what other states are like.. but good luck hopefully everything works out for you or has worked out for you since your post was back in may....

Gabrielle - posted on 09/19/2010

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i like in the UK. My partners ex is trying to get full custody and is using the child as a weapon against us. We have a shared residence order and she doesnt stick to it. She changes the arrangements, times, doesnt give us half the holidays etc. Some mum (im not saying any of you) like my partners ex use the child as a weapon to hurt the other. It is hard having children and not recieving any money off the father, but i would never stop my childs father seeing her unless he was a druggy, alcoholic, hits her, shouts at her or she tells me she doesnt want to see him for what ever reason. Does he see her at all? x

Jessica - posted on 05/16/2010

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In Texas, both parents have the same rights until a court order is done. This applies if the parents were married or an Acknowledgment of Paternity was signed by both parents (and a Denial of Paternity was signed by the mother's legal husband, if he is not the bio-father). If the child was born outside of wedlock and no acknowledgment of paternity was signed, the father will need to get genetic testing ordered by a court, or he will need to file a paternity suit in order to get his rights.

Tuesdae - posted on 05/14/2010

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Just go down to the courthouse and file the petition...my brother did it...and when you get full custody he will have to file a petition to get visitation back...at least that's how it is in wa state

Adrian - posted on 05/02/2010

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Go to your local juvenile courthouse and file a petition for full custody, and visitation-if you want him to see your son. You will then get a summons in the mail, as will he, with your court date in it. When you go to court, take all the evidence you have against him and his parenting abilities with you. Make sure you plan out what you're going to say ahead of time. They usually grant full custody to the mother, but they may or may not grant the father visitation. If they allow him visitation, as that it be supervised by someone other than you, at set times. Hope this helps you!

Shannon - posted on 05/02/2010

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Thank you Candice. That would explain some of the times that I have seen that written. Usually before I even attempt to give my imput on custody issues and what not I check to see if the person even lives in the states because there is such a diverse group of moms here and I don't want to be telling someone in Canada or any other country something that isn't even close to true in their country.

Kristy - posted on 05/02/2010

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were you two married? if not, and there is no court order, then you have full custody. if there is a court order, then you will have to take it back to court

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