I am wondering when should I take my ex to court?

Gwyn - posted on 10/09/2009 ( 24 moms have responded )

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My ex husband said he would help me out every month, just don't take him to court. So far I have only received child support for one month. This month he says he just doesn't have the money. What should I do? I really hate to go to court over this but i am confused.

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Jessica - posted on 10/29/2009

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take him to court or through state. i delt with that for almost an entire yr then I finally took him through state. when I did I found he was making 50,000 a yr, so he was lieing to me the entire time. state will do back childsupport and all too.

Jessica - posted on 10/17/2009

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You don't have to go to court, just get in touch with your states child support office. You just give them his info (name, work, etc) and they will take it from there. You don't have to stand up in front of him and everyone else and say what you want, they will figure out how much he should pay and collect.

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Rayna - posted on 01/30/2017

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I have always told my children fathers (two) that the day they act like they do not have kids and not support them is the day I would file for child support. They both was on child support at the same time about three yrs ago. One lives out of state and the other still lives in the same state as our child. The one out of state left our state and moved back to our hometown after three years still no support. The second dad say I didnt have to do that and he would help and he helps with his child. Now I have the one out of state who pays financially and the other one in state who supports our child here. I encourage you to take the steps or sit there and wait but that could take years and you may not get the support you need as the child grows older. They get bigger as time goes by.

Rhonda - posted on 11/22/2011

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Take him to court. Let the court tell him what he is responsible for and impose consequences for failing to hold up his end of the deal. You can't hold him accountable by yourself. But you owe it to your child to make him be accountable. The court will help you do that.

Liz - posted on 11/18/2011

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See how long he makes you wait if its more than a month then take him to court. It's harsh but if you don't put your foot down he will think he can walk all over you.

Jessica - posted on 10/30/2009

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i agree.. be aware, guys do know how to play the game.. as long as they are even paying two dollers a month it still shows they are making an effort. i dont know the obstacles about going through court, but i believe ur best bet is through state.

Tiffany - posted on 10/30/2009

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I would definately turn him in for child support. Doesn't mean you will get it if he is like some other fathers I know. My kids dad always finds a way around not paying. Working under the table and crap. But there is consequences to them not paying. If you don't then there isn't and you cant get back pay if you don't have that order in place. Just do it. Its the vest for your child and then you don't have to worry anymore about trying to get it. Let the state get it for you. Doesn't cost you anything to do that.

Michelle - posted on 10/28/2009

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Court helps to put boundaries in place that don't depend on good will. If you were still together he would be giving money for all the bills etc, so why shouldn't he be contributing to his child just because you are not together. Bet he had enough money for all the things he needed. He has done it once... that is enough, if you don't do something about it straight away then he will think he can always muck you around when it suits him. Give him the ultimatum... pay up now or I start court proceedings, then the ball is in his court. Let him give the sob story to the judge instead of you. You have years of this in front of you, don't give him the power to stuff about. Once it is court stamped then it gives you some power to hold him in check over his responsibilities... once they leave the house they seem to forget this and get into their heads that they are giving the mum money, not that they are paying for their children.

LAQUISHA - posted on 10/28/2009

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Why are u confused there is no reason for u to feel that way u didn't make that child alone and being a parent is very expensive take his ass to court immediately cause if u keep waiting around letting him think he can pay when he feels like it it'll never get done u have to show him u mean buisness and your child is not a bill that u can pay for it this month and not the next your child is priority and he should come first and formost above any and everything.The judge gone give him an option to pay up now or sit in jail which one u think he gone choose?

Sinatria - posted on 10/27/2009

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Take him to court. I went thru the same and now my daughter is three and iv been doing it all alone the ENTIRE time. Now he seems interested in his daughter now that I am taking him to court. Do what is best for your child.

Jennifer - posted on 10/27/2009

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I agree do it the legal way.. Men seem to always pray on a Woman's kind heart. I went through the same situation.

Michelle - posted on 10/27/2009

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If you have custody of the children, then yes, go to court. My CS was set when I got divorced and he wouldn't pay stating the same as 'your he'. I sacrifice ALL the time to give my kids what they need despite of my own needs. Just contact Child Support Enforcement for your state, let them handle the rest. They will walk you through what you need and they'll deal with him, not you.



EDIT: And what he is doing is called MANIPULATION, just smarten up a little. Take it from us veterans on this one lol.

Jackie - posted on 10/23/2009

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ur child comes 1st...ur child has needs n can't wait...his problems r none of ur concerns anymore...jus t take him 2 court...or else u will just keep on waitin 4 dat money 4 ur child..u will keep hearin da same story...take him 2 court..

Chassity - posted on 10/18/2009

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Take him to court, he is going to keep making excuses. Just think, when it comes to us mommies, even when we don't have the extra money we can't say, "Sorry, I just don't have money to buy you food this week, kids." We are always the ones left to pick up the pieces.

Carol - posted on 10/17/2009

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go to court. You child comes first. They will issue a order having it deducted from his check before he gets it.

Jacqui - posted on 10/13/2009

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My daughters dad was the same way, but one day you'll get to the point where you're just fed up. I go with out things all the time to make sure that my daughter has what she needs, and he should to. Taking him for child support was one of the smartest things I ever did. He hardly ever pays it but each time he doesn't is more arrears. He used to say that all I had to do was ask him and beg me not to go through the courts but no matter how many times you ask or what the money is for it was always the same story.... " I just don't have it this week" or " How am I supposed to live when your askin for money every month" You need to think about your child girl. Stop worrying about him!!!

Billie - posted on 10/12/2009

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I agree with the other ladies...go for child support. When your child needs something you can't just say you don't have it. You have to make sacrifices to get it done. So must he. Before anything else comes out of his pocket, his money to you is supposed to be paid. when he goes for child support, they can take the money directly out of his check before he even sees it. What would he tell child support? That he just doesn't have it? Whatever. You gave him a chance and he blew it. Your baby has needs and you're doing your part. Don't feel bad about making him do his.

Zoey - posted on 10/11/2009

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File for child support. They always make excuses but there is no excuse to not support your child. He can cut back or go without something to make sure the baby is alright

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